Frost (23 page)

Oh God, did they all call me that too? I didn't even know any of these people.

I found myself staring from one jotun to the next as I sat down. What were they thinking? One of them—a slender-faced recruit I'd seen a few times up until now—grimaced at me, jutting his chin out in my direction. A clear
what are you looking at?

I could ask you the same thing, jerk.

Ducking my head, I pretended to be interested in the little, red book, flipping it open to a random page.

The chair across from me scraped on the floor, and I glanced up, already on the defense. My shoulders relaxed when I saw who it was.

Erik was wearing a leather jerkin with a thin fur collar, and he still had his sword attached to his belt. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and flakes of snow were melting in his hair.

"Perimeter patrol took a little longer than it should have. Sorry I'm late." His state of disarray was odd, though he looked cute with his hair sticking up like that. He was usually so calm and collected.

"Trouble?"

"You could say that." He frowned. "One of the guards objected to his post. He's new to the job, but..."

"But it's the elite guard," I said, repeating something Amy had told me earlier. "They're the best, right?"

I was presuming "the best" meant they weren't supposed to talk back to their commander.

"They are the best." Erik spoke with pride, though the worry on his face didn't disappear entirely. There was more he wasn't saying.

Maybe the guards were getting restless. Hadn't Amy mentioned everyone talking about the queen and what Leif had said?

The question was: What else had Leif been saying? Karina's warning from earlier rang in my ears. “
It's not if he tries something, it's when.”

My fingers curled into fists. "Maybe we should start the lesson." 

~ * ~

The first lesson was less than reassuring. Somehow, I'd pictured myself picking up on it fast. Erik glowing with pride at what an adept pupil I was. Maybe leaving the library and running into Leif, showing him he couldn't mess with me when he tried something.

None of that happened.

What did happen was a lot of frustration on my part and slow, patient coaching from Erik. In fact, he was so patient that it irritated me—though I was more annoyed with myself—and I snapped at him a few times before the lesson was over. He kept saying things like, "Embrace the jotun part of you," and "Find the place in your mind where you're holding back and let the ice flow." I had to clench my teeth to avoid telling him to shut up. I wasn't holding back. That was the last thing I wanted to do.

The harder I tried, the less it worked. I couldn't even produce a fine layer of frost. The frustrating part was that I'd done it so many times. I'd done it at the hotel, freezing the cameras. I'd frozen Lady Edda just a few days ago.

I squeezed my eyes shut, on the verge of tears, and felt Erik clasp my outstretched hand. His fingers were calloused and rough, but his grip was gentle. Everything about him was gentle and patient, and all I wanted to do was punch the walls and scream.

"Let's wrap it up for today. We'll pick it up again later."

My eyes flew open. "But I've done this before. Why can't I do it now?" The stress made my voice climb until I was almost squeaking.

A few people glanced up from their books. I shut my mouth with a snap, my cheeks burning.

"You've always done it under extreme amounts of pressure," Erik said quietly. "Think back on every time you've done it. It's always been some emotion driving you, right?"

Emotion—right. While freezing Lady Edda, I'd been furious, and during the hotel incident, I'd been running on pure adrenaline and panic. And then there was the other hotel incident...with Loki and the basin I'd turned to ice. My cheeks burned even hotter. That hadn't been fear or panic, but...something different. Did that mean Loki knew that the ice thing was triggered by emotion? If he did, then he’d known what kind of effect he was having on me.

I didn't want to think about that, because it was accompanied by a rush of humiliation and anger.

Erik didn't seem to notice I'd turned an even brighter shade of red. "Don't worry. You'll get it. It may take a while, but you'll eventually be able to do it without thinking about it. It will be second nature to you." He stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It has to be nearly dinner. Coming to the dining hall?"

I stood up quickly, tucking the red book under my arm. "I think I'm going to go look at this for a bit, maybe get someone to start teaching me how to read it. I just need... I need some time to think."

Erik face fell, and then he shrugged and his smile was back in place. "Of course. You're frustrated, I get it. Go unwind."

We parted ways at the doors to the library, and Erik briefly put a hand on my shoulder before pulling back.

"We'll have another lesson tomorrow. I promise it will get less frustrating."

I only nodded and forced a smile, and he turned away, leaving me standing in the doorway. Turning to shuffle the opposite way, I found myself clutching the red book hard with both hands. What if I didn't have time? From the sounds of it, even the elite guard was starting to question things. There was probably always unrest among the queen's subjects, but now that her own son was spreading it, it seemed to be swelling. And here I was, caught in the middle of the whole messy thing.

I was so caught up in thought that I barely registered footsteps echoing in the hall. Until the group rounded the corner and came into view.

Leif strode at the front of them, decked out in a form-fitting, black satin jacket, his sword buckled at his side, the spurs on his riding boots jingling as he walked. When he spotted me, his eyes lit up. My mouth went dry, and I faltered.

Should I keep walking and ignore him?

The woman with the ginger streaks in her hair accompanied him along with a man with shoulder-length, blond hair and a goatee. At least there were only three of them. Then again, three wolves was enough to take down a lone deer. I didn't stand a chance.

"Oh, look who it is." Leif's voice echoed down the hallway, surrounding me, rooting my feet to my spot.

The man with the goatee laughed. "It's the queen's pet." He winked at me. "Hello, pet."

Already, I hated that nickname. But the moment I let them know how much it bothered me, they’d win. Clenching my teeth, I kept my eyes on Leif as he stepped closer. He stopped in front of me, blocking my path.

"What’s the matter? Nothing to say? He raised his eyebrows.

"No. I just don't have anything to say to
you
." It was impressive how steady my voice was when all I wanted to do was burst into tears and run.

He faked a wounded expression, pressing his hand to his chest. "What have I ever done to you, Amora?" His voice was loud again. He was hoping to draw another crowd.

And we were right outside the library, so it was likely he'd succeed.

"I mean, it's not as if you're actually Amora. We had some history, Amora and I. We fought. But you're not her. You're a complete stranger from the human world." He shook his head slowly. "So, what's your issue with me? You're not still angry you couldn't land a blow on me during training, are you?"

My jaw twitched. I was clenching it shut so hard, determined not to take the bait. A shuffle from the library doorway signified the beginning of what Leif had been hoping for. He wanted people to watch.

I couldn't let it happen again. My cheeks burned as I started to walk around him, but he sidestepped and got in my way again. His eyes looked like glittering shards of ice, hard and cold. Merciless.

He smiled. "Let me escort you to your room, fake sister."

This time I did open my mouth, to protest, but Leif had already hooked his arm through mine. He started walking, practically towing me forward. My shoes slid on the ice, and it was either walk or fall on my face.

My heart jammed itself into my throat, and my entire body felt like it was going to shatter to pieces—I was shaking so hard. Could Leif feel that? I prayed that he couldn't.

We were heading in the direction of my room, but he couldn't have actually been planning to escort me there, could he? There was no way I was getting off that easily. Leif's wolves had fallen in behind us, and they were both silent. They smiled like wild animals, baring their teeth.

I should have gone to the dinner hall with Erik. I should have stayed with Charlotte all the time. Why had I thought I could walk around by myself when Leif so clearly wanted me out of the way?

Once we rounded the corner, out of sight of the library, Leif yanked on my arm, spinning me around. My back slammed into the wall, and for a few seconds, I gasped, starved for air. Light jumped in front of my eyes.

Leif's face was blurred, but I thought he was still smiling. Over his shoulders, the faces of his two wolves loomed.

"But I'm so rude," he said in a silky voice, as if we were meeting at a dinner party. His hands pressed into my shoulders, pinning me to the icy wall. "Let me introduce my companions. This is Yakira."

The woman smiled wider. She had neat, white teeth and slightly elongated canines. I could picture her ripping someone's throat out.

"Very pleased to meet you properly, pet."

Anger seared my insides, and I jerked against Leif's restraining hands. "Come a little closer and say that."

Yakira smiled and actually leaned forward, her expression eager.

Leif shook his head.

She sighed, rocking back on her heels. "But she'd be so much
fun
."

I couldn't hold the shudder back. Whatever she was picturing as "fun" probably wasn't up my alley.

"And this"—Leif gestured over his shoulder—"is Gunnar. Say hello, Gunnar."

The blond man only stared at me, but it was far more chilling than Yakira's open threat had been. His face was handsome—smooth skin and angled cheekbones—but his eyes looked dead.

"Gunnar here is a very special part of the elite team," Leif said smoothly. "He takes care of the dirty work."

Gunnar's mouth quirked up at the corner, an almost-smile, a strange and terrible expression when it was coupled with his eyes. Almost like he didn't know how.

"Assassinations, mostly."

My skin went hot and cold all over.

"And Yakira is an expert swordswoman," Leif said. "She teaches the new elite guards."

Erik's words came back to me then, hitting me full on in the gut.
Had some trouble with a guard. He was new...