Authors: Jennifer Bardsley
Tags: #teen, #young adult, #science fiction, #exploration, #discovery, #action, #adventure, #survival
“Meet me?” I ask. But that’s not what I want to say. I want to ask her what the hell is going on. How could she do that to Cal?
“Now go to your cloister and grab what you need.” Lydia slips the photograph back in her pocket. “We leave for Nevada tonight. I’m taking you to Plemora.”
If Lydia really is taking me to Plemora, then that will make everything all right. If I get to meet Barbelo, then he’ll make everything okay.
Can I trust what Lydia is saying?
I could follow her directions right now and still be safe. I could run to my cloister and lock myself inside, like I told Seth I was going to do forever. I could stay in there and never come out.
That would mean leaving Cal unguarded with Lydia, and I won’t do that. I don’t know what Lydia would do to Cal alone here with her gun.
But if Lydia thinks I’m disobeying her, then we’re both done for.
I tilt my head and look up at her with soft eyes, the perfect look of submission Ms. Corina taught me years ago. “Can’t I take some of your clothes, Ms. Lydia? I don’t want to ever leave you again. Headmaster Russell made me think you were in danger!” I make my chin quiver.
“Oh, baby.” Lydia hugs me across Cal’s lopsided body. “Don’t listen to anything that buffoon has to say. Grab my suitcase and let’s go.”
That’s what we do. When we close the doors to Cal’s cloister, Lydia locks him in there for good. I have to follow her, even though I have no idea if Cal is still alive. So I try not to think about him. I try not to think about Cal kissing my cheek or teaching me about science. I try not to think about how worried he was the night I went out riding or how he flew across the ground, attacking those Viruses and yelling at them to leave his kids alone. I try not to think about what Cal said to me just now, maybe the last words I’ll ever hear him say.
Blanca. Remember you are loved.
I wish there was a way to fix this. I wish somebody would tell me what to do. But the only person I can count on right now is me.
That’s how I know I’m screwed.
Keep yourself safe. Leave a note. Don’t trust Headmaster Russell
. Those are the instructions Cal has ingrained in me. Those and the last direction he gave,
Remember you are loved.
But I’m in Lydia’s car right now leaving Silicon Valley, and I have no idea if I’ll ever come back. All the road signs point to Nevada.
“Don’t lean too close to the windows,” Lydia cautions, as she shifts gears.
“Yes, Ms. Lydia. Of course, Ms. Lydia.” I pull back and align my body to the seat. From the corner of my eye, I can still see the billboards: Trevor and me kissing in the rain. Sarah and her wrinkle cream. The dozens of other Vestals I know selling things money can’t buy.
Then we pass a newsboard.
the vestal ethan found dead, hands severed!
A chill comes across me, and I feel my palms go sweaty. I turn to Lydia, not wanting to utter the words, but needing to know the truth. “Is Ethan dead?”
Lydia keeps her eyes on the road. “Yes. Barbelo’s been monitoring him for months.”
“Why?”
“Ethan corrupted himself. He sealed his fate as soon as he got those chips.”
That’s not true, and I know it. Ethan sealed his fate as soon as he got his golden cuff. I look down at my own wrist and wish I could tear the platinum right off.
Lydia flicks on the turn signal before changing lanes. “Once you enter the public world, you can never go back. Ethan opened himself up to chaos when he got those chips. Barebelo said it was my duty to cleanse him.”
Lydia killed Ethan? Something inside me breaks. My heart crushes my lungs, and my stomach feels sick. A dark thought occurs to me. “People might think it’s me,” I say, “because I was riding my motorcycle.”
“That, and the security guard footage.” Lydia smiles like it’s her own private joke.
“I have to go back, Ms. Lydia! I have to let people know it wasn’t me.”
“Already taken care of it. Open up the glove box.” Lydia glances at me sideways.
The glove box opens with a
thud
. Inside is a video camera smashed to bits, along with a security box.
“Nobody’s going to know you were there unless we allow them to,” Lydia says.
“Good.” I fight for the muscles in my face to relax. “I knew I could count on you.”
“But why’d you go over there in the first place?”
I don’t have to lie. I tell the truth straight out. “I was worried about you. Headmaster Russell said you were in danger. I thought maybe Ethan would know where you were.”
“Why Ethan?” Lydia asks me. “Did you know about the finger-chip?
Shoot! Is this another trick?
“Ethan showed me,” I answer. I just don’t say when. Instead I look at her, and I think about Cal. I remember the blood pouring from Cal’s temple where Lydia hit him with her cuff. I remember locking him behind us in the lead room. “I was worried about you,” I say to Lydia, letting the tears finally come. “I would have done anything to help you.”
“Oh, baby.” Lydia reaches out for my hand and squeezes it. “It’s going to be okay. We’re together now.”
“Are you still my Vestal-mom?”
Lydia doesn’t say anything. She only nods her head. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the tears streaming down her face were for real.
But I bet Lydia is the master of crying on cue.
Keep yourself safe. Leave a note. Don’t trust Headmaster Russell. Remember you are loved.
I repeat Cal’s instructions to myself over and over again like a new mantra. Maybe he was really trying to protect me all along. Now I’ll never know.
I wish I could go back and have more courage. I wish I could go back and choose me. I wish I could have been Cal’s daughter for real. Not just his Vestal.
But all I have left of Cal is his chip-watch.
A lot of good it does me now. Lydia’s car is completely cloistered. Wherever she’s taking me will probably be cloistered too. Even if I could connect to the outside world, I wouldn’t know how. And who would I call?
Seth. I would call Seth. I can still feel his heart beat right next to mine if I remember hard enough.
“Finally, a gas station.” Lydia pulls the car up to a pump. “I’ll fill up before we head over the mountains. Stay here.”
Keep yourself safe. Leave a note. Don’t trust Headmaster Russell. Remember you are loved.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” I unbuckle my seatbelt.
There’s a sharp intake of breath. “That’s not a good idea.”
“I can’t hold it anymore.”
“Fine.” Lydia sighs. “Let me fill up the tank and then I’ll escort you.”
As soon as she leaves the car, I take out the chip-watch. If I can get out of this cloistered car, maybe I can use it to call for help. I struggle to figure the watch out, but I’m not sure it’s on. Then I hear Lydia coming back! I pocket the watch right before she opens her door.
“Put on my scarf.” She tosses me something red and wooly.
“But—”
“Just do it. We don’t want to arouse suspicion.” Lydia opens my door, and I scramble out, the red scarf bound around my neck like a noose. Together we walk to the back of the station where the restrooms are. She unlocks the door with a key dangling from a wooden chain. “You’ve got two minutes, darling. I’ll be right here.”
As soon as the door clicks behind me, I flush the toilet. Then when the water’s still running, I tap the watch and pull up the screen. “Message Seth,” I say softly. But nothing comes up. “Call Seth,” I say, trying again, desperate to see that inked black snake.
“Dad?” Seth’s voice sounds from my wrist.
“No, it’s me, Blanca.” I whisper.
“Blanca? Are you okay? Where are you?”
“You’ve got to get Cal,” I say quickly. “Lydia hurt him. He’s in his rooms.”
“I’m on my way! Where are you?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “She’s taken me, Seth. We’re going to Nevada. I think she might have—”
But I don’t get to say anything else. Lydia’s behind me with the cold tip of the gun in my back.
“Drop it, Blanca.”
I don’t want to, so I don’t. She pushes the gun barrel deeper into my skin, and I reconsider. I undo the strap and hand the chip-watch over.
“Blanca? Blanca?” Seth calls to me frantically over the connection.
Lydia drops the watch into the toilet, silencing it forever.
“That was special,” I somehow whisper. “Cal gave it to me.”
“Really?” Lydia puts her gun away. “You can keep your little trinket if you want. It won’t work now.” She rolls her eyes when I reach into the toilet to fish out the chip-watch. “Why were you calling him anyway?” Lydia asks as we walk to the car. “You can’t ever trust a Virus. You know better than that.”
I do know better than that. Now I know the truth.
Keep myself safe.
Leave a note.
Don’t trust Headmaster Russell.
Remember that I am loved.
So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m giving myself those directions now and forevermore.
Long, winding roads leading nowhere. Broken-down cars, ramshackle cabins, and the occasional shuttered store—we’ve driven all night through the abandoned unknown. I’m not asking any questions either. It’s like I’m back at Tabula Rasa during Discipline Hour, ready to parrot whatever is required.
Only on the inside, I’ve changed. Hopefully Lydia doesn’t know that.
“We’re almost there, Blanca.” Lydia pulls down the visor. The sun is coming up, shooting us right in the eyes with bright, golden light. “We’re almost at Plemora.”
“Yes, Ms. Lydia. We’re almost there.”
“You’re going to love it. Plemora’s so quiet and peaceful.”
“Yes, Ms. Lydia. I’m going to love it.”
“Barbelo’s curious about you. He was my purchaser, you know, if you haven’t already guessed that.”
“No, Ms. Lydia. I didn’t guess.” Barbelo was Lydia’s purchaser? Eight hours ago I thought he could solve everything. Now I’m not so sure.
“I don’t know what he’ll want you to call him. We’ll have to wait and see.” Lydia pulls the car to the side of the road, where there’s nothing but dirt stretching to the horizon. “Got to change into my whites,” she says, and she pops the trunk. She takes the keys with her when she climbs out of the car.
When she comes back a few minutes later, I realize there’s something sick inside me.
Seeing Lydia back in her Vestal whites makes me feel better. It calms me down.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“Are you ready to go home?” she asks.
And I do want to go home, but not to Nevada. “Yes, Ms. Lydia. Of course, Ms. Lydia. This is my dream come true,” I answer as Lydia drives us farther down the road. She smiles at me like this is the best vacation ever. Finally, the car stops.
“Excellent, darling. We’re here.” Lydia gets out of the car, but I stay put.
We’re parked in front of an enormous metal gate at least ten feet tall. It’s padlocked multiple times. Lydia takes out keys and deftly unlocks each chain. She pushes the gate inward so that our car can pass.
That’s how I enter the compound, peacefully, in the passenger seat.
All the while knowing it’s the most dangerous cloister of all.