Full Throttle (Fast Track) (14 page)

Now she was officially speechless. Sandy made her sound like her eggs were petrifying, ovaries deflating like a fallen soufflé. She had never felt quite so old or quite so past her expiration date.

“Mom.” Rhett used a tone that brooked no arguments. “That is way out of line. You’ve hurt Shawn’s feelings.”

Sandy did look contrite, but Shawn still felt stung, with no clue what to say.

“I’m sorry, dear, that didn’t really sound right, did it? It’s just that children are such a blessing.”

“We’re not having nine, I can guarantee that,” Rhett told her.

Hell, no. Because even if this were a real marriage, which it wasn’t, Shawn was clearly too old to have nine kids unless they were three sets of triplets. God, she had a headache again. The aspirin from the morning had clearly worn off.

“And you already have enough grandkids to bankrupt you at Christmas, so just chill out. Let’s just focus on being married for a while, and getting to know each other and each other’s families.” Rhett gave a rueful look. “If Shawn is still interested in getting to know the Fords after that introduction.”

“Shawn knows I just have your best interests at heart, don’t you, dear?”

She nodded, even if she had no idea what Sandy’s intentions really were. “Of course,” she managed to say.

Rhett still looked put out. “Momma, if and when we get pregnant, you’ll be the first to know. Otherwise, I’m telling you with all the love in my heart to butt out.”

“Your brother would never talk to me like that,” she sniffed. But to Shawn, her expression looked like she wasn’t genuinely put out. If anything, her love for her youngest son shone through. She admired him for standing up for his wife, it was obvious.

“No,” Rhett agreed. “But he wouldn’t let you make Eve feel bad either. He would just say it in a more charming way.” Rhett turned to Shawn. “And now you’ve witnessed the Ford family dynamic. I’m sorry to say you did not get the charming brother.”

Something stirred in Shawn that she did not want to examine too closely. “No, I got the loyal one.” Leaning over, she kissed his cheek before she could stop herself.

She had the satisfaction of seeing that she had actually caught Rhett off guard. That wasn’t easy to do, yet he looked downright sheepish. His mother was beaming.

“And on that note, I’ll leave you two to your dinner and newlywed shenanigans.” Sandy gave each of them a hug.

Shawn hugged her back and tried to forcibly shove the phrase
if and when we get pregnant
out of her head. This wasn’t what she had signed on for, but what was more disturbing than anything was her confusion and reaction to marriage, babies, family. She must be missing Pops more than she realized. Or the sex had gone to her head.

As Rhett walked his mother to her car, Shawn busied herself shoving the bridal magazines into a pile and cramming them into the desk in the corner of the living room. Then she carried dirty coffee mugs to the kitchen and filled the sink with soapy water.

“You’re always doing dishes,” Rhett said when he came back in. “Why don’t you use the dishwasher?”

“It’s broken. I don’t have the money to replace it.” It was a hated chore, but then again, weren’t all chores hated by most people?

“What’s wrong with it? Did it actually die, or it’s just not getting dishes clean?”

“It’s not getting the dishes clean. There’s dried old food on them after an hour of water spritzing them. It makes no sense.” Though she wasn’t sure why they were talking about this.

“The jets are probably clogged.”

Before she realized what was going on, Rhett was on the floor, dishwasher door open, parts being inspected. “Where are your tools? I need a screwdriver.”

Was he for real? Shawn swished her hand to make the suds inflate. “You don’t have to fix my dishwasher.”

“It’s no big deal. It’ll take me ten minutes.” He smiled up at her. “Besides, if you’re washing dishes ten times a day, it’s going to cut into our sexy time.”

Oh, geez. She should have known. “I’m not planning to be horizontal the majority of my day. I don’t think doing the dishes is going to ruin our sex life.”

“Just a little insurance.” He stood up and kissed the back of her head. “Where is the screwdriver? And a drill would be helpful.”

“In the basement. Next to the washer and dryer.” She should have left it at that. But she wasn’t wired that way—she was a button pusher. So she added, “And who says I have any intention of having sex with you again? Just because you fix my dishwasher doesn’t mean I will lie down for you any time. I may need some convincing, you know.”

He stopped on his way across the kitchen and studied her. “You like to play this game, don’t you? You want me to get aggressive and throw you down on the floor and prove you like my attention.”

Maybe. “No, of course not. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Hell, the truth was, she did want him to throw her down and make her forget that they were married. Which was messed up, she had to admit.

“Liar.” He laughed softly. “But the answer is no. Because I don’t dance on a puppet string. If you want me to fuck you, just ask and I’ll decide if I want to give it to you or not.”

Shawn felt her jaw drop. “You’ll decide? Oh, you’ll decide? Screw that!” Any sort of tender feelings she’d been having toward him disappeared pronto. She was sorry she’d let him gag her. Shawn Hamby was not to be gagged. She had things to say, damn it. Opinions that mattered. “I am not the kind of woman who is going to beg you for sex.”

“Who said anything about begging? I meant I think you’re strong enough to ask for what you want without dancing around in passive-aggressive style. Don’t hint, then expect me to do all the work. It doesn’t suit you.” With that, he went down the basement steps.

Shawn was tempted to throw a coffee mug at the back of his head. “Asshole,” she muttered in frustration, and it felt good. She didn’t understand him. At all.

Wouldn’t he want her to be sly about sex? Wasn’t that the point of a man who wanted to dominate? She was supposed to be coy and shy, and he was supposed to grab her and do her? He was right, she was willing to play that game. But this one? She didn’t even know what game they were playing, let alone what the rules were.

Which pissed her off. She didn’t like to lose. She was a born competitor.

So when he came back upstairs with tools in hand, knelt down, and leaned into the dishwasher, she couldn’t let it go. “I thought you wanted to do the work. I thought that was the whole freaking point. So what am I supposed to do, Rhett? What am I
allowed
to do? Not that I ever agreed to be your submissive, but what does a submissive do exactly if it’s not flirt, beg, hint, or demand?”

His head popped out of her dishwasher. “You’re supposed to trust me. You’re supposed to trust me enough to be honest and direct with me.”

It wasn’t an answer that was going to satisfy her. Ever. “How is this for direct? You can sleep in the guest room tonight.”

Rhett didn’t say anything, which further annoyed her. He just fiddled and unscrewed and pulled something that looked like a dead mouse—holy shit, was that a mouse?—out of her dishwasher. Shawn waited until he had dropped the pile of yuck he was holding, expecting him to answer her. But he didn’t.

“Aren’t you going to answer me?”

“I wasn’t aware that was a question,” he replied.

She threw her soapy sponge at him. “Don’t be a smart-ass.”

The sponge bounced off his knee, leaving a trail of suds down his shin. He didn’t even look up. “You told me I’m sleeping in the guest room. I told you that this is your house, and I’ll do whatever you say. So I’m sleeping in the guest room tonight.”

That was a deflating response to her anger.

No. She definitely did not understand Rhett Ford.

“What happened to ordering Chinese food?” It was an emotional hook to hold on to her anger, she knew that. Was fully aware of how juvenile it was. Yet couldn’t stop herself from seeking some sin to lay at his feet.

“I came home early. But I can order it now if you’d like. I can go and pick it up.”

Said the man very respectfully as he fixed her dishwasher. She was stymied. “We can just get it delivered.”

Finishing the dishes, Shawn dried her hands off and reached for her cell phone. While Rhett worked, she found herself dialing for delivery, asking him what he wanted.

By the time the food arrived, he had finished with the dishwasher and was washing his hands. “We can test it with the Chinese food dishes,” he told her. “But it should run just fine now.”

“Thanks.” Because she was grateful and sheepish and uncomfortable. What was happening between them? It was something. It was nothing. It was nothing she’d ever encountered and nothing she understood.

She wanted to trust him, but to what end? She didn’t know. And she wasn’t quite there yet.

While eating, they talked about the track schedule and about Rhett’s car and who to hire as a marketing director. His advice was sound, his tone respectful. After watching the cup series race on TV, Shawn went to bed.

Alone. Rhett just said good night and gave her a yawn, still on the couch.

It should have felt like a victory.

Instead it just felt unsatisfying. Like diet ice cream.

In her PJ bottoms and a USC T-shirt, she poked her head out of her room and called down the hallway, “Do you need help moving tomorrow? I can come to your apartment and help you pack, or clean the apartment, or whatever.”

“No, that’s okay,” he called back. “I’m sure Nolan and I can handle it.”

That wasn’t satisfying either. “No, really, I can help.” She wasn’t a total bitch. She was helpful, a hard worker, a good friend. She just didn’t like being told what to do. But she could offer. “You want the apartment clean or you won’t get your deposit back.”

“Yeah, Nolan would probably appreciate that since it’s his.” Rhett was just in her line of view, even though he was twenty feet away. She couldn’t read his expression. “Thanks, Shawn.”

“You’re welcome. And thanks again for fixing the dishwasher.”

“My pleasure.”

She hovered in the doorway, feeling like an idiot. Then she said, “Good night,” yet again and retreated, closing her door behind her.

When she climbed into bed, she swore she could smell him on her sheets.

The vibrator stared at her in the dark from the nightstand, mocking her, while her vagina berated her for being so stubborn.

Maybe her pillow would like to insult her while they were at it. Shawn punched it so it wouldn’t get any ideas, and threw her head down, feeling bitter, determined not to think about Rhett.

So far marriage was a dress that didn’t fit her.

She’d much rather be naked.

With Rhett. Naked, him thrusting into her again, her cries trapped by the tight fabric over her mouth . . .

Uh-oh. If this was her not thinking about it, this was going to be a long night.

Because she knew from experience that he would not come into her room.

And she was right. He didn’t.

RHETT
threw the last of his clothes in one of the boxes Nolan had brought with him and surveyed his empty bedroom. He wasn’t sorry to be leaving this small and dark apartment, though he was sorry he’d been relegated to Shawn’s guest bedroom. But it was for the best, for now. He wasn’t going to live with that passive-aggressive shit, where she poked at him and circled around what was bothering her and jabbed with sly, underhanded comments. So he would stay in the guest room and hope she would learn to trust him, learn that she could say whatever she was thinking, feeling, and he would respect that.

He wanted to make her happy. It was that simple.

But he wasn’t going to be put in a position where he never knew if a sponge, or worse, was going to come at him.

Was he demanding and intense? Yes, he was. He couldn’t change that, and he was honest about it, had been from the first minute he met her. But he was also fair, helpful, polite. So he liked to think. So why was Shawn fighting him so hard at every turn? It was like she was determined to wrest power from him.

“You okay?” Nolan asked him, appearing in the doorway. “You look like you could chew glass and like it.”

Rhett shrugged. “I don’t know, man. Why didn’t you warn me that marriage was complicated?”

Nolan’s eyebrows shot up. “Because I didn’t know you were going to elope about three minutes after meeting Shawn. If I had, I might have suggested you wait a month or twelve and get to know her before getting hitched. But you did, so you’re in it now. What’s going on?”

“I feel like Shawn is trying really hard to hold on to her independence and prove that she can’t be controlled. But I don’t want to control her. I just want to be partners, and when you’re partners, sometimes one is the leader and sometimes the other is, depending on the situation. It’s natural.” That was what he had seen with his parents’ and his siblings’ marriages, and he wanted that for himself. He wanted to lead their intimate sexual relationship and let her lead the rest. Why was that so difficult? Hell, he’d think a woman would jump at that.

“You’re right, it is. But maybe because this is a brand-new relationship, you’re going to need time to sort that out. Moving in together is a big step, let alone getting married, so cut Shawn some slack.”

Nolan was right. Especially considering they weren’t really even married. What the hell did Rhett really expect from her? “You’re right. And I am figuring her out, that’s for sure. She’ll be here in a few minutes because she feels guilty about getting short with me last night. She’s the kind of woman who throws something out there in anger and impulse, then immediately does something thoughtful that’s totally unrelated because she feels bad.”

“I think she and Eve are friends for a reason. They’re similar personality types. But I don’t get the sense Shawn worries as much as Eve does.”

“Oh, I think she worries plenty.” Rhett dropped the box on the floor and lifted the mattress from his bed off of the box spring so he could start to disassemble the bed frame. “Funny, neither of us married a woman like our mother. Momma never worries. She has total confidence the world will bend to her will.”

“Ha, that’s true. But I’m not surprised you didn’t. You’re basically Mom, you know. I’m more like Dad. But I have a need to mediate, calm things down. I think Eve and I are a good fit that way.”

Rhett realized that marriage had already changed his relationship with his brother. They were talking man-to-man, friend to friend, instead of big brother to little brother, or adult to child. As of yet, they’d barely even made fun of each other in the last hour. It was nice to be able to share with Nolan, yet there was a limit to how long they could talk about their feelings without a drop in testosterone.

“I am not my mother. That’s disturbing.” He shoved the mattress against the wall. “Now are you going to stand there and scratch your nuts, or are you going to help me?”

Nolan grinned. “Definitely nut-scratching.”

His sister Jeannie and her husband, Mark, were in the living room, picking through the remains of Nolan’s old furniture that Rhett had inherited and no longer needed. They were trying to furnish their finished basement on a budget. Rhett figured when he and Shawn divorced and he moved out of her house, he would just start fresh with new stuff. It would be a small reward to himself for surviving the six months intact.

The doorbell rang. “Come in!” Rhett yelled as loud as he could, already wresting the box spring up.

They could hear Jeannie greeting someone and Nolan took the box of clothes and went out into the living room, leaving Rhett alone with the box spring, which, while not heavy, was awkward for one person to maneuver. “Thanks, dick!” he called at his brother’s retreating back.

Nolan’s response was his middle finger thrown over his shoulder.

Yep. They were back to being brothers.

A second later, Shawn’s head popped into the bedroom. “Hi,” she said, sounding breathless, her dark blond hair tousled from the wind.

Rhett smiled at her because, the truth was, he was glad to see her. He liked the companionship between them, despite the speed bump of the night before. He wanted their relationship to work. He didn’t know what he meant by that exactly, but he did. He wanted to be with her, in some legitimate capacity, for whatever time they had together.

“Hey, beautiful, how was your day?” He slammed the box spring against the mattress propped against the wall, and bent down to get his wrench out of his toolbox.

“It was good.” She sounded surprised by that fact. “Eve had some great suggestions for PR, and I posted the job listing for a marketing rep. I cleared more stuff with the lawyer, and I signed vendor contracts for the season. How about you?”

“I slept in. It was awesome. Then I worked out. And now here I am, breaking down a bed I don’t need.”

“What are we going to do with that and the furniture in the living room?”

“Oh, my sister is taking the couches and my other sister is taking the bed. And yet another sister is taking the kitchen table. All I have is my clothes and some sports equipment. Once I put out the word that I had free stuff up for grabs, the Fords descended faster than a hot knife through butter. It’s one of the pluses of a big family.”

“Oh, okay.” Shawn was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, her arms across her breasts. “Aren’t you going to, uh, wish you had that stuff later?”

He liked the jeans she was wearing. They were snug, and her hip was jutting out to the right as she leaned on the door frame. Her breasts were pert beneath her fuzzy gray sweater, and she was wearing shiny lip gloss on her full lips. Abandoning his Allen wrench, Rhett decided he needed to kiss her. She just looked too juicy and irresistible. As he stood and moved toward her, he shook his head.

“It’s old and it was Nolan’s. I’m not particularly worried about it.”

For a second she looked like she wanted to bolt, obviously aware of his intent. But when he put his hand on the back of her head and gently massaged her scalp, urging her to him, she gave in with a sigh. The kiss had his eyes drifting closed, his body leaning in to Shawn. God, she tasted good. Felt good.

He didn’t want to argue with Shawn. He wanted her to smile at him, with that special smile she had where her mouth was wide and her eyes crinkled in amusement. He wanted to settle down into their relationship and just enjoy each other. So maybe he was like his mother in that regard, because he wanted what he wanted and he assumed he was going to get it.

“Thanks for coming to help,” he said, brushing his lips over her jaw. “Did you meet Jeannie and Mark?”

“Yes,” she said, her neck tilting back. “They’re very nice.”

“Jeannie wants to talk to you about the wedding party, or reception, or whatever we’re calling it.”

“Oh, Lord,” was Shawn’s opinion. “I’m sorry this has spun so out of control.”

“I don’t mind.” He didn’t. Because if he were honest with himself, and he always was, he wanted it to be real. He knew that he could be happy with Shawn, and he wanted this to be real. Wanted to work toward ensuring that it was. “But I understand how you’re feeling. It’s a lot to take in. Just let my sisters and mom handle the whole thing.”

“Oh, I intend to. I may be a control freak in some regards, but planning a party is not one of them. I don’t know squat about girly stuff like decorating and cakes, as you can tell from the state of my house.”

“I like your house. It’s comfortable, cozy.” Rhett lazily stroked her backside, nuzzled in her hair. He could touch her for hours and never get tired of the feel of her skin, her body.

“Are you moving or making out?” Eve asked from the hallway. “Get the lead out, Rhett, I want to go home before midnight.”

Rhett smiled and took a step back from Shawn. “And with that, Eve shatters the mood.” He glanced over Shawn’s shoulder at his sister-in-law. “Carry this mattress set out to the truck, Eve, and we’re all set. Show us your muscle.”

“You think I can’t?” Eve rolled her eyes. “I’ve got this.”

Rhett stepped aside, pulling Shawn with him, as Eve and Nolan came in and hauled the mattress back out, Eve swearing but not looking like she was overly strained.

“You did that on purpose,” Shawn said to him, clearly amused as she lifted one of the boxes off the floor. “You played Eve.”

“We’re all competitive. It’s not hard.” Rhett picked up the other box and grinned at Shawn. “We both know all I need to do is dare you to do something, and you fall for it every time.”

She laughed. “I can’t deny it. All I can do is hope you don’t abuse your power.”

“I’ll never dare you to do anything that matters, I promise.” He grew serious, wanting her to understand. “I’ll never dare you in bed, I hope you know that. That wouldn’t be fair.”

Her smile disappeared. “This is that trust thing again, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I want to sleep in your bed tonight. Not to have sex, but just to be near you, to hold you. Do you trust me not to initiate sex?”

She stood, bulky box in her arms, and moistened her lips, her brown eyes darker than usual. “What if I want you to initiate sex?”

He felt a sharp kick of lust. “Do you?”

“Yes. I do.”

That was what he wanted to hear. He wanted her to be straightforward, honest with him. No game playing. “It would be my pleasure, then.”

Even with the dual boxes between them, he leaned over and kissed her. “I’m going to make you come harder than you’ve ever come,” he promised her, voice low, his desire intense.

“You’d better,” she told him. “I’m trusting you.”

That right there turned him on. It meant everything to him that she trusted him. “You’ve put your trust in the right man, Shawn.”

Shawn hoped so. She did trust Rhett, though she still had a niggling concern in the back of her mind that she was going to regret this marriage, their relationship, the sex. That when all was said and done, she was going to get hurt. But she couldn’t stop it. There was no way she could live in the same house with him, pretending to be his wife in public, and not want as much as she could have. His green eyes were so intense, so serious, so committed, that she knew she couldn’t spend night after night with him down the hall in the guest room while she yearned for another immersion into the pleasure he had shown her.

It wasn’t logical. Nor was it smart. But it was what she wanted.

“I know,” she told him, and it was true. She had asked him to enter into a marriage of convenience with her days after they had met. She could have found herself in a disastrous situation with a guy who would manipulate and use her need for secrecy to his advantage. She could have wound up with a slob or a mooch who expected her to be his housekeeper. She could have found herself having to ditch the whole insane idea, losing the track, and facing public humiliation.

So yes, she trusted Rhett.

It seemed stupidly obvious now to her.

Her fear of regrets didn’t stem from concern that he would in some way make things difficult for her, it was that he wouldn’t. Her fear was that she would fall for him, and that in the end, it would hurt to let him go. That if she allowed him to be a part of her life, it would be lonely when he left.

But it was too late to worry about any of that. She was in and, much like him, once in, she was all in.

Nolan and Eve reappeared for the box spring. “Seriously?” Eve complained. “You two are doing nothing but making moony eyes at each other. I’m starting to get pissed.”

“My wife is very romantic,” Nolan told them.

“Sorry,” Shawn muttered. “We were just making some plans.”

“That don’t include the two of you,” Rhett said. “So we would like to thank you very much for helping out, but I know you’re both busy, so you can head home now.”

Well, that was a little obvious. Shawn followed Rhett down the hallway, wondering if he was going to give that same speech to his sister and her husband. Though truth be told, there wasn’t really anything left in the apartment, aside from a lonely vacuum, which Jeannie was using on the worn carpet, and a random floor lamp.

“I should be offended, but I’m just grateful,” Eve said. “I want to get a run in before I collapse for the night.” But then she added, “Shawn, can I talk to you for a second before I leave?”

“Sure.” Shawn looked at her expectantly, no idea what Eve would want to say, but suspecting it wasn’t anything particularly positive.

“Alone,” Eve said bluntly.

Wonderful. “Sure,” she said, less enthusiastic. She turned and went down the hallway, figuring they could use the now-empty bedroom.

Once inside, she rounded on Eve, arms crossed, unable to prevent her defensiveness.

“Whoa, tiger, pull back your claws. I come in peace.” Eve held up her hands. “I just want to ask you if, you know, everything is okay. If you’re happy.” Then without waiting for a response, she winced. “God, that sounded so asinine. Sorry. I just want you to know that if you regret your impulsive decision to marry Rhett, we can get you out of it. This isn’t like the tattoos we had done when we were trying to best each other with our obnoxiousness. We don’t need laser removal, a physician, and a few grand to get you out of this. A hundred bucks on the Internet and we can have you divorced.”