Fragmented (24 page)

When she awoke
, warmth surrounded her. A blanket had been placed loosely over her as she lay on her stomach. She had been dreaming. It was screams that had brought her back out of unconsciousness, but they weren’t hers. She tried to regain her senses. She moved her leg. It was heavy, caught on something. She reached down. She was shackled to the wall.

She sighed
; she couldn’t move. She heard screaming again—a girl, she guessed, from the inflection. Ghastly cries for help. Laughter came next, and echoed within the walls of her prison. She tried to move, but again pain engulfed her. She cried. Tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks. The realization that this was no dream overcame her. She was trapped in a never-ending nightmare.

* * * *

Cameron heard him approach once again and unconsciously shrank back against the dry wall along the bed’s edge. She had heard the stairs creak above her as he thumped down the stairs. The key clicked the lock and opened the door. She lay still, hoping against all hope he would ignore her.

He had come down to her prison in
an inconsistent manner. This was not the Greg she had known, but it had become obvious she had never known him.

Time was elusive. She had no idea how much time had elapsed. At times
, she felt as if she wasn’t going to make it. The pain throbbed from her back, her arm and down her legs. She had gone without food for an extended period. Then he appeared as if a small child.

His manner had changed. He was gentle and cared for her. He medicated her back with cream that eased the throbbing. Her arm regained feeling, but the use of it was limited.

This Greg fed her, cared for her, and clothed her in old flannel pajamas. Old-fashioned pajamas, ones she thought she remembered her mother wearing: two pieces, a V neck top with elastic waistband pants. It didn’t matter. They kept her warm.

Eager
to please her, this Greg tried to comfort Cameron. He sat next to her on the small cot, crowding her as if he couldn’t get close enough to her. Cameron wanted to screech for him not to touch her, but her gut feeling told her to swallow her scream if she wanted to live.

He laid down beside her, touching her, but not in a sexual way
—much like a young child would do to cuddle with his mother. She realized he didn’t want her mad at him, but wanted to be loved by her. After all he had done, he wanted a mother.

She whimpered in pain when he edged closer.

“Don’t,” she cried. She couldn’t control her instinct to recoil from him.

Immediately, she saw the hurt in his eyes. Gone
were the enraged eyes—replaced by the eyes of a terrified child.

“
Momma. It’s me, Greggie. He’s gone,” the voice pleaded, the voice of a ten-year-old child coming from a grown man. “I’m keeping watch. You sleep. I’ll take care of you.”

Cameron huddled against the bare wall. A fear lived within her. A young child’s voice poured from a grown man
—exuded from a grown man—but she was well aware that a brutal, murderous being lived within that body. Her eyes quickly turned back to Greg bending down by her bedside. She had to control the panic that was growing within her.

“
Momma, Momma,” he cried. “Are you okay? Be still. You’re hurt.”

Cameron couldn’t breathe. Her body screamed at her. Pain she could now feel throbbed through every inch of her body. Her back ached. Moving in the manner she did sent the pain through every nerve of her body.

“Momma, I told you not to move. Lay back down. I’ll get a cloth,” he said. His hands gently patted her shoulders. “Lay on your stomach, Momma. I’ll take care of you.”

Too frightened to challenge him, Cameron felt confused. For a moment, he rushed out. She didn’t question him, but she did what he told her
to and laid down on her stomach. He ran back in with a bowl in hand. He shut the door with the back of his foot and rushed over to her bedside.

“
I wish I could have stopped him sooner, Momma. He wouldn’t stop hitting you. I begged him to stop.”

Cameron swallowed hard. He was mad, insane. She stared at him. She had only one choice and that was to play along and pray he didn’t change back.
“It’s okay, Greggie.”

His hands reached down and pulled her nightshirt up over her shoulders. She couldn’t contain the tears of pain that emerged as he lifted the gown. The wounds had oozed and dried on the back of the nightshirt
, which peeled off as he lifted the gown. She bit back a scream of pain. She didn’t want him to react.

“
I’m sorry, Momma. I’ve tried to take care of them.”

He tenderly swabbed the marks that were left from the sting of the whip with medicine. He carefully doctored each wound. Squeezing the towel of the warm water, he wiped her back. She grimaced. He brought her another gown, freshly laundered.

“Not yet.” She spoke in a tone not much more than a whisper. She tried to smile. “It needs to dry before I change. Thank you.”

He returned her smile. She must have slept because when she opened her eyes
, he was sitting by her bed. He started humming a lullaby.

“
Greggie, sweetie, we need help. He’ll be back. I can’t protect us. I’m hurt, Greggie. I’m hurt bad. I don’t even know how long I’ve been out.”

He stood up
as if he didn’t hear a word she had said. “You’re hungry. I’ll go make something. Is cereal okay?”

“
Yes, yes, Greggie. But you need to call the police. Or give me the phone, I’ll call. They can help us. I promise. We need to call the police.”

“
I can’t, Momma. We don’t have a phone. He takes it with him.”

She sighed
. Frustration nearly overwhelmed her. She laid her head back down on the pillow. “How long? How long have I’ve been out?’

“
It doesn’t matter, Momma. What’s wrong? You’re not wanting to leave me?” His voice sounded alarmed.

“
Of course not. Not without you.” Her voice trailed off, hoping against all hope he wouldn’t pick up on her disappointment. Her life depended on it. She didn’t want him to revert back to the man who had inflicted the hurt upon her. She would never survive another attack.

* * * *

Cameron was frightened. Gone was the young child who had cared for her. She hadn’t seen Greg for a long time. She hungered. She had lived off the water from the shower. It was dark. She lived in that darkness. So she slept and…dreamed.

“
It’s not fair, Mom,” Cameron cried. She whipped her arm back and flung her glove down on the kitchen counter. Her dog, Max, ran around her in a circle, wagging his tail. She didn’t give the dog any attention. She was too upset. “I quit this stupid game.”

Her mother followed her in
, with her car keys still in her hand. She shrugged at her young daughter. “So that’s it. Your softball career is over at twelve.”

“
Well, what do you expect, Mom? You were there. You’re telling me that Dana did better than I did! And they took that girl from Hingham. Why, Mom? Because I’m better than Maddy. It’s just because she’s Coach Fontes’s daughter.”

Her mother waited a moment before she walked closer to her daughter. Cameron couldn’t contain her tears. Suddenly, her tears broke. She fell into her mother
’s arms.

With w
arm, caring arms, her mother held her close. Cameron wrapped her arms around her mother. Snuffling, Cameron questioned, “I don’t understand it, Mom. I thought I was better.”

Her mother rocked her gently.
“You did your best, Cameron. That’s all anyone can ask of you. Sometimes life isn’t fair. You can do all the right things and it still can kick you in the butt. But you have a choice here, my little one.”

“
What do you mean, Mom?”

Her mom lifted Cameron’s face up with her hand so she could look her in her eyes. She said in a firm voice,
“Either you can give up, quit like you said. Then they win. They get what they wanted— you to give up. Or you can work even harder, play even harder and make them wish they never let you go.”

“
But, Mom, they’re the best travel team in our area. I was on it last year. This year is going to be the worst. I can’t face Dana Monday morning. She’s never going to let me live it down.”

“
Don’t ever let anyone  make you feel you aren’t good enough. You have to have faith there is a reason for you to have to go through this. Maybe it’s to learn never to give up, no matter how bad it looks. Have faith, my darling. Have faith.” She hugged her daughter tightly. “Never forget. You are never alone, never alone.”

Cameron woke. She looked around
, desperately searching for her mother. The dream felt so real. Her mother seemed so real. She could even smell her fragrance. Oh, how she missed her mother! She wanted so desperately to be back in her mother’s arms. She wanted her mother to make everything right.

But her mother wasn’t here. She lay in a dark, black room…and cold…so terribly cold. She hadn’t wakened from a nightmare, but in
to one.

Shivering, she sat up. She wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. The dream was so vivid. She remembered the time so well. The time she didn’t make the Light
ning travel team. She had thought her softball career was over, but with her mother’s help, she worked out even harder, practiced and practiced.

The next year
, she didn’t even go out for the Lightning, but was invited by the Blaze to join their team, which was the best travel team in the state. She didn’t look back. She had even played third base in college. At that time, though, she thought there was no hope that she would ever play again. She wanted to give up, but her mother wouldn’t let her.

“
Mom, I need you so much. I’m not going to survive this,” she cried out in the darkness.

With the still of the room, she swore she heard her voice
.

“
Cameron, you can’t quit now. Fight with everything you have in you. Fight. You are not alone.”

“
Mom?”

“
You are not alone.”

* * * *

Cameron’s mind was playing tricks on her. She wasn’t certain whether she had dreamed her mother or not, but she held on to the hope she wasn’t alone. She had to believe; she had to hold to faith she hadn’t had in such a long time.

In the dark
, she sat and escaped through her dreams. She dreamed of her home, the ocean. She imagined walking on the beach with the waves washing over her feet, digging her toes into the sand. Max was there, running after his beloved ball…

And she dreamed of him. She didn’t want to think of Darren. It hurt. It was as if someone reached down and ripped her heart out of her chest. She had no one to blame but herself.

She had run from him. No, that wasn’t true…she had tried to run away from the reality that she was responsible for Matthew’s death…and the others’ deaths.

She had been mad that she had been used, but if she was honest with herself, she supposed she had known the truth. Logically
, as she lay in the cot, she saw their intent, but her heart wasn’t logical.

Darren hadn’t made any promises to her. He hadn’t said anything other than he wanted her, wanted to make love to her. Oh…how he could make love…and she dreamed of him…those few precious days. It was all she had left of that time…a remembrance.

If she closed her eyes tightly enough, she felt his arms about her, and then a little nibble on her neck. She smiled, remembering his kisses along her neck and the crazed sensation surging through her. She had melted with his touch.

She could still feel his touch. Did he think of her, she wondered, the way she thought of him? Guilt overwhelmed her. She wanted desperately for Darren to know it wasn’t his fault. She was hurt…they had used her. She could expect it out of everyone else, but with Darren it was different. She wasn’t in love with everyone else. She was in love with Darren.

Within the stillness of the gloomy darkness, again she heard voices.

“
C
ameron, Cameron, come back to me
.”

She was going as crazy as Greg. She swore she heard Darren calling for her.

* * * *

Lost in her dream world, Cameron jumped when she heard the door rattle. Immediately, fear swept through her. Her heart felt
as if it lodged in her throat. He had returned.

Stay in control. Be strong….don’t give in
to the panic. Focus!

She forgot all she had told herself the moment the door opened. The light flicked on from the outside switch. Squinting against the brightness, it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Then she saw Greg walk in.

He smiled at her. She recognized the smile. It was the Greg she had known…or thought she had. Dressed in an old T-shirt and jeans, he looked much like he always had. His hair had grown out somewhat, but he had shaved and appeared coherent…
appeared.

He carried a tray with him and sat it down on the far side of the room on
the table, along with his keys. He had brought food…bacon…she could smell it. Her stomach rumbled. She hadn’t realized how weak she had gotten from the lack of food. She could feel a knot bulging in her stomach.