Read Frek and the Elixir Online
Authors: Rudy Rucker
“Let's go there,” said Frek to PhiPhi. “I just know Yessica's got Renata. Get back in the lifter beetle if you're coming along, Gibby.” Though Frek hated to pull Gibby away from his family, he kind of hoped the Grulloo would come along for the denouement.
“Don't leave again, Paw,” said Bili.
“Hold on,” called Gibby to Frek. “Don't be in such a dang rush. And don't even think of goin' without me. If you're gonna use that elixir, you need to bring it inside the Kritterworks. And I'm the fella knows his way in there.”
“Okay,” said Frek tensely.
“I got a powerful hankerin' to smoke a pipe,” continued Gibby. “How about it, Jeroon? I know you always carry a spare. I lost mine somewheres along the line.”
Jeroon handed Gibby a couple of matchbuds and his spare pipe, already full of tobacco. Gibby seated himself in the road, lit the pipe, and tucked the remaining matchbud into his coat pocket. “That's more like it,” he said, exhaling a plume of smoke and snuggling Bili against his side.
“Gibby,” implored Frek. “I'm worried about Renata.”
“Me, I'm worried about my son,” said Gibby. “So shut your crack. Looky here, Bili. I brang some stuff home from my trip for you.”
“Yeah, Paw?” said Bili, grinning up at his father.
Comfortably puffing his borrowed pipe, Gibby rooted through his coat pockets, producing five small items. “Souvenirs for you and LuHu. See this here statue of a guy with a shell for his head? That's a Unipusker. And this blue pebble, that's what the ground looks like on Unipusk. This other little rock, the foamy-looking one, that's a star-cinder I found drifting through space at the galaxy's core. And this here's a key what some bad guys used to lock up our friends Bumby and Ulla. And last of all, this shiny disk, that's a scale from a flying fish name of Aunt Guszti; me and Frek rode on her back. Now you share these with LuHu, son, and wait for me, and I'll be home tomorrow or the next day to tell all about how I got 'em.”
“Look what my paw gave me,” called Bili to Jeroon, holding up the delicately crafted statuette of the Unipusker.
“Lovely,” said Jeroon.
Gibby gave Bili one more kiss, returned the half-smoked pipe to Jeroon, hand-walked over to the foraging lifter beetle, and hopped back in. “You hurry up and tell Maw I'm almost home,” Gibby called to Bili. “I just gotta look after Frek a little bit longer.” And then the four of them were back in the air again, following the River Jaya to Stun City.
Soon Stun City came into view, its curiously formed buildings rising from lush lanes of house trees and aircoral, everything tinged yellow by the slanting morning sun.
The bulbous torus of the NuBioCom puffball was wholly regenerated; presumably Gov's new clone was lodged inside like a worm in an apple. Frek studied the round windows, wondering if his enemy knew what was coming.
Closer than the puffball was the cored-out Kritterworks cube on the banks of the River Jaya, two solid walls showing animated billboards. Rather than airing ads for new model kritters, the billboards were displaying pictures of Orpolese donuts flying among a sea of suns. The aliens had lost no time in settling in. The giant firefly hologram at the apex of the Toonsmith cone was showing a twisty green and red Orpolese donut as well.
As always, Frek's heart rose at the sight of the helical Toonsmithy. Perhaps, once all the dust had settled, things would go back to normal, and Frek could still get a job as a toonsmith. Surely if he could design a game based on this week's adventures, it would be a hit.
The streets of Stun City were thronged with people, with a general motion toward the city center. PhiPhi guided the lifter beetle to the Brindle Cowloon in its pasture at the near edge of town.
The once-lush pasture beside the inn was blasted and black. Frek recalled how the sky-jelly's pale red death ray had twitched across the landscape last Saturday.
The floating cowloon bag was still bobbing in back, the bar was manned as usual by the weasel-faced Pede, but no customers were in sight. PhiPhi sloped down past the wildly ornamental shapes upon the inn's roof and landed by the front door.
Phamelu was sitting behind the Brindle Cowloon counter, watching Da Nha Duc toons on the wall skin. She glanced over at Frek and the others, putting on her disarmingly pleasant smile. A little blue Orpolese halo bobbed above her honey-colored hair.
“Hi, Frek,” she said, a friendly expression crinkling the corners of her eyes. “Or should I still call you Huckle? I see you've brought your friends along. Gibby, PhiPhi-Hexatope, and Zhak-Gaga.” Even though Phamelu had the halo, Frek hesitated before answering. An Orpolese alien might not know where to begin when it came to changing this woman's duplicitous behavior.
“Hi, Phamelu-Wilco,” put in PhiPhi, tacking on what must have been the name of the Orpolese player who was currently gaming the Phamelu body.
“Is Yessica here?” Frek asked Phamelu.
“She left for the puffball,” answered the innkeeper. “She wanted to take your elixir to Gov. For some reason she didn't get an Orpolese master.”
“Oh no,” said Frek, suddenly remembering what he'd said to Vlan. Leave Gibby and Renata and our families out of it. Buddha, was he dumb.
“I would have tried to stop her,” continued Phamelu, as usual saying what her listener wanted to hear. Her eyes flicked back to the toons. “But with half the town in play, things are getting crazy. I was able to talk my master into letting us stay here and watch over my place. There's nobody here but me and Pede. Go have a drink of moolk, Gibby, it's on the house.”
“No thanks,” said Gibby. “Not just now.”
“What about Renata?” pressed Frek.
“Who's that?” said Phamelu with an innocent smile, but then her face twitched and changed expression. “She's upstairs,” said Phamelu, unwillingly voicing the words of her Orpolese controller, Wilco. “Unconscious. The real reason I let Phamelu wait here is so I could watch what happens when Frek shows up and finds Renata. This should be tasty. A scene of high emotion.” And then Phamelu's usual persona took over again. “Wilco's just kidding. You better head for the puffball.”
“Come on!” Frek called to his three companions, and the four of them went pounding up the stairs with Phamelu close behind. And there, in the very same room where he and Gibby had slept, Frek found Renata, lying motionless on the bed with her face turned toward the wall. It broke Frek's heart to see his friend brought so low.
“She has an ooey,” came Phamelu-Wilco's voice. She'd followed them up and was watching avidly from the door. “Yessica installed it when she visited Renata in Middleville the other day. Gov wants to make a deal with you.”
“No deal,” said PhiPhi-Hexatope before Frek could respond. “I can fix her fast.” She produced a tiny silvery whistle and leaned over Renata. The whistle sounded a pure, sweet note.
The skin at the back of Renata's head rippled. PhiPhi pushed aside Renata's heavy pigtails and whistled again. A single blood-red ooey tendril broke through the milky white nape of the girlish neck. PhiPhi kept on calling the ooey. More and more tendrils appeared, and soon the whole mass had oozed out through Renata's skin.
“Gundo geevey,” muttered Gibby.
“Sack it, Zhak,” said PhiPhi.
With a quick motion, Zhak scooped the ooey into his membranous little ooey sack and sealed the top.
“No, Mom,” muttered Renata, twitching her arms. “Don't.”
“Renata,” said Frek, leaning over her. Though her eyes were open, it took a long, scary minute until she could see him. “Renata,” repeated Frek, kissing her on the cheek. “It's okay now.”
“Oh, Frek,” said Renata, flinging her arms around him. “Mom made me steal your elixir! Everything's going wrong.” And then she pushed him away and sat up. “Can we still save it? She's taking it to Gov.”
“It not too late,” said PhiPhi. “Lots of Orpolese-run people in the street. Orpolese passing the word all over Earth. All the Govs getting torn down.”
“Let's go,” said Frek.
“Me too,” said Phamelu-Wilco. “I'll get my lifter beetle.”
“Me and Zhak can ride with her,” said Gibby to Frek. “So you can be with Renata.”
The two beetles buzzed across town toward the puffball. As they flew, Frek thought about the fact that Phamelu spoke of the Orpolese as âmasters,' rather than as âplayers.' Like or not, that was closer to the truth. Where was it all going to end? One thing at a time, Frek told himself. Get the elixir, restore the biome, and then worry about the humanity channel.
And now, yes, below them in the cobblestone-paved puffball square was Yessica, struggling with a young pair of Orpolese-controlled locals.
The man and woman holding Yessica were gently bouncing on sacks of skin that grew from the soles of their bare feet. Their knees bent backward, like bird legs. It was the same couple who'd talked to Frek when he'd been looking for the puffball the week before. Try as Yessica might, she couldn't get free of them to run the last twenty meters to Gov's puffball.
Frek would have expected a squadron of counselors to come rushing out to help Yessica. But the counselors and scientists all had Orpolese halos by now. The few who remained inside the puffball were leaning out the windows. They cheered and laughed when Frek and his companions landed, many of them calling Frek's name.
Gov wasn't powerless yet. As if to punish the employees for defecting, the floors inside the puffball rooms bucked up, pitching the watchers out of the windows. Most of them managed to slide safely down the puffball's curved wall, but a few crashed heavily to the ground and lay twitching. At the same time, a few dozen tendrils sprouted from the puffball's cornice. Something bad was going to happen.
Frek sprinted over to Yessica.
“Goggy greetings,” said the woman holding Yessica. Her tongue was green between her lips. “Remember usâGlen and Gillian? We grabbed the grabber for you.”
“She's got your gaussy gene juice,” said the man, nodding his head toward Yessica. “The godzoon grow-stuff!” His and Gillian's halos were a light and a dark green.
Frek didn't even try to talk to Yessica. Her hair was webbed across her face and her mouth was pursed in fury. Dodging her kicking legs, Frek reached into the purse that hung from her shoulder and pulled out, yes, the elixir egg.
“No, Frek,” said Yessica. “You'll ruin everything Gov's worked for.” She looked past Frek to Renata. “Don't let them treat your mother this way, dear. I was only trying to get the best for us.”
“Look out,” bellowed Gibby. A stinking ball of flame bloomed beside them. Gov's tendrils were throwing firebombs: fatty, phosphorous-laden jelly bags of combustible gas.
“Gleepy!” said Glen, baring his green gums in a grimace. A bit of flaming jelly had landed on one of his backward-folding legs. He released Yessica and slapped at his leg, high-stepping away from the puffball. Yessica twisted free of Gillian and sprinted toward the puffball door. Gillian let her go, and bounded after Glen.
“Come back, Mom!” shouted Renata.
“Let her go,” said Frek. “She'll be okay. She always is. You have to look out for yourself now.”
Another of the vile firebombs splattered on the cobblestones beside them, engulfing PhiPhi's lifter beetle in a blazing stench. The beetle let out a terrible twittering screech as it died. The rest of them were unharmed.
“Let's head for the Kritterworks!” shouted Gibby over the roar of the flames. “We need to seed them artigrows!” The Grulloo took off across the cobblestones, leading the way. Frek and Renata followed on foot, with the three others tagging along in Phamelu's lifter beetle.
As they made their way downhill through the winding streets of Stun City, more and more Orpolese-run Nubbies joined the procession, many of them shouting Frek's name. He was riding a wave of adulation. It was very strange.
“What's going on, Frek?” asked Renata. “Why does everyone know you?”
“It's the Orpolese,” said Frek. “They're controlling all these people like toons in a game. The humanity channel branecast is in full effect.”
“But we're still free?” said Renata. “I know you have that sky-air-comb trick, but why aren't the Orpolese driving me? I can feel them watching through my eyes. Esping me. The golden glow.”
“I asked them not to control you or Gibby,” said Frek.
“Thanks,” said Renata. “It's nice to be myself again.” She patted the turkle on her belt. “I haven't been able to draw since I got the ooey.”
“I knew something was wrong,” said Frek, smiling at her. “At least the ooey couldn't stop you from showing me the way home. See the Toonsmithy over there?”
“Finally,” said Renata. “I want to show them my drawings. You said you know a woman toonsmith, right?”
“Sure,” said Frek, even though this was a bit of an exaggeration. “Her name's Deanna.” Now that he was famous the toonsmiths would probably listen to him.
They arrived at the great square door of the Kritterworks. The building's facade was punctuated by the mouths of airshafts that ran through the great cube. The whole building was gently throbbingâbreathing, as it were. Like a house tree or the puffball, it was a single living thing.
The crowd halted behind Frek, expectantly watching his every move. Renata's eyes ranged over the mass of people. “This is gaud,” she said. “Everyone has a colored halo except for you, Gibby, and me. The haloes are, like, icons of the Orpolese players?”
“That's it,” said Frek. “The masters. I don't know if we'll ever get rid of them. But right now it's good to have them around.” He raised his hand and waved to the crowd.
“Frek!” they roared. “Elixir!”
The sides of the Kritterworks were showing images of people destroying Gov puffballs all over Earth.