Fragile Truths (4 page)

Warm air rushed at me and twisted my stomach further, my throat now scorching as I tried hopelessly to hold everything back until I found somewhere safe.

I scanned the area quickly, trying to find a shop doorway or even a damn litter bin but all I found was an alley down the side of the building.

I nearly wept with relief when I spotted the huge industrial bins and scurried between them, my body bending forcefully as I bent and vomited with a serious fury, my heaves loud and harsh in the silence that was now surrounding me.

“Too late, Bubba!”

“Too late, Bubba!”

Tate

Jude lifted an eyebrow and shook his head in distaste as we watched the blonde throw her drunken guts down the side of one of the bins. “The binmen will love that deposit!” he chuckled.

I sighed and gave him a small nod as I blew out the smoke from my lungs and watched the curl rise above me. I could feel Jude’s uneasiness beside me and I glanced at him, narrowing my eyes and exposing to him I knew he wanted, or even needed to talk. “What’s up?”

He continued to watch the girl heave but I knew he wasn’t really seeing her; he was fighting with some sort of internal argument in his head, the small tic that twitched in his cheek gave away his mental dilemma as usual.

“Are you still pussying about Giorgio?”

He shrugged and pulled a long drag of his own smoke, “Something’s not right, Tate. I can’t put my finger on what, but I know…”

“You know shit. Don’t involve yourself in Pop’s quarrels; it’ll end up in tears…” I cocked my head and decided to rephrase, “or worse… pain.”

His tongue drew patterns on the inside of his cheek, the tip pushing ridges under the tight skin as he shook his head. “I’m telling you, I don’t like it.”

I shrugged this time and turned to watch the girl as she tried to push herself up the wall with the palms of her hands but dropped again and threw up once more, her spew spraying the wall. I squinted at her as the whitewashed wall was suddenly decorated in a modern art canvas of red dashes and splashes.

“Whoa!”

“Shit!” Jude grumbled as he dropped his smoke to the floor and rushed over to her.

“Hey, you okay?”

She shook her head rapidly as she retched, “Leave me alone.”

She flapped her hands at Jude, warning him to move away. He put his hands in surrender, “Calm down, tiger. You need help, you’re throwing up blood. Let me call an ambulance.”

“No!”

I frowned in annoyance at her arrogance as I stepped in beside Jude and looked down at her. Her face was covered by long blonde hair and I reached in to pull it out of the way so she wouldn’t coat it with her stomach contents. She kept glancing towards the end of the alley and I turned to see what she was looking at but nothing jumped out or grabbed my attention. “Look darlin’, my brother’s right, you need help.”

She shook her head again and this time she stood upright as I heard a clop of heels running down the alley towards us. “Shit, what’s happened?” The new girl, obviously Blondie’s friend asked as she skidded to a stop beside her and peered into her face with worried eyes.

“Dunno, she just started spewing her guts up. I think she’s just ripped the veins in her throat cos’ she was really going for it. How much has she supped?” Jude inquired as I turned back to the girl and watched her eyes frantically continue to scan the area.

Something about her made my body shiver, a light tingling seemed to flow through my blood and I shook my head at myself, rolling my eyes. God knows what Jude had put in the joints this time.

The brunette brushed her friend’s hair out of her face as she scrutinised her, “Are you okay, babe?”

“I need to go home, Mags. Please.”

Her pleading tone was sending warning signals through me. She was practically shivering with what appeared to be fright but she grabbed her friend’s arms and nearly shook her until her head wobbled, “MAGS! Get me home!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she barked at Blondie, then softened her gaze and reached in to cup her face gently. “Is it Jarod? Has that bastard been in touch?”

Blondie shook her head and once again glanced to the main road, “No, no. Mags please.” She pulled at her, trying to make her follow but she stood her ground and defied her friend.

“Babe, please let’s just call an ambulance. You shouldn’t spew up blood like that.”

“Oh forget it!” Blondie shouted at her as she pulled her hair behind her then spun on her heels and made for the road.

The light from the exit door of the club caught the side of her as she spun… And then my blood roared instead of tingled. My hairs stood on end and reached out, each one snapping to attention as if they’d been dunked in ice. My heart thundered violently against my ribcage, demanding an opening and a way out but something else inside me cried out, the intense upsurge in my body was physically painful. A torturous inner turmoil was battling inside me as though a conflict was breaking out under my skin and bones, its brutality making my knees shudder and my legs tremble.

“Tate?”

I could hear the faint hum of Jude’s voice somewhere around me but all I could focus on was Blondie’s pale thin neck and the arrangement of moles below her ear.

“Capella.” I whispered after her as I watched her disappear around the corner of the building.

“What?” Jude probed as he bent into me and peered at my face with a look of bewilderment. “What?”

I couldn’t move. My body was in lockdown along with my breath. My heart was beating so wildly I thought I was going into cardiac arrest. My blood was racing around my body with the vigorous pulses my heart was driving it with and my soul - my soul was trying to hold onto the guest soul I had housed for her for the last nine years.

I turned my head and stared at Jude, anger at losing her once more raging inside me as I grabbed the tops of his arms forcefully and he winced at the tight hold. “Frankie,” I breathed.

He shook his head rapidly and squinted, “Dude, what the fuck are you on about?”

I swallowed and released him when I realised how hard I was holding onto him. I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip in anger, “Frankie, my Capella.”

He rolled his eyes and turned away from me, “I seriously think you need to stay off the weed, Tate.”

I watched him disappear through the side door and go inside but I still couldn’t move. It was her. It had been her. Nine years I had waited for her and my stubborn body had refused to fucking move.

I had pussied out. I had been overwhelmed by the surprise and my brain hadn’t believed what my eyes had seen.

She had disappeared after that night in the dandelion field and no matter how much I had searched for her; it had been an impossible mission. I’d even asked my father about her but he had screamed and beaten me the second time I had asked so I hadn’t dared risk another inquisition about her.

She was back.

The soul I had kept nourished and fed for her had felt her, had even cried out for its owner. It was now sulking, I could feel its anger rumbling away hotly inside me as my own soul took charge once again and tried to soothe and calm it.

She was back.

The connection we had felt nine years ago was still there. Her presence soothed and agitated as it fired and pacified me simultaneously.

She was back.

I saw the darkness that still surrounded her, the pain that still agonised her spirit and tortured her mind but she was the most beautiful creature that had ever graced the ugliness of my life. Her beauty had not only been mesmerising, it had been astounding; her soft blonde hair had begged for my fingers to glide through it, her pretty pink lips had pleaded for the gentle touch of my own and her striking grey eyes had swept my heart into a frenzy, their intense deep pain beseeching for comfort and solace.

She was back.

My Capella had returned.

Frankie was once more in my life and I swore – no, I knew that I would find her. I would hunt for her; I would scour the depths of hell for her. There was no way I was losing her again. I needed her; I felt her solace as much as I knew she needed mine.

But I knew I could never be with her, could never touch her the way I wanted to. I could never give her the pleasure my body was eager if not hell-bent on giving her as I would never feel the softness of her lips on mine.

The path my life had taken was not for her. My existence was not worthy of her, she was pure and almost angelic, and me, well I was the devil.

As her blood was untainted, mine was sullied. Where her heart was whole, mine was shattered and blackened and her gentleness was as intense as my fury.

I would sacrifice my soul for just one touch of her, one taste of her beauty and I would die a thousand times over if I could just once bring a smile to her beautiful face.

She was the virtue.

I was the sin.

But I would repent. For her I would atone and be a slave to Hade’s himself, although I feared Hade’s was child’s play compared to The Shadows.

8
^th
January 2014

Frankie

I smiled up at the waiter as he placed my Cedar spiced salmon in front of me. Gray lifted an eyebrow when my stomach grumbled in appreciation to the smells that were tormenting it.

I shrugged and gave him a furtive look, “I’m starved.”

He glanced down at his own steak dish then over to my plate with a frown, “I’m sure I ordered the salmon.”

I shook my head at him, “No, you said you weren’t in the mood for fish.”

That was nothing new!

He narrowed his eyes but then conceded and picked up his fork, stabbing brutally at his meat to check the depth of its searing. Obviously happy with the degree of grilling he proceeded to cut a piece and then looked across at me. “So how’s the case going?”

I swallowed the lump of salmon that suddenly tasted a little unpleasant with the intense stare Gray was giving me and shifted my shoulders in preparation. “Good.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes still boring into me as I refused to shift under his intense scrutiny. “So, no come back on the evidence?”

“No, Gray.”

I watched as a flicker of irritation flashed behind his eyes. He dabbed his mouth with his napkin and leaned back in his chair, throwing his fork onto his plate and alerting the whole place to his anger.

“Gray, please let’s not do this again. It’s getting boring.”

He scoffed loudly and stared at my own napkin as I wiped my mouth and placed it beside my plate, my hunger suddenly evaporating under the furious glare I was soaking up from Gray. “I’m your damn Fiancé, and I work in the same bloody office. I just can’t understand what is so secretive.”

I sighed, hating the fact that I was once more explaining myself to my Fiancée, as well as my colleague. I leant across the table, unable to miss his swift glance down to my cleavage and I rolled my eyes. “You know why, Gray. Four years, four damn years I have worked to bring him down.”

He scowled at me and swiped his glass up from the table, taking a large gulp as he continued to sulk. “What the hell is your deal with this guy? I don’t understand it... I don’t understand
you
!”

I closed my eyes and rubbed at my forehead with my fingers, my despair with Gray’s relentless push driving me to a migraine. “It’s just how it is.”

“No Fran, how come Judge Harper gave you privilege?”

I was starting to get annoyed with his gruelling cross examination once again. “Because I bloody petitioned for it!”

I watched as his face reddened and his teeth sank into his lower lip as he tried to control his fury, “But why? It’s like… it’s like you have some personal vendetta against Knight.” He narrowed his eyes on me as I swallowed and sat back, “
Have
you got something personal going on, Fran? Because you know Harper will hide your arse for it.”

“Gray, listen to me. Harper gave the order for the evidence to remain in my care because of all the times Knight has either bribed or even murdered to save his own ass. I have a shot here, I have a chance of sending him down, somewhere he should have been years ago.”

“But we’re getting married. Why don’t you trust me?”

I softened as he looked at me with a hurt expression, his eyes low and almost fearful for me. I reached out and covered his hand with my own to pacify his pain, “It isn’t because I don’t trust you I won’t share the evidence with you, Gray. It’s because I care about you.”

He rolled his lips and sighed, “But… I’m worried about you Fran, if Knight finds out you have this, then…”

I shook my head firmly at him. “He doesn’t know, and he won’t find out. I’m fine, I’m safe. You know I can take care of myself.”

His face grew angry again as he stared at me with wide eyes and ran his hands through his perfectly styled hair. “Sweetheart, there is a difference between slapping your over friendly boss and taking on Don Knight. The man is the business, Fran. He won’t fuck about, he will hurt you.”

I nodded and lowered my eyes. “That’s why he must never know, because he will hurt the people close to me to get it from me.”

Gray made a funny gurgling noise and shot off his chair, his body above me imposing and broody as he scowled at me, “Excuse me.”

I groaned as I watched him stalk to the bathrooms. He was persistent; his constant motivation to find out where the evidence I had against Don Knight was hidden, was becoming exhausting and getting rather irritating.

What was it to him anyway? He wasn’t working this case with me and I couldn’t grasp what was worrying him so much. Something was prickling at my senses about it but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

My phone ringtone chimed from inside my bag and I pulled it out, smiling as my father’s face filled the screen “Hey, Daddy.”

“Pudding, you okay?” he asked, calling me by the nickname he had christened me with when I was five and had fallen into a huge bowl of trifle.