From the Heart (A Valentine's Day Anthology) (6 page)

Logan smiled as he remembered her face that day. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Even that first day, he knew she was special.

Now she was his world and he was so afraid he was going to lose her.

“Ella, please,” he whispered at he brought her hand to his lips. “Fight for me. Fight for us. Please don’t leave me.”

He watched her, as he willed her to open her beautiful eyes. He longed so much to see them again.

“Look at me, Ella,” he pleaded. “Open your eyes and look at me! I need you, please.”

Suddenly alarms starting going off, and before he knew what was happening, the room was full of doctors and nurses, and Logan was being led outside.

As he stood there in the hallway, staring at the door, his heart broke. Was is losing the love of his life?

“Logan,” the doctor said as he stepped out into the hallway. Logan climbed up from the floor and braced himself for whatever he was about to hear.

“Is she okay?” He asked, afraid of the answer.

“We have managed to stabilize, Ella, for now,” he said but Logan knew that was where the good news ended. He was right. “However, her condition is deteriorating fast. We…we are running out of time.”

Logan felt like he had been kicked in the guts. Never in his life had he felt more helpless than he did at that very moment.

“I am going to call UNOS again,” the doctor said as he reached out and placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Don’t give up, not yet.”

Logan nodded and took a deep breath, before he walked back into Ella’s room. He stood by the door and watched her lying there, willing her to open her eyes.

He closed his eyes and thought about the first time he told her he loved her.

It was the day before the opening night of the show. The final dress rehearsal was going perfectly and Logan was feeling confident about the show.

He had watched Ella as she stood on the centre of the stage and he knew that he was witnessing a star being born. He also knew that no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he was falling in love with her.

They had grown closer over the weeks, spending night after night rehearing, going over lines and practising songs.

On more than one occasion, Logan caught Ella sitting at the piano, when she thought she was the only one left in the building. He would stay out of sight, and listen to her sing. She had the most beautiful voice in the world, and it captivated him.

“You have been quiet today,” Ella said as she sat in the seat next to Logan, while they had stopped for lunch during rehearsals. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he replied with a smile, as he opened his bag, took out some sandwiches and offered Ella one.

“No thanks,” Ella declined the sandwich. They sat side by side in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until Ella spoke again. “Why do you always sit in this seat?”

“Because it has the perfect view of the stage,” he explained with a knowing smile. “I can see the whole stage from here and it is easy to imagine I am surrounded by an audience in the darkness of the theatre, because this far back I am out of the glow of the stage lights.”

“Right,” she replied with a nod and a smile. “So what’s wrong?”

“What makes you think something is wrong?” Logan asked, looking at her in surprise.

“Because you have not been yourself for days now,” Ella sighed. “And today you are very quiet. So I figure there is something on your mind.”

“I am just nervous about tomorrow night,” Logan shrugged, as he considered if he could tell how he felt. “I mean, I know we are ready but I am still worried. Also, I um…actually…never mind.”

“No.” she said and playfully hit his arm. “Tell me.”

“Really,” he replied and laughed. “It’s nothing…”

“Oh you can’t do that” Ella pouted. “You can’t start to tell me something and not finish it, that’s just mean.”

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Honestly.”

“You like someone!” She exclaimed suddenly, completely catching Logan by surprise.

“No!” He laughed nervously, feeling stunned that Ella had guessed the truth.

“You do,” she pushed, excitedly. “Oh tell me, is it Jenna?”

“Look, I would rather not talk about it now,” Logan said feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Oh come on, please tell me,” she begged playfully. “You can’t leave me hanging like this.”

“You really want to know?” He asked.

“I really do,” she replied excitedly.

“Okay then,” Logan said deciding to take his chance. But just as he was about to tell her everything, Jenna called from back stage, stopping Logan before he could start.

“Logan,” Jenna called again, as she walked back on to the stage. Logan wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved that they were disturbed. “Are you ready to start again?”

“I am,” he said as he put the rest of his lunch away and gave Ella an apologetic look.

“This conversation isn’t over,” Ella said with a giggle as she got up and went back to the stage.

The rest of rehearsals passed quickly and by the time five o clock came around, Logan had decided he was going to come clean with Ella.

As they were packing things up, Logan took a deep breath and walked over to where Ella was standing, talking to two other girls.

“I was wondering if you could stay back after everyone has gone,” he said nervously as she turned and looked at him expectantly. “There are a couple of things I would like to talk to you about.”

“I can’t tonight,” she said and smiled shyly. “I have a date.”

For a moment he said nothing. He felt beyond gutted. He had waited too long and now he had missed his chance.

“Oh…oh really,” he stuttered, as he did his best to hide his disappointment. “With who?”

“Pete,” she replied. “You know, he is one of the set designers?”

“Yeah, I know Pete,” he said and forced a smile. “He is a nice guy”.

“I think so, too” she replied with a nervous laugh, and Logan could feel a pang of jealousy that she seemed so happy with someone else. “But hey, if you really need me to stay, I can cancel.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said sounding a lot more abrupt than he had meant to. Ella just stared at him, and Logan felt like a complete asshole. She looked hurt. “I will see you tomorrow”.

Without saying another word, he turned and headed to the back of the stage, leaving Ella standing there, looking confused.

“YOU IDIOT!” Logan shouted at himself once he was out of ear shot from Ella. He began to pace up and down. “All you had to say was, Ella, would you like to go to dinner? Or Ella, would you like to go to a movie? Or even, Ella I think I am in love with you!”

He turned around and his heart nearly stopped when he saw Ella standing there staring at him.

“Oh shit!” Logan said, realising Ella had heard everything.

“I was…um…” she stuttered, as she desperately searched for what to say.

“Ella…”Logan said, but he too was lost for words.

“I have to go,” Ella said as she turned around abruptly.

“No,” he replied as he stepped towards her. “Wait.”

“I can’t,” she said as she hurried towards the exit. “Pete is waiting.”

Logan just stood there and watched as she disappeared out the door.

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” He screamed again, as he kicked over a stack of props in temper.

By the time he got home a short while later, he felt miserable. He dropped his jacket in the hallway of his apartment before he walked straight through to the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator. He reached for a bottle of beer, popped the cap before he took a long sip.

He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes.

He thought of Ella standing there at the back of stage, the look of complete shock on her face. He wondered how he would ever be able to face her again.

You fucked up this time, Bryce!
He thought to himself with a frustrated sigh as he took another gulp of his beer.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Logan set his bottle down on the counter and went to answer the door.

When he opened it and saw Ella standing there, he was stunned.

“You love me?” Ella asked, looking him in the eye.

“Ella…” Logan said nervously. “You weren’t meant to hear that.”

“But you love me?” She repeated.

“Yes,” he replied, as he held his breath.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” She asked angrily. “Why now, when I have a date. I mean poor Pete, I just left him in a restaurant because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, feeling like a complete asshole. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” She asked a little softer.

“I tried to tell you how I felt,” he sighed, not knowing what else to say. “But there never seemed to be a right time.”

“Of course there wasn’t,” she replied sarcastically. “We have been together nearly every day for the past six weeks! Night after night, practising…We have spent all this time alone together and you couldn’t tell me. I don’t know what I am supposed to say or feel. I don’t know what to think.”

“Look, I’m sorry” he said feeling like a complete idiot. “I don’t know what else to say. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but I did…I do…I…I love you.”

Ella just stared at him, and he had no idea what she thinking.

Suddenly she walked towards him and to his surprise, she kissed him.

“I love you, too,” she whispered against his lips.