Free Verse (16 page)

But nobody in this town is safe. Doesn't matter if you mine coal or don't. You can fight a fire. You can be nine years old. I think about my last words to Michael and how they were probably “Later!” or “After a while!” I think about telling Mikey, “I'll catch up!” Before Ben left for his night shift, and when Judy put me to bed, I probably told each of them I'd see them in the morning. None of those things turned out to be true.

When Hubert says good night that evening, I don't say it
back.

POETRY NEWSLETTER

I print the first one

and I tape it in my book.

I don't email back.

ONE

I had a friend once.

We spent our days on the porch.

Now I'm alone here.

QUIET

I do not talk now.

I do not talk to people.

I do not have words.

IF

If Ben and Judy

were here right now, I would not

say a word to them.

THE MISSING MINERS

Shirley's TV says

they're still looking for bodies.

Oh God, I forgot.

IN OTHER NEWS

Shirley's TV says

they're still looking for Mikey.

It's coming Week Five.

AND NOW FOR THE WEATHER

Shirley's TV says

it's the perfect summer day.

Enjoy yourself, folks!

THE DAY THEY FIND THE MINERS

All the major stations show

the weeping and the flowers.

Then the weatherman arrives

to speak of summer showers.

“FILL THE MINER'S HAT” DONATION STATION

Signs go up at Save-Great:

“If you can, please give!”

I don't know who the money's for.

Nobody lived.

MIKEY

We do look for him, but we don't feel

like we will ever find him. Still,

this is not something we say out loud.

We keep silent. That's our deal.

FUNERALS

Hubert doesn't go to work

and he doesn't go pay his respects.

Shirley nags and nags at him.

I don't know what she expects.

SUMMERS PAST

This time last year, I dozed upside down on the couch

with my feet on the wall and my head on the floor.

Summer day after summer day dripped by like lemonade.

I complained and complained, “Michael, I'm bored!”

I'M GLAD IT'S SUMMER

Who could sit at a desk on a day like this?

Who could focus on pages through this beam of sun?

Full of anger, hope, and fear,

I am faced with a choice: hold fast or run?

ELSEWHERE

This road in front of Hubert's house,

empty in the evening light,

leads to a two-lane that leads to a highway,

goes places I've never seen, but might.

CAUGHT

Lights flash,

sirens bleat,

I get caught

on Main Street.

CLOSE SUPERVISION

Hubert and Shirley

come out of their haze.

They watch me closer

for all of three days.

Sasha.

She's lost.

She walks along,

looking up at clouds,

quiet.

Anger,

pointless, nauseous,

waits in shadow

like an evil spirit.

Always.

WHAT FAMILY DOES

Leave.

They do.

They all do.

That's what I know

now.

MIKEY

Kid,

lost, alone,

went somewhere else.

Hope we find him

soon.

Dear Judy,

I walked to the Burger Bargain today.

The whole place smelled like onions.

The ladies there can cut onions without crying,

knives slashing down, whacking on the

chopped-up cutting board.

Bam! Like a baby falling from her chair.

Wham! Like a car door slamming.

I sort of wonder if

the day you figured out you were able

to slice into onions without crying

was the day you decided

it was okay

to leave.

Dear Ben,

I remember the little things

about you, like your dirty fingernails,

your card games on the coffee table,

the way you spread your dinner to the

edges of your plate to make it look

like you took more when you really

left the most for us.

I've forgotten other things about you,

like the words you choose, and if you like poems,

and the meter and rhyme and rhythm

of your voice.

Dear Mikey,

I guess I sort of understand why

you haven't come back yet.

If I had me for a cousin,

I might not think about

coming back, either.

Still.

Maybe you'll change your mind someday?

Maybe you'll change your mind today?

Dear City Planners,

I don't get

why you picked

this exact rock

in this exact valley.

Had a squirrel already claimed

all the other rocks

in all the other valleys?

Dear Dr. Shaw,

Mr. Powell swears

you know your stuff,

even though you give names

to things that should have

other names.

You call it “depression.”

You call it “anxiety.”

I call it “Look what happened.”

I call it “Everybody leaves.”

You send me home

with orange bottles

that rattle in the console

of Hubert's old truck

on the quiet, quiet, quiet

ride back.

This medicine

is not going to help

unless it can bring back

the missing

and what Pastor Ramey calls

the “gone home.”

Dear Michael,

Dear Shirley,

I wish you would lay off

the stupid apples already.

Also, why must you

stomp through the living room

at six thirty a.m. on a Saturday?

Can't you tell I'm sleeping?

Dear Michael,

Dear Anthony,

It was nice the way

you started to walk over to me

on the final day of school

like you wanted to say something.

It was nice, too, that you stopped

and turned away.

I might have cried.

I might have spoken.

See you in August.

Dear Michael.

ONLINE

Shirley sits on her blue chair,

but she doesn't notice who's around her,

nor does she care.

FRAGILE

There is peace in this dwelling

as long as we don't discuss Mikey.

If we do, there is yelling.

HOW JULY FELT

Bug-loud days

loomed wide open, filled me with panic.

I'm not okay.

IF I DON'T WRITE

The line between calm and not gets blurry.

I shake and get lost in my head.

I breathe quick and I worry.

MAKING HUBERT MAD

I stayed at the grocery store too long.

Hubert thought I was someplace else,

but he was wrong.

THIS PLACE

Michael wanted to leave so bad

that staying never felt possible.

I wonder how I'd feel if it had.

GRACE DANIELS,

wife of miner Barry Daniels,

waits with other family members

outside a southern West Virginia

elementary school.

NOT

intended as a substitute

for medical care. Consult

a physician if symptoms

persist.

FOUNDED

by Hat Casswell

in 1843, the town

of Caboose predates

the state of West

Virginia.

MISSING

since May.

Last seen in

Alley Rush

wearing

blue T-shirt

and stonewashed

(nuh-uh, just faded)

jeans

(and an innocent face).

START OF AUGUST

with

record highs

        (and new lows)