Friendship on Fire (38 page)

Nate's eighteenth birthday was only a fortnight after exams. I found out through Amelie, of all people. I guess it ended up helping me that I made sure I kept my promise to Nate from the beginning. For leaving me ignorant, Nate would pay. The sneaky sod didn't tell me the exact date of his birthday and I hammered him for it during soccer practice one Wednesday afternoon.

‘What? You didn't want me to make a fuss of it? That's the most stupid excuse I've ever heard, Nathaniel Frederick. Pathetic,' I said, kicking the ball extra hard at him. It sailed over his head as he rolled his eyes and spread his hands wide.

‘Too bad, go get it,' I shouted.

He shook his head and turned to jog after the ball, which had made its way solidly on to the field below us.

When he came back, he called, ‘So now you know. And I don't want a big deal.'

The ball was sent back to me perfectly, just enough to my right so I could stop it easily with the inside of my foot.

‘I'm pretty sure that's up to me, not you,' I spat back. ‘So you'll take what I give you and enjoy it, got it?' I passed it back to him and watched him laugh at me.

‘Really. What sort of birthday present are we talking about here?' he asked, eyes lighting up with mischief.

‘That's for me to know and you to find out,' I replied, sticking my tongue out at him. He smiled my favourite smile; slightly crooked and full of boyish charm.

He had cheered up significantly since he found out about the break up. Possibly to make himself feel better, he took it upon himself to continue teaching me, step by step, the things I needed to know about loving someone. I blushed thinking about all the things we talked about and did together, but I knew it was getting to a point where there would only be one more step left. It was natural, inevitable, enchanting.

Not long after, I decided the time would come on his birthday. It seemed fitting and it would be a great surprise for him. And a great present. I was ready for it. I felt confident in us.

The main thing left to decide was; did I tell him beforehand to warn him? Or not?

Do I tell anyone?

June
Dear Diary,
I'm so in love. I know I say that every time I write, but it's true. I can't help the things that stick in my head and heart. I've just found out it's Nate's 18th birthday in a fortnight. I don't know what I can get him that he doesn't already have, except one thing … if you catch my drift.

I'm scared. Petrified, even. Fine, I'm shitting myself, happy?

I don't know anything. I don't know how to act, what to wear, what to expect. I don't know whether I should be buying the protection or telling him, or going to the doctor … the idea of putting pills into my body freaks me out a bit, but I guess latex should too.

It all sounds gross. If I'm going to go through with this I'll need to mature more beforehand. I can't behave like a five year old in front of him.

I need to learn to talk about it. If no one knows, who do I talk about it with?

Great idea. Glad we had this talk.

Scaredy-cat Daisy. No kisses.

The boy's sky blue eyes pierced mine. He looked nice. The freckles on his nose and cheeks only added to his charm. 
Someone who loved him had paid particular attention to his
school uniform; it was flawless; his shorts and shirt pressed to
perfection.

He waited patiently for me to answer him, hands in his
pockets. I, on the other hand, held on to the shoulder straps of
my oversized school bag, unable to make a firm decision either
way. As usual, I could see both sides of the proposal.

The boy shrugged and smiled at my indecision. Straight
white teeth flashed across his mouth, lighting up his face, and
I immediately felt drawn to his friendly, easy going persona. I
nodded and we started walking. He asked plenty of questions
to make me feel comfortable, which I appreciated.

There was one problem. I wasn't sure where we were going. 
We were dressed for school, but why were we walking on empty
dirt roads with only horses surrounding us? The buildings were
dark and unfamiliar.

Something small and hard poked into my hip. He was offering me food. What was it? Pink, hard to chew, and sweet. I
thanked him and kept walking, wishing I knew where I was.

From our left, an older boy in a purple uniform with matching cloak, riding a horse, blocked our way.

‘I've told you not to come here,' the boy next to me said
confidently to the older boy on the horse.

Nate? What was he doing here?

‘Try to stop me. I deserve to be here just as much as you,
Roman,' he replied, staring down at him arrogantly. This was
Roman? I shook my head with confusion.

Nate didn't recognise me, and why would he? I was twelve
years old.

‘No, you don't. I'll protect everything important to me at
all costs. Last warning.' As he spoke, Roman grew until he
reached the same age as Nate. Armour appeared across his body
and a horse at his side. Now I was the only one left in school
uniform; a little girl watching two men fight in some strange
medieval charade.

A crowd started cheering all around my head. I was standing
in the middle of a jousting competition, the green and purple
competitors at either end waiting for me to move out of their
way. Their wooden jousting sticks were perfectly sharpened for
the occasion, resting across their horses' necks.

‘Wait,' I screamed, not understanding what was happening.

A burly guard dragged me out of the way while I watched
in horror as the horn blew and the official flag went down. 
The horses accelerated excitedly and the riders rose up in their
saddles, poised to strike. Only their eyes were visible through
their helmet vents; cold, hard, concentrated.

I looked up into the stands for a sign of a leader to petition
to. Under a shaded gazebo, on large wooden chairs, sat what
looked to be the royal couple hosting this ghastly event. They
seemed slightly familiar. The female had striking light brown
hair and a petite build.

She caught my eye before I had time to look away. She
stared at me with cold, green eyes. Trapped under her gaze, I
witnessed her morph into a different person with more extreme
features; a paler face, white hair, glassy eyes.

I heard thundering on either side of my head and broke
 
her hold on my eyes just in time to see Roman and Nate crash
into each other.

My vision blurred.

My hands clung to bars in front of me, steadying my weak
knees. When was I put into a cage? When was I put on top of
a mountain over the ocean? If someone wanted me dead, this
was a perfect way to finish me off. Craning my neck, I tried to
measure the distance between me and the ground.

A speck a few hundred metres below my birdcage grabbed
my attention. Purple and green cloaks flashed and mingled in
the dirt, each trying to gain the upper hand. What were they
doing now?

My heart thudded hard. Maybe one of them was coming
to save me.

I hugged myself around my shoulders. They were bare.

What now?

The school uniform was gone. What remained was an older,
more womanly body, with long hair and an old fashioned dress
cut perfectly off the shoulders. It was white.

Who was I? Where was my family? Why were the boys
constantly fighting?

Suddenly my hair clung to my neck and forehead. I was
covered in moisture. Looking up into the sky, I tried to see if
rain was coming. There was nothing but thick, silver fog.

The cage door swung open. It hadn't been locked at all. 
Without hesitating, I jumped out of my prison and fell, screaming, through the fog, down the side of the biggest mountain
I'd ever seen.

o my disappointment, my friendship with Roman continued to be a great mystery to me. I felt like I'd been blacked out of his life, like I didn't mean anything to him anymore and there was nothing I could do about it.

I'd assumed his parents would support him if I went over there demanding answers. On the other hand it was highly unlikely that he would have told his parents anything; being a boy and all.

What could I do? I felt bad about being so hard on him this time last term, since our last big fight. Of course he'd be protective of me having a boyfriend. He was my best guy friend. He should want to see me happy.

The dream I had a few nights ago flashed into my mind again. I'd woken up in such a sweat; I wouldn't be surprised if I'd dehydrated all the water in my body in one nightmare.

I couldn't get back to sleep. Questioning the meaning of such a dream tormented me and the only thing I could think of to rid myself of it was to talk to Roman. Maybe it was my mind's way of telling me that I needed to make it right with him.

A light bulb went on in my head. The perfect idea.

Who would know Roman better than James?

But where to find James without Roman knowing? I had to corner him. And fast.

My grand plan was pretty much to stalk him until he was alone so I could plead with him to tell me everything he knew about Roman's current state of mind. After all, James liked me. I wasn't weird and he knew that.

He was my answer.