From the Shadows (A Shadow Chronicles Novel) (38 page)

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Mark looking at his feet, his bottom lip in his mouth as he fought to keep from
laughing. I had to admit being amused myself, as Karen had no idea that Saphrona was telling the absolute truth, and probably thought that she was referring to a web page, not an actual page of a census book.

“Well, it was really very nice to meet you, but Juliette said she was pressed for time,” Karen said then
, glancing back at me.

“Right
, we’d better get going,” I agreed, and after kissing Race’s cheek, I waved goodbye to Mark and Saphrona and then Karen and I got into her car.

As we were backing down the driveway, she said casually, “Damn, girl. Too bad I didn’t meet your brother before Saphrona
did. He’s kinda hot!

I chuckled as I shook my head. “This may sound strange to you, but those two seem to be made for each other,” I said casually, referencing the fact that they actually had been. “She’s a really wonderful person, and I’ve never seen my brother happier than he is when he’s with her.”

Karen sighed. “Well then… Who am I to mess with destiny? And hey, speaking of happy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this animated. Is it that ‘new love’ glow?”

I waited until we were out on the road and headed toward downtown to reply.
“Race and I have technically known each other since we were kids—he used to live down the street from our house and he and Mark were best friends. But he and his mom moved away when he was fourteen and I hadn’t seen him since, until a few days ago.”

“At risk of being judgmental and all, you guys got together
kinda sudden, didn’t you?” my companion asked.

I shrugged. “Some might see it that way, but to be perfectly honest, I’ve carried a torch for that man since I was a little girl. I’ve dated other guys, sure, but I don’t think it ever really died, because when I ran into him back in Cleveland we just…
clicked. It was almost as though we’d never been apart, the attraction was so instant. And thank God it was mutual.”

Karen chuckled. “I’ll say. Wish I could meet a guy that would look at me the way he looks at you. Hell, it’s the same way Mark looked at Saphrona. You can see how
strongly they feel in their eyes. I think every girl should have a guy—or another girl, if that’s your thing—that looks at her that way.”

I agreed with her and we fell into an easy conversation. I told Karen that other than the two weeks I’d spent in Cleveland, I’d live in this town all my life, and that if I ever left again, it would probably always be home to me because my brother and my parents and most of the people I’d grown up with lived here.

“Speaking of families,” she said then. “What about that family matter you left Cleveland for? Is everything all right now?”

I lightly bit the inside of my cheek as I thought about what to say to her. “To be honest, it’s gotten rather complicated,” I said finally. “Race has gotten dragged into it, unfortunately, and so has his mom. That’s why she’s coming up to visit.”

I saw that Karen was frowning. “How in the world could Race have gotten dragged into it so bad his mama’s got to come and help him straighten it out?”

“Race was defending me,” I said, giving her an abbreviation of the truth. “I guess that even though a good sixteen years have passed since she saw me last, the knowledge that Race and I are a couple makes her see me as part of her family.”

I shrugged, not knowing what else I could tell her that would make her understand without having to tell her the truth.

As we entered the downtown area, I began pointing out the local shops and landmarks, noting which were popular with different age groups. Of course, our local game and movie trading store was the most popular with teens, especially since the owner had set up stations where they could try out games. He even held tournaments once in a while. We drove by the courthouse, police station, and hospital, where I mentioned my mother worked. I directed her to the park, we went by the municipal swimming pool, and she marveled at the fact that we had a Carnegie library.

When at last we were sitting down at Bob Evans for lunch, Karen told me, “You know… I get the feeling that this place is one of those steadily expanding cities that always feels like it’s still a small town. I mean, based on everything you’ve showed me and the market research and everything.”

A server came and took our drink orders and left to retrieve them. “Do you really think Cool Beans is going to open up a shop here—I mean, is that already decided or is it just a possibility?” I asked.

“Well, according to the market research—and I forget when they actually did this study—there’s apparently real potential here. Most of the people polled seemed to really like the idea.”

I snorted as the waitress
brought our drinks, sipping my Cherry Coke as Karen ordered a bowl of chili. After I’d ordered a pot roast sandwich and the young lady had left again to place our order, I said to Karen, “Market research said we’d love a Sonic too. Look what happened there—out of business and out of town in less than a year.”

She nodded. “I think I heard about that. Something to do with an inability to keep employees, bad management, and several cases of food poisoning is what I heard—though that doesn’t necessarily reflect on the company as a whole. I actually like
Sonic’s food. I like sitting in my car to eat sometimes. Feels like I’m sitting at a drive-in, only there’s no movie.”

“I ate there a couple of times and felt the same thing!” I said with surprise. “I remember sitting there and wishing there was a movie playing in front of the car.”

Karen laughed at that, and throughout our meal we made light chatter about what else went on in town, the best nearby cities to go to for what we didn’t have, and, of course, men. It wasn’t until we were in her car and on our way back to the farm that I knew she wanted to ask a question I probably wasn’t going to like—her entire demeanor had suddenly changed, from her posture to her grip on the wheel to her sudden silence. Having a pretty good idea what she wanted to ask me about, and feeling nervous about the answer, I waited quietly for her to speak.

“Juliette,” she began at last. “Can I ask you something? It’s a personal question and you certainly don’t have to answer, but…”

I sighed softly. “Just ask me, Karen.”

Karen cleared her throat and spoke hesitantly. “Well, I’m just wondering… When I first met you almost three weeks ago, you were pretty quiet—didn’t speak unless spoken to, turned down invitations to hang out, and you were real jumpy around the guys even though I know you were trying to hide it.”

“And you want to know why?”

“Well, yeah,” she replied. “You’re so different now. I don’t know if it’s because of the new man in your life or what, but you seem, well…better. Happier, I guess. It’s like you’ve come out of your proverbial shell.”

I sighed again. What did I say to her? How did I say it—
could
I even say it? It was still hard as hell to talk about with the people I was closest to, and I knew that despite having discussed it briefly with Race and Saphrona, the subject had been mostly avoided by the two of them, my mother, and my brother because they were trying to give me the time and space I needed to be comfortable enough—to be strong enough—to face the demons of my memory.

Even now I could feel a thin trickle of panic creeping up my spine, could feel the tightening of my chest as my lungs prepared to hyperventilate. I gripped my seatbelt tightly
with both hands and closed my eyes, wishing vainly that Race was there to wrap his arms around me, to comfort me as he had when I’d had that damn flashback.

And then suddenly I
did
feel him—not his arms, of course, but his love. My education into the mysticism of my species had taught me that a bonded pair could sense great emotional distress in one another over distances, though no one could really say what the limit was as no one had really tried to test it, not wanting to be too far from their mates for any reason (the histories also said that physical pain could be felt at great distance—another thing that no one had ever desired to test). I knew we were still a couple of miles from the farm, yet I could feel Race through our bond, his love and concern for me, his desire to make it all go away.

“Shit, Jules, I’m sorry,” Karen was saying. “I shouldn’t have asked, you’re obviously still—”

“I was raped,” I said on a huff of breath. “Kidnapped by two assholes, beaten and tortured, and then raped.”

In the following instant, I felt the car suddenly decelerate. Opening my eyes, I looked over to find Karen with one hand on her mouth, tears falling from her eyes.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “I am
so
sorry.”

A car behind us honked, causing Karen to shake her head and pick up the pace again. We accelerated toward the speed limit while she wiped at her eyes. “Thank you, Karen,
” I said, “but I’m all right now. At least, I’m getting there. Most people wouldn’t think so, but running into Race again after all these years and realizing that we had feelings for each other has helped. It’s helped a lot. I’m getting better, so don’t feel sorry for me, okay? Really, it’ll just piss me off.”

My companion loosed a brittle laugh and sniffled. “Well, I hope to fuck those bastards are in jail and will rot there for the rest of their worthless lives.”

“Oh, they’re rotting all right—but not in jail,” I replied, and I knew that Karen would understand my meaning: that my abusers were dead.

She glanced sidelong at me, then back at the road ahead. “Rotting in hell, eh? No better place for ‘
em.”

Karen didn’t ask me how my attackers had died. She didn’t ask who had killed them. I didn’t offer up the information—it was in her best interests that she not know more than was necessary, and she certainly didn’t need to know that Saphrona’s brother had ripped the heads off of the men who had done more harm to my soul than they had to my body. I was just glad that she accepted that they were gone and weren’t around to do that same harm to someone else.

We drove the rest of the way back to the farm in silence, and were greeted as we pulled alongside the house by Race as he came out of the barn. Outwardly he seemed only happy to see me, but in his eyes and thoughts I could read his concern. I smiled as I got out of the car, hoping to reassure him, then turned and waved to Karen as she backed down the drive once more. A strong, warm arm made its way around my waist as I watched her go.

“Are you alright?” Race asked. “A little while ago I felt…”

“I know,” I said, turning to wrap my arms around his waist, feeling wonderfully complete when Race returned the gesture. “I felt you too, thank goodness. You kept me anchored, kept me from going back there again.”

“What happened?”

I sighed. “Karen said she could tell there was a big difference between the me she was with today and the me she met almost three weeks ago.”

Race’s arms squeezed me gently. “I take it it’s a big difference?” he asked softly.

I nodded against the heartbeat I could hear and feel thumping steadily beneath my ear. “If you had walked into Cool Beans my first week working there, you wouldn’t have recognized me, even if you’d known who I was. I was broken back then, so very broken.”

Though his arms tightened further, I brought my hands to his chest and pushed back a few inches so that I could look into his eyes. “There are still cracks, Race, cracks
that are going to take more time to fix. I still get panicked and terror claws at my throat when I think about that day…”

I paused, closing my eyes for a moment to take a breath. When I opened them again
I saw pain in Race’s hazel depths, pain I knew he suffered because I still suffered. I smiled softly as I raised a hand to cup his cheek. “But those cracks? They get smaller every day because I’m healing—and it started the day you walked back into my life.”

Finally the tightness around his eyes softened, and he lowered his head to touch my lips with his. The kiss was tender, sweet, but I could feel the emotion behind it through our bond. I knew that Race wished there was time to show me the only way he knew how that he loved me, but alas, neither of us had the time.

With a reluctant sigh, we parted. “I should get going,” he said. “I want to get to Tyler’s a little early, get a sense of the wolves as they arrive.”

I nodded. “I may as well get going myself, since I can’t go with you. Just remember, if anyone asks why your mate isn’t with you, you remind them of the importance of family and say that I’m picking up your mother from the airport. Even a simple task like that should satisfy them. Hell, some of them might even appreciate that you sent someone else instead of going yourself to pick her up. Seeing them as more important will be points in your favor.”

“There is no one in this world more important to me than you or my mother,” Race said with a snort. “But I get what you’re saying.”

We turned and headed hand in hand to the three vehicles parked off to the side
of the driveway. Race informed me that Mark had loaned him the use of his truck, which prompted me to inquire as to the whereabouts of my brother and his girlfriend.

“They went for a ride again, said something about repairing a section of fence they’d noticed was damaged the other day when they were out. But that reminds me,” Race said, stopping and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a cell phone and pressed a number, then grinned like a fool when my cell phone began to trill from my own pocket.