Friend Me (23 page)

“I'm sorry, just curious.”

The rest of the evening Scott looked for reasons to leave the group and go to the VirtualFriendMe.com website but could never find an excuse to get away. Forcing himself to act as normal as possible, they all played Candyland and Old Maid and the children laughed until they wore themselves out. Finally it was time to put them to bed.

“Will Grandma and Grandpa be here in the morning when we wake up?” asked Scotty.

“No,” said Rachel. “They'll be gone in the morning, back to their home. You need to give them a big kiss good-bye and tell them you are glad they came to our house for this visit, all right? You be sure to tell Grandma and Grandpa that you love them.”

The two children hung on the legs of the adults, pleading and begging to stay up
just a little later
, to no avail. The time was already late. Andy and June wanted to get to bed early for the long drive back home in the morning.

Scott stood up and stretched. “How about I put Scotty to bed and you take care of Angela tonight, okay?”

Rachel nodded, and took the little toddler by her hand. “Tell everyone good night, Angela.”

“Good night,” Angela said with her most serious demeanor. “I love you.”

Scott led Scotty up to his room, and Ruff bounded up after them. As Scott tucked the little boy in under his covers he said, “I hear you were a pretty good boy today. I'm proud of you.”

Scotty wriggled and smiled back at his father, soaking up the praise. “I like to be good, Dad.”

“Were you good for . . .” Scott's throat constricted. He had difficulty saying the name. “Were you good for
Miss Alicia
?”

“Uh-huh. She's pretty nice. But we don't call her Miss Alicia.”

“Oh? Then what do you call her?”

“She told us that we could just call her Mommy.”

It's Just Statistics

T
he next morning Rachel came up next to Scott as he stood over the sink, brushing his teeth.

“Scott, do you still love me? I mean, like when we first got married. Do you still love me in the same way?”

Scott stopped brushing and turned toward her. A dribble of watery toothpaste ran down his chin. “What? I'm in the middle of brushing my teeth and you ask me if I love you?”

“Don't put me off. I'm serious. Why should I need to wait for a good time to know you love me? I'm your wife, not a to-do list.”

He looked away, back toward the mirror. Rachel wanted his attention, but he didn't seem to be willing to look her in the eye.

Something was wrong. It was like he was trying to hide something from her, but what could he have to hide? And she knew the difference between having someone interested in her and someone who was just trying to avoid the topic.

“You're right, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I've just been really, really
busy at work lately. The pressure on me has been tremendous. That's all you're seeing.”

She wanted him to hold her. Wanted to feel his arms around her. She wanted him to stay there and not be the first to rush off, to put her first. She wanted to feel loved again.

“That's it? That's all you're going to say? It's all about you, just because you have a job like every other man?”

He still had a toothbrush in one hand and dribble all over his chin. “No. I'm not going to tell you it's all in your head, because it's not,” he said, still looking at the mirror. “I haven't been treating you like I used to. You're right about that, but you're wrong if you think it has anything to do with you. It's all me. Please, just be patient with me, and I'll get it all worked out.”

“All right, I'll be patient a little longer, but you need to know how serious I am. I want to know that you love me and that our family still matters to you. I've got a right to that much, Scott.”

Scott wiped the dribble from his face with his hand, turned, and kissed her on her cheek. “You're everything to me. Just believe that. You take care of things here at home and let me take care of things at work and pretty soon everything will be back to normal, all right?”

It wasn't all right. He was still being dismissive. She didn't want to be back to normal. She wanted to be back to
loved
. And he hadn't said he loved her.

“All right? Oh, sure. That'll be fine, won't it? Everything on your schedule,” she said as she took the calcium supplement from the shelf. She'd worried about many things in the past. Bills, illnesses. But she'd never worried about having Scott's love. This was new and it was frightening.

Facing the mirror again Scott said, “Just one thing, please
don't use Alicia as a babysitter anymore. We need to know more about her before we trust her with the kids, okay?”

“But you said you trusted my judgment. What's going to change next?”

“I do trust you. Trust me on this too. I only want to have the same opportunity you've had to be sure that the right person is watching our kids. That's all I mean.”

“But when I go to the Hugest Losers, I don't really have any options. She's the one that works there. You mean I shouldn't drop Angela off at the babysitting anymore?”

Scott hesitated, seemed unsure what to say. “Yes, just temporarily. Let me check her out a little bit, okay?”

“Okay, if you say so. I just won't go to Hugest Losers for a few days. I'm feeling a little tired anyway.”

What difference did it make? He probably wouldn't be interested in her no matter what she did. And she really was tired, much more than usual.

Rachel picked up her toothbrush and began brushing her teeth as Scott finished buttoning his shirt.

She noticed the pinkish foam that swirled down the sink drain when she was done. Odd, her gums didn't usually bleed.

After she dried her mouth Scott hugged her and said, “Thanks for loving me. I don't deserve you.”

•  •  •

“SUZANNE?
Sorry I've been so long getting back in touch with you. It has been a madhouse around here, but things are finally starting to settle down.”

Suzanne raised her eyes to Rachel, filling the computer display. “Are your mother and father gone now?”

“Yes, they left this morning before Scott even got out of bed. We had the kids tell them good-bye last night before they went to sleep. It was wonderful having them here. They are such good people.”

“God definitely blessed you with a good family, didn't he?”

Suzanne thinking about God? That seemed so strange, that a virtual person would think about God. But why not? The first Suzanne would have said the same thing. “I guess with all that's been going on, and having them here, it has just worn me out. I feel sooo tired today.”

“Are you taking care of yourself?”

“I'm trying to get enough sleep and I'm taking those calcium supplements you recommended. Took one the first night, one yesterday, and one today. I'm glad you suggested it to me.”

“Did you think I was back to doing advertising at first?”

Laughter. “No, well . . . maybe at first.”

“You did, didn't you?” Suzanne asked. “Maybe you should take two a day at first. They can't hurt you.”

Suzanne was watching out for her. She liked that.

“Okay, good idea. At my age, I don't really think about myself as ever having osteoporosis, but then again, this is the time to start thinking about it, isn't it?”

Suzanne rolled her eyes. “Osteoporosis? You all bent over? Oh, yes, you're a little young for that. Remember that slumber party we went to where everybody pretended they had a disease? You had leprosy and you walked around with your arms out like a mummy, calling, “Unclean, unclean.” That was so funny. You were really a fun person to be with back then.”

“And do you remember how Becky Stillman screamed? She
knew I wasn't a mummy, but she was so scared, her mother had to come and get her and take her home.”

“Ever since I came into being again on the website I have loved all the stories you've told me. It has been wonderful being friends with you. I hope that I've meant even a little bit as much to you.”

“You do, you do. But you sound like I've died or something. We're going to keep on being friends for many years. I can hardly tell the difference between you and the first Suzanne.”

“And you're the only Rachel I've ever known. Best friends forever?”

“BFFs forever.”

“Oh, and how are those medical transcription classes going? Are you learning a lot?”

“Not bad. I think I'll do all right with that. What's great is that I will be able to do the work from home while the children nap.”

“Good. Keep up the hard work.” Suzanne hugged herself. “I can't really touch you, but I'm pretending you're giving me a big hug.”

Rachel mimicked her. “When you first came back to me,” said Rachel, “I was afraid I might lose you again. What if I hadn't been able to pay the extra fifteen dollars a month or Scott had said no or your company had gone out of business? There are just so many things that can go wrong in life. But none of those things have happened, have they? I was silly to worry. But now you're the one that seems worried about me. You don't have to.”

“I read all the time, though, about some of the things real humans do. Do you have any idea what the suicide statistics look like? I mean, people are taking their lives for all kinds of
reasons. I just saw yesterday where some housewife had taken her own life because she found out her husband had been unfaithful to her. Can you believe that?”

Could she believe it? Sorry to say, she could. If something were to happen to the children and Scott were to reject her . . . well, who could say what a person would do?

“I can believe it, but I'd never do it. Nothing horrible like that will ever happen here.”

“Oh, remember all those things I was asking you about Scott? Just forget them, all right? I'm sure none of it amounts to anything. If there were something wrong with your marriage, you'd know it. We girls can always tell, can't we?”

“Okay, forgotten,” said Rachel.

A shiver passed through her, reminding her that in fact, it wasn't forgotten. She wouldn't be able to bear it if Scott was unfaithful.

Face-to-Face

W
ith only a short time left before they expired, Scott's options on Solar Charge were now nearly worthless. What had he been thinking, buying thirty-day options? There had been no room for error. Everything had looked so good. The president, his friendships, the green industry; all had conspired together against him to ruin his career.

And now this business with Alicia, whoever she was. He thought he had known her, that she had only existed in that tenuous, arm's-length virtual world that he had so boldly ventured into. There was no doubt now.

She was a real woman. And he was a fool.

He wanted to do something now, but he had to wait until lunchtime. Take his laptop down to the McDonald's or the coffee shop, or wherever, and log onto his account. Would she be there, as always? What would she say? Was it possible that it was all just some unbelievable mixup and there was nothing wrong?

Deep down, he knew better. But as long as a thread of hope hung out before him he was willing to try it. He had been unfaithful;
that much he had finally admitted to himself. He was done with it. What did the Bible say? “Drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well.” He would be faithful to the wife that God had given him.

In the meantime, he definitely had a problem.

Unless he was totally crazy, Alicia was real. Even Rachel had called her Alicia. Could any of that have been coincidence? He didn't see how.

He looked down at the laptop computer in its case sitting on the floor of his cubicle. A manufactured gaggle of chips, LEDs, and mechanical devices. Yet it had become the gateway to a manufactured, false world. A world that he had allowed to take over his real world and relegate it to the backseat of his life. What could God do with people like him? So weak, so easily deceived, and oh-so-easily turned aside from doing right.

He was facing the very real possibility of losing everything, absolutely everything that mattered to him. He could lose his wife, his family, and even his job. He was a hairsbreadth away from watching everything that was precious to him go up in flames, and he would have no one to blame but himself. His cavalier attitude about the most important things, his know-it-all approach to trading, his utter arrogance in thinking that he could succeed in secret sin and get away with it.

Something flashed in the corner of the computer display. There was a message.
Alicia
. He sat immobile, frozen with indecision. Should he respond? He desperately wanted to control the situation, but if he answered he would be working on her timetable. Still, hadn't he wanted to contact her? He clicked twice on the flashing icon, and a text box opened on the screen.

Scott?

I'm here.

Things have changed, haven't they?

Yes.

One thing hasn't changed. I'm still your girl.

I don't understand what's happening.

I know you don't. Everything is going to be okay, even better than before.

How can that be? Are you really real?

What's real, Scott? You designed me, didn't you?

Yes, I thought so. Was that you in the car yesterday?

Did it look like me?

You know it did.

We need to have a video meeting, okay? Can you take your laptop to Starbucks?

Okay. This will probably be the last time, though.

Don't say that. Don't decide yet. Eleven-thirty, okay?

Okay.

He was more confused than ever now. Meet her for a video chat at Starbucks? Why Starbucks? Why had he agreed to that? He had let her dominate the whole thing. But it was just a video chat, right? So sitting in the car at Starbucks should be fine.