From The Ashes (Life After War) (47 page)

Adrian studied her from just inside the flap, where the shadows were the darkest. His gaze narrowed in on her sweaty skin as she finished the first set and began another. The pushups were hard on her, shoulder muscles straining, but she didn’t give up until she’d done it. Her actions spoke of someone determined to accomplish. Her work days included time here–training and learning–and even her off days found her doing something either for the camp or with them. She spent time with her son, did her shifts, volunteered, and when those things were put with everything she’d given him, it was enough to make him take notice.

He liked her routine, her attitude, her ability to calm him.... and then there was the way her hair shone, the way she smelled. He couldn’t get her out of his mind.

Lee watched Adrian take up a place in the shadows, but was saved from talking by their radios crackling.

“
Hello, Safe Haven. This is the first transmission of American Waves. Good evening, good wishes, and good will to you all.”

Having already read the first script before giving a copy to Adrian, Lee tuned it out, but all around him, people were stopping to stare at radios as Kevin’s smooth timbre began lulling them into slumber. It was a brilliantly clever way to quell the jumpiness on Adrian’s part.

“
We’re going to start with a request format and go from there. But first, we’ll have a few minutes of something I have personally longed for. Happy long belated Memorial Day, Safe Haven, and to everyone else out there–we salute your determination to survive, and we honor your losses.”

The sound of Taps filled their minds with ghosts and awful flashes, but Adrian had told his men things would always get worse before they got better. Starting the new radio station in respect and allowing the camp a night to grieve, would generate a new layer of scabs over those bleeding wounds. With enough moments like that, there might even be healing.

Lee wished Adrian could find some of what he was always giving his people–happiness. If the blond man lost faith, they were doomed.

3

When Angela emerged from the tent, the shadows were deep. The first thing she saw was the glow of a cherry in the darkest shadows near the tent. The smell of pot smoke came to her, along with another, sharper scent she instantly identified.

She waited, noticing the closest Eagle could barely see them. Angela frowned when Lee gave her a pointed look and turned his back to them.

“
You okay?”

“
Yes.”

She could hear that he wasn't. So much death and loneliness had him at a personal limit. “And you?”

Adrian wanted to tell her everything was 5-by, but lying was more than he could manage. “I will be.”

Angela blew out a thick stream of smoke. “Soon?”

She heard him sigh and didn’t like the misery in his answer.

“
Probably not. What I need isn't available.”

“
Is there anything I can do?”

Angela frowned. She hadn't meant to make
that
offer.

Adrian’s mouth opened, eyes already begging. “Tell me to go away and do it right now!”

Need blazed between them, raw and sharp.

Angela didn't hesitate despite the thick lust thumping through her body. “I belong to Brady. Choose a whore.”

He was gone a second later, and Angela let her feet take her to where she had wanted to be all day.

She ignored the Witch whispering of the pleasure she was missing. Marc was moving them through the levels at a pace she was comfortable with. Adrian's relief source wouldn't get that consideration, or any other, until he'd satisfied that burning need.

“
Not all men become monsters. Surely you know that by now?”

Angela didn’t answer the Witch. Let one of the others tend him. He was right–she wasn't available.

4

“
When did you know mom was the one?”

Charlie and Marc were hanging around the mess, watching to make sure the crowd didn't get unruly. There were stares and murmurs as people went by, last night’s brutal match the talk of the camp. For Marc, it was the start of another stress–one where he had to be careful not to let the inner man come forward too often. He was still denying that part of himself, not ready to face it.

“
As soon as I saw her. That was the same day I went against Mother Brady for the first time in my life.”

“
Was it hard to pick between her and our family?”

“
No. I knew she was perfect for me in ways that they could never be.”

Marc was jerked into the past. “She was my kind, long before I knew what that was.”

Charlie pushed in gently, sure his dad wouldn’t be bothered, and he observed the moment with an intense curiosity that was usually lacking when it came to the details of their beginnings. He still hadn’t completely gotten over how young his mom had been, but each moment he witnessed reinforced the bond, the irresistible need for each other. That was what Charlie was hoping for, why he was storing information, and he was delighted when Marc began rolling through it as if they were there.

“
The party was a huge success. My sister’s wedding was an event none of the family was allowed to miss. Except I did, and only my mother noticed. As soon as they cut the cake, I made my way to the backyard–to where the younger kids had been herded. I’d been happy enough working on the farm, but I’d thought about Angie a lot during our year apart and now that we were both here, I was determined to have a few minutes alone with her.

She was waiting for me as I came into the garden area, and I forced myself to ignore the happiness in her eyes. I stopped to talk with the adults I knew and made my way closer, even striking up a conversation with a distant nephew whose name I couldn’t remember.

For a while, I kept my profile to her, only turning to greet arriving family members. During these quick moments, our eyes would meet, spark. It was like we were being drawn together and when I casually left a little later, I knew she’d follow. I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but when I strolled casually onto the rear patio, she was there to close the door behind us.

“
Welcome home.”

Her greeting in my mind was sweet proof, and I studied her. “It’s good to be here.”

She wore a faded blue skirt and slightly too-adult top to match. Her eyes darkened to the same shade.

“
How long this time?”

“
A month. Then the training.”

“
Early.”

“
Yes. She senses something, I think.”

The air parted, tempting my nose with a light hint of vanilla. She smelled good!

“
And then to the farm again come spring?”

“
Yes.”

Angie was within a foot of me now, ebony ringlets swaying against the palest skin. “Then we’ll have this moment.”

I was lost.

Without hearing the words, I knew her need for me to like her was painful, and it was a relief to know I hadn’t imagined any of it. She had the family curse, and I was the only one she’d trusted with it.

That made me smirk, and I could almost sense her worries ease. Standing there beside her, my own problems weren’t gone, but they weren’t as big anymore, either.

We settled into the hard patio chairs, blocked from view by tall bushes, and our gazes remained on each other now that there was no one to hide our fascination from. Except, it was more than that, and it scared me a bit. What would happen when she was older?

“
I might be able to make it go away for you.”

“
No.”

The miserable expression vanished at my fast answer, and I instinctively knew the next half hour would mean more to me than the dirt bike I’d already found under a sheet in the garage. There were so many things I wanted to say, to ask, and she knew them because they were her questions too.

“
You won’t tell?”

“
Never. You?”

“
No way.”

My gaze swept over her, and I felt my heart tighten. She was amazing, beautiful, and I sensed that when she was older, I might beg to kiss her.

“
I’d let you.” She flushed, sparkling at me. “Later.”

I blinked in surprise at the sudden reminder of what she could do. “Okay.”

I’d asked Uncle Larry some careful questions about girls while he taught me to work on his ex-wife’s farm. I’d left him with the impression I meant my current girlfriend, Jeanie, and he’d left me with an image that filled my thoughts every night after that when I tried to sleep. He told me to be careful about age.

“
Men get old, Marcie. We age and grow bitter. Get a younger woman and be sure you really like her. You’ll be together a long time in this family.”

Now, staring at the forbidden fruit, I thought I understood. Angie had a face I’d never get tired of. My heart thudded in real pain. It was one I would miss over the coming years. There was no way my mother would let this happen, and there was only so much sneaking I could do before she found out.

“
She’s gonna start calling for you soon.”

I nodded, not unconcerned, but I’d chosen this spot with that in mind. I was allergic to the flowers Mother Brady kept out here, and it was one of the last places she’d search. First would be the garage to find out if I’d snuck away on my new gift. And I would–later.

“
What time?”

I thought hard. “Three hours, by the tire swing.” Away from everyone.

Angie grinned at me, showing those dimples, and again, her happiness jerked me into a world where only the two of us existed. It wasn’t weird, like when I flipped through the magazines in my closet, but I knew they were connected. When she leaned closer, I held my breath to keep from touching her hair.

“
I made this for you.”

It was a grass ring, the kind you handed to a friend and then yanked the top off of, except this one had been repeatedly woven around itself until it was a solid object, able to be worn.

I watched my hand go out like it was someone else’s, and I took it slowly. Our fingers touched, like silk meeting sandpaper, and I winced at a sharp flash of lightning. Where had that come from?

“
Me. Sorry. It gets out of hand when I’m... sometimes.”

I wanted to know what she’d been going to say, but I could sense her unease with the subject. She was afraid someone might overhear.

“
Did you miss being home?”

That was a hard question to answer, and I shrugged. “Parts of it.”

“
You don’t belong with them, either.”

There it was. Honesty. And, I would be expected to use it with her, I could tell.

“
It’s more like they don’t belong with me.”

She wanted to ask if she did, and I wasn’t sure what to say. If I got a vote, she would be. My mother wasn’t going to give me one.

I could steal it, though. It wouldn’t be much, but it would be better than nothing. The idea of not being around this little girl hurt me. Already, she’d found a way into my heart, and I was looking forward to later in a way I knew to be wrong, but couldn’t help.

“
I’ll fit you in somewhere,” I whispered, giving her my promise. “I’ll make you a place that no one can remove you from.”

“
And you did.”

Both males jumped guiltily, and Angela threw out a stern facade. “Let’s go have some chocolate, and you can tell me what that was about.”

Marc chuckled as Charlie sputtered.

“
Nothing, got sidetracked.”

Angela let her worries go in favor of the amusement they were both exuding. “I guess I’ll have to torture it out of you, then. Come on, get to the center table. Worst joke tells all.”

“
I have to help the vet put the dogs out,” Charlie stated, grinning a bit. “Why don't you guys go ahead?”

Both parents chuckled at the obviousness as the teenager left.

The couple spread peace as they walked through camp, but it didn’t help the tortured man watching them. Adrian was struggling in his fight with temptation, and so lonely! He waited until Angela was out of sight, then took what was available to him–one of his herd.

“
Who wants me?”

The mental call floated through the settling camp, drawing females his way in confused eagerness.

Adrian studied them harder than he usually had to and managed to draw a tiny reaction with his choice of Tracy. She was a distant member right now, quiet and mostly unnoticed. And she had the required black hair that would melt against his hands and maybe help him achieve a release. With that, his control would be back in place for a while… he hoped.

Adrian locked eyes with her, pulling, and Tracy gave a short, breathless agreement. Her one thought stole his reluctance.

“
I can smell like her, too, if you want.”

Adrian dropped his head in shame.
“Yes.”

It wasn’t against their will, but he’d never claim them. They had to feel like the whores they’d be called if exposed, but Adrian never viewed them that way. They gifted him with these moments.