Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) (15 page)

After a moment of silence Jonathan said softly, “I’ve missed this.”

Kina had too, but they both knew why they hadn’t been sleeping in the same bed. It was the big hairy gorilla in the room they’d both been ignoring. He’d said he wanted them to get to know each other before making love, but he’d also said he wanted to wait until she was ready to give herself to him. To be with him. He wanted her to be able to say with one hundred percent conviction that she wanted to be with him.

“I’ve missed it too,” was all she could say in response.

Jonathan didn’t let the subject drop as Kina hoped he would.

“Have you thought anymore about coming to Arizona with me, once the show is over?”

Kina shifted in his arms until she rested her chin on his chest. She could just make out his face. As much as she wished they didn’t have to have this conversation, she knew it was time. Hell, it was past time to have it. “I’ve thought about it,” she hedged, still not knowing what she’d tell him.

“What’s holding you back, hon?” Jonathan asked tenderly. “Talk it though with me, let me help you, ease your fears.”

“But you’ll find reasons for me to move, no matter what I say,” Kina said in frustration. “How can I talk it through with you when I know you’ll try to convince me to move down there no matter what reasons I come up with for not wanting to?”

Jonathan was silent for a long while. Kina turned back on her side and rested her head on his shoulder again, keeping her arm thrown over his rock-hard abdomen.

“I want you with me, Kina,” he finally said. “I want you with me more than anything. I’d do just about anything to get you there with me, for you to wantto be there with me. But I don’t want you to agree and then regret it later. I want you to move to Arizona and b
e
sur
e
it’s where you want to be. I could tell you the streets were lined with gold there and I know you’d still only come when you’re ready.”

Kina chuckled. It seemed like he did know her after all.

“I love you, Kina.” Jonathan threw it out there like a grenade. It sat between them, scary and exciting at the same time.

After hearing no response from her Jonathan continued. “I want you to know. Just as I told you earlier, you’re mine, and I want to make sure you know how I felt. I’m not asking you to move and change your entire life on a whim. You’re it for me. Period. If you want to do the long-distance thing for a while, I’ll do it, but know I ultimately want you with me. In my house. In my bed. You’re the one for me. You’re m
y
On
e
. I want to marry you. Spend the rest of my life with you.”

Kina started to panic. She wasn’t ready for this. She hadn’t known Jonathan long enough. She tensed.

Jonathan ran his hand over the small of her back soothingly. “Don’t freak, hon. God, I wasn’t going to go there tonight, but I don’t know how else to make sure you know I’m serious. I’m not some young college kid who wants a one-night-stand. I want you. Just you. All of you. But only when you’re ready.”

Kina was still silent. She couldn’t get any words out. On the one hand she wanted to immediately say yes to whatever he suggested, but the more logical and stubborn part of her was screaming at her to slow down, that this couldn’t be real.

Jonathan kissed her forehead gently and kept his lips on her skin. She could hear him breathe in deeply, as if inhaling her essence into his soul. “Shhhh, just relax, love. No pressure. Let’s get through the rest of this show and then we can talk again if you need to. I won’t bring it up again, but I’m not sorry I told you how I felt. Sleep now. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

Kina came awake slowly the next morning. It was still dark, as the sun rose much later in the morning than she was used to. She lay still and enjoyed being in Jonathan’s arms. They were in much the same position as they had been when they fell asleep; there wasn’t much room in the tent for much moving around anyway. Jonathan was on his back with his arm around her waist and she was using his shoulder as her pillow and was on her side with one arm curved over his stomach. Kina heard his light snoring as he breathed in and out. She moved her head a fraction and took in a deep breath. God, he smelled good.

Oh she knew most people probably wouldn’t agree, after all they’d spent the day hiking and working, and then part of the night in front of a smoky camp fire, but those smells intermingled with his natural scent was heady. He smelled strong, like he could conquer mountains and slay dragons. She wished she could wake every morning with his smell in her nostrils.

Kina paused. Hell. She could, if only she was brave enough. Ultimately, that was what it came down to. Was she brave enough to take the leap and trust Jonathan? She was scared. It was a frightening thought to think about leaving what she knew, her career, and leaping off a cliff into the unknown. But she knew Jonathan would be there for her. He was her parachute. So, what was holding her back? Why wasn’t she jumping at the chance to be with him?

It was because of her past. She hadn’t had good luck with relationships and she was terrified this would end up the same way, no matter what Jonathan said. She couldn’t really remember, but she knew she’d probably thought she felt the same way about Matt before she moved in with him too. She tightened her arm around Jonathan and snuggled deeper into his side.

She felt him stir and clasp her to him as he woke.

“Good morning, love,” he said sleepily. “What time is it?”

“I have no idea.”

“Have you been up long?”

Kina shook her head. “No, just lying here enjoying being in your arms.” She decided to be honest with him.

              Jonathan gave her another squeeze and kissed the top of her head. “I haven’t had any nightmares in a while,” he said unexpectedly.

Kina raised her head. “What?”

“I haven’t had any nightmares since we talked,” he repeated. “I heard what you said about it not being my fault. I even called Dean one night and had a long talk with him. I told him how I was feeling and he reacted the same way you did. I took your words to heart and decided to believe you.” Jonathan laid it all out there, holding nothing back.

“Thank God,” Kina said fervently. “It wasn't your fault. You’re so protective with me; I know you were the same with Becky.”

“Thank you, Kina. Thank you for believing in me and helping me get through that.”

Kina blindly raised her mouth to his, not thinking for a second about morning breath or what she might smell like, only needing to feel his lips and tongue on hers. Jonathan obliged her and devoured her mouth with his. Soon, that wouldn’t be enough, but for now, here, it was perfect.

They slowly made their way out of the tent and into the chilly morning air. Darius was already awake and sitting next to the fire. He’d most likely not slept that well and that was why he was up already. Kina wandered off to do her morning ablutions and Jonathan wandered in the opposite direction. They met back at the tent and gobbled down a quick MRE. They didn’t want to flaunt their food in front of Darius, but they had to eat to have the energy to haul their cameras around all day and to keep up with whatever Darius had planned for the day.

Darius spent most of the morning fishing. He remembered the ranger saying they had to have enough food to last for a while, so instead of worrying about berries and other grasses he could collect, he concentrated on getting protein.

Overall, he was a very good fisherman. He seemed to have mastered the art of using the hook he’d been given. He’ tied it to a long thin stick using some of the flexible weeds that grew around the shore. He walked out into the lake a little ways and was very patient. He’d either gotten used to the cold water or he was numb. Either way, he’d captured some little crawfish that were along the shore to use as bait and had stood in the water for a long while catching fish.

Kina watched as the pile of fish on the shore grew. She glanced at Jonathan nervously. She put her camera down and waited until Jonathan noticed and had done the same.

“Do you think that’s okay?” she said pointing at the pile of fish lying on the rocks. She was worried about bears. Would they smell the fish and think it was a free lunch?

“I have no idea.” Jonathan answered, looking around. “What if we move over there?” He pointed at a rock sticking out a bit over the water, away from where Darius was fishing.

Kina nodded in agreement. She was all for getting away from anything that might attract a bear. “Should we say something?”

“Normally, I’d say no, we aren’t supposed to interfere with the show, but I think this is a safety issue.”

Kina agreed and Jonathan called to Darius to let him know their concerns. The other man called back that he was almost done and would come into shore and deal with the fish in a moment.

Jonathan and Kina moved to the rock and continued filming. They watched as Darius caught another fish and moved toward the shore. He waved at them, letting them know he was done. Jonathan helped Kina off the rock and they both moved toward Darius.

Kina froze. Holy crap. Her worst nightmare was coming true. A brown bear was ambling down the shore right toward Darius. Without thinking she grabbed Jonathan’s arm and yelled out at Darius.

“Darius! Behind you!”

He turned and as soon as he saw the bear, he forgot everything he’d learned from the ranger. He dropped the makeshift fishing pole and the fish he was carrying and turned and ran straight for them.

The bear, used to chasing his prey, immediately roared and gave chase. Darius ran past them as fast as he could. Jonathan grabbed Kina and held her in place.

“Don’t run, Kina,” he warned.

Kin
a
couldn’
t
run. She was frozen in place. The bear stopped ten feet from the two of them. It stood on all fours and swung its head from side to side. Kina heard it clacking its teeth together as if practicing biting down on their tender flesh.

“Spread your arms out,” Jonathan said, not trying to lower his voice. “Make yourself appear as big as possible.”

Kina did as Jonathan instructed. Neither one had thought to drop their cameras. She watched as the bear stood there, still swinging its head and opening and closing its mouth. Crap. She had no idea what that meant in bear language, but it couldn’t be good.

“Now, start walking backward,” Jonathan continued to instruct. Kina noticed he kept himself between her and the bear. No, no, no, no. This wasn’t happening. She suddenly remembered all the times Jonathan had told her how he’d protect her and stand in front of her, if necessary. She’d never been so scared in all her life. She was scared for herself, of course, but she was also scared for Jonathan.

The bear didn’t seem impressed with them at all. It made a growling noise and followed them as they backed up. Suddenly the bear was done playing nice. The smell of the fish and Darius running had obviously made all of its protective instincts kick in.

It came at them suddenly and before Kina could do anything, it took a swipe at Jonathan. He still had his camera in his hand and used it to block the bear’s attack. A swipe from a bear could kill an elk or deer with one blow, so Kina knew Jonathan was in big trouble. The camera went flying from his hand and landed with a thud fifteen feet away. That was way too close. Thank God it hit the camera and not Jonathan. Kina leaned forward to hand her camera to Jonathan for extra protection when the bear came at them again.

Jonathan saw Kina lean forward at the same time he saw the bear’s paw come toward them again. He didn’t have anything else in his hands to protect her with so he simply pushed her backward with one strong shove on her chest and stepped into the space she’d just been standing in. The bear’s paw struck him right across the lower stomach. It would’ve hit Kina in the chest had she still been standing there. Jonathan fell to the ground without a sound, clutching his stomach.

Shi
t.
That hur
t
. Jonathan looked around frantically. He was on the ground now, not a good place to be when confronted by a brown bear. Brown bears were part of the grizzly family and he knew he had very little time to do something to save both himself and Kina. He grabbed a handful of dirt and rocks from next to him and threw it at the bear as it came toward him again.

He heard Kina yelling at the bear and frantically trying to talk to him at the same time. He couldn’t answer her; he was concentrating on the bear coming right for him. Suddenly, Kina’s camera was dropped in his lap. He grunted with the pain of it landing on the wounds from the bear but he grabbed it and held it up just as the bear went to hit him again.

              Once again the bear’s claws hit the camera and it went flying.

Adrenaline flowing through his body, Jonathan crab-walked backward as fast as his abused body would let him, still trying to grab handfuls of the loose sand and throwing it at the bear’s head. He saw sticks flying from behind him as well. Kina was still there, throwing whatever she could get her hands on to try to get the bear to retreat.

“Get the hell out of here, Kina!” he yelled at her, hoping like hell she’d follow his instructions.

No!” she yelled back, continuing to throw things at the bear.

Finally, as the two of them backed toward the trees, the bear stopped following them. It stood there and growled and clacked its teeth together as Kina tried to pull Jonathan’s arm to help him move back out of its way. Jonathan gritted his teeth. He was in severe pain. He knew it was bad, but he had to get them away from the bear in case it decided to charge them again.

After they’d moved about twenty feet away, the bear turned around and headed toward the pile of fish Darius had left on the ground. Jonathan could feel Kina trying to pull him upright. He used all his strength, and most of hers as well, to climb to his feet and stumble along beside her. He had no idea where she was taking them, but as long as it was away from that damn bear, he was happy.

Kina dragged Jonathan along beside her as far as her strength would allow. Jonathan was practically dead weight way before she got back to the camp. They weren’t going to make it back to the tent and the first aid kit they’d brought along. She eased him to the ground, looking around nervously. She looked down at Jonathan. He’d dropped down on his back and his eyes were closed. Kina took a closer look. Oh, shit. His shirt and hands were covered in blood.

Kina reached down, noticing her hand shaking uncontrollably, and lifted the bottom of Jonathan’s shirt. After taking a look she quickly dropped it and pressed her hands hard to his stomach. She ignored his inhalation of pain at her actions. She tried not to throw up. She concentrated on breathing in through her mouth and out through her nose. She thought she’d seen what might have been his intestines. He was hurt. Bad. She had to get him help.

“Darius!” She screamed into the still forest. She couldn’t leave Jonathan because she was literally holding his life in her hands. “Darius!” She yelled again. He’d better still be around. God, what if that bear smelled Jonathan’s blood and came back for more? What if there were other bears around. She had no idea how that worked, but fresh blood in the forest couldn’t be good. Crap. Crap. Crap.

“Would you rather…” Kina heard Jonathan say in a breathy voice, “…be mauled by a bear… or a lion?” Kina saw him smile weakly. “I’m thinking neither, at this point.” He answered his own question.

“Shut up, Jonathan. Just be quiet. You’re going to be fine. Just fine.” Kina sniffed, desperately trying to keep herself under control. Crying wasn’t going to help Jonathan at this point.

Jonathan hurt. He knew it wasn’t good. “No guilt, love, promise me.”

Kina shook her head in denial. She knew what he was doing. “No, just no. You shut up. You’re going to be fine
.
Dariu
s
!” She screamed one more time. Where the hell was he? She needed him. Now.

Jonathan laid his hand over hers lying on his ripped-open stomach. He couldn’t look down, but could feel it was bad. “Love, remember what I said. I’d do anything to protect you. Anything. I’m glad it was me.”

Kina’s eyes filled with tears again. Shit. She hadn’t believed him. She knew he said he loved her but this was too much. No one had ever done anything like what he’d done for her today. Her father hadn’t even wanted her born. Her high school boyfriend didn’t respect her and Matt had just wanted to own her. She knew he never would’ve given his life for hers. “I never asked for you to do this,” she said brokenly, not being able to stop the tears coursing down her face and dripping onto their joined hands over his stomach.

“That’s what love is. Not having to ask.”

Kina watched as Jonathan’s eyes closed and his hand went lax and fell off of hers
.
N
o.
This wasn’t happenin
g
.