Fresh Ice (25 page)

* * *

Dwight had found her and he was angrier than Sarah had ever seen him. The weight of his body on top of her caused her to struggle for breath. His cold, black eyes bore into her and she flinched as his gaze bore into her soul. The angry red tip of his cigarette glowed in the dim light.

“You’re mine, Sarah.” He said her name over and over until the syllables all ran together.

When she tried to shrink away from him he held firm. Her arms stung from the tightness of his grip. “Stop, you’re hurting me!” she pleaded.

Her cries were ignored and he shifted the bulk of his weight onto
chest.

Dwight
held her down with such force that she thought she could hear her own bones crunch. When his hand clamped down onto fresh bruises she cried out in agony. The blade of his pocketknife glinted in the light. She should be afraid of the weapon but oddly enough she wasn’t. Just one stab to the heart, she thought. That’s all it would take to end the misery for good.

“Sarah.” He chuckled and squeezed until everything swirled into the black color of his eyes.

But her will to live was strong. She had everything to live for and Dwight had nothing but hate and anger. He might have her beat in the strength department but there had to be some way to escape him.

She kicked and tried to squirm away but she was no match for his strength and sheer size.

His fingers dug deeper into her skin, twisting and clawing until she screamed.

* * *

That night, just like clockwork, Nathan heard the gunshots. The first one followed closely by a second and then a third. Then silence. It was the silence that was the most unnerving. Because the silence meant it was all final and done. The silence meant there was nothing left to do but mourn.

Nathan was the only one who had the nightmares. Kayla didn’t have them because she hadn’t been there. She hadn’t heard the gunshots and then the silence. Night after night, Nathan was doomed to relive that tragic night
alone.

The only way to cope was to
work up a sweat. But the stationary bike in the spare room would just add to the aggravation. Riding in place and not getting anywhere wouldn’t chase away the images clanging around in Nathan’s brain. So he chose free weights because he could lift them quietly without waking anyone in the house.

After wearing himself out, Nathan took a shower in the spare bathroom.
When he stepped out of the shower, he thought he heard something. He threw on his robe, opened the door and stuck his head out into the hallway. Sure enough, screams were coming from the direction of the master bedroom.

He burst into the room to find Sarah flailing under the sheet. He rushed to her and gathered her in his arms. “Sarah, it’s okay.”

She awoke from the nightmare with wild eyes, her body clammy and stiff. He smoothed her hair and pulled her close.

“Nathan?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me. You’re okay. It was just a dream.”

She sighed and went limp with exhaustion against him.
“I won’t go back there.”

He didn’t ask where.
“You don’t have to go anywhere,” he told her. He stroked his hand up and down her spine and whispered comforting words. “You’re safe here, Sarah.”

Sarah replayed the dream in her mind.
It had felt so real but it was just a dream. She
was
safe. Even though she had freed herself weeks ago, she’d been trapped for so long that her mind continued to relive the past while she slept.

“I’m free,” she whispered to herself. Now, if only s
he could free her subconscious.

She tucked her body in close to his
and rested her forehead on his chest, taking comfort in the steady rhythm of his breathing.

When she settled down and the horrific visions faded from her mind
, Nathan asked if she was okay.

“Yes,” she answered.

He pulled back like he was about to leave and she stopped him. “Nathan?”

“
Yeah?”

Second thoughts made her pause.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“Will you stay with me tonight?”
she asked.

“Of course.
I’m right in the other room. I won’t go anywhere.”

“No, I mean in here
…in the room with me.”

“Sure.” He looked around the room and his eyes landed on the chair and ottoman in the corner. It would be comfortable enough. Hell, he’d sleep on a bed of nails just as long as it was near Sarah. “I’ll just sleep on the chair.” He started to walk over to the chair but stopped mid-step when she reached out and held his hand.

“You’ll wake up with a kink in your neck. Please, stay in the bed. If…if that’s okay with you?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It feels nice when you…I like it when you hold me.”

His lips turned up into a grin and he
crawled into bed. He adjusted his pillow and settled in behind her. “Is this okay?” he asked. He snuggled into her lavender-scented hair and the warm curve of her body.

“Yes,”
she murmured. “It’s wonderful.”

Chapter Eighteen

Fun and Games

The next morning, Nathan woke up early before anyone else in the house. Dueling emotions from the day before prevented him from finding sleep. The worst performance of his hockey career followed by the most incredible kiss with Sarah had left him discombobulated to say the least.

And then, on top of everything else, he spent the night with Sarah
sleeping in his arms. As good as it felt to be close to her, it also complicated things and added to his frustration.

Nathan
looked over and Sarah was curled into the fetal position, teetering on the edge of the bed. Careful not to wake her, he grabbed some clothes and snuck out of the room.

In the living room,
he turned on the TV to the UNHL Channel and braced for the worst.

After Nathan let four goals in and was pulled from the net, TJ
stepped in only to let two more goals in. The sportscasters were calling it The Massacre at NorCal Center. It was a small consolation that TJ hadn’t been able to hold off the Warriors either but it didn’t change the fact that Nathan had failed to do his job.

The two anchors on the TV screen were having a field day with the highlights.
“After the Razors took a gamble on goaltender Nathan Connors, his performance during yesterday’s game has left owners questioning their decision to sign the inconsistent goalie.”

“
Connors had a stellar record before the altercation that changed his career two years ago. No word yet on if Connors will be starting tomorrow in the game against the Orlando Everblades or if coaching staff will decide to give TJ Pomatto another chance.”

“His composure waivered
,” one of the anchors pointed out. “He seemed rattled,”

“It’s too bad
,” his co-anchor agreed, “Because Connors used to be one of the best goalies in the league. Now he looks downright uncomfortable in the net. He’s lacking that confidence that goalies of his caliber need. Frankly, I don’t know if his team has confidence in him either.”

Nathan scrubbed his hand over his face.
The stress was unbearable. He had the weight of the team on his shoulders and his mistakes were right there on the screen for the entire world to see.

“
As most of our viewers are familiar with, Connors’s career started its downward spiral two years ago when—“

The TV screen went black.

Nathan looked up and Kayla stood behind him holding the remote control. He sighed and leaned back into the couch, readying himself for one of his sister’s longwinded speeches. This was going to be a good one. What could she possibly have to say that he hadn’t already said to himself?

“Stop obsessing
, Nathan. You’ve been a part of this sport long enough to know you can’t do this to yourself.”

“It builds character
,” he said stubbornly.

“You’ve got character coming out of your ears
, Nathan. This…” she waved her hand at the TV, “
This
makes you a disturbed glutton for punishment. I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not working. You’re just slowly killing yourself. I wish you’d stop focusing on the negative and go out there and play how you know how to play.”

Easier said than done.

“Remember how much fun you used to have when you were first starting out?” she asked. “Remember when you looked forward to going to the arena and joking around with the guys? I know you’ve always taken the game seriously but you used to at least have
fun
. You’re one of the few people on this earth who gets to play a game for a living. It sure as hell shouldn’t feel like
work
, Nathan.”

Nathan sighed.
“I can always count on you to give me a swift kick in the ass when I need it, Kay.”

“Hey, you did the same for me after I had Robbie.
Suddenly, I was suddenly a single mom with no one to help me and you pushed me to make something of myself. After everything that happened, I could have started using drugs or slipped into a deep depression or hooked up with another abusive man but I didn’t. Because you convinced me I was better than that. Every day you told me I deserved a better life and that I was
worth
it.”

“Because you
are
worth it.”

“And so are you.
You always played your best when you were having fun. Get back to the basics. Go back to how you used to approach the game before… Before
you know
.”

“
I know
,” he said tightly. He knew exactly what happened and didn’t need to be reminded of it every three seconds of his life.

“
What does that news anchor know anyway?” she pointed out, her tone turning gentle. “He’s never even won a Cup.”

“You don’t have to have a Cup to know how bad I blew
that game. I screwed up big time yesterday.”

“It’s not your fault
, Nathan. There are twenty other guys on the team who are supposed to help you out.”

She was trying to defer the blame
away from him but Nathan wouldn’t hear of it. “Yeah, but I’m the only one in the net.” He stood up with a sigh and started for the kitchen. This conversation was over.

“Dad always said—“

Nathan wheeled around and put his hand up to stop her. “Thanks for the advice,” he said firmly.

She sighed and her face softened.
“I’m just saying you need to get out of your own head. Get out and do something non-hockey related for a change. You
both
could use some fun.”

Nathan’s
hand fell back down to his side. “Are you talking about Sarah?”

“Yeah.”
Kayla smiled and tilted her head to the side. “She could be something good for you.”

Nathan’s eyes darted down the hallway in the direction of where
Sarah slept.

“What’s on your mind?
” Kayla asked gently. “I can tell it’s something important.”

He shrugged.

“I know you, Nathan. I know when you’re working something out in your head. Is it about hockey or…or Sarah?”

“I kissed her,” he said in a low voice. “
She turned tail and ran the other direction.”

“Oh, Nathan.
” Her hands clutched together over her heart in a total female reaction. “It was probably the first real kiss the poor girl’s ever had.”

“Well,
I guess she didn’t exactly run,” he said to himself. “It was more like she…
fled
.”

“You have to give her time
, Nathan. She’s had a rough life and it’s going to take her a while to discover there are decent people in this world.”

Nathan
hoped Kayla was right. Either way, Sarah was worth the wait.

“When I’m around her I feel…calm
,” he admitted. Well, except for when he was punching people out. But that was a fluke and they both knew it.

“Calm is good,” Kayla pointed out. “
Calm is
very
good.”

* * *

Nathan used the guest bathroom to take a quick cold shower. When he came out dressed and ready to conquer the day, Kayla rushed by him and down the hall. “I’m running late,” she announced before tugging Robbie into his room. “Spiderman here is puttin’ a kink in my web.”

Nathan followed them into Robbie’s room.
“Here, I’ll get Robbie dressed for you,” he offered. “You go get ready.”

“Thanks, Nathan. You’re a lifesaver.”

Nathan wrangled his nephew away from his toys and stripped him out of his Spiderman jammies. “What’ll it be for today?” Nathan asked, holding up two different shirts to choose from.