Fragile Hearts (6 page)

Over the next week I think about my life a lot
and I decide to do something I've never done before, so I ask Lucy to take me
to a local bar and grill that the students hang out at. I've heard a lot about
the place and I just want to experience having a glass of beer at a
"hangout."

I invite Lucy over for her favorite dessert, New
York cheesecake, because I know she can't resist it. I open the door to her
knock and she rubs her hands together. "Okay, what's up? You have an
ulterior motive for inviting me over for cheesecake; I could hear it in your
voice."

I grin and say, "I do have a request."

She glances at my clothing. "Hell, girl,
why are you so dolled up?"

"Because I want you to take me somewhere
I've never been, and you don't get dessert until you do."

Warily, she says, "Oookkkaaay. Exactly
where is it you want to go? Oh, don't tell me." She gets a shit-eating
grin. "You want to visit the male-stripper club."

I laugh. "I don't have that much courage—yet.
But I do have enough to visit Bandy's Bar and Grill. You know the place where
half the campus hangs out."

Lucy clucks, "First Bandy's Bar, then Stan's
Stripper Club. That's where walking on the wild side will lead you."

I always enjoy joking with Lucy, but I say
seriously, "Will you go with me?"

"Hon. I'd love to go. I once went with this
nerdy guy and all he wanted to talk about was how 3D movies were made, but
after a couple of beers, he just wanted to get into my panties. What a creep. But
I have to warn you, the place is loud, crowded, crazy, and fun."

"I don't think I've ever experienced, loud,
crowded, crazy, and fun, so let's hurry up and go. I'll call a cab; that way
you can drink as much as you want and then spend the night with me."

"Hey, not that I'm complaining, but why don't
we ask Tyce to take us? Or at least meet us there?"

I glance away from her all-seeing eyes. "Tyce
might be embarrassed to be seen with me at a club."

Lucy frowns. "That's ridiculous and so
not
Tyce. I bet he'd love to go with us. Let's call him." She pulls her cell
phone from her pocket.

"No!"

With an exasperated look she shrugs and puts it
back. "Okay, kiddo, it's just you and me and maybe a couple of hot
guys."

The bar is about seven miles away and for most
women a night out isn't a big deal, but I'm sweating bullets. After all, I've
been a recluse for years. Lucy senses my nervousness and reaches to pat my hand
during the cab drive. She says, "I'm proud of you for taking this step."
Then she laughs, "Have me and Tyce turned you into a party-girl?"

Her joking calms me. I joke back, "Yeah.
And my mom and dad will be the first to thank you. They've been trying to get
me to do things for years."

"I'm not sure this is what they had in
mind."

"Well, if I jump up and start dancing on
the table, please stop me."

Lucy laughs, "Yep, we've created a
monster."

We reach the bar and the parking lot is
overflowing. I ask the taxi driver to drop us off at the back of the lot. He
lifts my wheelchair from the trunk and winks. "You girls have a great
time, but stay away from smooth talkers and watch your drinks. You don't want a
Mickey dropped in one." I pay the driver and his words make me have second
thoughts. I almost tell Lucy I've decided to forget becoming a party animal,
but I clench my hands until they hurt. I want to break free of the prison of my
own making. I want to experience life.

"Here we go," says Lucy as she waits
for me to push the lever of my chair forward. Just as we reach the entrance, a
man and woman with their arms around each other burst through the door. The man
doesn't see me and almost falls in my lap. At the last minute he catches
himself. He says, "Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you."

"Don't worry about it," I reply.
"It's not your fault."

When they walk away, I hear the woman say,
"Wheelchairs need a bell or something to warn people they're coming."

Lucy says low. "What an idiot. I'd like to hang
a bell around her neck so people know when
she's
coming. She's in my
English class and snotty as hell."

My courage is starting to falter and Lucy says
as soon as we enter. "Hey, there's a spot over in the corner. Com'on."

People have to shift out of the way as I wheel
past them and I'm wishing I was anywhere but here. Finally, we reach the table.
Lucy moves a chair out of the way so I can wheel around to the back and face
the front of the room. I let out the breath I've been holding. Maybe I really
don't want to learn how to become a normal person; maybe I want to stay a
recluse.

A cute girl bounces over to us. "What can I
get you two?"

Lucy says, "I'd like a beer, anything light."
She glances at me.

"Ah, I'll have the same."

The waitress asks, "We got some great
nachos. Want to order them, too?"

Lucy knows I love nachos. She says, "Yeah,
make that a large order."

The nice girl says, "Got it. But I've got
to card you for the beers."

Lucy says, "No problem." We both hand
over our driver's licenses. We had them ready because we knew we'd be carded.

The waitress checks our ID, grins, and says,
"Enjoy your evening." She bounces away.

I start to relax and take in my surroundings.
The room is dark, but not so dark that faces can't be seen. There's a long bar
that runs the length of the wall opposite us. I'm glad we're not close to it. I
want to observe people without being observed myself. There are several guys
and gals sitting at the bar and watching a game of pool going on to my right.
The players are a man and a woman. Whenever the woman bends over, her cleavage
practically falls out of her low cut top. She sinks a red ball into a corner pocket.
The women at the bar cheer. The guy she's playing against smirks and says
something I can't hear. The woman misses her next shot, but grins seductively
at him. The other guys cheer their friend on. He strikes the cue ball, misses
his mark, and the cue ball rolls into a pocket. The women give each other
high-fives and the men harass the guy.

Someone walks to the juke box that's close to
the entrance and puts coins in it. Adam Lampbert's voice fills the room. I've
always liked figuring out the lyrics to songs and his voice makes it easy. He
sings my favorite part.

If I wanted to leave I would have left by now

But you're the only one who knows me

Better than I know myself

Our waitress returns balancing a tray on one
hand. "Here ya go, girls." She sets the nachos in the center of our
table and then places plates and utensils down. Next, she sets out mugs and
then our beer bottles. The mugs are chilled.

Lucy pours beer into my glass while I scoop
nachos onto my plate. With my first bite, I say, "Oh, yeah. These are
great." Lucy grabs a chip dripping with meat, cheese, sour cream, and
salsa right from the center of the plate and shoves it in her mouth. She follows
it with a gulp of beer straight from her bottle. "Marvelous," she
says with a full mouth.

I lift my mug and take a small sip of beer. I
almost gag. Lucy's watching and giggles. She leans forward and whispers,
"I knew it. This is your first beer, right?"

Sheepishly, I nod.

She whispers again. "Don't worry. The taste
gets better."

"I sure hope so," I whisper back.

For the next fifteen minutes we watch the
comings and goings of customers and a new game of pool starts. A few people are
dancing in front of the juke box that's now playing a Rihanna song. Actually,
they're not exactly dancing, more like clinging to each other and shuffling
their feet.

A guy from the bar walks over and asks Lucy to
dance. She says in a friendly manner, "Maybe later, Mike."

He nods and leaves.

I ask Lucy, "So, you know him?"

"Yeah, he's a real asshole. Always trying
to show how smart he is in class. I have no intention of dancing with
him."

"He seems to like you. Maybe he shows off
to impress you."

"Yeah, well maybe he'll have to be voted Sexiest
Man Alive by People Magazine before I'm impressed."

I laugh at Lucy and watch the door open to a new
group of patrons. She lifts her bottle for a swig, but pauses to ask,
"What's wrong?" She turns to look at the door. "Oh, hey, it's
Tyce."

I watch her expression change when she sees who
he's with—his
supposedly
ex-girlfriend and her entourage. I duck my head
and whisper fiercely, "I don't want him to see me."

Lucy moves her chair to hide me. She leans
forward and says, "I'd ask you why not, but with those blood-sucking
vampires beside him, things could get ugly. They don't like you because
he
likes you. They're totally jealous of you."

I whisper, "That's ridiculous."

"I take it you want to leave without being
seen."

"Yes. How can we do that?"

"I have no idea. Let's just wait for an
opportunity."

"What are they doing now?"

Surreptitiously, Lucy moves her head.
"They're at the bar ordering. Hey, Tyce just walked to the back where the
bathrooms are. You want to try and sneak out? We might not get another chance."

"Yes!"

"Okay, kiddo. I'll lead the way. Ready,
set, go."

I look at my beer mug that I've only taken a
couple of sips from and don't care. I hate the taste. But the nachos were good.
So much for my night on the town. Following behind Lucy, I make my way around
several couples hanging on to each other. Mostly, they don't see me until I'm
right next to them, and then they jump out of the way, apologizing profusely.
Why can't people just politely step aside and not make a big deal when I pass
by. We're almost to the door and I'm holding my breath. Maybe the mean girls
won't see me and maybe Tyce will stay in the bathroom until I'm gone.

Just when I reach the threshold, Tina steps in
front of me. She waves the beer in her hand. "Hey, Morgan, never thought
to see you here." With a sly glance behind me she says, "Tyce is here
with Cindy. Ya want to say hi?"

I must have looked stricken, because Lucy
interrupts, "Hey, back atcha. We don't have time to hang out. We got hot
dates waiting for us at the movies. Catch ya later." She holds the door
open and I hasten outside.

Before the door closes, I hear Tina snicker,
"Hot dates? Yeah, right."

I push my wheelchair as fast as it will go and
follow Lucy. She has her cell phone out to call a cab. Just when I breathe a
sigh of relief, I hear Tyce's voice behind me. I can't suck enough air into my
lungs.

"Morgan! Lucy! Wait up!"

I look up at Lucy who is looking at me, and she
mouths, "I'm sorry."

Pasting on a fake smile, I turn my chair around
and watch Tyce rushing toward us. He stops in front of me and squats.
"Morgan, when did you get here? Why didn't either of you call me? I would
have come with you."

I can't believe Tyce is so dense. Flippantly, I
respond, "Now why would you want to do that when you have your girlfriend
Cindy and her court fawning over you?" I can't believe I just said that.

Lucy makes a choking sound.

Softly, Tyce says, "Cindy isn't my
girlfriend. And I'm not here with them. I can't help it if we arrived at the
same time."

I can't seem to control my response. "As if
I care? Go back inside, your fan club waits."

Tyce stands and looks around the parking lot.
"Lucy, did you drive here?"

"Ah, no. We took a cab."

"I'll drive you both home."

I look up at Tyce. "No. We came in a cab
and we'll leave in a cab."

Lucy glances between us, lifts her hands in mock
surrender, and says, "Morgan, you may hate me for this, but I'm letting
Tyce take us home." She turns to him and asks, "Where's your
truck?" He points and her footsteps are loud as she rushes toward it.

I'm feeling very stubborn. "Call me a
cab," I insist.

He crouches again and says angrily, "What
the hell is going on with you?"

I refuse to look him in the eyes.

His voice softens. "Are you jealous?"

I jerk my gaze to his and hate the tears pricking
my eyes. A big one drips.

Tyce softly curses, "Fuck it all to hell.
I'm tired of fighting this." He reaches and thumbs the tear away and my
eyes stay glued to his. Slowly, he lowers his mouth to mine. I
really
can't breathe now.

With exquisite tenderness he kisses me. I close
my eyes. I can't believe Tyce is kissing me like this. I'm not sure of what I
should do, so I pucker my lips a little. He makes a sound that's a cross
between a groan and a growl, and deepens the kiss, then he places one hand
behind my head and pulls our lips tighter. His tongue touches the crease of my
mouth and I know what he wants. I part my lips slightly and he gently invades
my mouth. I'm still not sure of exactly what I should do, but that doesn't seem
to bother him. He cups my chin with his other hand and pulls my mouth a little
more open. I find myself moving my tongue with his and now he groans big-time.