Freddy the Politician (16 page)

“Stop!” she shouted. “There must be no fighting. We can settle our differences without that.” And then as both sides appeared to be willing at least to hear what she had to say, she began explaining about the votes.

But half-way through her explanation an outburst of barking and an angry screeching came from the loft, and then out through the air sailed Jinx. He landed on his feet beside Mrs. Wiggins, just as the two dogs, snarling and barking angrily, came tumbling down the stairs.

“He's got Freddy!” gasped Robert. “Threw Jinx out of the door and grabbed Freddy and tied him up!”

Just then Bertram came again to the upper door. “Be calm, my friends,” he roared. “The welfare of the F.A.R. is still in the hands of its duly elected president. An attempt upon my life, made by certain members of the Farmers' Party, who seem unwilling to abide by the results of our election, has happily been foiled. I have seized the chief conspirator, one Freddy, a pig, and am holding him as hostage for the good behavior of the others.”

A roar went up from the barnyard—of applause from one side, of anger from the other.

“But he can't do that!” exclaimed Emma. “Goodness me, it's—it's unheard of!”

“I dunno what Mr. Bean'd say to such goings-on,” said Hank. “'Fraid he'd be dreadful angry. Guess I'd better climb them stairs and reason with that bird. Though I dunno's I could get up 'em. Well, I can try.”

“Wait, Hank,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “Even a horse can't fight Bertram. He's strong as seven horses. We've got to get Grover out of Bertram some way. How did he ever learn to run him?”

“Why, I showed him,” said Ronald. “I've showed lots of the animals and birds. We never thought anything like this would happen.”

“Of course you didn't,” said Robert. “He even knows that the right arm does funny things, though, for Bertram didn't use it. He tied up Freddy with his left hand.”

“Well, we can't fight him,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “We'd better talk to Grover and see what he intends to do. Perhaps that will give us some idea of how to get him out of there.”

“I'll talk to him with a hoof in the middle of his tail-feathers,” said Hank angrily, and the others all looked at him in astonishment. For nobody had ever seen Hank really angry before, even under the most trying circumstances.

“We'll get you your chance,” said Mrs. Wiggins dryly. And then turning to the members of the Farmers' Party, she begged them to go quietly to their homes. “When I need you,” she said, “I'll send for you. I don't think it will be very long. But in the meanwhile go quietly about your business as you do every day, and above all don't quarrel with anyone on the other side. If we have to fight, we'll fight. But we'll let them start it, and then be ready for them. That's the best policy.”

XIV

The interview with Grover was not very satisfactory. In the first place, he insisted that they come up into the loft. “It is my office,” he said, “the White House from which I shall govern the F.A.R. If you want to see me, you must come up here. You can hardly expect the president to come to you.” And when they pointed out that Mrs. Wiggins could not get up the stairs, he merely remarked that that was too bad.

So Jinx, Robert, Charles, and Henrietta went up.

Grover was still in the control room of Bertram, who received them sitting in Uncle Ben's armchair, with his back to the long bench on which sat Simon and a number of the more important birds who had voted for him. Under the bench, tied tightly, was Freddy. And John Quincy and X sat on Bertram's shoulders.

“Before you begin,” said Grover, who had tuned down Bertram's microphone so that his voice was not much louder than it usually was, “I had better tell you what I intend to do. I know what you are going to say, but you don't know what I am going to say. So listen.

“I am the first president of the F.A.R., and I propose to govern the country. You are the heads of the party which opposed my election, and which still opposes it. I do not intend to be hampered in carrying out my plans for the F.A.R. by that opposition, and so I have seized one of you and intend to hold him as hostage for your good behavior. As president, I may point out, I have a perfect right to keep him in prison. As long as you behave yourselves and do as you are told, as long as you obey the laws which I shall pass, Freddy will be kept comfortable and happy. But if you plot against me, if you oppose my commands, he will suffer for it. Do I make myself clear?”

“You do, bug-eater, you do,” said Jinx flippantly. “But when you say you're president, you're talking through your hat. Or through Bertram's hat. Bertram's president, not you.”

“Have it your own way,” said Grover indifferently. “Bertram will punish you if you misbehave. And if you run away, he will punish Freddy.”

Jinx scowled for a moment at Bertram, who just sat there motionless, with his left arm resting on one arm of the chair and his right arm—the one that acted up when you tried to work it—hanging down straight over the other. It made Jinx feel queer. Ronald had always run Bertram, and Jinx and the other animals had got to think of the clockwork boy as a real person, and one whom they were fond of. But now he was different. He looked dangerous, and frightening. The woodpeckers, sitting motionless on his shoulders, made him seem strange, too. And the row of birds on the bench, among whom were several hawks and two long-legged, sword-billed herons, made him uncomfortable with their cold stares. Even his old enemy, Simon, whom he had never been afraid of, made him feel nervous.

He looked at his companions. “Nothing we can do now, I guess,” he said.

“No,” said Robert thoughtfully, “I guess not.”

But Henrietta said: “Maybe there's nothing we can do, but there's something I can say. Grover, you're making a fool of yourself. After all, you're nothing but a bird, and like all birds you're vain and silly and headstrong. Oh, I know! I'm a bird myself. You've heard the story about the woodpecker that got hold of the lion's tail and thought it was a worm? Well, that's you. But, as Jinx says, there's nothing we can do now. As a matter of fact, if we do nothing, that's enough. By and by the lion will turn around and bite off your head. Snap! And we'll all go on as we did before you came.”

“Thank you, Henrietta,” said Grover. “I will remember what you say. But there's one thing more before you go. I want you to know that you will have nothing to lose by behaving yourselves. The laws that will be made will be for your own good. You will be citizens of a greater country than you would ever have been under a president who was nothing but a yokel, like Mrs. Wiggins.”

A loud snort from the foot of the stairs made Jinx grin, in spite of his anxiety to get away. Evidently Mrs. Wiggins was listening downstairs.

As they turned to go, Simon said: “Mr. President, hadn't you better tell them yourself about the new orders? They may not believe me.”

“Very well,” said Grover. And then in a solemn voice he declaimed: “Order number one, issued by me, Grover, first president of the F.A.R. Whereas, certain of our citizens have sought redress from me for oppression and maltreatment suffered at the hands of certain other citizens;

“And whereas, their complaint setteth forth that they have been pursued, chased, ignominiously beaten, and deprived of their proper habitations and means of livelihood, and have been housed in miserable dens unfit for citizens of so great a republic;

“And whereas, the conditions as set forth in their complaint have upon investigation been found to be as stated;

“It is hereby ordered that these citizens, namely one Simon, a rat, and his wife, children, and dependents, to the number of twenty-one or more, be hereafter permitted freely to take up residence in any barn or building they may choose, to occupy said premises freely and without molestation under pain of fine and imprisonment;

“And it is further ordered that they be permitted freely, and without let or hindrance, to take for their own use such grain or other food as may be found in said buildings, to an amount not exceeding one peck per rat per day.”

Grover stopped and the animals looked at one another again, and Henrietta said: “Now say it all over in English.”

“I know what he means,” said Robert. “The rats can live in the barn and eat all the grain they want to.”

“Come on,” said Jinx suddenly. “Let's get out of here before I start chewing my own tail.” And he started for the stairs, followed by the others.

In the barn downstairs their friends were waiting for them.

“We heard it all,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “Robert, what's a yokel?”

“Search me,” said Robert. “But I don't think he meant it as a compliment.”

“No,” said the cow. “But he's afraid of me or he wouldn't call me names. That's what people always do when they're scared. Well, I'm scared, too, so that makes us even. I'm going home. I want to think. There's nothing we can do now. Grover's got the upper hand, and the thing to do for a while is to go on about our regular business as he told us to. At least we'll pretend to. If anybody thinks of a plan, talk it over with one or two others. We can't hold any big meetings, but we don't need 'em.”

“You're our president,” said Hank, “and we'll do as you say.” And the others all agreed.

That afternoon Grover made a tour of inspection of the farm. With John Quincy and X on his shoulders, Bertram strode rapidly in and out of buildings, and across fields, and through the woods, accompanied by the birds of his staff. The two herons, Eliphalet and Lemuel, whom he had appointed his bodyguard, kept beside him and menaced with their long bills any animals who approached too close. Everywhere he issued orders. Many of the animals who had opposed his election were given extra work, and some were even moved from their homes. Hank had to move out of the barn which had always been his home into the cowbarn, as Grover said the barn was to be used for government offices. Eek and Quik and Eeny and Cousin Augustus also had to leave the barn and move into a hollow tree. Mrs. Wogus and Mrs. Wurzburger were allowed to go about the farm as they always had, but Mrs. Wiggins, whom Grover considered one of his chief enemies, was forbidden to leave the cow-barn on pain of arrest. The chickens had to leave their comfortable chicken-house at ten minutes' notice and move down into the woods. The chicken-house, Grover said, was to be used as barracks for soldiers.

“Soldiers!” said Henrietta. “What are you going to do—start a war?”

“You'll find out,” said Grover. “Come. Pack up. You have ten minutes.”

And the chickens packed. All the other animals, too, did as they were ordered. It was all they could do, for none of them was strong enough to fight Bertram.

But with old Whibley, Grover struck his first snag. On the tour of inspection, Bertram stopped under the old beech tree and shouted: “Owls! Come out!”

After a minute old Whibley appeared at the entrance of his hole. “Bug-eater again,” he said. “Know that voice of yours anywhere. Stepped up with a microphone so it'll sound important. Like wearing high heels to make yourself look taller. Same voice. Little foolisher, if anything.”

“Be careful what you say, owl,” boomed Bertram. “I come to offer you peace.”

“Peace?” said old Whibley. “I can get peace by walking back into my house. Go away, woodpecker.”

“Listen,” said Bertram. “I am president of the F.A.R. The F.A.R.! A little hill farm, no bigger than half a dozen city blocks! Do you think I am satisfied to be president of a country like that? No! Tomorrow morning my armies will move against Zenas Witherspoon's farm, over the hill. If the Witherspoon animals agree to join the F.A.R., well and good. If they prefer to fight, it will, I assure you, be a very short war. We shall take them in. Then we shall march on the Macy farm, across the valley. And so on. Within three months every animal in New York State will be a citizen of the F.A.R. Within a year, or two at the most, I see a great republic of animals, stretching from coast to coast, a far-flung empire—”