Freefall (Santa Cruz Skydivers Book 1) (22 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Andi

I parked my Jeep on the street not far from the front of Levi’s building. On street parking was going to cost me, but it was worth every penny to get to spend the night with him. Family dinner night was...well...a colossal fuck up. Tony wasn’t talking to me, and vice versa. Bobby and Mike wisely decided to stay well out of it. Mom was in tears for most of the night, Papa went to bed early, and if it weren’t for cute little Stella, I would have left after Levi. I’d had enough of this family trying to micromanage and control my life. They didn’t understand the repercussions of their behaviors on my emotions. I was at rock bottom. Having not taken my meds for the past two days was perhaps not such as great idea, especially being around them. The meds always numbed me, but when I was with Levi, I didn’t need them. He made me want to exist.

After putting some money in the parking meter, I approached his building. Nervous as all hell, I pulled out my cell phone to call him and let him know I had arrived. What if he had changed his mind about us after the fiasco of meeting my family? I tried not to entertain that thought, although that was always going to be a possibility.

A doorman waited at the front of the luxury condo complex. Too nervous to go inside, I paced the sidewalk and kept back near the road, waiting for him to answer. After five rings, it went to voicemail.

“
Hey, this is Levi. Leave a message
.”

Shit, now what? I shot him a text and tried his number again. Still no answer.

My chest tightened and my hands started shaking. My anxiety level was rising, and without medication, I was unsure of how I would end up. I didn’t like how this was going down. This wasn’t in my plans for this evening. Time to man up and take action.

I swallowed hard and looked to the doorman, wondering if he could call up to Levi. That’s what these guys did, wasn’t it? Before I had even taken a step, behind him, Taylor strutted her way out the building, dressed scantily in a piece of material that was so revealing her enhanced boobs were busting out and her vagina was barely covered. It screamed slut. It suited her perfectly.

Why was she even here? Unable to control the shake in my hands, I shoved them into my pockets. I tried to force myself to go back to the security of the Jeep, only my legs couldn’t move. They had grown roots. She smiled at the doorman, giving him a well-rehearsed public face, a look dripping in sugar sweet. As she passed him, she flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder and gave him another look that I swear would have made him come in his pants. Then, as luck would have it, she walked, hips swinging, to the exact spot where I happened to be rooted to the ground in fear, and turned her sickly sweet smile onto me. Bitch. I hated her with a passion.

“You’re Andi, aren’t you?” Her accent was as fake as her boobs. “LJ told me all about you.”

“Yes, I’m Andi,” I said, displaying bravado I didn’t feel. “May I ask what Levi has been saying about me?” You know the saying about the curious cat? I shouldn’t have asked.

She laughed. “Oh, just silly stuff. He told me about the little crush you have on him.”

Bravado was officially thrown out the window. “He, umm, he said that?”

She patted my forearm. “LJ and I have history that you and he will never have or understand. We go way back.”

“I know you were a couple, but he told me you guys we through. He told me you hurt him.”

Her eyes watered. “Yes, I did, and I will never forgive myself for that. But, he and I have been talking, and we’ve decided to give ‘us’ another chance.”

“You’re back together? But, I thought he and I were...”

“A couple? Oh, you poor thing. I can’t believe he led you on like that. Did you think one round in the sack with him meant you were exclusive?”

“I...he...we,” I stuttered.

She shook her head and pouted her lips. “No. No you’re not. You honestly think he would choose you over me?”

I couldn’t talk. I knew the answer to that question. Deep down, I had always known. I was nothing.

“Well?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.

“You’re right,” I said, defeated. I needed to leave before I lost my shit. “Listen, if he asks about me, tell him I said thanks for the weekend. Tell him I had a great time.”

“
If
he asks... But I don’t think he will.” She flicked back that fucking blonde mane of hers. “We’ve got more important things to do than talk about you.”

Again, she was right. He wouldn’t talk about me. Why would he even give me another thought?

With nothing more to say, I turned on my heel and walked away, just as my heart shattered into a million pieces. My chest literally caved inwards in pain and tears started to stream down my face. There was no way I wanted that bitch to see how hurt I was. I wouldn’t give her that satisfaction.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Levi

“
Answer the damn phone.” I paced the condo back and forth, wearing a path in the thick shag pile carpet.

“
Hi, it’s Andi. You know the drill, leave a message after the tone. Ciao
.” Beep.

“Andi, call me.” I pressed the red end call button and opened up the text message folder on my smart phone.

Andi, call me.

Green button, and send. The message went off with a swoosh. I scrolled through the other five messages I had just sent to her, checking in case a message had come through. Nope. All me.

Fuck. I was starting to get worried. It had been half an hour since I missed her call, and I hadn’t managed to get in touch with her. Again, I pressed the redial button, waited, but again, she didn’t pick up.

Voicemail. Beep.

“Andi, it’s Levi. Sorry I missed your call, something unavoidable came up. Please call me. I’m getting worried. Bye.”

I sent another text.

Andi, it’s Levi. Please call me. I’m getting worried. xx

I waited and paced. Nothing. Paced some more. Five minutes later...redial.

Voicemail. Beep.

“Fuck, Andi, I’m wigging out here. Call me.”

Time for action. Text.

Andi. RU OK? I’m coming over.

I waited... Blue dots. Blue dots were good.

Don’t come.

Why? Is everything ok with ur fam?

Yes.

Then what? Tell me. I don’t understand what’s going on.

Taylor. That’s what.

Fuck. Redial. Voicemail. Beep. Red button. Text.

Talk to me. Please.

I can’t.

I’m coming over.

Like a Christmas miracle in September, my phone rang. Andi’s number came up on the screen. Immediately, I pressed the green button.

“Andi...”

“It’s not Andi, you lying douchebag, it’s Lili. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

My gut was churning. “Why?”

“As if you don’t know. She saw her, you fucking creep. Andi came to your apartment after she ditched her family to be with you. She saw that bitch Taylor leave your apartment, looking like a fucking a hooker.”

I felt like hitting something. “Let me talk to Andi. It’s not what it looks like.”

“Well, genius, there’s more...and here’s the deal breaker. The slut told Andi you two are back on.”

I exploded. “She what? I’m coming over.”

“Don’t bother, princess. She’s just left. She’s gone to her parents’ for the night. And if I were you, I’d stay the fuck away from there. Tony already has it in for you. Andi told me everything. Your life won’t be worth living if you go there again.”

Without Andi, it wasn’t. “Taylor is lying. Look, it’s a long story, but if Andi won’t talk to me, I’ll tell you. Taylor wants me back, and I said no. She was already at my condo when I got home...and I literally threw her out. I can only assume she saw Andi outside and told her a pack of bullshit lies to break us up.”

There was silence. “Is this true?”

“Why would I lie? Think about it, Lili. If I wanted to be with Taylor, why would I string along Andi?”

“I don’t know. As a back up?”

“Is that the best explanation you can come up with? Lili, please, I’m begging you, if I can’t go to see her, get her to call me.”

“Okay, I’ll call her at her parents’. Don’t call her number again. She’s left her cell with me, and I won’t answer,” she said with finality, and hung up.

And then, after holding it back for days, I finally did it. I put my fist through the dry wall.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Andi

“Is that true? Do you think that’s what really happened?” I asked Lili over the cordless hand phone on my parents’ landline. I’d holed myself up in my old bedroom with the door firmly locked. I didn’t need any parental interruptions.

“To be honest, I really don’t know if he’s telling the truth,” she said. “He sounded genuine enough. But I don’t know him, and you’ve only just met him. Do you really want to be mixed up in this? Andi, this is Taylor freaking Lawson! Do you think she’ll give him up so easily?”

“Yes...no, oh I don’t fucking know, Lili.” I dropped my face into my hand. He was worth fighting for. No matter what anyone said—Lili, Tony, or my parents—I knew him. I had always known him. Well, I thought I did. “What would you do in this situation? I mean, you’re still trying to get Scotty back. How is this any different?”

“The difference is Scotty and I have history. You and Levi don’t.”

“I know you don’t believe in this stuff, but we have a connection. Levi feels the same way.”

“He actually said that to you?” she asked.

“I swear he said it.”

“Wow, okay. This changes things. Does he really mean that much to you?” she asked.

“Yes,” I whispered, my voice catching. “I love him.”

“Then call him. But you need to make him beg for forgiveness. In my opinion, he’s obviously keeping stuff from you. Relationships are based on trust and honesty.” She laughed lightly. “It sounds ironic, doesn’t it, coming from me?”

“You’ve learned some hard lessons too this weekend,” I said. “Hey, I just had an idea. Call Scotty from my cell. He might answer if he doesn’t think it’s you.”

“Great idea,” she chirped. “Thanks. And good luck.”

“Same to you,” I told her, and hung up the phone.

I stared at the phone in my hand like it was about to explode. My hand started shaking as I dialed his number on the keypad, his cell phone number committed to my memory.

“Hello. Andi?” His voice was full of hope.

My throat constricted. I couldn’t talk, I just hummed.

“Don’t talk. Let me explain.” His words tumbled out over each other. “She came here, but I kicked her out. I don’t want her, Andi. It’s you I want. Just you.”

Hot tears slid down my face. “Just give me a second,” I said, my voice dangerously unstable. After a couple of deep, ragged breaths, I had composed myself enough to talk. “I want to believe you, only Taylor told me you were back together. She said you told her all about me.”

“That’s the first truth that has come out of her mouth in years,” he said. “I did tell her all about you. I told her how special you were to me, and how I was with you. And then I kicked her out.”

The sides of my mouth lifted ever so slightly. “You did?”

“Yes, and I told her to never come back. She’s a vindictive bitch. Don’t listen to her.”

“Okay.”

“So do you believe me?” he asked.

“I want to,” I said, still unsure.

“What does your gut say?”

“It says that you’re telling the truth, but the things she said, though, Levi, they really hurt.”

“She is a nasty piece of work.”

“She wasn’t just nasty. Her words had truth. She said you guys have a past, and you do. She knows things about you that I don’t.”

“You’re right. But what I have with her is history. Ancient history. Please come over. I need to see you and make everything better. I’ll tell you everything plus more, and then we can start our own memories, tonight.”

I smiled at his proposition. “That sounds wonderful. But, not tonight. I’m too drained. It’s been a huge weekend. I just want to sleep here tonight, at my parents’ house.” Despite my room looking like a pink unicorn had thrown up rainbows and candyfloss up in it. I was pretty sure it hadn’t been redecorated since I was twelve.

“I understand,” he replied, sounding deflated. “We can still talk, if you want to. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

I smiled. He was making an effort. “I’d love to.”

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Tell me something personal about you. I feel like I know you, yet I don’t really.”

“Okay. I’ll start with the big one.” He exhaled loudly into the phone, and paused before talking again. “My mom died of a prescription pill overdose. She suffered from extreme depression, and one day, I guess she’d decided she’d had enough and swallowed a bunch of pills and left me. Just like that.”

I teared up again. “Oh, Levi, I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug right now.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said quietly.

“It means a lot to me that you’d share that. I know you still miss her.”

“Every day.” He sounded just like that little lost boy in the department store. “I wish there was something I could have done to stop her, or said to make her change her mind. But I didn’t. She needed me, and I failed her when she needed me the most.”

“You can’t blame yourself. Believe me. As much as you can try, sometimes, the people that need saving don’t really want saving. You were only in high school and I’m sure she hadn’t even told you about the depths of her depression. If you had known, you would have tried everything you could have done to save her from herself. Am I making sense?”

“Yeah, you are,” he said. “She hid her depression from me. What kills me, though, is I should have known. I knew she had never recovered from the rejection of my father. She loved him, and he cheated on her and then dumped her while she was pregnant with me.” 

“Stop beating yourself up for something you had no control over.” Suddenly, I felt a real closeness with Levi’s mom. Rejection hurt. I’d felt that first hand. “I know she loved you...and knew that you loved her, too.”

“She did, on both counts.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Okay, that’s enough deep and meaningful shit for the night. I’m going to shower and hit the bed. I’m pretty beat myself. Work called in before and I’ve got a couple of jumps scheduled early tomorrow. Thanks for the talk, Andi. So...I need to know. Do you believe me about Taylor?”

“Yes,” I said, now smiling.

“Will I still see you tomorrow? After you finish work?” He sounded unsure. “We can pick up where we left off.”

“I’ll come straight to your place after work,” I replied.

“That makes me happy.”

“Me too. Goodnight. And sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, Andi.”

****

My dreams that night were of Levi and the both of us on the back of his Harley, riding along a long, open highway. I didn’t need a dream diary or translation to tell me the meaning. It was like making up with Levi had repaired some broken wire, and put my life on track with him guiding me.

Even though I was not a morning person and never eat a decent breakfast, that morning I had breakfast with my parents. It was my way of a peace offering to them after the family dinner debacle. It wasn’t all happy family, though. There was still some tension. Yesterday had been the first time I had openly stood up for myself, so our truce was a little uneasy. Over pancakes and crispy bacon, they confided they weren’t angry with me, they were protecting me. I had to resist rolling my eyes at that one. Then they told me to take it slow with Levi. That time, I had to bite my tongue.

After I helped clear the breakfast table, I kissed them both goodbye and left for work with a little bounce in my step. There was no sign of my usual anxiety and depression as I exited my Jeep at work, and I practically floated to the staff door. Until I noticed a familiar tall and lanky body leaning up against the side of the building. I came crashing down.

Scotty pushed himself off the wall and walked to me, meeting me halfway.

I poked him hard in the chest. “Who the fuck do you think you are? What are you even doing here?”

“Andi, there’s something I need to show you.” His eyes were serious. He meant business.

I folded my arms across my chest. “I don’t want anything from you. You’ve broken Lili’s heart. I can’t believe you are so stupid to think I would still want to associate with you after what you’ve done to her.”

He ignored my comments and held out a folded up newspaper. “I think you will want to see this.”

I pushed his hand away. “I saw it already, thanks.”

He made me take the paper, shoving it into my hands. “This is today’s paper. I think you’ll be more interested in the front page than the social section.”

I raised my eyebrows quizzically. Unfolding the newspaper, I scanned the front page and felt my knees buckle. Instinctively, I reached out for his arm to steady myself.

“This...this can’t be true.” My voice shook. I had to know. “Read it to me.”

My vision blurred. The picture of Levi and Taylor joined at the lips on the front page of the
Bay Herald
had been permanently burnt into my retinas.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Just read me the fucking article, Scotty. You came all this way to break the story to me, now just read it.”

He cleared his throat as he prepared to read. I released my vise-grip on his arm and wrapped my arms around my waist, almost hyperventilating. I was overreacting. Being stupid. Levi was with me now, not her. It had to be an old photo.

“The caption says: Son of Publishing Giant Derek James Reunites with High School Sweetheart Taylor Lawson. Turn to page three for the real life Hollywood love story.” He paused and looked at me. I nodded at him to continue. He turned the page and continued to read.  “Levi James, son of Australian publishing giant Derek James, has refound love with his high school sweetheart and Tinseltown’s hottest commodity, Taylor Lawson. A source close to the
Bay Herald
told us of their reunion over the weekend.

“‘Levi couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off Taylor. It’s clear that they still love each other as much as when they first started dating in Sydney when they were in high school.’ Our source said they wanted to keep their reunion private, but as our photo shows, their secret Saturday rendezvous at The Wine Bar on the Santa Cruz pier is anything but. It’s also rumored, twenty-five-year-old Levi, who lives in the Santa Cruz area, is planning on proposing soon to Taylor.

“‘After four years apart, he’s realized how much he misses her. He doesn’t want to lose her again and can’t wait to settle down and make her Mrs. James. Taylor is ready to settle down with Levi and make Santa Cruz her new home. Taylor can’t wait to be a mom.’

“Taylor is currently on a break from filming the third installment of the Hollywood horror blockbuster franchise
Vampire Bites
. Taylor has also recently been made a patron for the Children’s Hospital in Santa Cruz.”

Scotty finished reading. “That’s all it says. There are some other photos of the two of them. Looks like they aren’t recent, though.”

My brain stopped functioning around the “ready to settle down” comment. Instantly, I regretted eating breakfast as my stomach clenched, threatening to spill its contents. I felt all color rush from my face and my body broke out in a cool sweat. Scotty looked at me, his mouth moving. I shook my head, unable to hear him through the white noise buzzing in my head. I opened my mouth to ask him to repeat his question, but no words came out. It was like the trauma had turned me into a selective deaf mute.

Scotty took control. Supporting me by my elbow, he walked me to his car and guided me onto the passenger seat. Except for the building pressure inside my head, I was numb. I was in desperate need of a Valium, or two. A full-blown anxiety attack was imminent. Shutting my eyes to switch off all external stimuli didn’t work either. The photo of the two of them kissing at The Wine Bar kept flashing up on the inside of my eyelids. Levi hadn’t told me she had been there. Then again, he hadn’t spoken much about that lunch date other than he had met with his father. No wonder.

Scotty slammed the car door shut for me and went to the driver’s side. “Andi, I’m taking you home,” he said as he sat down, and then leaned over, buckling my seat belt for me. His voice was muffled, like he was talking to me underwater.

Void of all emotion, I turned to him and stared blankly. I didn’t respond. Instead, I turned away from him, my movements in slow motion, and rested my forehead against the coolness of the closed window. Outside, the world rushed past me in blur. Beside me, Scotty was talking on his hands-free, his voiced hushed and fast. I overheard my name mentioned more than once through the muffle. I didn’t care what he was saying. I honestly didn’t think I would ever care again.