Geist (17 page)

"But she's in another plane, Dags. There's no guarantee we're ever going to get her out. I'm real. I'm here—" 

Dags stood. He wasn't a mean guy. On the contrary—he was the sweetest guy on the planet. But even I could feel him pulling away from her. "Rhonda—nothing has changed. I know you were there with me, taking care of me. And I appreciate it. I don't think I'd have gotten through then and this past month without you. But Zoë's alive, and she's here," he put both his hands on his chest. "Inside of me. I love her. I will only love her."  

I was...floored. I didn't know what to do. I just stood dumbfounded and I knew on some level he was saying this out loud not only for Rhonda's benefit but for my own. He knew I was listening. Knew I was here. We were connected in so many ways even without the page. 

Rhonda nodded slowly. "Then you really have made your choice?" 

"Yes. I have." 

"You know Daniel still loves her." 

Sigh. 

"Yes I do. And I'm willing to accept that. He was in her life before I was. And they went through hell together. I would never stand between their friendship." 

Rhonda reached up to her face and I felt my own heart lurch when I realized she'd wiped away a tear. "Joe loves her too." 

"I don't think Joe realizes that. Joe's a good man, Rhonda. He loves you too." 

"Not like he loves her," Rhonda looked up and I could see the smudged eye-liner. The red rimmed eyes. Shit. Damn shit. "They
all
love Zoë." 

"Rhonda don't—" 

Someone knocked on the door. Rhonda pulled her hand away and wiped at her face before she got up and went into the bathroom. Dags stood and combed his fingers through his hair. "Come in." 

Mom stepped in the room. She looked rested and just plain perky in her dark jeans and over-sized tee-shirt. It's not that my mom was big; she just had really huge boobs. "Darren—oh you're awake. You feel okay? Have you seen Rhonda?" 

"She's in the bathroom," he pointed to the closed door. "And I'm fine. How're you?" 

"Good. We're gathering downstairs. I have some things everyone needs to hear." Her gaze lingered on Dags for a moment before she smiled. "Darren...she'll be fine. She really will." And then she left. 

But he stood in the center of the room and put his hands to his face. "Which one, Nona. Or both?" 

-26-

Urgent Message

Dags showered pretty quickly and I kept my hands off of him. 

Barely. 

I heard a lot of voices as we stepped out of the back bedroom. It sounded like everyone was here. 

But as we moved forward I felt a cold wave move over
my
body back in the Throne. Dags stopped and braced himself against the wall. "Z-Zoë?" 

I staggered inside the Mind Theater. Alice called out to me, but I only heard Geist. 

Get back to your body! 

"What was—" 

Now! 

I released control and shot back down the silver cord. I slammed back into my body and felt—

Everything. 

JESUSMARYMOTHEROFGOD—

I'd spent so much time inside of Dags
not
feeling that I'd forgotten what real, in your face sensation was like. This was the same agony I used to experience when I'd stay out of body too long. I arched my back inside the Throne and opened my mouth to scream. 

Be quiet! It is here. Do not let it know you are in pain. If it knows, it will realize what you have been doing. 

I bit my tongue and kept my whining to myself. The burning in my veins faded but it left me a ringing headache. 

Geist sounded worried. I couldn't remember ever hearing an emotion like that in his voice. I took several deep breaths and opened my eyes. I saw the abandoned theater through the murkiness. I could make out people in the audience—the same kinds of things that were there the day I was locked in here when I released Sophia. 

And there was someone else standing outside the Throne. 

I recognized him. I'd just seen him but this was the first time he'd shown up here since he'd locked me in this prison. 

I faced him from inside the Throne and cleared my throat. "Well...nice to finally see you father. You fucking
asshole
." 

-27-

That's Zoë To You

When I was a kid I used to daydream about my dad. He was strong and handsome and was off in our kingdom slaying the monsters that wanted to hurt me and mommy. 

That's what mom had said to her little four year old. 

And as I grew up I realized he wasn't brave and strong, but weak and a coward. A deadbeat dad who'd run off and abandoned his family. I'd lost much of that wonder about my dad. But I'd never lost my need for him. 

A girl needed her father, right? To keep away all the bad guys. 

So...what do you do when your dad
is
the bad guy? 

He stood in front of the Throne. The picture of elegance and poise. "You've been quiet for several days." 

I moved forward. I was heavier in body than in spirit. I realized I also had Maureen with me. Was any of the rage I felt hers? Or was it all mine? "You'd rather I curse your name more often? What does it matter,
daddy
? No one comes to see me. Especially not you."

He narrowed his eyes. He still looked as beautiful as ever. No outward sign that I'd handed him his ass on a platter. "I am never happy when my daughter is sad." 

"You think I'm sad then? Why don't you come in here and give your daughter a hug?"

"Why were you crying? Are you dreaming, Zoetrope?" 

"My name is Zoë. And I only dream of one thing," I put my hands on the surface of the Throne. That was as close as I could. "Getting out of here so I can
kill
you." I didn't know where that came from. 

From the moment I'd slammed back into my body I felt rage. Anger. Resentment. 

He looked sincerely surprised at my reaction but didn't step back. "That's quite a change of demeanor, Zoetrope. Are you feeling all right?" 

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What are you fishing for? Why are you here?" 

"I told you. I sensed my daughter was sad. I wanted to be of comfort." 

"ASSHOLE!" I charged at the Throne's surface. "You put me in here—locked me away from everyone I love—and you want to know why I'm sad?" 

Adiran did step back then. His eyes widened. "Zoetrope—you need to calm down. You need to sleep and relax and be calm." He had his hands out as if backing away from a wild animal. 

They were shaking.

His hands were shaking. 

Why was he afraid? Why was he asking me questions? Why hadn't he asked me about this other ghost in my body? Why did he want me to stay calm?

The answer that came to me surprised me. 

He...he doesn't know. He can't touch me inside of the Throne. I'd always assumed he'd put me in the Throne so he could control me. Yet from his reaction just now, he wasn't controlling anything. 

A Virtue cannot control the Phantasm inside the Throne. He has to use manipulation in order to make you behave the way he wants. Before you found a way back to the
Grimoire
, you
were
under his control. Now you have something he has tried to deny you. 

"What has he tried to deny me?"   

Hope.

Hope. I could see that now. Before I'd traveled back to Dags I'd lost hope. Hope of ever seeing him, or mom, Rhonda, Jason, Joe, any of them, again. I stared at Adiran Martinique. "He wanted me to believe there was no hope. The other Virtues came to see me and it was always the same thing. You cannot escape. This is your destiny. You have no choice." 

"Zoetrope—who are you talking to?"

This is the secret. I see it now. If he keeps you alone and isolated you will never resonate and the borders remain closed. He needs you to be depressed. To feel isolated. 

I laughed. "You can't make me do anything, can you daddy?" I narrowed my eyes. "What am I doing that you don't like? What's happened that brought you all the way down here to see your little puppet?"

For the record—this was not me. Totally not. What I felt in there was like raging hormones. I didn't know if I'd left all that resentment behind while I'd been out playing Familiar and it'd had its own little party in my head and just got madder and madder. 

"Zoetrope—you will answer me." 

Oh...wow. He sounded pissed. 

Good. 

Are you listening to me? That is the answer, Zoë. As long as you do not resonate the borders remain closed. This is what they want. They do
not
want you to be the Phantasm.

I sneered at my father. "Is that right, Daddy dear? You don't really want me to resonate, do you? You don't want me to become the Phantasm—because then I can open up every fucking goddamn border I want and let the whole of the Abysmal Realm eat you alive!" 

The people in the seats were running out. Something big was happening.

Zoë—something is wrong. Why are you so angry? 

"Why am I angry? Can't you tell? This bastard ruined my life!" 

The Throne shook. And I mean shook. I felt the theater move. 

This felt like PMS on steroids. What the hell was wrong with me? 

My dad had his face against the glass. "You will answer me.
Who
are you talking to?" 

"I want to hurt him," I put my face against the glass in front of my dad's. "I want to reach my hands through this glass and strangle the life out of—" 

NO! 

Dad and I both moved back from the surface. I felt hands around me from behind and knew it was Geist. 

No Zoë! You told me you did not want to resonate. If you continue down this path you will. You must stop! 

I fought against him and the Throne rocked. The glass cracked. The theater shook. 

And Adiran was there, staring bug-eyed into the murky depths at me. 

Zoë if you do this you will never be able to return. You will become the Phantasm and there will be nothing I can do to save you! 

I snarled at my father and unfurled my wings. They slammed against the throne's edges. 

If you do this you will never see Darren again! 

Darren...

I saw his face replace my father's. I felt his touch on my hand. Darren. I thought of my mom. My wings vanished and I felt my temper subside. 

"You see it?" Adiran pointed at me in the throne. "Just behind her! What is that?" 

What got in? 

Faces pressed against the throne and stared in at me. I twisted from Geist's grip and looked back at him. He wasn't wearing Joe's face. He wasn't even a he. 

He was—

Maureen? 

Now it all made sense. All those negative emotions. Those were hers, not mine. I'd left her alone in my body where she'd started to feel trapped. Maureen had always felt this way. She had never wanted to be a Familiar. Her life had been ripped away just as mine had. She'd been killed by Shadow People and thrust into this new life with no choice. 

I was feeling my own frustration and resentment amplified by hers. 

This was just getting all kinds of screwed up. I reached out and grabbed Geist's hand. "You look like Maureen," I hissed. 

His eyes widened and he became Joe again. 

"It's Maureen, Geist. She's awake and she's going to resonate isn't she?" 

He nodded.
They know something is in here with you.
 

"What does that mean?" 

"What is it in there
with
you?" my dad had his hands on the glass and for the first time since I'd known he was still alive I saw him as a mere human. A panicked, frightened human. 

I looked back at Geist. "What do we do? Maureen's gonna blow." 

She gained strength when you came back. Perhaps if you leave again she will go dormant.

"Do we know that'll work?" 

No. But do you want the alternative? 

"If you're lying to me—" my dad was screaming. "What is that?" 

"You'll do what?" I spun and looked at him. I wanted nothing more than to grab him and throw his head against the glass of the egg—

All is done. 

Huh? 

Suddenly my dad was yanked backward and then slammed head first into the throne's surface. It didn't crack and break like I'd hoped but to my surprise his head passed through up to his shoulders. He was sticking inside with me. My hands went around his neck—

Just as quickly I was shoved back into the Throne—shoved, not yanked—and my dad was thrown two feet away. The audience surrounded him as he started yelling. "The Geist is there! It's in the Throne! We need to contain it! If it finds a way out and into the Planes it can cause a Revival!" 

A revival? What the hell did that mean?

The theater cleared out. It was just my dad standing there on the stage inside the shaking theater.

"Zoë...it has to go back where it's supposed to be. It has a purpose and a function and if it fails at that everything will change." 

I really was staring at him like he'd lost his marbles. "What the hell are you talking about? There's nothing in here but me." 

"I can see it, Zoë. If it gets out it will go after what is most powerful. It will try and devour it. It needs knowledge and it is always hungry for it. It will destroy you, all of the Planes, and your friends with it." 

He is lying, Zoë. He does not know me. 

I held out my hands. "What the hell are you talking about?
What
will do all these things?"

He didn't answer. As I watched him I knew where I got the habit of pacing and talking to myself. "That's
it
...that's what I fought in that basement. It's already escaped. It's found its way into the
Grimoire
's host. We don't have a choice. We're going to have to destroy the boy." 

"What?" I shrieked and beat on the glass. "What are you talking about? You can't touch him dad, I love him!"