Frek and the Elixir (35 page)

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Authors: Rudy Rucker

BOOK: Frek and the Elixir
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So he went ahead and felt the glowing image above his father's hand. There was a wriggling sensation, and the virtual ring grew solid to his touch. Frek hefted it and held it to his face. It smelled a little like the insides of a vig. He took the glass from the empty table and poured some water on the ring, then wiped it off and slipped it on.

“Good as new,” said Dad. “Our magic link.”

Frek happened to set down the glass of water crooked. Just a week ago he would have spilled it. But this time he didn't. He took a breath, adjusted the glass, released it without knocking it over. He had a feeling he was done being clumsy. It helped to be on good terms with his father. Not that he wasn't still a little suspicious.

Frek glanced out into the main room. Everything was calm. Renata was sketching the band and petting the dogs. Yessica was still asleep. And Gibby was out of sight around the corner.

“Tell me more about the Magic Pig,” said Frek to his father.

“The Magic Pig,” repeated Carb with a rueful smile. “Lora saw the Magic Pig too, but she got sick of me talking about him. Like I told you, the night you were born, we saw him in a dream. Both of us had the same dream, and that never happens, so that means the Magic Pig was real. And as if that weren't proof enough, when I woke up I had the two rings he gave me. The Magic Pig talked to us right before Lora's water broke and her labor started in. It was maybe three in the morning.”

“What did he look like? What did he say?”

“He was like a toon. Pink, friendly, with a shining gold aura around his head. He said, ‘You're son's the one. You and the boy will save your world. I give you these rings and I give you auto—' Auto something.”

Gibby's shouts interrupted them. The Grulloo was making trouble, standing on the bar screaming at the bartenders for more moolk. They didn't want to give him any. He was on the point of drawing his knife. Carb and Frek hurried over and lifted him off the bar, each of them taking a kicking leg, or arm, and carried the struggling Grulloo to join Renata, Wow, and Woo.

The night's music was just ending with a final series of jittery whoops. It was amazing how loud a sound the sea cucumber could produce by vibrating her intricately branching crest. The feathery tendrils affected the air like the surface of a loudspeaker. The music ended with a boom from the wings of the moth, a chaotic blast from the blue horn-creature's nose, clouds of chirps from the crystal thing, an arpeggio from the crocodile, and dying twangs from the cockroaches. The singing red-blue-yellow sea cucumber closed the song with a few plaintive husky notes that quieted everyone, even Gibby.

The sea cucumber leaned forward toward Frek, Dad, and Renata. “Hello, I am Nefertiti the Radiolarian,” she said into the moment of silence that followed her song. Her conversational voice was a melodious whisper. “I am offering cooperation between our races,” continued Nefertiti. “My family and I are very glad to be helping you leave this planet. We are shipping out at sunrise. Quite soon.” Woo whined with pleasure to hear the sweet whistle of Nefertiti's feathery fan.

“The Unipuskers won't try to stop us from boarding?” asked Frek.

“The spaceport is being off limits to the Unipuskers' concerns,” said Nefertiti the sea cucumber. She made an inclusive gesture with her branching yellow tendrils. “The galactic races are meeting here for trade and for personal contacts. The Unipuskers are receiving a certain landing fee. If they will be bothering us, we will be killing them, this is well understood. These clam-heads have been evolving only recently from the low status of a talent race.”

“Do you think maybe we should go with them instead?” said Renata to Frek in a low tone, nodding her head toward Evawrt and Gawrnier. “I asked, and they said they'd be willing to fly us back to Earth. That's where I want to go.”

“I don't trust Unipuskers anymore,” said Carb flatly. “None of them.”

“I'm—I'm with Dad,” said Frek after a moment's thought. Yes, Gawrnier had saved his life and taught him a wonderful skill, but there was no telling about Evawrt. And once they got back into a Unipusker flying saucer, who knew but whether Hawb and Cawmb might not be able to influence it.

While they were talking, the red and white brittle starfish who'd waved to them appeared at Nefertiti's side, unsteadily walking upright upon two of his thin, writhing legs.

“I am introducing you to Firooz,” said Nefertiti, rippling her yellow frond. “My husband.” Firooz held out one of his wriggly, bumpy arms as if for a handshake, but he didn't say anything. “The suns are rising very, very soon,” continued Nefertiti. “And then we are going on our way. We will gladly be taking all seven of you wherever you wish. This is what I have been expecting to happen after I was passing the door combination to your dog.” She wriggled the long fine hair of her fronds. “It was a simple matter to be probing such information from the thuggish Gawrgor as he was sampling the pleasures of the Taz.”

“My father and I want to go to Orpoly,” said Frek. “And you should take Yessica back to her asteroid near Earth.” He wasn't yet clear about where Renata, Gibby, or the dogs should go, and for now nobody was saying.

“Come then, we are leaving immediately,” said Nefertiti, floating up off the floor. “Although we have been remaining ignorant of Earth's location, I'm sure your presence will be helping us to find the way.”

“Not so fast,” interrupted Renata. “Not to seem rude, Nefertiti, but how do we know you aren't a branecast producer like Hawb and Cawmb? How do we know you don't plan to kill Frek and send another one of us to the Planck brane to make a deal for you?”

“We have always been despising flickerballs,” said Nefertiti primly. “My people will never be having an interest in branecasting. I am offering you this transportation for the sake of promoting harmony between our peoples.”

With no sign of a mouth or of eyes on her, it was hopeless to try and read the red-and-blue sea cucumber's expression. But Frek was inclined to trust her. The fact that she wasn't interested in flickerballs boded well.

“All right,” began Frek, glancing at Renata and Dad. “If it's okay with you two—”

“At least talk to Evawrt,” said Renata.

“We are hewing to a tight schedule,” pressed Nefertiti, hovering in the air at their side. Apparently her body had built-in antigravity.

“We'll be right back,” said Frek. He and Renata headed across the room to the table where the two Unipuskers sat.

“How were things with your father?” asked Renata as they walked.

One of the crab aliens rushed toward them just then. The last thing Frek wanted at this point was another offer to worry about. He took out Gawrgor's blaster to make the crab back off.

“Things are okay with Dad,” said Frek, as they circled around the alien's outstretched claws. “At least for now.”

“Lucky you,” said Renata a little bitterly. Frek could tell she wasn't too happy about Yessica being nodded-out on the couch.

“Greet Frek,” said Gawrnier. He was toying with a bar snack, a handful of live squid in a dish of brown ink. “Report that I observed a bit of your escape via a flickerball tuned to Yessica's mind. Commend you upon your growing skill at blocking out the espers. And at kenny crafting. Marvel that you learned so fast.”

“Greet Frek and Renata,” echoed Evawrt, exhaling a violet-scented plume of rickrack blossom smoke. “Query again if you'd like a ride in my saucer. Inform you that I'm taking Gawrnier to one of our colony worlds, lest Hawb and Cawmb punish him for helping you escape.”

“Well, I'm thinking we'll go with those Radiolarians instead,” said Frek, hooking his thumb toward Nefertiti and Firooz across the room. “Nefertiti says they aren't even interested in branecasting. Carb doesn't think we should trust Unipuskers. Not even you two.”

“Casually accept your decision,” said Evawrt in his high mocking voice. “Jokingly remark that perhaps your father is right. Confirm that the Radiolarians don't use flickerballs. Suggest, however, that the familiar devil can be preferable to the unknown one. Add that I truly don't care if you travel with us or not.”

Frek paused, looking around the room at all the aliens. Something had been bothering him, and now it came clear. “What are these different races doing here anyway?” he asked Evawrt. “They wouldn't be trading physical cargoes—I mean what would they ship? Thanks to kenny crafting, you only need the design for something and you can make it yourself. So what are they doing here?”

“Reveal the answer within your question,” said Gawrnier. “Most of our visitors are trading information. Add that tourism is a motive as well, the desire to see other beings and other worlds. Summarize that aliens visit Unipusk to come to the Taz Spaceport Bar both to barter information and to enjoy each other's presence. Warn, however, that some are prospectors, in search of talent races like humanity to exploit.”

“Like the Unipuskers,” Frek couldn't resist saying. “With their branecast productions and their zoo. Though not you, of course, Gawrnier. I'll be grateful to you for as long as I live.”

“Come on, Frek,” called Dad, gesturing from across the room. He was having a little trouble holding onto Gibby, who was struggling to make another dash at the cowloon. Nefertiti was bobbing around like an impatient balloon, with the five-legged Firooz floating at her side.

“We'll go with the Radiolarians,” decided Frek. “I think that's the right thing to do.”

“Whatever you say,” said Renata doubtfully. “I'd feel better about them if they had eyes. I wonder if I can count on them to take me home.”

“Offer one last bit of advice about kenny crafting,” said Gawrnier as Frek bid him farewell. “Never work with kenner that tries to fight your will.”

Nefertiti had joined Dad in calling for Frek, filling the whole room with her warbling voice. It was time. A few minutes later the seven Earthlings were outside, Frek holding Gibby under one arm, Yessica leaning heavily against Dad, and Renata with the dogs. The horizon was glowing pink, and the great disk of Jumm had slid halfway out of sight.

As they loaded themselves back onto the hoverdisk, Renata again asked Nefertiti about her motives for helping them.

“You don't run a zoo, do you?” she demanded. “And you're not planning to eat us, right?”

The blue-striped red Radiolarian sea cucumber gracefully vibrated her yellow fan, repeating that she only wanted to help them because her people wanted a pleasant association with humanity. And she insisted that they should hurry.

Maybe it should have told Frek something that Nefertiti was so pushy. But it had been a long, tiring night. And he didn't want to look weak by changing his mind.

It was hard to concentrate anyway, for Yessica was awake again, wanting to argue about everything, even though she barely grasped what was going on. Her obnoxiousness was coming on line just in time to replace that of the moolked-out Gibby, who was drifting into sleep.

Once they were all on the hoverdisk, Carb hunkered over the stubby control stick. He did a creditable job of flying them across the field to the Radiolarians' ship. Nefertiti the sea cucumber and Firooz the starfish sailed through the air at their side, buoyed by their internal antigravity.

The first of Unipusk's twin suns peeked over the horizon as they arrived at the barrel ship. The ship was less imposing than Frek had remembered, little more than five meters tall. She seemed to be a sea cucumber something like Nefertiti, only larger, and with plainer colors—mottled sea green, with five vertical black stripes. Her oral fan was a delicate lavender.

At their approach, the ship extended her fan to the maximum, the forked lavender tentacles rising up to perhaps two times the length of the ship, and then, branch by branch, she laid the feathered tendrils down upon the field.

Two more Radiolarians were to be seen perched among the tentacles. Everything was very bright and clear in the light of the rising suns.

“You are meeting Mother Atmen and my two sons, Tutankh and Smenkh,” said Nefertiti. “As soon as you guests will be taking your seats in Mother's branches, we are flying on our way.”

Tutankh was a starfish of the snaky brittle star type like Firooz, with his arms striped green and white like mint candy canes. Smenkh was more like a sea lily, that is, like a feathery-armed starfish. His arms were iridescent, shattering the morning light into all the colors of the spectrum.

Frek felt more and more uneasy. Were they to travel packed inside the stomach of a giant sea cucumber? And what about spacesuits for them just in case? He began trying to vaar some kenner from the air. But as before, it was slow going, and it didn't help to have Nefertiti rushing him, insisting that they wouldn't need suits, that Mother Atmen would fill herself with air.

Meanwhile Yessica was pacing around, compulsively running her fingers through her tangled greasy hair, querulously demanding where she was supposed to go to the bathroom.

Frek had only finished one spacesuit when Dad yelled, “Look out!”

He was pointing out across the spaceport field toward the crumpled stump that had been Hawb and Cawmb's mansion. Two, no three, hoverdisks were coming for them. It seemed foolish to stay here and fight it out.

Hoping for the best, Frek tucked his suit under his arm and waded into the tangle of Mother Atmen's tentacles. He'd have to make the suits for the others while they were underway. Nefertiti, Firooz, Renata, Carb, Yessica, Gibby, Wow, and Woo quickly took their places amid the sticky lavender branches. A blaster bolt from the approaching Unipuskers crackled past.

And then, faster than the time it takes to tell it, Mother Atmen lifted her branches skyward, drew her passengers into her body, and lifted off.

Pressed in on every side by the ship's dark, feathery innards, the exhausted Frek postponed any attempts at struggle and dropped off to sleep.

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