From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun (7 page)

Another time, when Sean, Ralph, and I took a hike out of the neighborhood just for the sake of adventure, each and every white woman we passed either clutched her purse or crossed to the other side of the street.
“I feel like snatching her bag,”
Ralphy said, scowling.
“Just to prove them right.”

Over the years, other frustrations infiltrated. Every television show seemed to feature some black person in jail or committing a crime. Every news show talked about violence in black communities. It got so Mama and I only watched cartoons and corny sitcoms.

I didn't think about white people. They were a different species, living a different life in some other place. At school, where most of the teachers were white, we were indifferent to their color. We didn't think about our teachers' private lives, where they went at night or who they went with, or if they even
had
lives outside of the classrooms. We didn't imagine their pale bodies showering each morning, thin-toothed combs raking through their bone-straight hair. We didn't contemplate what they ate or how they ate it. White, before Kristin, didn't matter at all.

Now it seemed to be everywhere. Kristin and Mama were in every single thought I had. I wondered if they talked about me, planned ways of getting rid of me. I wondered what they did together. How did Mama hold her? What did they see in each other? Why? Why? Why?

THIRTEEN·GOING· ON·FOUTREEN

Chapter Twelve

After Mama left
, I got dressed and took a walk to try to clear some of the stupid things that were racing around in my head. Like the minke whale. They've started hunting them again in Norway. The paper says they use them to make cosmetics and candles and stuff like that. It seems like nobody even cares that the world is falling apart. Not just my world, everybody's. People all the time talk about recycling this and preserving that, but nobody really cares. I don't think people even think about stuff. Not the people hunting minke whales. Not the rats eating bird eggs. Not Mama.

There's a tortoise—the star-shelled tortoise. It has these beautiful raised diamond shapes on its back. Somewhere in Sri Lanka, it's dying off. Slowly, it seems, everything and everybody and every way that used to be is dying.

“Yo, Melly Mel. Wait up!” I turned. Sean and Ralphael were running toward me, dribbling a basketball between them.

“Guess who's still asking after your surly butt?” Ralph asked, grinning.

“Who?”

“Angie Baby,” Sean sang.

Ralphy shook his head. “You sure can't sing.”

“Don't want to be a singer anyway,” Sean said. He dribbled the ball through his legs, then swept it up onto his fingers and spun it.

“She's down the block,” Ralphael said, pointing over his shoulder. “She's pretty hot for you, Mel. Let's 'bout face and make-believe we were headed in that direction anyway.”

I turned and fell into step with them, my heart pounding all the way up in my neck. Then Kristin came into my head—just shot through it like a bullet. What was the use of even giving Angie the eye anymore? It would have been hard enough to call her if things were normal. But now? There was no way I was going to bring her home to my messed-up house.

“What you been up to?” Sean was asking. His voice sounded far away, like it was floating down another block. “Earth calling Melanin Sun,” Sean yelled. When I looked at him, he repeated the question.

“Not much.” I shrugged.

“Yeah,” Ralphael said, squinting down the block. “This has been one boring summer.”

“I guess,” I said, trying to steady my voice and sound cool. “How you know Angie really likes me?” I asked. I fingered her now-faded number, still on a piece of paper in my pocket. I had memorized it a while back, but I still carried the paper around. For luck.

They both grinned.

“Well,” Ralphael began, his voice dropping even though we were still a long way from the group of girls sitting on the stoop at the end of the block, “yesterday, Sean and I were hanging out outside Pancho's and Angie and her posse came by, making-believe they had to buy something.”

Sean laughed. “They went inside and came out just as empty-handed. . . .”

“Not even a candy bar or a pack of gum,” Ralphael cut in.

“They won't be getting an Oscar anytime soon with that.”

They laughed.

“Anyway,” Ralphael continued, “they sort of stood there awhile not saying anything, then Angie asks, ‘Where's Melanin Sun?' She tried to sound all brave and grown up, but I knew she was scared reckless asking.”

“What'd you say?” I asked.

Ralphael smirked. “I told her you were around, somewhere.”

Yeah,
I thought.
Hanging with my queer mother.

“He said you were probably somewhere sticking harbor seal stamps in a book.”

They doubled over, laughing.

“You didn't.”

Ralphael bumped my shoulder. “There she is,” he said, pointing with his chin.

I scanned the group of girls. Angie looked up and half smiled at me.

“Oh.”

“What do you mean, ‘oh'?” Ralphael said out of the side of his mouth. “Say something.” He shoved me towards her.

I waved at Angie, trying to look cool. I must have dialed her number and hung up twenty times this summer. She has nice teeth—straight and white—and a ponytail of braids with bangs that curl like tiny corkscrews down past her eyebrows.

I took the basketball from Sean and turned. Like two robots, Ralph and Sean turned with me.

“What's up?” Ralph asked.

“Nothing.”

“Don't you think she's cute?” Sean took the ball from me and bounced it a couple of times.

“Yeah, she's okay. But I'm not going to talk to her with you all at my shoulder.”

We walked back to the corner. The sprinkler was on and a bunch of little kids were running back and forth underneath. I ran my hand through the water, then rubbed my face. The water was cool, soothing.

“You want to shoot a couple hoops?” Sean asked.

I shook my head. “Going back inside.”

I heard Sean mumble
homebody.

“Got some housework to do?” Ralphy grinned.

“Maybe.”

“Your mom has you doing all kinds of stuff,” Sean said. “You won't see me do no housecleaning. That's what I got sisters for.”

Ralphael grabbed the ball from him and dribbled. “Yeah, right! That's why those sisters of yours had you mopping the kitchen last night when you wanted to watch wrestling!”

Sean frowned and stuffed his hands into his pockets. We had stopped at the corner and were looking across the street into the park. Every court seemed to be taken with boys two and three times our size.

“I hate the summer, man!” I said. “Nobody has anything to do but play ball. You can't even
see
the rim until September.”

Ralphael dribbled the ball once and shot it through a fire escape rung hanging down about six feet off the sidewalk. The ball sailed through without touching the sides. Sean retrieved it, took the same shot, and missed.

“Yo, Sean, let me try to lower it a little for you.” Ralphael laughed. “Maybe I could bring it down about three feet.”

Sean gave him the finger and took another shot, missing again. He grabbed the ball after it bounced and came over to where Ralphael and I were leaning against a stop sign.

Mama's car pulled up and she and Kristin got out. I held my breath.

“Hey, guys,” Mama called, smiling.

“Hey, EC,” Ralphael and Sean said at the same time.

Kristin waved but none of us waved back. I nodded slightly. She and Mama disappeared into our building and I let my breath go.

“Who's the white woman EC's been hanging with?” Sean asked.

“Friend of hers from law school or something,” I said quickly. I snatched the ball from Ralph and dribbled.

“Kind of tasty,” Ralphael said.

“If you like white meat,” I said, jabbing Ralphael in the side. “Me? I'd be better off with something dark and lovely.”

Sean sucked his teeth. “You'd be better off with anything you can get, man!”

We laughed.

“So, Melly, your mama find a boyfriend yet?” Sean nosed. “What about that guy from the other night? Just how ugly was he?”

Maybe they knew already. Maybe the whole stupid world knew. “Very ugly. And dumb? Man, this guy was riding the rough edge of ‘vegetable.' You have anyone else in mind for her, Sean? Your father's married. Least that what he's supposed to be!”

Ralphael laughed and slapped me five. I waited for Sean's answer, already knowing what it would be.

“I'm talking about me,” he said, brushing off his T-shirt. “Me and your mother would look sweet together!”

I tried to laugh, punching Sean's arm. But the grin on my face felt like it was pasted there, like a bad Halloween mask that might fall right off and reveal the boy underneath.

Sean and I danced around in fighters' stances, jabbing at the air.

“When it turns into a real fight, you two will be sorry!”

All three of us turned in the direction of the voice. Across the street, Mrs. Shirley was leaning out the window on a pillow.

“We're just playing,” Sean said. He scowled. “She's so nosey,” he whispered without moving his lips.

“Yeah, you playing now. Wait till someone hits somebody like they don't want to be hit. You boys just stop it. No need to be showing yourselves like that!”

“I was just telling them that, Mrs. Shirley,” Ralph lied. “Just this minute I was saying no need to fight, guys. We're all brothers on this planet.”

Mrs. Shirley smiled. “Say hi to your mama, Ralphael.”

“I will, Mrs. Shirley.”

“I will, Mrs. Shirley,” Sean mimicked.

We headed around the corner, out of Mrs. Shirley's sight.

“Nah, man,” Ralph said. “That's how you have to be with her. Next thing you know, she'll be all up in my mama's face talking about how we were fighting in the street. And Sean, you know my moms will be over to your house in a quick second. Then, that'll be it for our summer. That's all I need, to be on punishment for the whole summer.”

Sean and I nodded. Ralphael had a point—Mrs. Shirley had to be the biggest see-all-know-all on the block. I wondered if she had seen Kristin coming or leaving our house. Probably. Next it would be all over the neighborhood.

We stopped in front of Pancho's. Sean threw the ball to me and ran inside.

Ralphael grinned, throwing his arm over my shoulder. “Mel, you think your moms might be a little bit off the wall? I was just wondering. Who would name a kid Melanin Sun? I swear, I never
ever
never!”

I jerked away from him, scared all of a sudden. What if Mama and Kristin came back downstairs and were hanging out outside the building? What if they were holding hands or something?

“I gotta go,” I said quickly.

Ralph looked puzzled.

“I just got to go,” I said again, heading back toward my building. “I'll catch you later.”

I got back in time to see them climbing into Kristin's car. When Mama saw me, she got out again.

“Do you want to go for a drive, maybe get some dinner?”

“I got things to do,” I said, shaking my head.

“I miss you,” Mama said, touching my cheek.

I shrugged. After a little bit of time had passed in silence, Mama sighed, touched my cheek again, then climbed back into the car.

Chapter Thirteen

I was sitting at my desk
going through my frog stamps when the phone rang a few hours later.

“Can I speak to Melanin Sun?” a girl's voice said.

“This is Mel.”

“Well, this is Angie.”

“What's up, Angie?” I said, then immediately regretted it. It sounded rehearsed because it was. I had dreamed this moment a million times and now here it was. And
she
was calling
me.
Maybe that made me lame, though, 'cause I should have been the man about it.