Further Adventures (6 page)

“Nah. Yo gots hair like me. Yo daddy he’s some colored man.”

“So’s mine,” I spoke up. “He’s a sharecropper in Philadelphia.” I did a tap dance in a circle then made it worse by these words: “Sho nuff honey chile.”

Pigmeat hit the bell. “Corners!”

The place emptied out after dark since the bare lightbulbs did not
do much to push out the gloom. David & Pigmeat discussed about business and I wandered over to punch the “speed bag” which was as big as a hanging man’s head. Sparky swabbed the floor around me in lazy figure Eights with a comment for me like “Nice weather” or “Like that chicken pie” every time he came back my way.

“Ray!” David shouted at me.

I turned around and the bag walloped me in the back. So what. Pigmeat called me over for him to push boxing gloves on me & David held up his bare knuckles like a surgeon so Sparky adorned them with Gloves too. For practice Pigmeat aimed a few jabs at me which I knocked away very smart since my Reactions were young & quick. “Thas the stuff Killer.” He pushed me into the middle of the ring where David was raring to go bouncing from one foot to the other.

“I want a clean fight.” Pigmeat made it official. “When you hear the bell come out fightin’.”

“Put up your dukes,” David advised me.

When the bell went David landed a punch on my face so I ducked down & he bobbed up then so did I.

David said, “Let’s see your stuff Killer. Show me something.”

“What stuff? I don’t have any stuff.”

“Lower your left arm.”

I did and he belted me another one on the left side of my face.

“Hey! Cut it out!”

“Be a mensch. Show me some of that Green Ray stuff.”

“I need Leon for that.” I bounced away but he followed me to the corner.

I blocked another jab. Another jab clipped my ear. “Don’t let me knock you around Ray.” He had a dark light in his eyes nor I did not see his Left come up and under my ribs.

“Ooof.”

“Show me something. Come on!”

So I swung and missed. “I’m a lover not a fighter see?”

“You a lover? Whose lover? You gotta be a fighter too—right?”

“This is over.” I backed off but David moved in on me he was not going to let me go.

“You gonna let Annie do this to you too? She’ll punch your heart right out.” Jab. Jab. Pushing at my chest.

“Cut it out. I’m stopping.” I let my limp arms my stringy arms hang down but David scooped up my hands so I just held them where he put them in the Air.

“Show me something.” He faked left he jabbed right. He was wearing out my eyes trying to follow him I did not know what he was trying to do & Meanwhile I did not know what I was doing either.

“Take a swing at him!” I heard Pigmeat crab at me.

“I don’t want to play anymore.”

Then David said, “Who’s playing?”

A thunderbolt hit me flat in the face. I spun around & watched the floor come up at me going 100 M.P.H. I woke up on my back on the mat my face all wet my head in the cups of David’s hands.

“Is it blood? Is my nose broken?”

“Is it blood?” Pigmeat mocked me.

“You’re O.K. It’s water.”

“I taste blood.”

“You bit your tongue,” David said. “You learned a couple very important things here Ray. Number 1—never drop your dukes. Number 2—you got a glass jaw.”

I tried to say something I think it was maybe I can’t see your face but David touched his fingers to my swollen lip. “Don’t thank me now.” He swiveled to look at Sparky. “Any ice left?”

“Yes sir Mr. David.”

“Good.” David let my head hit the mat. “I need a drink.”

I have read some interesting Stories in the National Geographic Maga
zine about tidal waves i.e. about their Causes and Effects. Some of the effects have been Earth-shattering for instance whole islands wiped off the face of the map. The shape of coastlines changed. Jungles buried under water. Thousands of villagers drowned etc. Huge Causes = Huge Effects this is true.

One of the main causes of a tidal wave Scientists learned could be a earthquake on the bottom of the ocean. Picture that! The sand & rocks under the middle of the Ocean lurch like a broken card table or in the case of volcanic activity split open like a hot melon! The Energy of it the sheer Force of it pushes out the water far & wide so there is your Tidal Wave set in motion. The glassy face of rolling doom. Picture some peaceful tropical island stretched out in the hot Sun then a little stir of breeze. The palm trees shimmy—a spray of dry white sand fans up from the beach because there is a wind now—& a roar is rising up from the deep water—the shallow water in the lagoon starts to hum—now over the reef the Ocean just curls up this sea monster up on its purple haunches tumbles down roaring so loud it crushes rocks down to sand sand down to mud—it is the only Sound anybody can hear until deep water buries everything alive.

Scientists also Insurance Companies I believe call a tidal wave a Act of God & by me that is a pretty good description of the cause & effect of all my feelings about Annie LaSalle.

I was not calm enough to concentrate on anything else especially that week’s portrayal of The Green Ray. My wandering eyes just followed anything in the room that moved—the flight path of a fly or a falling Speck of dust or somebody’s shoes going by it did not matter what. This was a problem for me since my Performance suffered terrible in what was supposed to be another very exciting action-packed Episode called The Return of King Crime.

Leon Kern was the first person who told me out loud that some kind of oomph was missing from my style which fact he advised me during
a Scene between David & Annie which did not include me so I strayed over to Leon’s side of the room. Leon said he had to multiply his Sound Effects to compensate for my weak character that night what was wrong with me? “I’ve heard Lucy Least order a bowl of creamed corn with more verve,” Leon said to me with one eye on the Action in the studio. He rattled the doorknob in the miniature door frame on his desk. He creaked open the miniature door.

ROSALIND: This is a surprise. It’s Dr. Denton isn’t it?

HORVATH: Please don’t stand on ceremony Miss Bentley. My name’s Howard.

ROSALIND: If you want my father I’m afraid—

HORVATH: Actually…it’s you I want.

This was a pretty sneaky move by Horvath since he knew for a cast-iron fact that Rosalind Bentley and Peter Tremayne had a tiff in the last Scene & Peter stomped off which was why I was in the Sound Effects booth with Leon Kern. I did not have to be out by the microphone until right after the message from our Sponsor.

While Bernhardt pretended that Capt. O’Shaughnessy ate a bowl of Spiller’s High Energy Buckwheat Breakfast Flakes first thing when he went on duty every morning Mr. Argyll reminded me that I was supposed to be convincing out there & I sounded like I was telephoning my lines from the planet Ming.

GREEN RAY: Captain I can’t wait to get my hands on Horvath.

I said that with the wrong Emotion in it I made it sound like I was falling in love with my Arch Foe. “You’ve got a big scene coming up,” Mr. Argyll warned me, “and if it doesn’t inspire the youth of the nation Ray I swear to Jesus—P. K. Spiller is going to blame
you
!”

Here is something about Acting—you’ve got to throw some human Emotion into it even if the Character is acting phonus bolonus. The feeling has to be a True one nor it does not matter if a person is portraying Abraham Lincoln or a little green man from Mars or the Nation’s Number 1 Crime Stopper a person has to find a genuine & sincere emotion to portray. I believe that people can tell the difference and if they notice there is Nothing sincere going on nobody will care how it turns out. Nobody will care about you if you are a phony boloney.

The Story that led me to my big Scene went like this:

Professor Lionel Horvath swore at me that no prison was built that could hold him and so he was true to that word. After his escape by submarine from Alcatraz Island he embarked on the biggest caper in his perverted criminal Career. He hired a lookalike gunsel to take his place in prison so he was free to live under a False Identity 3,000 miles from Home. His object was to grab control of all of our city’s services—the Water & Power…the Garbage collecting…the Sewer system…the Port Authority…the Subways…the Fire Department…the Police Department…the Office of the Mayor…and so on…Horvath could run the whole place like a giant train set shut it down at the flip of a switch if he wanted he was going to dub himself Top Banana if nobody stopped him. King Crime back on his throne! He figured!

At his command Horvath had a small Army of suicide Gigolos i.e. very handsome high class but selfish & spoiled young men who were in hock up to their eyeballs from gambling Debts & shady dealings. Horvath promised to square it for them if they did one deed—marry the girl of the Professor’s choice who was a daughter of some rich & powerful City Father…So one by one High Society weddings were on one day the High Society funerals of the Father of the Bride were on the next day being the tragic victims of High Society fatal accidents.

Horvath saved the biggest plum for himself. After he lost the tender heart of Rosalind Bentley he won the hand of Cornelia Deasy the
daughter of our Mayor. But in the middle of their Wedding ceremony The Green Ray unmasked Horvath also his insane plan.

BISHOP FEENY: And if any here can show cause why these two may not be joined in matrimony let him speak now or—

The Sound Effect of a gust of wind rose up inside the Cathedral on top of a few very astonished cries from the Wedding guests—

GUESTS: What is it? Aah! Ooh! What’s that light? That green light it’s blinding! (Etc.)

HORVATH: Oof!

The Green Ray tackled Horvath at the altar & we crashed into the crowd!

HORVATH: You’re not on the guest list!

CORNELIA: Howard! What does this mean?

Horvath was just acting innocent like he was a Normal guy attacked by a crazy masked man in a green Reflecting suit & cape for no good reason on his Wedding Day. I knew better i.e. the whole truth—

GREEN RAY: I think your Worship if you look in this man’s inside pocket you’ll make a nasty discovery.

HORVATH: Don’t bother Bishop. This should satisfy you…

The whispers in the crowd stopped & Horvath pulled out from his morning coat—

CORNELIA: A gun!

I threw my green Cape over his head! A shot echoed! We both went down wrestling locked in a violent fight. In a couple seconds I had him pinned.

HORVATH: I’ll get you for this!

GREEN RAY: I don’t think so…Professor Horvath.

BISHOP FEENY: Horvath? But this is—

I grabbed the list out of Horvath’s pocket I recited all the Names on it of those High Society bigshots who were suddenly coincidentally and very convenient for Lionel Horvath
dead
. It was all the Evidence I needed to hand him over to the F.B.I. in person. For my courage & public service J. Edgar Hoover decided to honor me at a Public Ceremony on the steps of City Hall. Now proper homage was going to get paid to the acts of unrewarded anonymous Good wrought on Earth by The Green Ray.

Was I ready for it the gush of Emotion? No. I did not stand there 100% concentrating on my Lines nor my mood since I still felt some interference from my inner thoughts about Annie. I tried to keep the picture of City Hall & Mr. Hoover & the adoring crowd in my mind I tried to hear how my Green Ray Voice was supposed to sound i.e. righteous yet humble but when my Cue came up I pretended that the ceremony at City Hall was not for The Green Ray it was for me Ray Green it was a big award I was getting for my portrayal of the Voice of The Green Ray & it was in the presence of my dear Family who were in the dark & believed I was a ne’er-do-well.

So besides the crowd of Actors who did not need to say any more Lines e.g. Bernhardt Grym & David Arcash & the day rate Gunsels & Annie et all I pretended I saw Mama & Papa in the studio watching me the Son they thought was a Skid Row bum by now was really a Radio Hero. There I was getting the key to the City for stopping crime &
inspiring the youth of the Nation to grow up doing unrewarded anonymous Good.

J. EDGAR HOOVER: Mr.—Um…Green Ray…So many times in the past you have appeared on the scene in our hour of need & did what needed to be done and afterward you disappeared in a blaze of green light. Nobody had a chance to say thanks until now. We didn’t know who to thank—for restoring decency to our streets for giving back some hope to our beleaguered citizens. You have inspired our children to strive to do good and so Green Ray you have given us all a brighter future. It is now my proud personal pleasure to present you with the key to our fine City…Your City.

A roar of applause & cheering which I believe some of it was a recording of the crowd in New York greeting Charles Lindbergh in 1927 the Studio was alive with it with Capt. O’Shaughnessy & Sen. Bentley with Rosalind & the whole crowd of them—Mama & Papa…

GREEN RAY: Thank you Mr. Hoover & all of you in Radioland. I accept this fine award on behalf of the spirit of Goodness that lives in every Human heart. I dedicate my Life to finding that Spirit and raising it up—and trampling down every vicious thug and hoodlum who stands between us and our Liberty—between us and our pursuit of Happiness!

And every one of them turned their eyes toward me at that moment and they were Cheering again cheering for me clapping like crazy even
Mr. Argyll grinning almost biting right through his cigar on the other side of the Control Room glass. I looked straight at Annie & she was in the front clapping & cheering—the Music played out and her eyes shining and smiling at me. I believe I caught a flicker of real Affection in her eyes for me how could she fake every hooray? No it was the Reflection of how I felt about her & how she felt about me then blushing up through her flesh & bones I will say it came very Sincere from Annie to Rosalind Bentley & out to me what else could it be just Acting?