Frost Hollow Hall (22 page)

Dorcas was right. It was all too much. Ever so gently, I let go of Gracie and laid the hair back in the drawer. But I wasn’t finished with the notebook yet. When no one was looking, I slipped it into my pocket.

Once Dorcas had recovered a little, she said, ‘This nonsense has got to stop before it turns us all mad.’

‘It in’t nonsense. Really it in’t,’ I said.

‘Isn’t it? Look at us all, you, me, Gracie. Even Will’s white as a sheet.’

‘I’m fine,’ said Will, squaring his shoulders.

‘Suit yourself,’ said Dorcas. ‘But her Ladyship’s in a right state, and goodness knows where Mrs Jessop is.’ Her grey eyes fixed on me. ‘So what
is
going on? You’d better tell me, Tilly. Before Mr Phelps finds out you’re here.’

My mouth went dry and I felt sicker than ever. Though what would it matter if I did tell the truth? I’d nothing to lose. Better to be honest than be branded a sneak or a thief. And besides, Dorcas had been working here during Kit’s last days, so I reckoned she knew plenty. If only she’d be willing to talk.

‘Can we go somewhere else?’ I asked, wanting suddenly to be gone from this sorry little room.

After a quick tidy of Mrs Jessop’s things, we went back to the kitchens where a scene of chaos greeted us. Pots and pans lay strewn about the floor. A chair had fallen over, and the table was awash with dishes. Gracie stiffened in the doorway. I knew what she was thinking: this looked like one of Ada’s tricks. Quickly, I put her straight.

‘I came in through that window,’ I said, pointing to the roof. And gawd, did it look a long way up! ‘But I didn’t land too neat, so it was me what made this mess, not no ghost.’

This seemed to ease Gracie a little. Dorcas, though, was less than impressed.

‘That still doesn’t make it all right,’ she said. ‘And it’ll need tidying up before anything else.’

Once the pots were cleared away, we all sat down at the table.

‘Make some tea, Gracie,’ said Dorcas. ‘And Will, try not to stare. I know we’re in our nightgowns and it’s not very proper. But it’d help if you didn’t have your mouth open.’

Then she turned to me.

‘You’d best start talking.’

‘All right.’ I cleared my throat which had gone awful dry and tight. ‘The spirit what’s been causing all this trouble, well, we reckon it’s Ada’s.’

‘Which was why you asked about her last night as you were leaving,’ she said. ‘But what’s it got to do with you now? You’ve been dismissed.’

‘The séance proved it was Ada. And now I’ve lost my job and it in’t fair.’

She looked at me in disbelief. ‘Is that why you’re here? To beg for your job back? Give me strength!’

‘No, it in’t because of that. Ada’s ghost is angry, and I need to know exactly why.’

‘Ada was a dear girl. Wilful perhaps but not
angry
 . . .’

She stopped. Seemed to hold her breath. Nervously, her eyes travelled the room.

‘What’s wrong?’ I said.

Dorcas didn’t answer. The room went very still. I felt the hair on my neck lift as the gas jets dimmed to a queer, flickering half-light. Gracie gasped, and under the table Will’s hand snatched at mine. The air seemed to thicken. It turned proper cold. Then with a whoosh, the jets flared up again. The chill vanished. And everything was normal, though my heart still beat hard in my chest.

Dorcas was the first to speak. Her voice sounded shaky. ‘Very well, so Ada might’ve had reason to be angry. God knows she was too young to die.’

‘But there’s more, in’t there?’ I said. ‘It’s right strange that her and Master Kit died on the same day.’

‘How d’you know all this?’

‘Mrs Jessop’s notebooks. It’s written down.’

Her mouth fell open. ‘And you’ve read them? Her
notebooks
? Why, you sly creature!’

She had a point; it
did
sound bad.

‘But don’t you see?’ I said. ‘Something in’t right in this house. And you’ve been here a while, so . . . well . . . maybe you know things we don’t.’

Dorcas shook her head. I hoped Will might back me up, but he still had hold of Ada’s picture and was staring at it strangely.

‘Will?’

He slid it across the table to me.

‘The light’s better in here. Looks familiar, doesn’t she?’

Picking up the picture, I saw immediately what Will meant. My breath stopped. It was there in Ada’s eyes, in the set of her jaw. The way she gazed head-on at the camera.

Dorcas leaned forward for a look. ‘Gosh! She looks so like you, Tilly! I’d not noticed before.’

I hadn’t either. And now my head was reeling.

Gracie rushed to my side. ‘Let me see,’ she said, then, ‘Blimey, you’re right! No wonder Mrs Jessop had an eye for you. She’s never nice to no one.’

‘But she loved Ada,’ Dorcas corrected her. ‘I hardly saw a more devoted mother. Except her Ladyship, that is.’

I sat back in my seat. So I looked like Ada. It wasn’t just a fancy of Cook’s, after all. Once the shock had passed, I began to see a sort of sense to it. Not many housekeepers would take on a girl who’d twice been caught trespassing. Then there were those long looks she’d given me, and the ointment for my hands, and what Cook had said about me looking like a person who’d died. All this I could just about swallow.

But what about Kit? For this was the part that stuck in my throat.

Was this why he’d chosen me to help him? All because I looked like a dead girl? When he’d appeared in my dreams, he’d held my hand for dear life. Made me believe I was the only one who could help him. Was it Ada he was really thinking of? Had he not thought
me
brave and capable at all?

I felt foolish. My eyes filled with angry tears. I’d done so much for Kit. I’d stuck my bleeding neck out for him. More than that, I’d believed in him. Believed that I was worthy of this task.
And what for?

Heck, I’d been second best in my own ma’s affections. I’d lived my whole life knowing Eliza was smarter and prettier than me. Even Pa had finally chosen my sister over me. And now once again to be in someone’s blinking shadow . . .

I took a deep breath. It didn’t help to think like this. I had to stop this nonsense, and trust what I knew to be right. Kit needed me.

Me.

A hot cup of tea was placed in my hands.

‘So, what is it you want to know?’ said Dorcas. ‘I’ll try to help but you better ask quickly – folk’ll be stirring soon.’

The tea revived me a little and I found my tongue.

‘What I really want to know about is Kit,’ I said.

Dorcas lowered her teacup. ‘I thought as much. You’ve had notions about him since the day you got here. I saw it in your face.’

Will cleared his throat. I couldn’t look his way right now. I kept my gaze on Dorcas. She’d hear the truth from me, no matter if she believed it or not. I cleared my throat.

‘I saw his spirit under the water that day I nearly drowned. And I know it sounds mad but he saved my life. His spirit’s been out there all this time, and he’s desperate to be at peace. But he can’t be because something’s stopping it. Something’s not right.’

I braced myself for a snort or a laugh. But she sat absolutely still.

‘He’s told me there’s a truth I must reveal. And I’m sure it’s here in this house. Might you know what that is?’

Her eyes slid away from me. ‘I can’t honestly say.’

‘Is it to do with Ada, do you think? I’m reckoning it is.’

Dorcas’s eyes glistened with tears. ‘Ada got sick, and when they knew it was scarlet fever, Lady Barrington panicked. She was terrified for Kit, so she sent Ada away to one of the workers’ cottages on the edge of the grounds.’

‘To stop the infection spreading?’ Will chipped in.

‘Exactly. Mrs Jessop was banned from seeing her, even though it was very likely that Ada would die.’

I thought for a moment. ‘Which might be why her spirit’s so angry. Then what happened?’

Dorcas sighed heavily. ‘That day’s such a blur to me I’m not sure I’ll remember it right. You see, we were all worried sick about Ada, then Master Kit drowned. We were in complete shock. It was too much pain for one household to bear.’ She sniffed. ‘I reckon it still is.’

To think all this happened on the very same day. It shocked me to the core. Dorcas looked pale as a ghost herself and had fallen silent, so I pulled out the notebook. What Dorcas couldn’t tell me, I’d surely find in here. As I went to open it in my lap, she tutted.

I looked at her steadily. ‘I know you think this is snooping, but I have to find out what happened that day.’

I turned the pages. Only when I got to Monday February 6th, there was nothing there. The dates jumped from Sunday 5th straight to Tuesday 7th. The binding looked puckered. I peered closer then shrank back in my seat, flummoxed.

The page had been torn clean out.

34

Hidden

That page might be anywhere, if it still existed at all. And I doubted that it did. Most likely, it was just a heap of ash in a grate somewhere.

‘Bet Mrs Jessop’s got it stuffed down her bodice,’ said Will. ‘And I’m not searching her, so don’t ask.’

He pulled a face at Gracie, who tried hard not to giggle. I didn’t see much to laugh about.

‘That in’t helpful talk,’ I said, irked that we’d got this close only to reach a dead end.

‘But
why
would she tear it out?’ said Gracie. ‘No one went near those notebooks. Why would we? It’s only Dorcas and the footmen what can read well enough.’

It was a cracking good point. And a little part of me felt glad that I knew my letters, but the gladness didn’t last. Maybe Mrs Jessop wanted to forget that day, to rip it out of her mind, so to speak. Except it didn’t work like that. You couldn’t make yourself forget people because it hurt too much to think of them. I knew that very well.

No.

Something had been written there, something she’d wanted to hide. The tear looked fresh and white. Which might mean she’d only just done it.

‘I’d better tell you,’ said Dorcas, suddenly.

We all looked at her.

‘What I mean is . . . someone did go near the notebooks the other day.’

‘Who was it?’ I said.

She let out a long breath. ‘Me.’

I was taken aback. Hadn’t
she
just given
me
a dressing down for reading Mrs Jessop’s notebooks? What the heck was this all about?

I went to speak but she held up a hand to shush me. ‘I was trying to hide it, the one for February 1871. Rumour was Madame Martineau was after details about the day Kit died, to help her look authentic at the séance.’

‘So you’re saying you took the page?’ I asked.

‘No, not quite. Mrs Jessop caught me red-handed. I hadn’t read any of it; it didn’t even cross my mind to. But it didn’t look good, me in her office like that, snooping through her things. I told her straight out what Madame Martineau was up to, and I think she believed me. Only then she turned quite strange, and I was glad to leave the room.’

‘What d’you mean, turned strange?’

‘Sort of panicky, I s’pose. Not that I blame Mrs Jessop; no one wants their private journals read, do they?’

‘Maybe she’s got something to hide,’ I said. ‘And where’s she taken off to, anyway? Don’t
that
strike you as queer?’

‘Mrs Jessop’s not been right since Ada died,’ said Dorcas. ‘But this séance has certainly stirred things up again.’

‘Maybe she just went to Ada’s grave,’ said Will.

Dorcas raised an eyebrow. ‘What, all night? In this weather?’

The mere mention of the place made me shiver. No one in their right mind would go there, surely. Not in the dead of night, not even to lay a single snowdrop.

Somewhere down the passageway, a clock chimed the hour. Dorcas got to her feet. ‘I’m sorry but you’ll have to go now. Mr Phelps’ll be down any minute.’

At the back door, she pulled back the bolts and turned the key.

‘Take care. But don’t come back here again, not if you know what’s good for you both.’

Gracie hugged me tight. ‘God bless, Tilly. And good luck.’

As we stepped out into the courtyard, the stars were already fading, and the trees were black, spidery shapes against the sky. The back door closed softly behind us.

‘That page might still exist, you know,’ I said.

Will shook his head. ‘Not a chance. She’ll have destroyed it. Especially if it’s as important as we think.’

‘But she writes down everything. That’s what housekeepers do. And she’s kept it all this time, remember.’

‘No,’ said Will. ‘She’s nervous. She’ll have burned it. She’s covering her tracks.’

‘Perhaps.’

Except I couldn’t quite believe it. What if Mrs Jessop wasn’t covering her tracks? What if that page was out there somewhere, waiting for someone to find it?

And then I remembered her antics at the ice house yesterday. It had to be worth a shot.

‘Got your lantern still?’ I said to Will.

‘I left it out here somewhere.’ He looked about him. ‘Here it is!’

‘Save your tinder ’til we get there. Come on. This way.’

*

We headed for the lake. It was a job to find the path, never mind follow it, since the snow came over the tops of our boots and was frozen hard to a crust. It took us an age, and by the time we reached it, the sky was already pale grey. The lake was silent as always, though the ice looked dark, as if the water was pressing up from underneath.

‘Rain’s on the way,’ said Will, looking up at the clouds. ‘That ice won’t hold much longer.’

‘I hope you’re right. Come on.’

Under the trees was the ice house. As soon as Will saw it, he understood.

‘You saw her here yesterday, didn’t you?’ he said.

I nodded.

‘Makes sense. Ada’s grave is over there, see?’

All I saw was the stone wall where I’d found my flint, and beyond it the copse where Mrs Jessop had been.

‘Can’t see no graves,’ I said.

‘Further on. Look!’

I saw then where he was pointing. About fifty yards up ahead was a second, higher wall, the very same one we’d clambered over just a few days ago as a shortcut to Kit’s angel. On the other side of it, hidden from view, would be all those sad little graves. I shivered at the thought.