Read From Fame to Shame Online
Authors: Veronica Blade
From Fame to Shame (11 page)
Actually, I was similar to Pete, in a way, putting my own desires above someone else I claimed to love.
Jumping onto the sofa, I covered my face as shame ravaged me. How could I ever look Jackie in the eye again?
Tomorrow, I’d end it with Dallas.
Wait. Who knew if I’d even see Dallas tomorrow? It’s not like he’d asked me if I had plans. Maybe he had other things lined up. Then I’d end up agonizing over it until I ran into him again.
But he was awake
now
.
I darted into the hallway and knocked on his door. He opened it straight away, a slow smile spreading over his face at the sight of me.
I backed away and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I really am. But I can’t do this.”
“Jackie, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t see you like that anymore. This has to end. Now.”
“Fine. We’ll take it slower, like you said earlier.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I mean, I can’t go there with you. Ever.”
His brows lowered. “Because of Pete?”
Not directly. As I struggled for an appropriate answer, my gaze drifted to the cream colored walls of the corridor.
Taking my silence as confirmation, his face fell. “I don’t get it. We have a connection. You feel it too.”
Dallas was right, but we were over before we’d really even begun. To my horror, my chin quivered. “I’m so sorry.”
“If that’s the way you want it…” He looked wounded.
“Yes.” I dashed inside Jackie’s condo and slammed the door.
I’d known from the start that pretending to be Jackie would be a bad idea. If only that knowledge would take away the pain in my chest.
* * * *
“Maddie!”
The earth moved around me and I braved the bright sun against my bleary eyes.
“Maddie, what the hell?”
My blurred vision focused. Jackie was sitting on the bed at my hip, waving several sheets of paper.
“Can you explain how you were out on a date, looking all cozy with Dallas, after our last conversation? While you’re at it, tell me why he’d write a freakin’
song
for you.”
Jackie thrust the papers at me. I didn’t need to look at them. I knew what was there — photos of Dallas and me.
“Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him. It would be too weird, Maddie.” She scowled, but it sure beat the anger I’d expected.
I propped myself up by my elbows. “I didn’t. I promise.”
“Why go out with him at all?” Jackie’s voice caught and she looked defeated as she pressed a finger to each temple.
“It was uncomfortable here with no friends or family.” I sighed. “He made it bearable. I didn’t expect hanging out with him would lead to kissing. I really didn’t.”
“But you did kiss him, Maddie. Do you realize what this means? I’m going to have to clean up this mess. I can’t keep seeing him. You didn’t… you didn’t tell him the truth about our switch, did you?”
“No!” I leaned forward off my elbows. “And don’t worry, I ended it last night.” Even if I could face Dallas again and even if I had Jackie’s blessing to confess, it’s not as if he’d want me after finding out I was a big fake.
She released her breath in a whoosh. “Thank God.”
“Is that why you’re back, to avert a Dallas disaster?”
“No.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “I realized that hiding isn’t going to get me what I want.”
“True, but you don’t need to rush it,” I said. “Maybe I shouldn’t go just yet, in case you need anything.
“Stay, if you like. I always love having you around. But don’t do it for me. I’m okay now,” Jackie insisted.
“After just a couple days?” I shook my head. “I don’t know, Jackie. You were pretty upset when you left.”
“I’m not saying coming back is easy. You’re right, I was really upset. And poor Mom and Dad spent a lot of time listening to me whine. But once I got through that, I was more objective.”
“What did you figure out?” I asked.
“Hiding from my problems isn’t making them go away. In fact, the longer I stay away, the more screwed I am. I need to get back in the game if I want that part in
Winter’s Edge
.”
“Are you sure you’re up for that?” I took her hand in mine.
“It was good to get away and regroup. I feel stronger. Pete was a jerk who doesn’t deserve me, but wherever I go, I can’t change what happened.” She lifted her chin. “I
will
own that role. I’m going to have to fight for it though and I can’t do that from our parents’ house.”
Yep, Jackie Bloom was back.
* * * *
Jackie didn’t keep much food in her kitchen, but we managed to scrounge up a decent breakfast. After she repeatedly assured me that she was going to be fine, I gathered what few belongings I’d brought and we said our goodbyes.
“Hey, don’t forget this.” She thrust a car key into my palm. The Tesla key.
“You brought my Beetle back. I don’t need this.”
“I promised it to you. A deal’s a deal.”
I screwed up my face. “But you love that car. I can’t take it.”
She smiled and backed away when I tried to return the key. “But you love it
more
. And you deserve it after walking the red carpet. You really rocked it, sis. I looked amazing.”
I rolled my eyes. “What am I going to do with a car like that in Hemet?” Hemet… I’d be there soon. And further away from Dallas and any chance of being with him. But whether I lived in Hollywood or Hemet, we had zero future. Still, the thought of getting in a car and leaving made my chest ache.
“Not my problem.” She grinned. “Park it in the garage, if you want, and visit it every day. I don’t care. It’s yours now.”
The car was a small consolation for losing Dallas. “Fine. I’ll hold it for you. When you’re ready to have it back, let me know.”
“I’ll just go buy something else.” She closed the distance, flung her arms around me and squeezed.
In a matter of minutes, I’d be driving away from Dallas. My eyes watered and I sniffed.
She drew back and studied my face. “Are you okay? Second thoughts about leaving?”
Staying was a bad idea. Besides, if Jackie and I couldn’t be seen together, I’d be stuck in her condo all day. I already knew what kind of trouble that would lead to. But no way would I burden Jackie with my Dallas crush. I didn’t want her to feel guilty — she had enough to deal with.
I forced a laugh. “Oh, please. You know how I hate this city.”
“Okay. Drive safely,” Jackie ordered. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
During the elevator ride down to the underground parking, I sent Stella a goodbye text. Then I started up the Tesla and mentally said goodbye to Hollywood and Dallas.
* * * *
My chest ached and my vision blurred as I drove back to Hemet.
Dallas was just a guy and there was no shortage of them around. Millions of guys all over the world, right?
But none of them were Dallas.
Stupid Dallas. Why couldn’t he be more like Luke Holtz? I wouldn’t have had a problem leaving Hollywood then. But no. Dallas had to be generous to his fans, an amazing family guy, an incredible singer and he just
had
to write a song for me. To make it worse, he was sexy as hell and a fantastic kisser.
Oh, yeah, Hemet was over populated with guys like that. Not.
I wanted to turn the car around, spill everything to him, and beg his forgiveness for lying about who I was. I couldn’t though.
I needed to snap out of it. I’d only known him a few days. Not nearly long enough to fall in love. No way.
Still… that’s exactly what it felt like.
I’d get over him — eventually. In the meantime, I was a long ways from not wanting Dallas.
Chapter Eight
I grabbed a fresh tissue and wiped my eyes. I’d been up in my room since I got home hours ago, wishing I were in Hollyweird and missing it. Missing Dallas.
And there had been sobbing involved. Lots of it.
Curling up against my pillow, I eyed my cell I’d thrown on the bed earlier. I wanted to call Dallas just to hear his voice, but I’d never even gotten his phone number. Jackie would have it. I couldn’t ask her for the number of the guy who’d dated and dumped her though.
“Sweetheart?” my mom called through my bedroom door.
I sniffed and dabbed my eyes, so she wouldn’t know I’d been crying. “Come in.”
The door opened and she poked her head in. “You’ve been home for a while. Don’t you need to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.” I gave her a weak smile. “But, thanks.”
She sat on the edge of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” I wrinkled my nose. “Not really.”
My mom folded her hands and stared into her lap. “Jackie came home and cried the entire first day.”
“Yeah, she needed a break.”
“And now you’re doing the same thing. She told me what happened with her, but that doesn’t explain what’s going on with you.”
“I want things I can’t have.” Being more specific than that could lead to Jackie finding out I’d seriously fallen for her ex. She’d feel guilty and I didn’t want that for her.
“Did you… do you want to move there?” my mom asked.
Did I? I missed Stella. And pretending to be Jackie made me realize how much I’ve missed having my sister close by. But did I want to live in Tinseltown? Living there, but not being with Dallas would be too painful. “No.”
“Okay.” She remained silent for what seemed like minutes, then rose and kissed me on the forehead. “When you feel like talking about it, let me know. Lasagna’s in the oven, but I need to make a quick run to the store before dinner. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Thanks, Mom.” That’s what I loved about her — she never pushed and would wait patiently until we came to her in our own time.
After giving my hand a pat, she slipped from my room and closed the door. Moments later, I heard my mom’s car drive out of the garage.
I’d known Dallas only a few days. What I felt couldn’t be love. And it was a good thing too, because he’d never love me back. I was the girl who’d lied to him and pretended to be someone else. That kind of betrayal was a crappy start for any relationship. Even if he did forgive me, that didn’t automatically mean he’d want to date me.
If the guy I’d lied to and left behind were Luke Holtz, I wouldn’t have to wonder what he’d wanted. Luke wouldn’t go for plain Maddie when he could have a star like Jackie. Dallas was different though. He hadn’t been into Jackie the first round.
Which brought be back full circle. Had we stood a chance if he’d known who I really was? The thought killed me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, determined not to start bawling again.
A car engine idled in front of our house, then suddenly stopped. Not driven away, but shut off. It didn’t sound like my dad’s car though, or my mom’s. Yet, it sounded familiar. Like my Beetle, which I’d left at Jackie’s.
Since our only neighbors lived far enough away that I needed binoculars to see them, whoever just parked at our curb had come for me or my parents.
I sprang off the bed, looked out the window and saw my Volkswagen Beetle hugging the edge of our lawn. What was Jackie doing back? Something was wrong.
Dashing out of my room, I zoomed down the stairs, darted outside and tore across our lawn, practically skidding to a halt just a few feet from my car.
Not Jackie.
Dallas climbed out of the car and planted himself directly in front of me. He stared down at me, his lips thinned to a straight line, his gray eyes dark.
“Dallas, what are you doing here?” I blurted without even saying hello. “Is everything okay?” By the look on his face, everything was
not
okay. The coward part of me wanted to retract the question and run back inside.
The scowl lessened just a bit. “We need to talk.”
“Uhm… How did you get the key?” He’d gotten it from Jackie, obviously. Did that mean he knew I wasn’t her? And why drive my car, instead of his own? But the bigger question banging around in my brain was why he’d come.
“Jackie gave it to me. And your address.”
So he knew the truth. “Did she tell you or did you figure it out?” I asked.
“Jackie enlightened me.” Dallas’s jaw tightened. “But I want to know why
you
didn’t tell me?”
“I-I couldn’t. It wasn’t my secret to tell and I swore to Jackie.” But I still felt sick to my stomach for betraying him. Avoiding his gaze, I folded my arms over my chest. “A promise is a promise.”
“Really, Maddie?” he growled. “You were just going to let me go? The last few days meant nothing to you?” He fisted his hands at his sides.
