From The Shadows (From The Shadows #1) (12 page)

He came running into the living room. “Oh that is just my mom. Throw me the phone”.

He caught it easily, though my throwing skills were sorely lacking and I had feared it would fall to the floor.

“Hey ma, what’s up? Did you get Liam home? ...Yea let me check...” He said it in a voice that had become a bit more serious as he began talking to his mom. It didn´t sound alarming though, so I soon began zoning their conversation out and went to my computer to check my e-mail.

I had been waiting to hear from the music school about when I could start taking classes and to my joy there was an e-mail from them waiting on the first page of my inbox.

Dear Nikki Rosso,

We just read your application and are happy to inform you that we have a few classes, which will fit your needs, starting next month.

If you could please send us your mailing address we will sent you some brochures and the final sign-up sheet that you will have to return before the 6/18-2014.

Kind Regards

The School of Arts, San Francisco

Dean: Malone, Sylvia.

I wasted no time sending Nathan’s address their way and when I had clicked “Send” I began jumping up and down clapping my hands in excitement.

Nathan came back into the living room sending me a strange look as he told his mom bye and ended the call. “What is up with you?” He asked smiling softly at me, looking like he was not used to seeing me like this, and I suppose my little happy dance was quite out of character for me. I did however not care. I was so happy that I would finally be doing something completely for me.

“
The School of arts
answered my e-mail” I said proudly.

“That is good news babe” He said, now smiling wider and walking to where I was standing to wrap his arms around me from behind. Then as he put his chin on my shoulder he asked what the mail had said.

I had just finished telling him when the doorbell rang letting us know our food had arrived.

We sat down and the conversation topic was changed to what his mom had wanted.

“She wanted me to come and talk to Liam, because she thinks he will listen to me more than her, and well, she just wanted to see me soon as well. I haven’t been home in nearly half a year because work has been so busy”. That made sense I guess. He was the big brother, and he was the son that had really put his past behind him and found his own path leading to success. I don’t think Nathan cared much about success, he just wanted to do well enough to make life easy and he cared about having something that was both his and which he enjoyed doing most days.

“I was hoping you would join me? I know you got a bit worried last time we talked about seeing my mom, but it would mean a lot to me if she could meet you” He explained.

“Yea, it does make me a bit nervous” I admitted. “But if it will make you happy then, I think, I can manage.”

“It really does”. He answered and then he kissed the side of my forehead making my choice of joining him even easier to make. Who would turn down a chance to make the man you love happy.

“So.. when are we going?” I asked.

“Next weekend. But only for a day”.

Okay one day didn’t sound so bad and I knew from what Nathan had told me of his family that I had nothing to fear. However I had this strange idea that parents just did not like me. I didn´t know why but I couldn´t help to blame it on my past, on the relationship I had had to my parents, which was now a non-relationship entirely. I had not seen my parents for eight years and that was partly my own choice, but also my aunts because she had tried to shield me from them ever since she adopted me when I was a 12 year old kid.

Mike’s parents had liked me as much as Mike had, which meant they would trash talk me to my face and just in general treat me like an unwanted dog. They might not have kicked me under the table, but the words had stung just as much even though that was what I had been used to from most people. Except, from my aunt. My aunt and Nathan had always been the exception to every painful truth I had learned about people.

Thinking about my aunt it all of the sudden flew out of my mouth “I want you to meet my aunt”.

Chuckling at my unexpected outburst Nathan answered “Of course bade. But actually I did meet your aunt once before I think it was a few years ago so she might not remember me though”.

“You did?” I had found that a lot of the stuff happening while being with Mike was stuff I had easily forgotten.

Thank the goddess that they did not throw Nathan off though. He knew I forgot and he seemed to understand why it happened too, a knowledge I was not completely sure I had myself.

“I have told her about you” I told him earning yet another of his precious smiles.

It felt strangely normal to sit and talk to Nathan about family and to an extent; our future. A future I no longer feared but was excited to conquer.

Nathan also told me funny stories about him and his brothers getting into trouble, and I in return told him about the few good memories I had from my childhood, all of them after I moved in with my aunt.

In the morning I woke with aching muscles and the reason for that was that we had fallen asleep on the couch while watching a late movie at the TV. I was snuggled tightly into Nathan’s arms, with my neck at a bad angle because of my makeshift pillow that was partly Nathan’s arm and partly the armrest on the couch. I tried carefully to wiggle myself free, but when my neck hurt I moaned out, and that made Nathan stir and pull me even tighter into his body.

He yawned and then said “Where are you going?”

“I’m just getting up; we slept all night at the couch”

“But I am so comfortable, stay!”

I furrowed my brows. How could he possibly be comfortable?   I admit I was too when I fell asleep, but the couch was narrow and left little room for moving around in your sleep, much less when you were lying two people together.

To Nathan’s disappointment I managed with a little more wiggling to get free, and as I reached the bathroom door he had sat up as well and was rubbing his eyes to wake up prober.

I went into the bathroom, hurried to strip down and got my sore body under the lovely warm spray of the shower. And as I let the warm water caress my body, I closed my eyes and wished I didn’t have to get out and get ready for work today. I just wanted a day to relax. However I was in pretty good time this morning, so I allowed myself to enjoy the warmth a little longer than I usual would and hoped it would loosen up my muscles. I began singing to myself while washing my hair and as I started rinsing out the soap I felt big warm hands finding their way around my midsection and lips at my neck. I leaned my head back and sighed. Nathan had such a calming effect on my mind and as always I relaxed into his body.

“Want me to help rinse out the shampoo?” He asked me in a soft voice while his fingers drew little calming circles over my stomach.

“Yes please” I said enjoying how caring and sweet he was.

Nathan then began massaging my scalp, and when all the soap was out he found my body wash and began rubbing it into my entire body until I was about to fall over because I was so relaxed. He managed to get some of the kinks out of my sore body as well. When he finished I insisted to pay him back, but it was not entirely meant to be a payback but an excuse for me to have my hands all over him. He never stopped to amaze me; his gorgeous physic and his caring heart. After I allowed myself to have him and allowed myself to love I had begun to feel horny as hell all the time. But not just that I just couldn’t stop touching him and wanting to spend every minute with him. I might have woken up cranky, because I was hurting and had slept like hell, but his small gestures had turned my mood to a much happier one like the flip of a switch. He was my happy. Just the knowledge that he was close by had begun making me happy.

We both got out at the same time and helped drying each other off, the entire time smiling at each other and stealing small kisses. When I began putting on make-up Nathan did leave the bathroom to go put on some clothes though. But not before trying to convince me that he could do it just as well. Of course that part was just him teasing me because he didn’t see why I needed the make-up. To him I was beautiful just as I was.

As soon as he had left I began thinking again. When did I not think? Well today it was happy thoughts. I was thinking about how good it felt to be intimate in the way we’d just been. Trust me I loved sex with Nathan, but I cherished this feeling even more. It made me feel like he really cared and it was times like this that I had no doubts about his love for me. He hadn’t once asked me to repay him a favor and he cared for me without question just because he felt like it. My man was perfect. Yes I said it; MY Man!

Finishing up my make-up, I stepped out of the bathroom to go to the guestroom where my bag of clothes was still placed. I could hear Nathan on the phone in the kitchen and it sounded like he was talking about work so I zoned out and began singing again. Today I wanted to feel sexy without flashing a lot of skin; I was going to work after all, so there were things I couldn´t wear.

I decided on a tight black long sleeved cotton dress with black leggings, a red under-bust corset, with black details, and long black boots. I put on long gothic earrings with bleeding silver hearts and red crystals and hard silver, black and red bracelets. Looking into the mirror I felt satisfied that I looked good and that Nathan would like this too.

However when I walked into the kitchen Nathan looked grim so I walked over to him and asked what was wrong.

“That was my boss. There is no way that I can get out of that meeting I was talking about” he said. “I have to leave tomorrow afternoon, and I will be gone overnight too”.

“Oh..” I said feeling some of my good mood slipping away from me. “So when will you be home exactly?”

“I’m not quite sure but I will hurry the meeting along as much as I can. I promise you that”.

Nathan put his finger under my chin to force my eyes to meet his. “Babe, are you alright?”

I nodded. Yes I was okay, but I wasn’t sure I felt good about being here alone and I knew he could see it in my eyes. So he pulled me into his arms. “I can ask Shane to come stay here if you want?”

I had met Shane a few times over the years but I didn´t exactly know him. All I knew was that he was a gruff kind of guy who didn´t say a whole lot, and I knew he was one of the guys Nathan would trust with his life, which also meant that he trusted Shane to look out for me. I just didn´t know if I would feel comfortable being around a guy I didn´t know, and I also felt like I should prove myself. I was a goddamn grown up. I could look out for myself for a few days, and I had to get over the fear of Mike turning on his scary-side-switch and came after me.

“No Nate, you don’t have to, I can handle being here alone for those two days”.

He looked down at me like trying to figure out if I meant it or if I was just trying to be brave. Which to be fair I kind of was.

“But, I might ask Sasha if she is free.. Are you okay with us having a girls’ night here?” The sentence sounded wrong in my own ears, and I could see that it did to Nathan too, because we both knew I had never done girlfriends and girl time before. Girlfriends tended to dig under your facades and try to figure you out, and until now I had never felt like I had things I wanted them to see.

“Sure, if that is what you want?”

And that was how I decided to try out the whole girlfriend things. At this point I didn´t see what I had to loose, she had already shown that she knew something had gone down and said that if I wanted to talk she was there for me. It was time to test if she had actually spoken the truth. That and the fact that it meant I wouldn’t be alone, in a house that began feeling like home but still had none of my own things. And that reminded me “Nate..?”

“Mmhmm?”

“When you get back, can we try to go get the rest of my stuff?”

“Of course babe” He answered kissing the top of my head. Changing the subject he then asked “Do you want a cup of coffee before we leave?” And that was the end of that talk for the time being. We went to work and we got home and then we spend one more evening just enjoying each other and lapping enough of each other up before we had to be apart for a few days.

I had meant to talk to Sasha at work but she had not been in today, apparently she had swapped her work day with Lisa, so I decided I would call her bright an early the next morning in hope that she didn´t have any plans for the day, yet. If she was unable to hang with me then I would still have time to agree to Nathan’s offer of calling Shane to come
look out
for me. That thought made me grumble inside.

To my luck though, Sasha had no plans and she sounded like she was happy that I had taken her up on her offer, about talking, or in this case; to hang out. It also seemed like she was surprised that I actually wanted to hang with her, because I hadn´t exactly let her in or agreed to hang out much before. Part of it was because I didn´t trust people and the other part was that Mike hadn’t liked me talking to people. I think he knew it could get him in trouble if people learned about his abuse of me, and on top he preferred me submissive. I sometimes wondered if he enjoyed me being scared as well. Thinking back on my relationship with him it once more hit me how stupid and timid I had been, and as more days went I began getting surer of myself. I now saw that I never deserved his tyranny, and why I had let it go on for so long was beyond me. Why had I not seen what had been right in front of me? I guess I could keep being bothered about my past, but now I understood that it would do me no good to keep hitting myself on the head with it. And that is why I made a vow to myself that I could no longer regret stuff. What was done was done and there was no going back and changing things. All I could do was change things now, make sure I didn’t go back to what I came from. I didn´t want to end up like my mom. I can’t remember my dad ever not drinking his brains out, but I think my mom had started because she could no longer cope with the verbal abuse from my dad. In some ways I could understand why the buzz had gotten its avail to her, I just decided to choose to not have it in my life. I was stronger than that, or at least I would be.