Genetic Attraction (10 page)

You can keep your place if you want to, but we want you here. We"ll be discreet.

You"ll drive yourself, whatever it takes.”

By now the thrusting cock and massaging fingers were getting to her even more than the absurd, if sweet suggestion. She was whimpering and thrashing her head, chanting, “I can"t, I can"t, I can"t.” And then, of course, she decreased her credibility as she screamed and came, pushing hard against Roan"s fingers, the orgasm scattering her all over the room.

Both men hovered over her, kissing and petting. She didn"t think Jake had come, and she knew Roan hadn"t, but obviously they were focused on other goals.

Roan whispered in his most bedroom voice, “How can you live without this?”

She whimpered again. “Can"t I still have it sometimes?”

His voice dropped another octave. “Every night?”

“Oh, you guys.” She struggled to sit up, forcing them both back to sitting positions. “I wish I could tell you how much I love that you want me, that you would even think of such a thing. But you"ve got to see that it can"t work. My God, it would take Kovak about fifteen minutes to hear about it, and you and I would lose our jobs, Jake.”

Roan kissed her nose. “I can support all of us, darling. I"m disgustingly rich.”

She looked at him, trying to show him all the love she felt. “Thank you, dear, but no. My work is more to me than a job and money, and I can"t do it without the 72

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support of a big institution. Even if we left the university, any other research center will be nearly as bad. Three people just don"t have sexual relationships in our world and get away with it”—she grinned sadly—“except occasionally in Utah.”

“You"ve thought about this, haven"t you?” Jake looked even sadder.

“I"d be lying if I said no.” She didn"t tell him about her “third wheel” thoughts.

“I don"t think there"s a way in hell it will work for me.”

“Em, no.” He looked really distressed, and her heart wrenched. “Please don"t say that. We can make it work.”

“How, Jake? You know they"ll find out sooner or later.”

“Shit. Just think about it.”

She looked up into that beautiful and very unhappy face she loved so much, then at the clear green eyes of his lover—her lover. “I can"t imagine how I"ll think about much else.”

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Chapter Twelve

Monday morning was a bitch.

After she"d gotten home last night, her efforts to wear herself out at her desk so she"d be tired enough to sleep had been a dismal failure. All she could think of was the boys and what the three of them would be doing in their big bed if only she was there with them. A message on her home phone from Henry announced that he knew she"d gone to the Belden Awards without him and hoped she"d just had a grand time—only a little sarcasm there.

Their ride to Long Island from Connecticut had been dismal. Roan forced small talk, and Jake acted like she"d killed his puppy.

Worst of all, when she"d gotten to work this morning, Jake had looked up from his computer when she wandered into the lab with coffee but had given her a tight smile and gone back to his keyboard with no further acknowledgment. Damn, that certainly didn"t portend well for occasional hot weekends in Connecticut.

She stared at her computer and opened an e-mail from a man named Ehrlich asking about a meeting to discuss some kind of business issue. Yeah, she needed another harebrained scheme right now. Delete. Here she sat on the other side of a mountain of e-mails that she should have been answering on the weekend,
when she
was kidding herself in Connecticut
! The analysis was done too. But Jake? Just a dark cloud of anger. Damn him. She"d never seen him like this. He was balanced, capable, reasonable—not this petulant adolescent. She had to be flattered he cared so much, but he was completely overreacting.

She threw herself backward in the chair, and it banged against the wall, sending a jolt up her spine. Ouch. Propelled forward, she stalked from her office into 74

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the lab, where Superman was hanging out in his cone of silence. Who the hell was the boss here anyway?

“Jake, talk to me.” She got the blue eyes for a second, then he went back to the printouts he was reviewing.

“Jake, dammit.”
Okay, not alone here
. Heads turned. She seldom raised her voice and never at Jake.

She tried to sound modulated. “Jake, come out in the hall and talk to me…please.”

He took off his wire rims and stood up. Not saying a word, he walked to the door of the lab and out into the hall. God, it was so not like him to be petulant. She followed him and then took the lead to an empty lecture room a few doors down. She waved him in, then closed the door behind them. He stood with his back to her, arms crossed tightly.

“Jake, why are you treating me this way? I thought you understood what I said. It"s not that I don"t want to be with you and Roan…”

He turned on her, eyes flashing. “You never fail at anything, Em. If you wanted to be with us, you"d find a way.”

“I said I"d think about it, but I"ve hardly had time since last night.”

He paced away and then back to her. “Well, I
have
thought about it, and I realize that it"s not a question of your finding a way to be with us. As long as you feel about it as you do now, you"re always going to see it as impossible. Being with us just isn"t important enough to you.”

“Jake, that"s not fair.”

“Really? Not fair? I"ve waited for you so long with no hope, and then this weekend I got hope; you gave it to me.” He stepped up and put his hands on her arms, staring down into her eyes. “You were so wonderful, so loving and accepting, and exciting. I really thought you loved me…uh, us.”

“I do love you. You and Roan. You must know that.”

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“No, I don"t know that. Prove it. Move in this weekend.”

“Shit!” She couldn"t cope with this emotional Jake! She pulled her arms from his hands with a twist. “Don"t be melodramatic, and don"t give me ultimatums. I can"t change my whole life. We never even kissed before this weekend.”

“Yeah,” he growled. “And maybe that was better.” He turned, opened the door, and was gone.

Right, this Monday was a bitch.

She couldn"t bear to go back in the lab. Wow, that was a first. The lab was her home, her womb, but Jake was there. This was the first time she could remember not wanting to see him.

Some fresh air would be good. She wandered out the door of the building onto the campus. It was late afternoon, and the October weather had moved beyond crisp to cold. That was appropriate. Her lab coat blocked the air a little. Hands in pockets, she began to wander down the path between the trees.

Why was he being this way? When they"d separated yesterday she"d had no idea that his plea for her to come live with them was an ultimatum. Actually, he probably hadn"t known it either. But obviously her choosing her work over him and Roan was something he just couldn"t accept.

Jesus. She wiped at the moisture creeping out of her eyes. Her cool palms felt good against her burning eyeballs. It was so unfair. Damn the man! He loved her because of her devotion to her work, and now he was holding it against her. It didn"t take a geneticist to know
that
attitude came with a Y chromosome. Shit. Shit!

“Emmaline?”

What? Was she really standing in the middle of the campus with her face in her hands? She looked up. Howard Winton was standing there, looking at her quizzically. He smiled when she met his eyes, as if such eccentric behavior was totally to be expected.

“Hello, Howard.”

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“Working on a problem?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I"m so glad I ran into you.”

This was a bit suspicious, since the history department was on the other end of the campus, but who was she to object?

He smiled more broadly. “I"m giving a reception Thursday night at my house, to welcome Isaac and introduce him to the faculty. Would you please come?”

Isaac. Oh yes, another man. Not her favorite gender at the moment, but, what the hell, she didn"t want to disappoint Howard.

“Certainly, I"ll come. What time?”

“We"ll start at six. Come any time before eight.” He looked a little uncomfortable. “Feel free to bring Dr. Martin or, uh, your friend. You know, the handsome young man with the unusual name.”

“Thank you, Howard, but I doubt I"ll have a chance to invite them.”

“Oh really?” He looked pretty happy about that. “I see. Well, I know
Isaac
will be delighted to see you.”

Tears pushed at her eyes. Time to get out of here. “I"ll see you Thursday, then.

Thanks for the invitation.”

She headed back toward the lab. She"d been abrupt to Howard twice now, and he really was one of her favorite people. She"d try to make it up to him on Thursday.

It was dusk outside, which was the middle of the day for her.

When she got to the steps, she stopped. How in hell was she going to work with Jake if he maintained this attitude? She needed him. The research needed him. And she stood in danger of losing him thanks to her idiotic fantasies! Who did she think she was, her mother? Throwing caution to the wind was for other people. How could she have been this stupid? She wanted to sit down on the steps and cry. Okay, deep breath. She walked into the lab.

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77

He was gone. She asked Mary, her research assistant, and the girl told Em with amazement that Jake had left to go home. Em couldn"t remember the last time he"d left at five, much less a few minutes early. Tears flashed into her eyes again, and she turned toward the windows to try and get herself together. At least she could work all night with no interruption for emotional baggage.
Yeah, right.

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Chapter Thirteen

By Thursday night, she was a sleep-deprived wreck, having worked into oblivion every night. Jake was in the lab on time each morning and left by five each evening, although there was always a pile of documents on her desk the next morning that he had completed in his home office. Yeah, the home office down the hall from the bedroom he shared with Roan, where she would be right now if she wasn"t such an idiot.

Her anger had been chewed, spit out, and ground to dust. So how did she feel?

Lonely. Shit, she never felt lonely, but those were the facts. And that loneliness sprang from a big empty hole in her heart. God, she cared for them so much. She missed them desperately. But no matter how she turned the puzzle, she couldn"t make the three of them fit together. If it was just her and Jake, maybe. Hell, she was nonconformist enough to tell the faculty council to screw themselves if they didn"t like her being with her younger research associate. But two men who were gay lovers as well? She tried to picture herself defending that to Kovak. No way.

So, now she was walking up to the door of Howard Winton"s townhouse, even though she"d nearly turned back five times. Bright lights and a gaggle of cars parked at the curb announced that the party was here. Just call her party animal.

Yeah, right.

A short knock brought an instant response, and Howard was pulling her into the foyer of his townhouse crowded with people going and coming.

“My, you do look lovely, Emmaline.”

She knew if he looked closely that evaluation wouldn"t hold up. Dark circles and grayish skin weren"t going to make the cover of
Vogue
, but she had made an Genetic Attraction

79

effort with her pink silk skirt and sweater. “Thanks, Howard. Looks like your reception is a big success. I"m sure Isaac is seeing everyone he needs to know.”

“Well,
now
I"m seeing everyone I need to know.” Isaac stepped up beside his uncle, took her hand from the older man"s, and proceeded to plant a brief kiss on the back of it.

He was sweet. “Hello, Isaac.”

“Uncle, may I assume responsibility for our newest guest?” He tucked the recently kissed hand into the crook of his arm.

Howard beamed his approval. “And what a charming responsibility it is. By all means, my boy.”

Isaac led her into the living room where a bright fire was burning in the fireplace and all the academics were gathered on comfortable chairs and footstools, vying for who would educate whom.

“What can I get you to drink?”

“A glass of white wine is fine. I"m a little short on sleep, and I"m afraid anything stronger may knock me on my butt.”

He smiled. “Sounds promising.”

She gave him an exaggerated frown. He shouldn"t push his luck with her tonight.

Hands held up in surrender, he laughed. “Okay, white wine it is.” He took her arm from his and held her hand as he led her to the bar.

She glanced around the room while he poured her wine. A true academics"

paradise, books lined the walls and stood in piles beside some of the chairs. A wineglass appeared in front of her face as Isaac pressed against her back and wrapped an arm around her. She took it and moved away a little. Taking the hint, he stepped in front of her and clinked her glass with his. The twinkle in his big brown eyes made her smile back.

“Good evening, Dr. Silvay.”

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Oh shit, she so didn"t need this. She took a gulp of chardonnay and turned with her best smile. “Dr. Kovak. How are you this evening?” The patches on the elbows of his tweed jacket, the unlit pipe in the teeth—talk about your clichés.