Funny Tragic Crazy Magic (Tragic Magic Book 1) (6 page)

Sometimes
I wonder if I actually am crazy. These memories, they don’t seem possible, like
it’s not right…. It’s as if I’m starting to believe what the good doctor says.
What if I’m really…?

Who
cares. These memories are too real. They’re vivid and confusing. I think those
last few months just happened so fast that I didn’t have a chance to put them
all in order, to make what happened mean the truth. Does that make sense?

I’m
going to keep writing. Real or fake, it’s real in my head, and I don’t think my
memories will leave me alone until I get to the end of the story.

So…
here goes.

For
a while afterwards, I tried not to think about the Witch whom I had seen die,
or that my mom’s color code somehow ended up on the rune that killed Fake
Erica. Because that would mean that my mom was either alive, or there was a way
someone could have faked a color code… I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to
think about it either way. I even tried not to think about the fact that Joe
could do runes, or what could, and did, happen to me because of it.

Instead,
I tried to fill the space those stressful thoughts would have taken up in my
head with equally stressful thoughts about a certain teenage boy.

From
that afternoon on, we entered a kind of golden era. Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday, we would hang out at Joe’s house after school, doing homework while his
mother looked on. Tuesday, Thursday, and most Saturdays or Sundays, we would
hang out at my house analyzing runes, talking about magic’s history, or
speculating on what males with magic called themselves. I didn’t know, and we
searched my house. But we couldn’t find a single clue about the Grandfathers,
or the male fellowship. It was almost as if my dad had never lived there.
      

Anyway,
I thought because my team was the Fellowship for Female Witches that the dudes
must be Male Witches, but Joe didn’t buy that. We both thought the terms
wizards and warlocks seemed a bit too ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ to really fit how
awesome it was to use magic.

In
that time on our own, it was as if we fit together, as if we were members of
the same club consisting of just him and me.

At
school though, it always seemed different between us. He sometimes pretended as
if he didn’t even know who I was.

You
know how there are those books where the hero loves his leading lady and treats
her as if she’s special?

Yeah…
this isn’t one of those books.

Take,
for example, lunch. Now the school did have a cafeteria with tables, and most
people sat in there, but I never did. My friends and I all hung out in the
commons area.

It’s
not like we were a gang, or that you had to be a member of the group in order
to sit with us. We weren’t the popular kids; we just didn’t care so much about
the whole high school class system, and therefore found our place outside of
it. There were only a few friends who stuck with me after my parents died, when
I was going through such a hard time and couldn’t tell anyone. Most everybody
else thought I was a depressed shell, but my real friends stood by me, even
when I didn’t talk back to them.

Anyway,
you’ll find out which ones are important as we go along, so don’t worry too
much about remembering names.

So
the four days after I met Joe, I was at lunch sitting by Julia and Meg. Julia
was talking about tryouts for the school musical, and was trying to get Meg and
me to audition with her. Now if you have ever heard me sing you know how
hilarious the prospect of that is. And Meg, the boisterous burping contest
queen, has a major dose of stage fright.

Julia,
on the other hand, was born to be on stage. She had curly hair, dark skin, and
her voice naturally carried across any room.

Meg
was tiny, not even five feet tall, with hair so blonde it was almost white and
skin so pale that it didn’t even freckle, it just went straight to sunburn.
Most people thought she was younger than she was. Whenever anyone asked if she
were like nine or something, she would let out a string of swear words that
seemed hilarious coming from such an angelic face. She was the funniest, most
loyal girl.

I
miss them all so much.

Anyway,
I was sitting in the commons area trying to avoid Julia’s line of sight,
because she was more persuasive than I thought possible given how untalented I
was.

“Larissa,
it will be fun,” she said, “You wouldn’t have to say anything or even sing.
They always need people to stand in the back and look gorgeous in costumes…”

Chris
leaned down from the step above us he was sitting on and put his arm around my
shoulder. “You’d be perfect to stand there and look pretty.”

I
hit him, because that’s kind of my go to move when I feel embarrassed. I don’t
hit hard. I’m not abusive; it just makes people look away from me so I can
regain composure and not jump up and down and say, “I’m pretty, I’m pretty.”

Oh
man, I’m a dork. When Chris started in on us, I was almost ready to say ‘sure,
I guess I’ll humiliate myself just for you.’ Then I saw Joe standing in line
for french-fries. I called out his name and waved, and I’m sure he saw me.

He
raised his hand in a half-way wave, stood there looking at me for a second,
waved at someone behind me, and then walked away. Chris removed his arm from my
shoulder and leaned closer to Julia, who he has been in love with for more than
a year. Sweet Julia hasn’t noticed.

I
just sat there looking after where Joe had gone. Meg took one of my fries, and
I glanced over at her.

‘
What
was that?
’ Meg asked by raising an eyebrow.

I
smiled. Meg and I have always been good at communicating without talking, so I
gave her a ‘
yes I do like the new kid
’ kind of a sigh.

We
didn’t actually say anything, but we’ve been friends so long we didn’t have to.
Meg knows I’ve never looked at a guy in a why-don’t-you-come-back-here kind of
a way, so she called me on it, that’s all.

Also,
I think most girls are psychic. That has nothing to do with magic, it’s just a
general observation.

I
ate another fry and tried to focus on what everyone else was saying. It didn’t
work as well as you would think.

The
next day, Ryan invited Joe to sit with us. I don’t know why, they were so
different, but Ryan and Joe always got on really well. Ryan was like Superman,
kind of. He was spotless. Ryan got a haircut like every three weeks on the dot.
Joe... Joe usually had wrinkles of some kind on his clothes, and even right
after he got a haircut, he looked like he needed another one. They were both
good looking; Joe was hot in a guy way, and Ryan… honestly Ryan was kind of
pretty. Anyway, Ryan and Joe got along well together, joking and laughing at
dumb things that most the rest of us didn’t understand. They had sixth period
gym together, so that’s how they knew each other. I tried not to look surprised
when Joe came over and sat with us and then tried to make sure he was
comfortable and knew everyone. Along the way if all the girls figured out that
I liked him, well that may have happened, but no one said anything. No one needed
to.

Eventually
everything simmered down, and after a couple of weeks, things at school felt
more natural. I could tell, though, it took some effort on Joe’s part to think
of rube-like things to say. So our conversations in front of everyone didn’t
flow the way they did at my house when we were alone, or at his house with just
his mom nearby.

I
know you’re probably thinking that something romantic started happening between
us, but you’d be wrong. Don’t worry. I thought the same thing. Apparently, the
only one who didn’t realize that being alone with a cute girl meant you could,
I don’t know, hold her hand, or kiss her, was Joe.

Sigh.

That
dumb, dumb, dumb guy. It was strange, this firm line in the sand from someone
without boundaries. It’s as if he knew what kind of touching or flirting
actually meant something and then never once crossed the line.

Still,
he knew how to drive me crazy. For example, a couple of weeks into the school
year we were sitting on his couch working on algebra. Joe could do algebra in
his sleep, so he never studied. I needed to. I was talking aloud as I worked on
my homework problems. Joe started fake sleeping, his head tilted to the left,
and his ear against my shoulder as he snored. I ignored him and started talking
louder.

“Now
if x is equal to twenty-five…” I said.

He
faked snoring again; this time his face fell against my throat, his eyebrows
against my neck. I went silent, but I could smell him, his minty breath, his
woodsy deodorant, and the honey smell of his magic... My heartbeat sped up, and
I swallowed and then elbowed him so he’d scoot away. He sat back and smiled at
me, and then pulled some science fiction book from his backpack and started
reading. He lay down on the other end of the couch and put his feet on my lap.

After
about a second, I pulled my math book from under his feet and put it down on
top of his legs. I went back to work on my math, this time keeping my words to
myself.

I
didn’t have any words I could say aloud.

It
went like that for a while, the golden age of Joe and I. We played with the
runes and tested how to go through walls. It turned out I could go with him
through a wall, but only if he was holding me close to him. I didn’t mind
testing that one out at all, although when we tried going through walls only
holding hands I ended up with a bruise on my forehead that even my
transformation
runes couldn’t fully cover.

The
golden age ended at the Halloween dance. Chris and Ryan convinced Joe to come
with us. It was going to be a kind of group thing, and I’ll admit, I had too
high expectations for this dance. I really thought that dancing with me would
convince Joe to move past this whole ‘just friends’ business.

All
the girls got ready at Julia’s house, because no one could do makeup better
than Julia. Julia went as Cinderella in a costume she made herself. Now for
anyone else that would mean it looked like a sleeping bag with some glitter,
but Julia could sew almost as well as she could sing. She had so much talent in
almost every direction, when I met her I thought she was a Witch like me. She
wasn’t. Just a freakishly talented rube.

I’ve
always got along with freakish people. It’s the normal ones (like I was
pretending to be) I didn’t know how to interact with.

I
went as a Witch in this gorgeous vintage black lace dress, complete with orange
and purple striped tights and a tiny pointy hat. I thought it was ironic. I’ve
never met a Witch that liked hats.

It
made Joe laugh when I saw him. He was dressed like a Jedi, complete with a
light saber the assistant principle confiscated when he walked in.

I
smiled at him.

He
finger combed his hair so it stuck strait up.

“What?”
He lowered his voice, “my mom bought it for me. She’s chaperoning, so I
couldn’t not wear it.”

“No,
it looks good.”

“Don’t
say it…” Joe said

“It’s
very ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ of you,” I said with a laugh.

“…You
had to say it.” Joe said, shaking his head and smiling.

I
moved closer and spoke in his ear, “So what do you think? How about the
‘Fellowship for Male Jedis’.”

Meg
“accidentally” bumped into me and pushed me into Joe. My hands went up to brace
myself, and my fingers brushed Joe’s stomach, my forehead crashed into his
chest. But it was his hands that I noticed; they had phased through the fabric
of my dress and rested softly against the skin on my stomach.

I
pushed him away and took a step back. But apparently the rush of adrenalin from
this accidental impact made me push him away too hard, and he fell against the
ground.

“Sorry,”
I leaned back and moved my hands to my sides. I could feel the heat from his
eyes over my body. I put one hand over my stomach to cover myself, and then
offered my other hand to help Joe stand back up.

He
didn’t take my hand.

“I
…um. I actually need to go…” He glanced over at his mom who had started to walk
toward us. He jumped up.

“I
gotta go,” he said, gesturing with one hand.

Joe
almost sprinted away. Meg came up to me and smiled. I couldn’t smile back. I
could hardly breath.

They
held the dance in the commons area, and my group stood near where we always ate
lunch. The music was too loud, and the decorations were cheesy, but it was all
right. I lost my hat before the first song was over. On the fast songs, I
jumped up and down with my girl friends, the guys in our group standing around
talking about guy-type things. I’m not sure what. I don’t speak the language.
Joe eventually came back to the group, his hair wet, as if he dunked his head
in water. He stayed by the guys and wouldn’t look at me.

On
the slow songs, Joe and the guys of our group would filter into the circle of
girls to ask them to dance. I tried to stand near Joe for almost every dance,
but the dumb kid never asked me. He danced, of course, just not with me.

It
was then I realized for sure that he didn’t like me, at least not the way I
liked him. I mean, this was the guy who said anything that popped into his
head, broke into my house on more than one occasion… He didn’t have any
boundaries. If he liked me he would have said so, and then followed with some
obnoxious comment on the origin of runelight. We were just friends... and not
‘just friends with the possibility of more’ like I thought we were. We were
friends in a ‘just friends’ box surrounded by walls I couldn’t cross. Like
always, the only one who could walk through those walls was Joe.

I
danced a lot with different guys, and tried not for any of them to realize I
just wanted to go home and cry. The audiovisual guy, Kenny, came on the
speakers and announced that this would be the last dance, so I walked with
determination to where I thought Joe was. I was pretty enough, and we got on
well. Maybe he just didn’t know I liked him, and he needed a push. I’d ask him.

When
I found him, he was standing by a group of pretty girls, asking one of them to
dance. Maybe I wasn’t… enough, like I’d thought. It hit me then, as if someone
had taken all my self-worth and said, “nope… not there yet.” I had to go home.
I would have walked straight to my car, but Ryan asked me to dance for the
third time that night.

Ryan’s
nice; I don’t know if I’ve mentioned him. He’s been my friend for a long time,
since like third grade. He put his hands on my waist, and it became just a bit
too much for me. I pulled in closer to Ryan than I did before and rested my
head on his chest. It was more like a hug than a dance... though our feet kept
moving in that obnoxious back and forth shuffle. It was then, with Ryan’s hands
around my waist and my hands at his neck, that I felt the warmth of Joe’s look
on me. I ignored it. At least I tried to. The heat focused on me for the length
of the entire song. Eventually, Ryan and I turned our slow circle so I was
facing in Joe’s direction. I dared myself to look at Joe. The side of my face
lay against Ryan’s chest.

For
once, Joe didn’t look away. We just stood there staring at each other until the
end of the song. That was when I glanced at the girl he was dancing with. It
was Erica Fisher.

The
song ended, and I backed away. I felt bad that I hadn’t spoken to Ryan for the
entire song, but looking at his face it seemed he didn’t mind. He was about to
say something, but I interrupted him.

“Thanks,
Ryan, for the dance.” I smiled at him and then walked away, grabbing Meg’s arm
for a second. She left her dance partner in the middle of a sentence and put
her arm around my shoulder.

“Oh
sweetie,” she whispered. We walked out together, and I gave her a ride home. We
didn’t speak much on the way, except for Meg to say she had a great time. Joe
had danced with her, during the third song. Neither of us mentioned that. She
gave me a hug from the passenger seat when we got to her door, and a few of my
tears fell then. She didn’t mention them, and I didn’t say anything. That was
the nicest thing about having a best friend like Meg. I didn’t have to say
anything for her to understand.

I
miss her most of all.