Gabrielle: Bride of Vermont (American Mail-Order Bride 14) (14 page)

She glanced up at him as they sang “O Little Town of Bethlehem.” When he looked at her, she saw him quickly glance over her head toward the door in the back of the room. She could tell he was wondering about Buck, but he continued to sing.

Clyde Williamson stood before his congregation. He was a tall man, with a deep voice that carried well throughout the small building. Gabrielle noticed that he sounded just as warm and welcoming from the pulpit as he did when speaking with her one-on-one. She remembered his sense of humor and kindness when they’d first met in Wiggieville.

Gabrielle couldn’t help but compare him to George. This man was kind and sincere. This man loved his congregation. This man was honest. There wasn’t a deceptive thing about him. Clyde Williamson was truly a man of God. She knew it as surely as she knew her name.

As she listened to Clyde read from the Bible, it occurred to her that she had not only judged all preachers by the actions of one evil man, she had gone so far as to judge Almighty God by them as well.

Her heart filled with conviction. She closed her eyes and shut out every distraction.
My God, I’ve been a fool to shut my heart and mind against You, blaming You for what George did. I’m sorry. I may not be able to forgive him, but I’ll do my best. I ask You to take the memories away forever. And I’ll focus on You, only You, and not dwell on the past any more. Amen.

She opened her eyes as she felt a heaviness being lifted from her heart. Preacher Clyde was asking everyone to bow their heads with him in prayer. For the first time in her life, Gabrielle truly joined in with God’s people as they prayed.

Upon dismissal, her heart felt light and joyful until she looked at Boone. He once again scanned the crowd. His son was not there.

“I need to talk with some folks and see if anyone’s seen or heard from Buck today. Do you want to join me?” he asked, not wanting to leave her alone with a group of people she really didn’t know.

Gabrielle looked up at him, smiling freely. “You go ahead. I’ll find Mattie and see if I can help with the refreshments.”

Boone looked at her questioningly. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Gabrielle gave his shoulder a gentle shove. “Go on. I’m perfectly fine. Really.”

He looked into her eyes and believed her.

Mattie and her daughter Abby did their best to help Gabrielle meet as many people as they could. She felt welcomed and happy to be in their midst but kept an eye on Boone as he made his way through the people, stopping to talk with everyone to ask about Buck.

There was a lull, and Mattie leaned in to take a look at Gabrielle’s hand. “You seem to not have any serious damage from your burn the other day. How’s the rest of you?”

Gabrielle blushed. “Oh, Mattie. I’m fine. Just a little sore, but not enough to slow me down. I have to admit, that was certainly one of the clumsiest days of my life. I’ve decided to stay away from the business of saddling a horse for now.”

Mattie put her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulder and gave a little squeeze. “There’ll be time for that later, dear.”

Just then Boone approached them, still looking worried.

“I’d like to go ahead and make our way back to the house. One of the men said he saw him riding north a couple of hours ago. It’s not like Buck to just not show up like this. He may be sick or something. Clyde said Buck’s guitar is here and he’s pretty sure it wasn’t here last night. I guess he left it and went for a ride. I just don’t know what to think.” He looked over at Gabrielle. “Are you ready to leave?”

She nodded. “Yes, of course.”

Smiling at Mattie and Abby, she said, “Thank you for making me feel at home.”

“I’ll go get the buggy,” he said.

“There’s no need for that, Boone. I’ll just hurry out to it with you.” she said, walking quickly to get their coats and hats.

Charlie and Zeke stood at the back of the room, watching them prepare to leave. As Gabrielle and Boone walked past them, her hand resting in the crook of his arm, Zeke mumbled just loud enough for Charlie to hear him. “It’s a darn shame. She would’ve picked me, you know!”

Charlie smirked, shaking his head. “No way, man. No way.”

In the buggy, Gabrielle sat close enough to Boone that they could share the blanket he’d spread across their laps, but not close enough to touch him. She was keenly aware of her need to keep a safe distance between them. He would be glad of it when it was all said and done and she was gone. He’d be free to find a woman who could meet all of his needs.

Gabrielle tried not to think of the days ahead but knew she needed a plan. She had enough money to take a train back East, but she already knew she’d stay in Texas. The people she’d met made her want to be a part of their community. She’d have to move far enough away from Coltonville so as not to see Boone, but she could probably find work in Wiggieville. She wanted to stay where she could see wide open spaces every day.

Boone’s question interrupted her thoughts. “So, what did you think of our little gathering?”

She sighed. “Oh, it was precious! Truly. I enjoyed it more than I ever expected.”

Boone was surprised and hopeful at the same time. “You did? I’m glad of it.”

“It was rather significant for me, actually,” she said.

“How so?”

“I made an important realization tonight. Preacher Clyde is so easy to listen to. I wanted him to keep talking on and on. I could listen to him all day,” she told him.

Boone chuckled. “Don’t ever tell that to a preacher. We might never get home to our mid-day meal on Sunday if you tell that to Preacher Clyde!”

They laughed together.

She sobered. “I’ve done a foolish thing and I’ve been doing it for years, Boone. During one of the songs, it became clear to me that I’ve been avoiding God all these years because I thought He was probably like George. Or that George was like Him. It’s hard to explain, but I see now that I let the actions of one terrible man influence my thoughts about God and men in general. Maybe even all Christians. My step-father was not a good man. But, God
is
good. There’s no comparing the actions of people to the actions of God. I understand that now. I won’t be afraid to go into a church building ever again. It’s all different for me now.” Gabrielle felt embarrassed, as though she’d said too much. At the same time, she once again felt relieved of a great burden.

Though it was dark and she couldn’t see the expression on Boone’s face, she heard the tender tone in his voice. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard in long time. I’m very happy for you.”

They arrived home to discover that Buck was not there. Boone came inside and stoked up the fire. They stood in the parlor.

“What should we do?” asked Gabrielle, looking up at him.

“I’m going to pray. Join me?” he asked and reached for her hand.

Gabrielle took a step closer and felt Boone’s large hand surround hers completely as he quietly prayed for Buck’s safety and for guidance to find him.

She stayed there close to him for just a moment before pulling away her hand.

“We don’t get much of this kind of weather around here. It turned pretty cold this afternoon, and the snow hasn’t let up a bit, but now it’s raining a little and could turn to ice. As dark as it is, I wouldn’t be able to see him if I went looking now. It’s possible that he went to Wiggieville and just got delayed. He’s got friends over there. I’ll go searching at dawn if he hasn’t come in by then.”

Having the matter decided, Boone seemed to relax a bit.

“Should I plan to go with you in the morning, to help search?” she asked.

Boone answered quickly. “No. It might be too dangerous to take the buggy in this weather, and you can’t go on horseback. He’ll probably be here by morning anyway. I reckon we’d best get to bed then.”

Gabrielle sighed. “I wish I could do something to help.”

“Just knowing you’re here waiting on us will be help enough. Thank you.”

Dismayed, her heart sank.
I can’t leave him tomorrow. It wouldn’t be right. It’ll have to wait another day.

“All right, whatever you say is best. I’ll have breakfast ready early tomorrow. Good night then.”

He looked into her eyes. “I’m glad you’re here. I have a strange feeling that there’s something beyond Buck’s power keeping him from getting home tonight. Just having a friend here with me means a great deal.”

Gabrielle couldn’t stop herself. She stepped closer to him and shyly reached her arms up to hug him.

He embraced her briefly, and then released her. “Good night,” he said softly.

Later that night and into the earliest hours of the morning, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She thought about the prayer she’d said while at the church service. God had never left her. He’d always been there. When she’d thought He wasn’t close to her anymore, it wasn’t because He had moved. She had done it. She promised herself she’d never turn away from Him again. And now she asked Him to direct her path regarding Boone. Believing that she’d given her future into the hands of the One who could make it secure, she drifted off into sleep.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

She awakened early and began to prepare a quick breakfast that Boone could carry with him in case he didn’t want to delay by eating.

She heard him light a lantern and then go outside into the gloomy early dawn. He came in a short time later and joined her in the kitchen. “It’s pretty wet out there, but I don’t think it’s icy.”

“I’ll be thinking about you and hoping for the best.” She took a little breath and said something she’d never said to anyone before. “I’ll be praying.”

Boone raised his eyebrows. “Something’s different about you.”

She nodded, suddenly feeling shy.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone calling from outside. “Boone! Boone Dillingham!” The call was urgent.

They both hurried to the front door. Gabrielle recognized the man who’d introduced himself as Zeke sitting atop a horse just coming to a stop outside.

He started talking rapidly as soon as he saw the couple and dismounted. “Charlie and I took off hunting ‘bout three o’clock this morning. We went up toward the Brazos and was out in the woods. I saw Buck’s gelding wandering around, so we started calling and looking for him. Finally found him, nearly froze to death, but still alive. He’s unconscious, though. He’s trapped under a large tree branch. I rode to Doc Colby’s place and he’s on his way out there already. He said to tell you to bring the wagon. Charlie stayed with him to get him warming up. I’ll help you hitch up.”

Gabrielle ran into the house and gathered blankets. She came out with as many as she could carry and set them on the porch. As she put on her heavy coat and gathered hats and gloves, she found an extra coat for Zeke. He’d apparently left his behind for Buck.

She began carrying everything she thought they’d need out to the wagon. Grimly, Boone thanked her as he climbed onto the buckboard seat.

“The fires are stoked inside. I’m coming with you.” She extended her arm toward him.

He started to protest, shaking his head. “It’s too dangerous—.”

She ignored him and placed her foot on the step. “I don’t care. You’ll need someone in the back of the wagon with him,” she said determinedly.

Boone felt the same uneasy sense of fear rising within him that had haunted him since his first wife’s death but refused to give in to it. He stretched out his arm and pulled her up beside him. “Come on then.”

It was still bitterly cold although the previous night’s wind was long gone. Gabrielle thought the wagon might slip on the bits of ice, but it was very thin and only in patches.

Less than an hour later, Zeke led them into the woods. Soon afterward, they left the wagon and hiked a short distance to where they found Doc Colby and Charlie tending to Buck.

The four adults were able to move the heavy branch off of him. Boone went down on one knee and laid a hand on his son’s forehead, urgently praying silently.

“We were afraid to try and move him, Doc.” Zeke explained.

“Y’all did what you could. Tucking the extra coats around him was all you could do without help.

“Boone, I could tell his leg was likely broken. I’ve already got the splint ready. Soon as I get it on him, we’ll move him to the travois and get him out of here.”

Buck moaned in pain while the doctor worked on him but remained unconscious.

The group worked grimly and efficiently together, despite the freezing temperature and serious nature of the situation. Doc Colby calmly instructed Boone and the men as they worked quickly to get Buck out of the woods and loaded into the wagon.

Doc asked Zeke to tether his horse’s lead and climbed aboard. Gabrielle started to follow him, but he spoke quietly to her. “He’ll be all right, Mrs. Dillingham. You ride up front with your husband. That’d be better for him.” He tilted his head in Boone’s direction.

Boone sat rigid and watched the road intensely, trying to avoid jostling over rough bumps. Gabrielle had never seen him like this. He looked straight ahead, but she could see his face was pale and his huge dark brown eyes were filled with worry. She scooted as close to him as she could and looped her arm through his, trying to offer solace.

“He’ll be all right, Boone. Doc Colby will take care of him.”

He choked back his emotion with quiet restraint, his voice cracking. “I can’t lose him, Gabrielle. I can’t lose him, too.” He fought for control and kept silent.

She looked up at him and saw the tears on his cheeks. All she could do was pray and stay close.

The hour-long trek back to the Dillingham spread seemed to take forever. Skillfully, Doc Colby set the broken leg and tended to the frostbite on Buck’s toes.

“By the look of the abrasions on that side of his temple, it looks like the tree grazed him before crushing him to the ground. Only time will tell, but I expect he’ll recover. Keep him warm and comfortable. I’ll be by to check on him tomorrow morning, but you send for me if he wakes up and you find that he needs me. We’ll hope for him to wake up soon.”

Gabrielle prepared a hot broth and attempted to spoon warm liquids into him frequently.

Boone remained silent and distraught, praying silently at his son’s bedside.

Late that night Gabrielle once again brought blankets she’d been warming near the fireplace and switched them out with the ones that were on top of Buck.

Boone reached out and took her hand as she passed his chair. He pulled it close and pressed it against his cheek. “Thank you. Thank you for everything, Gabrielle,” he whispered.

She stood next to him and bent down to kiss the top of his head. Boone leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. Gabrielle stayed next to him, her hand resting on his heaving shoulders. He sobbed quietly.

She stroked his back and watched him give way to the emotion inside.

Deeply and slowly, he breathed in and out until he was calmer. He started talking, but Gabrielle sensed his thoughts were far away.

“Nearly ten years ago, I made a new saddle for my wife, Amanda. I challenged her to a race while she saddled up her mare. She was in a hurry to join me and didn’t get the cinches right. She was trying to catch up with me when the saddle slipped, taking her down with it. Amanda got tangled up in the hooves and never regained consciousness. I sat at her bedside for weeks, praying for her to wake up.”

He looked over at Buck. “I always thought he looked a lot like her. Even more so right now,” his voice trembled. “Oh God,” he whispered sadly, “heal my boy. Please bring him back to me.”

“Yes, Lord. We ask you together,” Gabrielle agreed.

Boone took her hand. “I’ve been living with fear for a long time. It kept me from wanting a mate ever again. And even though I finally got so lonesome that I sought you out, I’ve still been afraid. I figured I could keep you at arms’ length, so to speak. Once you got here, I was terrified that something bad would happen to you. That’s why I’ve gotten so upset about you getting near the horses.” He looked up into her eyes.

There was a chair next to his, and he pulled her down to sit next to him, never letting go of her hand.  “I thought I could protect my heart from falling in love with you at the same time as keeping you safe enough, protected from getting hurt. I wanted to ensure your safety, by not letting you ride.”

He looked away from her and at Buck. He shook his head sadly. “What a fool I’ve been to think I can protect harm from coming to anyone. I couldn’t protect him. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I trust Him with my son. I trust Him to heal Buck.”

Boone turned back to Gabrielle and gently caressed her cheek. “I trust him with you, too. From here on out, no matter what happens, I won’t try to control you like that. You asked me just yesterday morning what my reasons were for wanting this marriage that we both agreed to. I walked away because I didn’t want to admit my fear.”

Gabrielle gasped as the truth dawned on her. “I thought you left me out there because of what I’d told you about my past.”

“Oh, no. Never would that cause me to turn my back on you. I didn’t realize it until just a few minutes ago, but I’ve been controlled by the fear I’ve been carrying around since Amanda passed on. It’s left me now, as I’ve been acknowledging it for what it was. And while the Lord’s been showing me the truth about it, He’s also let my heart feel a great love for you. I’m not planning to be consumed by fear anymore or trying to do God’s job. Will you forgive me, Gabrielle?”

“Yes. Oh, yes!” she whispered, as tears spilled onto her cheeks.

“What are y’all whispering so much for?” rasped Buck.

Boone stood up quickly and moved to the bedside, squeezing Buck’s hand. “We wanted to let you sleep, that’s why,” he answered gently.

Buck tried to sit up, but pain kept him from it, and Boone put a hand on his shoulder to keep him down. “Whoa, there! Don’t try to get up.”

Buck gasped. “Ouch! What happened?” He fell back onto his pillow and looked to his father.

Gabrielle said, “We hoped you could tell us.”

Buck stared up at her. “Well, hello, beautiful lady. Are you my nurse?”

Boone and Gabrielle exchanged nervous glances, disappointed that Buck didn’t recognize her, afraid that he’d lost his memory.

They looked back at Buck and watched the hint of a smile come to play at one corner of his mouth.

He stared up at them. “Don’t look so afraid. I was just messing with you. Isn’t that what you said to her when you woke up from your concussion, Pa?”

Boone and Gabrielle laughed as relief took hold. “Don’t scare me like that, Buck. I’m the only one allowed to call her ‘beautiful.’ After all, she’s my wife.”

“Well, of course she is, Pa. And I guess that makes her my ma, doesn’t it? And if you’re my ma, wouldn’t you want to do a motherly thing like help me out with the awful hunger-ache in my belly?”

Gabrielle wiped a tear from her cheek and took his hand. “Nothing in this world would make me happier at this moment. I’ll be right back.”

*******

Gabrielle brought a tray into the bedroom and set it on the nightstand. “You men go ahead and eat. I’m not hungry just now.”

“Well, I won’t mind having your share,” Buck teased.

“Well, it’s a done deal then. With that comment, I’m sure you’re going to be all right. We weren’t so sure after what you’ve been through,” Boone said as he picked up a bowl and handed it to Buck, who’d been propped into a sitting position by his father.

“I’m sorry that I can’t remember what happened, Pa. Like I said, I’m not sure what I was doing out there.” He paused just before taking a bite of soup, then looked a little panicked. “Did y’all find my guitar? Was it out there, too?”

Boone responded, shaking his head. “No. Apparently, you stopped off at the church building and dropped it off. I’m guessing you were planning to be back in time to play for the Christmas Eve service.”

“I missed the service? Well, shucks. I suppose I missed Christmas Day, too?” he asked.

“I have an idea,” said Gabrielle. “Let’s have our own belated Christmas in January. That’ll give you time to get back on your feet. Agreed?”

The men nodded as they began enjoying their late dinner.

She excused herself and went down the hall to her bedroom. She’d stored her packed bags into one corner of the room the day before. Thrilled that she’d not said anything to Boone about leaving, she quickly unpacked her clothes and began to put them in place.

Purposefully, she arranged her things in two of the four drawers in the chest. Next, she hung her clothes in the wardrobe, making sure to leave half of the space completely free of her possessions.

Then she stripped the bedding, placed clean sheets onto the bed, and remade it, fluffing the pillows. She glanced around the room. Smiling, she knew it was ready and wondered if Boone, too, would be ready.

*******

Buck had fallen into a deep and peaceful sleep, and they’d retreated to the parlor. Boone and Gabrielle sat side by side on the sofa and looked into the fire.

Gabrielle sighed deeply. “This has certainly been a memorable day. I think we shall never forget this Christmas, don’t you?”

Boone agreed and gazed at her, realizing for the hundredth time just how beautiful she was.

“I intend to remember it forever. I hope you will, too.” He slid down to the floor on bended knee and took her hands into his.

Her blue eyes widened and looked more beautiful than ever as they reflected the soft glow of the firelight. Her heart raced, and she flushed with the thrill of his touch.

“Gabrielle, oh, what a precious friend you’ve become. I never had the pleasure of asking you to be my bride. I know we’re already married, but I want more of you. I want your heart and, well, all of you. I want to offer myself as your true husband. All of me, too. If you’re not ready, I promise to wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to and do my best to underst—.”

Boone wasn’t able to finish the word as Gabrielle whispered, “I do,” just before she leaned forward and closed her eyes, waiting for the kiss that stole her breath away just as she’d imagined it would.