Friendship Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (27 page)

E
very day Becky built a map in her head. A map of her world, ever-expanding. And so much richer than what she could simply
see.

Like now, standing in her hallway, holding a knit cap in her hands. She knew which way it went on—her eyesight had not deteriorated
that much. But instead of depending upon her vision, she oriented the hat by running the pad of a finger along the soft inside
band until she felt the nub that indicated the seam. Only then did she pull the hat over her head, lining that nub against
the nape of her neck.

She also knew, because of the faint creak of the floorboards in the adjacent dining room, that Marco stood right in front
of the windows. The old floorboards had gone slightly warped there from decades of exposure to the afternoon sun. He was standing
there studying the architectural plans he’d fetched from work—the ones he’d be using next week when he was finally back on
the job. She heard the subtle crackling of the curled blue paper as he traced the lines with his fingers.

Then her two kids raced down the stairs, squealing. They plowed into the back of her knees, one after another.

Brian’s excited voice, “I won!”

Becky dropped her hand onto his mop of hair, sweaty-warm. Beneath her fingers, she felt the vibrating energy of the boy, all
power and movement.

“It was a
tie,
” Brianna responded, swinging around to peer up at her. “Right, Mom?”

Becky caressed Brianna’s chin and smelled the scent of her daughter’s favorite strawberry shampoo. She caught a tress that
curled between her fingers and felt, against her knuckles, the tremble of Brianna’s excitement.

 “One of you definitely reached me before the other,” Becky conceded. “But don’t ask me which one.”

There were certain advantages to having no peripheral vision.

“Rematch,” Marco ordered as he stepped into the hallway. “The winner will be the first one who comes back wearing sneakers.”

Brian shot up the stairs. Brianna ran after him, wailing, “But I have to
tie
my shoes, and he wears
Velcro
!”

Becky watched until they disappeared around the landing. Behind her Marco’s presence was a perfume of sun-heated cotton and
ink. His slow laugh rumbled through her, through some parts more thoroughly than others. She didn’t turn to face him completely.
It was still easier to talk to him when he lingered just out of the range of her vision. Like this she could bear being honest.

“I know you have a lot of work to do,” she said, reaching for the scarf she’d hung on a peg behind the door, “so I’ll keep
them outside for as long as I can. Judy’s already at the park with Monique. Judy’s walking the dogs so that should keep the
kids entertained.”

She heard the slip of flesh against cloth as he shoved his hands into his pockets. He leaned into her and spoke low near her
ear. “They’re still so thrilled that you’re home, Beck.”

“That’ll wear off when I make them clean their rooms tonight. In the meantime I’ll take the extra hugs and kisses. Two weeks
away must have seemed like an eternity for them.”

“Two weeks is a long time for husbands too.”

His fingers slipped into her hair. He played with it for a moment, and then he gripped her head, silently nudging her to turn
around. With a flutter of nerves she faced him and absorbed the full impact of those melted-chocolate eyes with the impossibly
long lashes. The memory of last night shimmered between them.

“I should just go with you to the park.” His voice had dipped to that low, lovely timbre that now made her think of a Porsche
purring on an open road. “It’s a nice day. I could bring the mitts and play catch with the kids.”

“Marco, you did that for two straight weeks.”

“It rained half the time you were gone.”

“And you spent it playing board games.” She met his eyes, silently letting him know how much she appreciated how he’d kept
the kids, the house, and her world together while she was overseas falling apart. “I know you’re itching to work on those
plans.”

He rolled a shoulder. “I still have a few days to eyeball them.”

She traced his jaw, prickly and unshaven. He always tried so hard to be the best at everything. She remembered now that she’d
fallen in love with him for just that quality. That had gotten lost amid all her anxieties these past years, worries that
had led to nothing. Gina, for all her risky behavior, had never lost herself to drugs, never become pregnant, never crashed
the car, or injured herself or others. Brian, her wild man of a son, had never darted into traffic as she’d worried when he
was a fury of a two-year-old. Brianna had never developed heart problems from the strep throat that had escalated into rheumatic
fever. Marco though on furlough had never completely lost his job.

She was going blind, yes. Someday in the not so far future her eyesight would dim and wink out.

But not today.

“Work on your plans.” She patted the muscled swell of his chest. “Then pick us up in an hour and a half. You can drive us
all to Brian’s soccer game and buy me an orange Creamsicle from the ice cream truck.”

His lips twitched. “You’ve got your cell?”

She reached into her pocket, pulled it out, and waved it. “Don’t forget Brian’s cleats. He can change in the car.”

“That phone isn’t on vibrate, right?” Marco’s eyes crinkled. “Because you’re terrible at picking it up, Beck.”

“It’s at full volume now. When you call, I’ll hear it.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He fixed his mouth upon hers, sealing the deal. He tasted of strong coffee, taken straight black in the morning. He tasted
of forgiveness, and hope, and promise.

Thundering feet soon interrupted along with Brianna’s high-pitched, “Ewww
wwwww
!”

“Mommy, Daddy!” Brian’s little fists pounded on her thighs. “Stop, stop,
stop
.”

Marco reluctantly pulled away. Then he swept Brian up and swung him around. Brianna tugged on the end of Becky’s scarf, urging
her to hurry. Becky hiked her pack on her shoulder, and in a rustle of coats and scarves and one more quick kiss, she and
her kids bounded out the door.

Becky slipped on her sunglasses and followed her guides. Brianna announced that she was the warrior princess that led the
queen, warning her of any wrinkle in the red carpet that stretched from their house to the park a quarter mile away. Brian
was the knight who challenged all the squirrels and chipmunks who dared to cross their path, who destroyed any broken branches
that blocked their progress. When nothing else challenged him, he used one of those sticks to battle invisible dragons.

Becky followed the sight of their little figures, feeling the path beneath the soles of her feet, stretching out her hand
as she passed each city tree, noting the thickness, the texture of the bark, the sound of the wind in the drying leaves and
the warmth of the sun against her skin despite the chill in the air. Even the most familiar of places could be newly discovered
when all of one’s senses were put fully to use.

She glimpsed Judy and Monique just as they turned into the park. Judy was leaning forward, telling a story. Monique threw
her head back to laugh at whatever Judy said. They were waiting for her at the usual place by the big stone, surrounded by
pots of mums, where the new mulch smelled loamy and rich.

The dogs, panting, leaped off their feet as they glimpsed Brian and Brianna, who bounded toward them. Monique and Judy waved
at her. She waved right back.

Every day she built a map in her head. A map of her world, ever-expanding. She’d memorized the center of that map by heart.

All the people she loved lived here.

Lisa Verge Higgins loves to meet new readers. If your book club has chosen a book by Lisa and you’re interested in arranging
a phone or Skype chat, feel free to contact her at
http://www.lisavergehiggins.com/contact.htm
.

1. Here’s Lenny’s bucket list. How many of these would you like to do? 
   
   1. Take a ride on the London Eye. 
      
   2. Enjoy a scenic cruise down the Rhine River.
      
   3. Dine at Le Jules Verne at the Eiffel Tower. 
      
   4. Visit the catacombs of Paris. 
      
   5. Go abseiling in Interlaken, Switzerland. 
      
   6. Ride a motorcycle through the Black Forest. 
      
   7. Blow $1,000 in a Monaco casino to see how long the money lasts. 
      
   8. Travel 100 mph on a German autobahn. 
      
   9. Celebrate Oktoberfest in Munich. 
      
   10. Enjoy the wine and truffle festival in Alba, Italy. 
       
   11. Tour the crypts at the Cimitero Monumentale di Milano, Milan. 
       
   12. See Leonardo da Vinci’s
       The Last Supper
       . 
       
   13. Go bungee jumping. 
       
2. Write a thirteen-item bucket list of your own. How does it compare to that of your friends? 
   
3. At the end of the book Monique considers making a drastic change in her life, perhaps by adopting another child. Do you think
   this will be a good choice for her? How do you think Kiera will react to this life change?  
   
4. Each of the women in this book is facing a loss: Monique has never recovered from the death of Lenny, Judy is grappling with
   a sudden crisis of identity, and Becky is facing the eventual failure of her eyesight. These losses are in the past, present,
   and future. Are they equally strong? Which of the characters, in your opinion, is facing the most difficult transformation? 
   
5. It has been four years since Monique lost Lenny, yet she still mourns deeply. Do you have a direct experience of this kind
   of personal loss (spouse, child, parent, or other close loved one)? How long do you think it should take to regain some sense
   of normality? Do you ever, really, move on after such a life-changing loss—or do those who grieve deeply simply build a new
   life around the absence?  
   
6. The marriages of these women are markedly different: Monique imagines Lenny as still present, still communicating, and idealized;
   Becky’s marriage is tense, full of silences, and clearly in trouble; and Judy’s marriage to Bob is earthy, communicative,
   and grounded. How do their relationships to their husbands hinder or help them in their personal journeys? 
   
7. Judy’s journey is a search for self. She starts by looking to her past, to the young fleet-footed girl she once was. Are there
   parts of your own self that you left behind, perhaps put aside for marriage, motherhood, maturity? What were the dreams you
   held as a young woman? Are they still viable? Do they still inspire you?  
   
8. Becky and her bête-noir Gina are worlds apart in attitude and outlook. But Becky and Gina share a sensitive, artistic sensibility—not
   just in their ability to draw, but also in the way they use this talent to express their brightest dreams…or darkest nightmares.
   If they dared to reinvent their relationship, what could these women learn from one another?  
   
9. At the beginning of the book Monique feels the presence of Lenny so strongly in her life that in private moments she “summons”
   him, speaks with him, wallows for a few moments in the feeling that he is still alive. Have you ever posed a question to a
   loved one who has died and knew what his/her response would be? What kind of things bring the memory of a lost loved one most
   strongly back to you—the smell of her perfume or his aftershave? The feel of an old sweater? The discovery of a letter or
   an old note?  
   
10. After their last child goes off to college, Bob says to Judy that she’s acting like a bird who doesn’t realize that the door
    to the cage is open. Judy remembers an incident with a pet parakeet: One of their children had left the door open, and the
    parakeet flew out…only to fly right back in. What does this say about Judy’s state of mind? Could this analogy also fit Monique’s
    situation? What about Becky’s? 
    
11. Becky has not yet lost her eyesight, but the inevitability of it looms. Monique lost Lenny four years ago, but reminders keep
    the sense of loss immediate and pinpoint-painful. Judy, surrounded in her attic by the memories of a once-vibrant family life,
    remembers anew all she has lost. Are sharp, sudden, and unexpected reminders of a loss a natural part of the grieving process? 
    
12. Why do you think Lenny added the thirteenth item—bungee jumping—to the bucket list? What final message did he wish to convey
    to the woman he loved? 
    
13. Judy and Becky know about Monique’s “talks” with her dead husband long before they confront her in Italy. Why did they choose
    this particular time to let Monique know they are aware of her behavior? What did they hope to accomplish by exposing the
    fact that they know her weakness? 
    
14. Why is Monique so angry at Lenny when she’s trying to lose “his” money at the casino? Do you think Lenny knew how much this
    particular task was going to bother her?  
    
15. Kiera’s reaction to the announcement about the bucket list trip takes Monique by surprise. Should Monique have put the trip
    off for another year, when Kiera would be in college?  
    
16. Despite the anxiety attack and the strong urge to go home, Becky decides to fly to Zurich with Monique to do one more item
    on the bucket list. During the rappelling Becky discovers that she has no fear of the height or danger of the activity. In
    fact, she enjoys it with heightened sensitivity. How does this, and the crazy evening to follow, change her mind about leaving? 
    
17. Judy is in many ways a woman torn in two—between “wanderlust,” a very fundamental urge to explore new places and “nesting,”
    a just as fundamental urge to revel in her home, neighbors, and friends. Do you think the choices she makes at the end of
    the novel will satisfy both aspects of her character?  
    
18. Becky is, at heart, an artist and a romantic. How do you think she will channel her artistic gifts as her sight slowly dims?
     
    
19. Becky is a woman who still nurses wounds left by the death of her father and still feels the uncertainty of the subsequent
    upheaval. She has become fiercely independent in order to protect herself from further pain. Unfortunately this also prevents
    her from asking for help when she needs it. How do you think this quality may have exacerbated the situation between Marco
    and Becky?