Gabriel's Hope (#1, Rhyn Eternal) (22 page)

“If you’re a tenth of the man everyone says you are, you’ll stop when I ask you to,” she whispered.

There was a pause. “Are you asking me to stop?”

She nodded.

His hand dropped. Deidre withdrew a few feet down the balcony, struggling with the heat streaking through her blood and scattering her rationale. She couldn’t think straight when he was close and not at all when he touched her. He knew it, which meant he was counting on her caving at some point. She wasn’t going to, anymore than she had to the tumor.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

She was quiet as she put form to her thoughts beyond the emotional turmoil. Her breathing steadied. Gabriel was waiting with the patience of Death, though he’d started to tense, indicating his guard was going up once more.

“I’m thinking I would’ve agreed three years ago,” she replied. “I spent too long fighting to live on my terms to give in, even to you. Whether I have three months or an eternity, I’m not going to stop fighting to live on my terms. We could really have something, Gabriel. But not like this.”

“Let me guess. On
your
terms.” The stormy note was back in his voice.

“No. As equals.” She guessed what he’d say before he broke the thick silence between them.

“I’m not willing to do that.”

Rejection hurt. It was hard to remind herself she’d done absolutely nothing to earn it in this life. Gabriel didn’t like past-Deidre and wasn’t willing to give her a chance. Or, maybe he tried and couldn’t do it. It was a huge pill to try to swallow, knowing someone didn’t like her for reasons she couldn’t control.

“Then I’m sorry, Gabriel,” she said.

He walked away. Deidre sensed his anger, though his movements were as controlled and purposeful as usual. She heard the door to the bedroom close and retreated from the chilly spring air back into her room.

Overwhelmed and upset, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to run or cry. Or maybe, just leave. Go back to the real world, where there were no demons or Immortals or the sexy man who wanted to claim her heart while offering her nothing in return beyond his bed. With his looks, he’d have no trouble finding company for the nights he wasn’t murdering people and stealing their souls.

She hated the thought. Deidre felt both alone and claustrophobic in the huge room. There was nowhere else for her to go, no more friends for her to run to. She couldn’t return to her apartment, and her savings were almost gone. She’d withdrawn everything from her retirement account when she was diagnosed terminal. Determined to do what she wanted with her life, she’d been good with her money but didn’t save anything. Dead women didn’t need cash.

Unless they didn’t die. She had no idea who was right: Wynn, who thought she was deteriorating, or Gabriel, who wasn’t going to let her die, so he could exact some sort of passive-aggressive revenge over eternity. Or Darkyn, whose offer seemed so much more objective than either Wynn’s or Gabriel’s.

Was she a lost soul? Distressed by the idea, she found herself standing before the French doors again, looking at the green haze over the forest. It didn’t appear to be far, and it was hours before she’d be asleep on her side of the world.

Anxious to be out of the Immortal stronghold, Deidre dug through her clothes to find the warmest she packed. She didn’t need much beyond jeans and jackets for an Atlanta winter. She had a cute hat she’d picked out and stuffed in one pocket of her backpack. Dressed warmly, she left her room and stood in the brightly lit, spacious hallway, not at all certain how to leave the stronghold.

Not wanting anyone to interfere with her plan for air, she drew a deep breath and asked the portal system to take her outside the stone fortress. Crossing through, she emerged outside, in the forest, a short distance outside the low walls around the massive fortress. Deidre was astonished by the size of the stone stronghold. It towered twenty stories tall and sat in a clearing the size of two football fields. It was built on high ground, and the forest sloped downward and away from the fortress.

Orienting herself, she caught sight of the green haze again and walked along the edge of the forest, seeking a path. Multiple dirt deer trails moved away. She needed the time to herself and hoped the connection to nature helped clear her head. She chose a trail that appeared to head in the general direction she wanted to go and began walking.

The forest was cold, the rustle of pine trees against one another faint. A breeze swept over the tops of the trees to make them sway but didn’t reach the still air of the forest floor. Night animals stirred. Deidre listened to their rustling and distant cries and focused on placing her feet along the path. The outside world distracted her from her troubled thoughts. She forced herself to notice how dark the sky was, the rich scent of earth in the air, the tickle of the pine needles that brushed her skin.

The path towards the lost souls was anything but direct. The twists and turns led her sometimes towards it, sometimes back the way she came. As she walked, the fear and helplessness uncoiled, loosening their grip on her chest. Her step grew less brisk. She began to marvel at the world around her again, something she hadn’t done in days. It calmed her to recall how beautiful and different nature was at night. The forest and darkness created a sense of cozy intimacy, one that held her without crushing her, unlike the rest of the world.

Deidre was breathless and upbeat when the lake came into view over an hour later. It was roughly round with a narrow panhandle that was closest to the fortress. The lake glowed like it was radioactive.

She stopped a dozen meters before the edge of the forest, wondering if there was any sort of hazard in being so close to whatever it was causing the lake to be green in the first place. A form melted from the shadows before her, and she held her breath.

Dressed all in black with weapons strapped in places identical to where Gabriel wore his, the tall man was lean with cold eyes. He scrutinized her for a long moment, eyes narrowing, before he stepped aside to rejoin the shadows. Deidre stared into the forest where he’d disappeared. Nothing moved. He hadn’t spoken or drawn weapons on her. If he was a sentry guarding the lake, he’d deemed her not a threat.

She inched closer to the point where he’d appeared then hurried by to the edge of the forest. She couldn’t see the far end of the lake from her viewpoint, but she was able to see across the narrow panhandle. The light from the water was bright enough to show who stood on the opposite shore, caught in what looked like a lover’s embrace.

Gabriel. And another woman. Deidre stared. They were kissing, their bodies pressed together and arms around each other.

The thought he had someone else – and this was the reason he couldn’t commit to her fully – never crossed her mind. Some relief trickled through her to know that his hatred of past-Deidre wasn’t the only reason he’d offered her the undesirable arrangement. He wasted no time finding himself a replacement when she refused his touch. At one point, she thought he cared for her a little. Not after this.

“The truth comes out eventually.” Wynn’s voice was quiet. “I’m an Immortal, and Gabriel has moved on after thousands of years at your feet.”

Deidre jumped. She faced the direction she’d come. Wynn’s gaze was on the figures across the lake, his impassive features bathed in green light.

“Are you alright, my dear?” he asked.

“Off and on,” she joked nervously. “Hard to keep track of what’s going on. Who to trust.”

His attention shifted to her. “I’ll tell you when it’s safe to turn around.”

“It’ll take more than that for me to trust you, Wynn.”

“I apologize, Deidre. I didn’t think it appropriate to tell you who I was. Things changed when you were dragged back into the Immortal world,” he said.

He always was able to soothe her. She found herself nodding, accepting his explanation more easily than even Gabriel’s.

“So, who are you?” she ventured. “Or do I want to know?”

“A friend to you. The rest is inconsequential.”

“You were dead.”

“Yes.”

“Why did I or … I guess, the past-Deidre bring you back?”

“You didn’t say.” He was amused. “I thought…” He considered her then looked across the lake again.

“What?” she asked. “Were we friends?”

“A little more than that.”

“How many people was past-Deidre sleeping with?” she demanded.

“You don’t want to know,” he said with a shake of his head. “Needless to say, you were efficient and dedicated at ensuring you always won.”

Toby’s description of her as a mega-bitch was sounding more and more accurate. Deidre didn’t know what to do about the trail of broken hearts past-Deidre had left.

“You think I brought you back because of that …er, relationship.”

“At first,” he said. “But past-Deidre had motivations deeper than anything I could understand. Whatever her plan was, she probably didn’t expect to be reborn as what you are now.”

“Someone who isn’t a sociopath,” she muttered. “I even fucked myself over, didn’t I?”

Wynn laughed. She didn’t need him to answer. Wynn’s gentleness, Gabriel’s ultimatum, the radioactive lake. She was edgy again after the hour it took to relax.

“You can look now,” he said, lifting his chin.

“I don’t want to. I dumped him. He can do what he wants.”

“It’s never so simple. Do you want to know how many times I walked away from past-Deidre?”

“No. Wynn, I couldn’t even dump Logan, and I’d been meaning to for months. I can’t hurt anyone and knowing that I used to…” her chin trembled. She shook her head. “Someone told me I had a long line of enemies. How did I make it this far?”

“Sometimes, I think that’s why you raised me from the dead-dead,” he admitted. “I’ve eliminated innumerable enemies of yours the past few years. I don’t know how you made it before that.”

“You killed them?” she asked, startled.

“Only to protect you.” His cool smile frightened her. Deidre crossed her arms. How many had she unknowingly killed since being reborn a human?

“My karma is beyond reparable,” she said. “Wynn, is it true Gabriel can prevent me from dying now?”

“You cannot die by his hand or the hand of nature,” Wynn said carefully. “The tumor is still growing, which means there is still a chance at cognitive deterioration.”

“So can I kill myself?”

“From what I know, yes. But, I am not Death,” Wynn added. “I cannot be certain what the result might be if you tried to kill yourself or if you died of unnatural causes.”

“Unnatural causes,” she repeated. “I don’t think you mean getting hit by a car, do you?”

“More like demon-induced death.”

“Demon-induced!” she laughed. “Oh, god, I think I’m gonna go crazy sometime soon.”

“What brings you to the lake?” Rhyn’s low growl was unmistakable.

Deidre resisted the urge to shrink back as she turned. He and Gabriel stood nearby, their approach silent. Wynn would’ve seen them walking over but was unfazed by the two men who terrified her.

“I wanted to go for a walk,” Deidre said. She avoided looking at Gabriel, not at all certain what to think after their exchange and seeing him with another woman. He wanted nothing to do with her, and she rejected him. Why did it hurt?

“Not you,” Rhyn said.

“Curiosity. Most lakes don’t glow green,” Wynn said in a casual voice.

All three of them were tense. Their energy made her skin tingle uncomfortably. Deidre moved towards the lake, away from the center of the triangle they formed. She didn’t want to be stuck in the middle when one of them snapped. Seeing Gabriel made her insides flutter and the world seem too small to be anywhere but his arms.

But Death on guard was something else entirely, and she wasn’t going to be the second woman to revel in the heat of his arms this night.

They were silent so long, she finally risked a look. Rhyn’s head was tilted, as if he was listening. She realized they weren’t totally in stare down mode; they were talking through their minds.

Could they
read
minds?

Her eyes went to Wynn. Was that how he always knew what to say when she was upset? How he gained her trust? And Gabriel, who she thought she’d bonded with on the beach their first night? He made her feel like she wasn’t alone for the first time in years. Was it all fake?

The more she learned of this place, the angrier she became. Everyone was lying to her or manipulating her. Or out to kill her. What frustrated her most: they were all probably justified in how they treated her, based on what she knew about past-Deidre.

But how did
she
deserve it? How obligated was she to make amends for something an entirely different person had done? The only thing they had in common was looks!

Furious, confused, she peered into the lake waters. The bottom of the lake was lined with green gems, the source of the strange light. They were beautiful and tiny, some sort of geological anomaly.

Immortals got their wealth from somewhere. That castle cost a fortune to build. If these were emeralds, it made sense that they sold these to build it.

“Wow,” she murmured, gazing out over the lake. The entire thing glowed. How many emeralds did it take to fill a lake this size?

She knelt on the beach area consisting of a stretch of pebbles and dirt. Some of the gems had been carried by gentle waves to the edges of the lake and deposited away from the bulk of the jewels. The glimmering lights were nestled among rocks and dirt.

Deidre pulled up her sleeve to reach the closest one. The lake water was freezing. She grimaced and submerged her arm to the elbow to reach the twinkling gem. Cold energy traveled through her as she gripped the emerald. She thought it a result of the water, until she withdrew her hand and held the gem in her palm.

She’d never seen a glowing emerald. Electricity whipped through her. Images flashed in her mind.

A playground near a mall. Shoddy apartments and an image in the mirror of a dirty toddler in a diaper. Shouting as Mother and Father fought. Gunshots. Pain, white light, peace.

She gasped and dropped it.