Gemini Rain (5 page)

With Fr. Singleton kindly carrying out his duty to perfection, Lauren watched him knowing it was just another part of his job
-
he met Peter once when Keith was christened. Then Peter’s brother, now the eldest of the Connolly family told everybody of how he knew Peter both as a brother and a true friend. Lauren recognised some of what he said but then she knew Peter as a husband, an individual and more importantly as a
businessman, bitterly thinking
–
‘
that’s the difference, now I know the difference.
’

Looking around the crowd, Lauren suddenly felt the need to see if anyone else knew
too
immediately spotting a face she didn’t want to be there.
‘
Detective Inspector O’Reilly!
’
nearly screaming out his name as anger burst from her chest
and
flushing her cheeks, that bastard knows but is stupidly ignoring it! Feeling certain he would visit her house again before the Inquest,
Lauren decided
she’d let him know her thoughts then. 

Or should she? 
‘
Will it uncover things best left alone, should I move on and forget.  What’s the best
plan Lauren, think, what will this
do to Peter’s family or our kids if I press O’Reilly to dig deeper.
’

‘No!’ she whispered not noticing
Emma
turn to look up at her.

**********

The mourner watched Lauren closely,
‘
oh yeah you really loved him didn’t you, stupid bitch you can’t even cry not even one crocodile tear. I know you Lauren.
’
The mourner smirked bending their head forward, an automatic reaction as the priest recommenced his prayers. Pretending to mutter the prayers, their mind was on previous events, which to their delight now led to this morning,
‘
and what are you going to do now Lauren? Try to live your happy, spoilt life now? Is this warning enough?
’

The mourner couldn’t disguise the smirk now turning into a grin and their broad shoulders straightened as the emotion suddenly grew to anger
–
‘
Think you could stop me? Never! Twice you’ve tried before even
partially
succeeding the first time but now I’ve won, I’m learning and you won’t win the next time either, if you have the guts to try and stop me again.  Your deceitful, hidden attempt is now lying in a coffin and soon six feet of mud will hide his secrets.
’

The mourner’s head remained bowed but watched Lauren with eyes lifted toward her, the pain created in the forehead with this action was easily ignored.  Noticing an angry expression on Lauren’s face the mourner’s eyes followed her glare towards a man in the crowd immediately recognising the policeman she was staring at. The mourner knew their decision not to return to the house afterwards was not one of their better ideas.  Maybe they should just for appearances sake,
‘
after all one must pay our respects to the bereaved as well as the dead.
’

**********

The day continued as it’s started as if on a cloud Lauren floated through. She watched Peter’s parents, still struggling, still trying to comprehend the events that
have
unfolded in the past three days. It was too much for Peter’s father, fighting a battle of his own, Lauren could see how the cancer was wreaking havoc with his body as he struggled to sit down and wipe his brow.  That slow, painful disease was winning or more to the point Peter Snr. was losing. When
the news spread through Dublin
that Peter Connolly had died everybody automatically presumed it was Peter Snr. with visitors and phone calls flooding the Connolly
’
s
home
. Some even phoning Lauren looking for her husband to offer their condolences.

‘
What’s it like to bury your own child,
’
she asked herself a
s she stared at her parents-in-
law squeezing the hands of her own children so tightly Keith chugged at her expressing his discomfort with a simple 
‘
Ouch.
’

Finally all were gone except for Lauren’s parents and Peter’s sister and brother-in-law
Debbie
and Pat.
Emma
and Keith played outside with their cousins as the adults sat around the large glass dining room table.

Lauren watched as her children played, they were smiling. Did they understand there was something amiss, someone miss
ing? Surely they heard the argument
s she and Peter were having,
Emma
often asked why Daddy was working so late in the office and
then
leaving for work
so early
before they got up for school. Lauren would just brush her
young daughter
aside giving her some menial excuse, guiltily biting her lip at that thought she admitted hardly knowing her children and visa versa, it was like her own young family life repeating itself. 
‘
Things,
’
she determined again,
‘
are
going to change.
’

The group sat there for maybe a half-hour with silence; some small talk then silence again. Sometimes Lauren joined in, but all the while she was watching the children play and thinking. For the past month her track of thought was on the future, rarely on what happened in the past and with the events of the past three days her thinking now changing to a definite line of action. Suddenly she stopped watching and turned her body to the assembled
around the table
sitting silently, awkwardly.

Lauren looked at them individually, searching their faces for what they expected was going to be discussed,
‘
my parents think I’m going to mention the Will, well tough shit I’m not,
’
she thought lightly to herself.

Scrutinizing each individual, nobody could look her in the eye, with
Debbie
and Pat she understood it was more awkwardness because of the circumstances of Peter’s death and
Debbie
often admitted she never felt comfortable being in the sa
me company as Lauren’s mother.
With her father it was helplessness in being unable to change the situation he now found his only daughter in. And then there was Patricia, surprised her mother was unable to look at her, ‘why could we never be friends Mam?’ she thought as regret and bitterness enmeshed with the tangle of other emotions inside her.

But Lauren knew this just to be another of her crazy dreams, Patricia always tried to drum into Lauren the need for serious, business-like approach to life but when Lauren was younger she flitted from one idea to another never listening. Their relationship as rebel teenager and mother was highly volatile and unfortunately it continued when Lauren and Peter joined and rescued the
logistics
business when it was on the verge of bankruptcy. Even though Patricia was still at the helm Lauren often felt there was a constant compet
ition between the two of them. 
Looking at her mother, her once soft face now had hard lines etched around her eyes and mouth matching the hard line she took in life, her dark
grey
hair cropped short making her features even sharper, her once olive skin now more tawny.  Lauren sadly realised in looks and character that they never had and probably never will have anything in common.

As if she could read
Lauren’s mind Patricia broached the unwanted subject surrounding the group
, her steel blue eyes piercing into Laurens for the first time that day, ‘Is the Will sorted Lauren?
That is if there is
an actual Will.
And are you returning to work next week?’ The company Patricia knew couldn’t handle being short two members of the management - one maybe, so she decided to kill both her queries in two short sharp questions.

‘No, I won’t be returning,’ was the curt response, ‘I’ll discuss that with you and Dad another day,’ Lauren ignored the question about the Will.

‘The time for business talk is not now Patricia,’ Lauren’s dad quickly intercepted the way the conversation was leading.  Gerard always knew when to cut a subject short particularly when it was an unwanted conversation between Lauren and Patricia. ‘Lauren has a lot to handle over th
e next few days and weeks.’
Turning to his daughter, ‘y
ou take as much time as you want my love,’ Gerard said softly.

Patricia glared at her husband, two against one; it was always the bloody same why couldn’t he take his wife’s side for once. She could see how he was looking at his
daughter with sympathy and love -
they are so alike both are superficial and childish. Okay so Gerard has some business sense but the soft
-
hearted idiot can never say no, now he hides himself away in the warehouse, running around as if he knew what he was doing. 
‘
How many times did I drag him from the pub after he and his so-cal
led friends drank the profits, t
hat is before Peter and I
stepped in,
’
she always proudly ascribed the survival of the logistics company to both herself and Peter
- Lauren tagged along for the excitement. At least that’s what she sharply told people whenever they had the nerve to praise Lauren
’s work
to her face.

‘Right then I think it’s time we should leave, are you ready Gerard?’ quickly she rose from her chair and left the table, Patricia hated waiting for nothing to happen and knew her question of the Will would not be answered.

‘Do you want us to go love?’ Gerard searched Lauren’s face for a negative answer; hope was teetering from every line on his face.

‘I’m sorry Dad but I need to talk to
Debbie
and Pat,’ Lauren watched his reaction knowing it would be of disappointment.
‘
Christ don’t do this to me now Dad, I feel guilty en
ough as it is,
’
Lauren’s
shoulders slumped
despairingly.
Her mind was made up and,
just
in case she cowardly changed her mind, once Lauren informed someone of her decisions it was rare for her to back down. But she couldn’t do anything without
Debbie
and Pat’s help. ‘Please Dad,’ placing her hand on his she pleaded hoping he would understand now and of her decision for the future.

Reluctantly he rose from the chair noticing that Patricia was already wearing her coat and holding his on her arm.
‘
Has s
he no feelings for her daughter?
’
W
ith one angry look he let Patricia
read
his opinion of her abrupt action. Turning once more to Lauren, his face softened wanting to say something but in the end he just shrugged, walked towards her kissing her cheek, ‘Take care, my laurel,’ he whispered.

Lauren head jerked up surprised at those words; he rarely said them to her nowadays.
‘
It’s as if he knows,
’
she thought.

With her parents gone Lauren then turned to
Debbie
and Pat observing the surprised look on their faces, she let out a nervous half chuckle. How helpful they’ve been in the past three days, of course they were in mourning too for the loss of Peter but as usual they were there when Lauren needed them most.  They were always reliable and solid, taking care of
Emma
and Keith after school and whenever she and Peter were working late.

‘The kids see more of
Debbie
and Pat than they do of us,’ was Lauren’s regular complaint to Peter, bitterly remembering how he would respond with the usual shrug, ‘That’s life, love.’ A realisation suddenly dawned on her, how her decision would affect their lives too.
Emma
and Keith were so much a part of their life and that of their own children.

‘
On with it then,
’
she told herself,
‘
and for God’s sake
you’ve got to
try to
make it
sound optimistic!
’
Adjusting herself
in her chair again
she commenced, ‘I’ve made a decision,’ she stalled, was she going to say the right thing but then a sudden surge of energy gave her the courage, ‘as soon as things are sorted here we’re leaving for France.
For good, I mean, permanently.
’

‘You’re what!’ they both chorused.

‘Oops, I’m sorry have I surprised you,’ Lauren piquantly replied.