Fragile Truths (21 page)

“Good?” Tate asked sceptically. I shrugged and sighed as I let my gaze drop to my toes, the red varnish that had decorated my nails perfectly was now chipped and faded, another reminder that life had changed drastically. Stupid things like manicures and pedicures were of no consequence any longer and I shook my head sadly when I thought back to the way my life had been.

“I knew,” I paused and swallowed against the shame as I forced the words to flow, compelled myself to tell Tate how I felt – what I was. “I always knew there was something
wrong
with me.”

“Frankie!” he chastised but I held up my hand and halted him.

“Wait, I’m telling you.” He grunted against me and I smirked to myself. He was such an
alpha male
, completely different from what I was used to but after the way he had just made me come, I knew he was what my fantasies had been preparing me for, my body and mind training for him. “I never came, and not for want of trying. Jarod was… hungry, all over me but he didn’t do it for me.” I closed my eyes and shuddered as that day’s memories slipped across my mind and started the ripple in the pit of my stomach. “We’d been in a relationship roughly about six months when we started talking about our sexual relationship.”

Tate sighed heavily and I turned my head to peer up at him with a frown. He twisted his lips and narrowed his eyes on me, “I’m not liking how you talking about fucking other guys is making me feel.”

His honestly floored me and I gulped against the tiny pop in my chest, “Why? It’s all in the past. I know you have a sexual history… in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if your sexual history hasn’t made the bloody Guinness Book of Records.”

He scowled at me but I laughed and cupped the side of his face, reaching up to plant a soft kiss on his jaw, “Well if you’ll let me finish my story then you’ll know that there has only ever been you to make me come during penetration.”

His face electrified as a huge beam laced from one ear to the other, his eyes proud and happy. “But that’s cos’ you were made for me, Frankie. Your wildness feeds the beast.”

I smiled and returned to staring at the walls. I didn’t want his gaze or his focus when I told him the rest, the part that ripped my confidence from under me. “Anyway,” I sighed deeply as I braced myself and ventured on. “I took a risk and told Jarod what… well, what I would like to try.”

“And that was?” Tate asked hesitantly, his awareness of what was coming causing his voice to quieten.

“I uhh, I suggested that he tie me up and we kinda…” I blew out a breath and closed my eyes as heat poured over me. “We get a little rough and try some anal… play.”

“Uh-huh,” he responded casually and I smiled faintly. Tate didn’t judge me; he didn’t think I was a freak or a monster, in fact I had the feeling he liked that side of me, it invigorated his own monster.

“I should have known at the time, the way he looked at me, the horror on his face as he asked why.”

“Why what?”

“Well, why I wanted to try that.” I disclosed then added quietly, “Why I wanted him to hurt me.”

“What the fuck?” He scoffed with a humourless laugh. “A girl asks you to fuck hard and straight up her ass and he’s horrified? What the hell was wrong with this guy?”

I paused and swallowed back the nausea as the humiliation and shame flooded me again, the memories hurtfully realistic and cruel. “He eventually agreed to try and when I got to his room that night, he held an excitement I hadn’t witnessed before. There was this wicked glint in his eyes. I stupidly mistook it for desire and eagerness.” How stupid had I been?

I looked down, my fingers twisting around each other, my cuticles sore and ravaged as I scraped at them with my nails and teeth. “Frankie, listen to me,” Tate whispered in my ear, his gentle tone wrapping around me and soothing the storm brewing inside me. “I won’t judge, I won’t laugh, and anything you say will not disgust me or make me think any less of you. Do you understand that?”

I nodded, “I know that. I’m just… I’m just struggling with the memories.”

“I understand and we have all the time in the world. This is your story and however long it takes you to tell it, I’ll be right here listening.”

“Okay,” I whispered in return then took a deep breath and finished my story. “To cut a long story short, Jarod grinned as he handcuffed me to the bed on my stomach; my bare body was twitching with the electricity that was invigorating my blood. My excitement was beyond a level I’d ever experienced before. I was so turned on but above all that I kept telling him how grateful I was for him letting me enact my fantasies. I wouldn’t let him blindfold me, as you know I have an
aversion
to darkness.”

I waited for Tate to interrupt but he didn’t. His support was still there but his patience was counselling. “He bound each ankle to the bottom posts of his bed as I grew more excited; he just kept mumbling things as he worked until I was tied up like a kipper, my body secured completely with no flex whatsoever.” I shivered again and grabbed onto Tate’s hands as he pushed them into mine, his fingers wrapping tightly around mine. “He… he slipped a blindfold over my eyes and I freaked out but he refused to remove it. He said I wanted the darkness so he was giving it me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tate growled as his body became rigid and hard, his anger thick in the small cubicle.

“He… he… Oh Christ.” I was shaking, my whole body trembling and feverish as I fought against the restrictions my mind had built up; the horror of the experience had erected a steel wall around the memory and it was battling with me as I tried to remove the bricks and set it free. “He fucked my arse with something that even to this day I have no idea what it was. He fucked me so hard that Mags had to take me to the hospital to get me checked out.”

“Fuck!”
Tate hissed behind me as he rested his face in my hair and placed numerous small tender kisses across my head.

“But that wasn’t the worse thing.” He stiffened as his breathing froze and he braced himself in preparation. “I was crying hard, so hard, however that didn’t stop me from hearing things, things that still haunt my nightmares.”

My tears were fluent now, the torrent of them swiping down my face and careering off my chin, the saltiness mixing with the fresh clean water of the shower as a chill seeped into my bones and generated a deep shudder. “What things, Frankie?”

“He kept saying ‘You disgusting fucking freak’ over and over but it wasn’t that…” I paused as the echo flooded my senses. “It was the laughter of his mates watching in the room that hurt me. He’d let them watch everything, they had heard me as I thanked him for giving me my desires and telling him what I wanted, they’d seen him take me with some random object and… and they all laughed at me, all of them taunting me and calling me a freak and…”

I gasped as a sob tore at my chest, the pain ripping through me as the deluge of tears threatened to drown me. “Ssshhh, babe” Tate soothed as he gently turned me round and pulled me onto his lap, his lips depositing millions of tiny kisses all over me, his need to comfort me breaking him in two as I let it all free; the pain, the shame, the hatred, the devastation and each fragile fucking memory, they all broke from me with a ferocity that crippled my lungs and seized my heart. “Hey, ssshhh, ssshhh…”

I clung to him desperately; he let me, encouraged me to use him, urged me to take what I needed from him as he gave me the strength to hold on through the storm, to secure my sanity as my mind lost control and panicked.

“Some don’t understand the need that’s within people like you and me, Frankie. They think that because they climax easy enough and their sex lives give them release, that people who need the extra stimulation are strange and odd. The unknown scares them, twists at their minds and gives them false truths of what is actually just the norm for us. It’s not you or I who are the freaks, Capella, it’s the narrow minded arseholes that judge people; it’s the fools that think the beast that resides inside us is a freak of nature when actually we were given that little bit extra sensuality when God created us.” He paused and ran his thumbs over my cheekbones, collecting and wiping the tears away. “We are the brave ones for being willing to entice the beast out of his cage, we have the courage to venture down the dark path, the road that Satan laid to lead us to ecstasy and rapture if we are daring enough.”

I gazed at him, his statement giving me the understanding I had needed, the reason why I was made differently and finally the acceptance I had searched for, for so long. He reached into me, his soft lips brushing over mine as his fingers laced with mine. “I happen to think your monster is fucking awesome. It complements mine, gives him a playmate, and allows him to perform at his best.”

I smiled at him as his eyes searched mine for acceptance and belief in myself. As I opened my mouth to thank him his lips captured mine and he kissed me so tenderly that I melted against him, my heart begging for more as my body bowed to him, thriving with the passion he consumed me with.

As his fingers threaded my hair, his touch soft and gentle this time, I bit down the sensation fluttering in my stomach, it wasn’t anything, maybe just a hunger pang or maybe the hint at a slight bug approaching.

Yet the ache in my heart said something different entirely.

Jude

The chains rattled against the hooks, the noise almost deafening as I pounded her, my anger and fury driving me harder and crueller. She screamed under me, the pain too much as I refused to relent and pulled the chains, amplifying her discomfort until I watched the cuffs sink mercilessly into the softness of her wrists.

“Jude!” She screamed at me. She couldn’t see the heartless smirk across my lips as her suffering brought me closer to release. She thrashed under me, her body fighting against mine as I grappled with her and seized each of her hands in mine, my excitement peaking as she fought me until I trapped her against the wood. Her body trembled against me, her intense orgasm ripping through her denial at the act and telling us both how much this excited her, how much the manacles pushed her limits but strengthened the bliss.

I pushed in deeper as my balls exploded, the condom restricting the torrent of cum as my spine screamed at the white hot shot of pain.

“Fuck!” Cass panted as her head dropped forward and she rested her forehead against the central column of the old wooden cross, “You fucking arsehole!”

I laughed as I gripped the edge of the condom and slid out of her, “Careful darlin’, wind me up and I may just leave you shackled a bit longer.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed as the grooves of her spine rippled with her heavy pants, “Just untie me, Jude, before my knees tremble any harder.”

I reached up and flicked the clasp on each cuff, releasing her immediately but not before placing an arm around her waist to prop her up once her support had vanished. “I need a favour,” I asked as I dressed, watching her face for a reaction as I stepped into my jeans.

Her perfectly trimmed brow lifted suspiciously as she sensed my vindictiveness brewing. “Will I like this favour?”

I gave her a smug grin, my eyes firing wildly with excitement as she narrowed hers on me. “Oh, yeah. Retribution, Cass. For both of us.”

She tipped her head and studied me before turning to the mirror and reapplying the scarlet paint to her lips, “I gather this is about, Tate?” She asked as she trained her eyes on me in the mirror, her reflection just as eager for revenge as mine.

I snorted and stood behind her, sliding my arms over her shoulders and running the tip of my nose along the nape of her neck. “You know me so well, sweetheart.”

Her lips pursed as her bitch came out to play.

15
^th
January 2014

Frankie

I smiled to myself as I felt his hand slide between my thighs and a finger glide smoothly inside me. My back arched at the pleasure as Tate slowly finger fucked me from behind.

It was morning, I thought so anyway; time had gone to pot, hours merging into days and days merging into what felt like weeks. We were covered by the sheet as I kept an eye on the window.

“You wanna try for a slow fuck this morning, see if I can still make you come as hard?”

I sighed contently as another finger joined the first and he swept against my inner walls, teasing and tempting my pleasure. “You can certainly try, I’m not complaining.”

He chuckled behind me as he flicked at my clit with his thumb and a shot of heat coursed through me, my nipples peaking on my heavy breasts. “Play with your tits, babe.” I whimpered and lifted my hands instantly, bowing to his command as he rested his chin on my shoulder and watched me pull and roll my nipples between my fingers. “Such pretty fucking tits, they drive me wild. Make my dick hard and pleading.”

His dirty mouth was my undoing, the need in the tone made me feel sexy and desirable; in fact Tate made me feel that way, whether he was silent and just staring at me with a heated gaze or whether his lips were spewing filth. “You know your wet cunt is drenching my hand. You’re such a hot bitch, your pussy is always eager for more.”

“My pussy’s always eager for you,” I moaned as he pushed his fingers harder into me. “It needs your cock in it.”

“Does it now?” he questioned as his lips worked across my shoulder, his teeth nipping and grazing as he tasted and nibbled me. “Someone is ravenous this morning.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Mmmm,” he mumbled as he slipped his fingers out and moved them behind me, sliding the tip between the crease of my buttocks. “And what if I want hors d'oeuvre’s first?”

“Well that depends on how hungry you are.” I gasped as he slid a finger in my anus and another in my pussy, his fingers spread across the length of me as he twisted his hand and pressed against my clit with his thumb. “Fuck, fuck!”