Free Falling (9 page)

When we didn’t immediately die, I pulled my face away from
his back and looked over his shoulder. Then, before I knew what was happening,
it started to feel nice. The wind was blowing across my face again like when we
were running from Luke’s car. It was almost like flying. My heart slowed down
as my stomach got a little fluttery as the adrenalin started to flow through my
veins.

I grinned and pressed my mouth and nose into his shoulder to
make it easier to breathe, but I kept my eyes firmly forward as I wrapped my
arms tighter around his waist. This was my first time on a motorbike, and I had
to admit, I loved it. The fluid way that he mastered the bike and leant into
the corners, it was almost sexual, and for some reason I felt a little weird to
be doing this with him. This innocent ride home was actually sexy as hell.

Way too soon, he pulled into my street, slowing down and
eventually came to a stop outside of my house. I took a couple of deep breaths
as I pushed myself off of the bike. My legs were a little wobbly from the
vibrations of the journey, but even that was a gratifying feeling. I smiled and
pulled off his hoodie, handing it back to him, trying not to grin like an idiot
because the feeling riding on the bike caused in me. I didn’t want him to know
how much I enjoyed it because then he’d be smirking at me again.

“Thanks for the ride. Sorry again for almost killing you
earlier,” I said, wincing sheepishly.

He laughed and shook his head dismissively. “What’s a little
car accident between friends?” he joked. “You got keys, right?” He nodded
towards the house in prompt.

I nodded, knowing there was a spare key hidden under a rock
around the back of the house. “Yeah, thanks.” I looked at him, unsure what else
to say to this stranger than had just shown me an act of kindness and saved me
from a whole heap of trouble.

“No problem. Maybe I’ll see you around.” He gunned the
engine and his bike took off, roaring off up the road, leaving me standing
there in the cold, watching him ride off in a puff of black exhaust fumes.

As soon as I was on my own I started to think about Luke
again. Zach had taken my mind off of it for a little while, but as soon as he
rode off all I could think about was the betrayal that I felt in the pit of my
stomach and how my heart felt like it was physically aching. The thing that got
to me the most was the fact that I was actually worried about Luke. I’d left
him at the party, unable to stand, throwing up and alone. I hated myself for
still caring, but I did.

I gulped and forced myself to walk inside the house before I
broke down on the front lawn. Once in the solitude of my bedroom I closed my
door silently behind me. I didn’t want my parents to know I was home; I just
didn’t want to see anyone right now. I slumped down onto my bed, ignoring how
my bare feet put dirt smudges over the sheets. I pulled the covers up over my
head to muffle the sound, and then I sobbed my heart out for the guy who I
thought would love me forever. I sobbed for my lost future with him, I sobbed
for the time that I’d already wasted with him, I sobbed for the special things
that I gave him of myself, things I could never give anyone else: my first
kiss, my virginity. I just sobbed until the tears dried up and my chest hurt
from the effort.

I wanted sleep to come and take me so I could stop thinking
about it, but that didn’t happen. Instead, I laid there awake all night,
replaying everything good that happened between us, our plans, our memories. I
just laid there wondering when the exact moment was that I ceased to be enough
for him.

By the time morning came I felt a little dead inside. I
didn’t know what to think or feel. I’d had to turn my cell phone off during the
night because the constant ringing and buzzing had driven me crazy. I reached
over and grabbed it, turning it on again. The texts started coming through
immediately. Twenty-six in total, all from Luke. I deleted them all without
reading them, I didn’t want to know what he said, I didn’t want to hear his
apologies, they weren’t enough.

I unclasped my hand, stretching out my stiff fingers from
where they had been in the same position all night - wrapped tightly around my
locket that Luke had bought me. I couldn’t let go of it. During the night I’d
just laid there reading the inscription on the back over and over again. ‘True
love lasts for always. Yours forever, Luke’.
Yours forever.
The words
brought a sad smile to my face every time I read them. Obviously his idea of
forever and my idea of it were miles apart.

At just after ten in the morning there was a loud knocking
on the front door. I already knew it would be him. I looked around my room for
some sort of escape or somewhere to hide. I didn’t want to see him, not yet, I
couldn’t face it. Voices drifted up the stairs, belonging to my dad and Luke.
My dad was telling him that I wasn’t here, that I stayed at Charlotte’s, so
obviously I was quiet enough that they didn’t hear me come in last night.

I pushed myself out of the bed and crept to the door,
opening it quietly and peeking down the stairs, but staying back so I wouldn’t
be seen.

“Clay, she’s here! Please just let me go check her room,”
Luke begged desperately.

“What is going on? You look like crap, Luke,” Dad
questioned.

“Please can I just go check her room? I need to speak to
her,” Luke begged. His voice sounded so weak and sad that it made my knees
tremble. He was upset too, but I refused to feel guilty about it, this wasn’t
my fault.

My dad sighed in frustration. “Fine. Go see for yourself.”

I quickly pulled open my door and stepped out; I didn’t want
Luke in my room. “I don’t want to talk to him,” I said to my dad’s shocked
face. Immediately he put his arm across the bottom of the stairs, stopping Luke
from getting to me, even though he didn’t know why he was doing it or what was
going on. I really had the best dad in the world.

“Maisie, please! I’m sorry, please I’m so sorry, baby,” Luke
cried, his eyes full of anguish and pain.

I sniffed and shook my head, walking down the stairs to see
him better. My dad’s arm was now across Luke’s chest as Luke shoved and
thrashed trying to get to me. “It’s too late,” I whispered, stopping when I was
about three steps from the bottom.

His whole face fell. “No! It’s not too late, don’t say that.
I didn’t know what I was doing; someone put something in my drink last night.
You know I would never cheat on you! You know me!” He looked at me desperately,
his whole posture just looked crushed, and I wanted to wrap my arms around his
neck and comfort him, but I just couldn’t move my feet from the step I was on.
I needed to stay strong; the relationship obviously wasn’t what I thought it
was if it meant that little to him that he would forget me for a quickie at a
party. Drunk or stoned, you just didn’t do that to someone who you love.

My dad was looking between the two of us, a shocked and
confused expression on his face. “You broke up?” he asked incredulously.

Both Luke and I ignored him, our gazes locked on each other;
he was begging me with his eyes. “It’s not too late; please tell me that,
Maisie. Please tell me I get another chance,” he croaked, still trying to push
my dad’s arm off of him so he could get to me.

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks again. “I’m
sorry, I can’t,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to speak properly.

“No! I won’t give up on us, Maisie. I won’t!” Luke shouted
wildly. I flinched, and my dad shoved Luke back a step towards the door.
“Someone put something in my drink! I swear to you, I didn’t even really know
what I was doing, I swear!” He continued to thrash as my dad pushed him towards
the door. “I love you, baby.”

My breath caught in my throat at those words coming out of
his mouth, every time he said them to me they melted my heart, and this was no
exception, I still relished the sound of every single syllable.

“Just go,” I whispered. He was breaking my heart all over
again, seeing him just made everything came back, and the worst part was, the
thing that I could see in my head the clearest right now, was him naked on the
bed with another girl.

He dropped to his knees. “Please don’t do this.” His face
showed his heartbreak. For a split second I reconsidered. “You and I are meant
to be together, Maisie, you’re my everything. Please? Just please don’t give up
on us, because I never will,” he pleaded, not even bothering to wipe the tears
from his face.

A stair creaked behind me. “What’s happening? What’s with
all the shouting, some of us are sleeping off a hangover you know,” Alex
grumbled, slinging his arm around my shoulder, yawning in my ear. I turned to
face him and his whole posture stiffened, his jaw tightened. “What the fuck
have you done to my sister, Hannigan?” he shouted, letting his arm drop from my
shoulders as he stepped in front of me protectively.

“Just stay out of it, Alex!” Luke snapped, getting to his
feet again, trying to look around Alex, who was standing there like he was
guarding the crown jewels. “Maisie, let’s just go somewhere, let me explain,”
he suggested.

I shook my head in rejection. I just needed this meeting to
be over, I couldn’t see him anymore. I dug my fingers into Alex’s back. “I
don’t want to talk to you, Luke. Please just go,” I begged, nodding to the
door.

“Explain what? What have you done?” Alex asked, looking at
Luke angrily, his whole posture agitated and alert. He was going to go crazy
when he found out that Luke had cheated on me.

“Alex, it’s fine, just leave it,” I whispered, trying to
push him away from the protective stance he was in so that he’d look at me.

“My sister is standing here crying, it’s not freaking fine!”
he growled, shaking his head angrily. I had to smile at how overprotective he
was of me; Luke had some real guts to still be standing there in the hallway
because my dad looked like he was trying not to kill him too.

“Leave, Luke,” I ordered sternly. I didn’t want to see him
get hurt; I still loved him and I didn’t want to see him in pain.

His eyes tightened as they met mine. “Will you talk to me
later? If I give you some time, will you answer your phone later?” he asked,
looking at me pleadingly.

I needed to get him out of here before Alex found out what
happened. It surprised me that he hadn’t already heard considering we were at
the same party last night. Then again, he was probably too busy sleeping with
some girl to notice what was going on around him.

I nodded. “I just can’t deal with this right now. Please
just leave,” I said quietly. Luke opened his mouth to protest, but I shook my
head, cutting him off. “For me, just leave?” I begged. I just couldn’t deal
with anymore right now, I needed to go back to bed and try to sleep, because my
head was pounding, a migraine was building up behind my eyes that was making me
feel dizzy.

He nodded and looked at the floor, his shoulders slumped. He
was literally the picture of sorrow. “I love you, baby,” he whispered as he
turned and walked out of the door.

As soon as he was gone my dad slammed the door. “What the
hell happened? You two broke up? I always just thought you would end up
together,” he mumbled, looking at me slightly confused.

“Yeah we broke up; I don’t want to talk about it.” I turned
towards my brother. “And you, you leave him alone, you hear me? If you hurt him
I swear, Alex, I’m hurting you right back, get it?” I said looking at him
sternly.

He frowned at me as his jaw tightened. “Just answer me this,
did he cheat or something? He was wasted at the party last night, I left fairly
early and someone said that you’d already left. I just assumed you went home
with Luke,” his eyes flicked to my dad quickly as he carried on speaking, “I
meant Charlotte, that you went home with Charlotte,” he amended. 

I sighed, knowing that I needed to tell him the truth; my
humiliation would be all around the school Monday anyway. “Yeah, he did. I just
don’t want to talk about it right now. Just leave him alone though, okay?” He
sighed deeply. He clearly didn’t like the idea of it, but he nodded somewhat
reluctantly. “Thanks. I’m going back to bed, I didn’t sleep well last night and
I have a killer headache.” I smiled weakly, trying to get them to stop worrying
about me as much.

“Want me to send Mom up?” Dad offered, rubbing my back
lightly.

I shook my head. “No, I just want to be on my own for a
little while.”

As it turns out, the ‘little while’ that I wanted to be on my
own for, turned into a fairly long while. I didn’t leave my bedroom for the
rest of the weekend. I just sat there at my desk or on my bed, crying or
thinking about Luke and what I wanted. He tried to call me again, but I still
couldn’t speak to him. I answered and spoke to him for just long enough to tell
him where I left his car and that I may have ran a couple of red lights. I
didn’t mention the windshield.

I didn’t leave my room, didn’t get dressed, didn’t want to
speak to my friends, I didn’t even eat. I was the definition of sad. If you
looked up sad, pathetic, and heartbroken in the dictionary, there would be a
picture of me next to all three of them.

I laid awake all of Sunday night, just dreading Monday. At
home I had Alex and my dad to tell Luke to leave when he came to the door -
which he did on more than one occasion - but at school I knew I would have to
speak to him. Even just getting to school was going to be different, Luke
always picked me up, and now I was going to be arriving with Alex. It was kind
of like the end of an era.

As I stepped out of the door on Monday morning with Alex, I
didn’t expect to see Luke’s Jeep parked there, and him to be leaning on the
side of it, holding a bunch of daisies and a bag of Hershey’s Kisses. He smiled
weakly at me as I walked up the drive.