Garda - Welcome to the Realm (14 page)

“I promise, kiddo.” I pulled him to my chest again. “Aren’t you supposed to be going over to Robbie’s house?”

He pulled away, and I let him go. “Yeah, but I wanted to tell you I was sorry about your friend before I left.”

My vision wavered as it misted, and I responded quietly, “Thank you.” I cleared my throat, “Now go over to Robbie’s house and have a good time.”

“Can I take my new video game over?” he asked using the childlike voice I was used to.

“Sure, go grab it and head over. Mom and I have to leave in a few minutes.”

He was already running out of the door “Okay. Bye, Dad.”

I picked up my leather duty belt, the eighteen pounds it weighed felt more like fifty. I pulled it around my waist as Beth entered.

“You almost ready?” she asked me quietly, checking over my reflection.

I nodded briefly and went to task securing my belt. With a last straightening to my tie and duty gear, I turned and picked up my dress cap, heading to the door.

I stopped as I approached Beth, expecting her to turn and walk out of the room. Instead she turned her face up to mine, her expression sad.

“I’m sorry you have to do this today. I know it’s not easy.” She stepped closer and laid a gentle kiss on my lips.

“Thank you.” I cleared the hoarse sound out of my throat just as an air horn from a patrol car sounded outside. Her lips tipped up slightly with a brief smile before she turned and walked down the stairs.

For just a moment, I wanted to slam the door closed and refuse to go. I closed my eyes, “Please, God, give me the strength to make it through today.”

I walked down the stairs and out the front door. Joe was in his usual patrol car, clean and freshly polished, even the rims.

I watched Beth walk over to her car; she would follow us to the ceremony. Once she was inside hers, I slid into the front seat without a word. Joe nodded, and we drove towards the university stadium where the service would take place.

There were no churches in the area that were large enough to hold the amount of people expected to be present. Hundreds of cops would be there to pay their last respects to a sister of the Thin Blue Line, not to mention the hundreds of people that she had touched in her charity work, her friends, and her family. I knew I would feel humbled to see all those that cared about her.

The thought of carrying her body while all those people watched, knowing that it had ultimately been my fault that she died, tied my stomach in knots. My heart rate sped up, my palms grew damp.

We arrived at the stadium way too soon. People were putting the police cars into a processional line in a separate location from the civilian parking area. I took in the number of cars already there and listened as Joe spoke with someone. Our vehicle was moved near the front of the line.

We received our instructions as to where to stand, and I mindlessly kissed Beth on the cheek before she left to meet up with some other wives. The brothers and sisters in blue would stand together as one, an incredibly sad sight to behold.

The hearse pulled up to the back of the stadium, and my stomach rolled hard enough that I thought I would hurl. I started pacing around the parking area, suddenly wishing I had a cigarette, a habit I had given up years ago. The noise from the stadium grew louder as the minutes progressed.

I can’t do this. I can’t carry her out there with all these people. I looked at the back of the hearse, knowing that inside that simple wooden box lay the woman I loved with all my heart. Sweat rolled down the back of my neck. A hand landed on my shoulder and I turned, startled to see Tom Barrett, one of the other officers who was carrying the casket and who worked for our department.

“You holding up alright, O’Reilly?”

While absently shaking my head no, I turned to him and strained out the words, “Yeah, fine.”

“Mitch, we all know how you felt about her, your feelings were obvious. You shouldn’t be doing this, man, why are you?”

I skipped over the first part. Had we been so transparent? I wondered. “Joe talked me into it.” I leaned my head quickly in Joe’s direction.

“What an ass! Look if you want to step out, I’ll find someone to carry for you. You shouldn’t have to carry someone that you cared that much for.” His hand squeezed my shoulder, and I thought about his words.

“Thanks, Barrett, but I feel like I need to do this, for her.” A quick glance back to the hearse showed the funeral home director getting ready to open the back door. God, be with me here, I need your strength, I quickly prayed.

Barrett nodded in understanding and stepped away to give me room to breathe.

Too soon, the director told us to prepare, the ceremonies were about to start. The night before, a private service had been held with just Corey’s parents and her close friends. Today’s events were for the brothers and sisters in blue and the community she had helped. I could have gone to the smaller event, but there was no way I could say goodbye to her twice.

They pulled her casket out and we gathered around, stepping into the places to which we had been assigned. I stood in front on the left. Joe stood in the back right corner. Barrett stood on the opposite side of me; there was no need for words.

To the right side, the officers of her department stood in a double line, dressed in their Class A uniforms, somber and stern. During the funeral service, other departments were covering their township so they could all be here to put one of theirs to rest. They would follow behind the casket.

A few brief words were said, and I reached down to pick up the casket. I can’t do this, oh God, I can’t do this! My hands began to shake, and I swallowed bile in my throat.

Yes, you can,
a small voice echoed inside my head.
You can do this, Mitchell, for me, you can do this.
That voice sounded so much like Corey’s that I gasped slightly and gripped the brass bar tightly as my vision suddenly watered.

I can do this. For you, Corey, I can do it. We stood as one holding the heavy casket and our first steps were made. The bagpipes could be heard from nearby on the stadium field, and we moved toward the sound.

My legs still shook, but they continued to function. The casket stand stood in the field and we made our way towards it. There was silence from the stands and surrounding chairs. Only the mournful sounds of the bagpipes playing and the hollow beat of the drums marked our entrance.

We placed Corey on the stand and stood at attention as a final song was played. I stared out at the crowd. Thousands of people were here, more than I could have imagined. How loved she was. I fought back the tears as we stood ramrod straight, waiting for the final notes to float through the air.

Sixty minutes later, the service concluded. Multiple eulogies had been given about her strength and amazing character. Tears flowed while quiet chuckles were produced by the occasional happy memories recounted.

The time had come to move her to her final resting place, and I stood numbly beside the casket once again, walking back the way we had come. My body continued to move forward, but I could not think beyond the next step. With her safely back inside the hearse, we returned to our vehicles and prepared to follow her to the cemetery. The hardest part was about to commence.

~ Brock ~

I wanted to kick myself for what I said on the balcony. Instead of trying to get her to trust me, I had scared and angered her. I punched a hole in the wall of my quarters.

How could I get her to understand that she should trust me and that she needed to just forget about Mitch? What kind of hold did he have over her? Were they really soul mates? Is that what held them so tightly bound together?

I paced around the inside of my quarters. I could feel her pain, feel her frustration even now. Her tears pulled at me, but I had to give her space. I had to come up with a way for her to trust me enough to come to me, to reach out to me.

What was going to happen if I couldn’t get her to seek me? Would she destroy her chances of heaven by doing something on the Earth plane while she was being tested? If we had the connection, would it keep her from being pulled by the feelings? Would it protect her from making the wrong decision?

What would I do if the connection wasn’t there? Would I be able to deal with the consequences?

Montgomery phased beside me, and I jumped slightly, so lost in my own anguished thoughts.

“How did it go?” he asked with an eyebrow up.

“Not good. I scared her again,” I shook my head and plopped down in a large brown leather chair, laying my head back against the cool smooth material.

Montgomery laughed softly and sat down on the matching leather couch. “I’m not surprised.”

I considered him, “I don’t know how to convince her that she needs to let go of Mitch without telling her what will happen to her if she doesn’t.”

“It is not your place to tell her that. Why are you so afraid to reach out for the connection?”

“Why are you so sure there will be one?” I threw back at him.

He leaned back, and the leather crinkled in the quiet. “It’s written in the stars, and you know that.”

“Yeah, okay.” I leaned my head back again, staring at the ceiling. Coralenna’s face filled my head. I wanted so much for it to be true, but what if it wasn’t? What if that dream never got fulfilled because she made the wrong choice?

Even now I couldn’t affect her choices. I couldn’t even guide her now. There was no way to put thoughts into her head now that she was one of us. I could feel some of her thoughts, feel her emotions and understand them because I knew her so well, but I couldn’t guide her.

As if thinking about her brought the feeling, I sat straight up, “Dammit, she’s phasing again!”

~ Corey ~

Later that night, I lay upon my bed and stared at the ceiling. Tears leaked from the sides of my eyes as I thought about the words Brock and I had shared.

Was it possible to let Mitch go? Was I strong enough? Could I turn to Brock and find out what this connection was that charged between us? Could I go from one man to another?

As I lay there, I immediately felt the pull. Voices were speaking to me, hundreds of them at once, but one so much stronger and louder than the others. The tug at my consciousness was so intense and demanding that I didn’t dare deny it, and I allowed my body to phase.

The sun was high in the sky, and I blinked at the brightness. The voices were everywhere, my name on the tip of their tongues, but Mitch was the one that drew my attention.

He stood beside a casket with five other officers, decked out in their formal uniforms. He filled my vision and I soaked it up. From the dress uniform that fit so perfectly to the shine on his belt and boots, I absorbed everything.

His internal debate was strong and I could hear him fighting for the strength to pick up the casket. I didn't know if I could influence him or not, but I tried. A sense of accomplishment soothed me as I saw him bend to pick up the brass bar.

The officers were taking their first steps when I felt my worried entourage arrive from the Realm. I ignored them and walked along with the casket, engrossed in the concentration of the men carrying my Earthly body.

“Coralenna, I don’t think you want to be here for this,” Montgomery’s concerned voice broke through the silence as his hand wrapped around the top of my left arm.

David’s hand quickly slipped around my right arm, effectively keeping me from advancing. Brock stepped in front of me, confusion and hurt on his face.

“How did you get here?”

“I heard them, they called me, and I couldn’t ignore it. Let me go.” I tried to pull my arms away from them, but they held fast. I knew if I tried hard enough, I could break free, but I hoped they would release me on their own.

“It’s not a good idea for you to be here. This is your funeral. It will only cause you pain,” Montgomery spoke compassionately beside me.

“More pain you mean? More than I already feel? Who cares? Let me go. They called me here, he needs me here. I want to be here. I need to see this,” the words tumbled out of my mouth towards Montgomery before I turned my attention to Brock.

“Maybe it will allow me to let go,” I whispered, knowing he would understand the meaning. He appeared to mull over my words. Could I fool him? Was it wrong of me to try?

Yes, but being able to see Mitch was worth it.

“Fine, but I’m staying here with you.”

“We will all stay here with her,” David said from my other side, and they let go of my arms.

I stepped around Brock and walked forward on the spongy grass, scanning over the sea of faces that stood on the field around me: hundreds of police officers in full dress uniform all at attention, chins up, shoulders back, hands in fists at their sides. All of them were lining the area around the field. Up on the stands, thousands of people, men, women, and children, stood watching. I was awestruck by the attendance.

I turned to the casket, a basic oak box adorned with long brass rails and handles: simple, elegant, and mine. I swallowed tightly.

As the pastor began speaking, I took the time to tear my focus from the wooden box and notice all the others like me mixing in amongst the living people.

 They mingled in and around the officers and civilians standing, stopping every once in a while to lay a gentle hand on someone who was grieving. Tash stood behind my parents, a hand on each of their shoulders, relieving the worst of the pain they must have felt at burying their only child.

A sob stuck in my throat as I witnessed the sadness on their faces, and I walked to them, wanting to reach out and console them, to tell them that I was fine, that I would watch over them and not to worry. Tash was so intent that he either ignored me or didn't realize I was there, until I laid my hands over his.

A wave of emotion roared between us as his deep chocolate eyes opened and met mine. His ability to calm was immense, and it filled me, but I pushed it away from me and back to my parents.

My father’s shoulders straightened slightly, and my mother sniffed.