Genevieve: Bride of Nevada (American Mail-Order Bride 36) (13 page)

But what about my hopes and dreams? Do I really want to live anywhere else? I can get work here just as easily as back in Lawrence and then maybe I’ll get to see the children occasionally
.

If I don’t pay fifty dollars for the train ticket to Lawrence, I’ll be able to stay in the hotel a lot longer. Long enough to find a job. And a place to live.

Genny made up her mind. She walked to the Hot Springs Hotel, and went straight to the registration desk.

“May I help you?” asked a sallow-skinned young man with brown wavy hair and glasses.

“I’d like a room, please.”

“That’ll be one dollar.” He pointed to the registration book. “Please sign here.”

Genny signed the book, reached into her reticule and pulled out a one dollar bill. “Here you go.” She handed the man the money.

“Would you know where I might find a job?” she asked the desk clerk.

The young man pointed to his right. “You might inquire right here in the hotel. They are looking for a waitress in the restaurant.”

Genny grinned. “Thank you. I will.”

Things were finally going her way.

She went to her room and unpacked her valise. She hung her dresses, skirts and blouses in the wardrobe and put her spare chemise and bloomers in the bureau. Water was in the pitcher on the commode and washcloths and towels in its top drawer.

Genny wet a washcloth and cleaned her face and hands. Checked her reflection in the mirror, patted some stray hairs back into place and left to go get that job.

She walked into the restaurant and was greeted by one of the waitresses.

“Would you like a table?” asked the pretty redhead. The woman was about Genny’s age, maybe a little older.

“No, thank you. I’d like to see the manager, please.”

“Sure,” said the girl. “I’ll be right back.

Genny stood at the edge of the dining room with her hands clasped in front of her.

The manager, a balding man, probably in his forties, wearing a black three-piece suit, walked through a swinging door at the back of the restaurant, followed by the waitress.

“Becky tells me you want to see me. I’m Mr. Marker. What can I do for you, young woman?”

“I’m here to apply for the waitress position you have open.”

He glanced her up and down. “What’s your name? Do you have any experience?”

“My name is Genny MacDonnell and I’ve been assisting in the preparation of food for twelve people on a ranch for the last two months.”

“And why did you leave that position?”

Genny shrugged. “It just didn’t work out as expected and the circumstances weren’t about to change, so here I am.”

“Sounds like you’ll do. Be back here for the dinner hour at five o’clock.”

“Yes, sir.” Relief coursed through her. Yes indeed. Things were starting to go her way. “Thank you, Mr. Marker.”

“You may not thank me later, so I’ll accept it now.”

Genny thought that was a very odd thing to say but let it go. She grinned and turned back toward the lobby.

When she got to her room she checked her hair and the clock on the bureau. She had about thirty minutes before she was to report to work. Pulling her black skirt and white blouse out of the closet, she quickly changed her clothes. Then she took down her hair, brushed the length until it shone and put the heavy mass up into a bun again so it was neater.

She was ready and according to the clock, it was time to go.

*****

Stuart’s breath came out in a fog. The weather was cold and getting colder. He walked back to the barn. After what could have been a great kiss he’d pulled back and pushed away Genny. Again. Wanting her was nearly killing him, but he was safer this way. The possible pain was too great. Being left with more children to raise without a mother…the idea was repellent, so he held himself back from her. But there was nothing more he wanted to do than to make love to his beautiful wife.

Seeing Genny, being near her, hearing her laugh, smelling her favorite rose scent. He loved every one of these things. He loved Genny so why was he unwilling to take the chance? She said she would not die birthing his babes. Said she was strong, much stronger than Martha. He remembered her words.

“Stuart, I’m not going to die. Give me…give us a chance to be a real family.”

But he couldn’t. He thought he’d loved Martha and losing her had nearly killed him. But he loved Genny so much more. He and Martha had grown to love each other but their love was a comfortable thing. With Genny the emotion was fire hot and he was afraid they’d both be burned.

An hour later, Stuart heard the supper bell and put the pitch fork against the wall with the other tools, rakes, and shovels. He rolled down his sleeves and put on his coat. The air might be cold outside but working in the barn was always hot work. Pitching hay, mucking stalls and grooming the animals all made him work up a sweat. He needed a bath, but the day wasn’t Saturday yet.

He walked into the kitchen.

Nettie bustled around the room, setting full dishes of food on the table.

Lucy and Billy were in their highchairs on either side of his chair as usual, but Genny’s chair was empty.

“Where’s Genny?”

Nettie didn’t look up. “She’s gone.”

“Gone.” He must not have heard correctly. “What do you mean she’s gone? Upstairs?”

Nettie looked at him, anger filled her voice.

“I mean she left. She said she couldn’t be a part of your farce of a marriage any longer.”

Stuart frowned. “She couldn’t have left. It’s dark now, she could be in trouble.” He stood and walked to the peg board to retrieve his coat.

Pete spoke. “Don’t bother. I put her on Beauty five hours ago and made sure she reached Elko. You’ll have to go after her tomorrow…if you’re going to.”

Stuart looked around the table. Everyone was there except Genny and every face showed disappointment. “This is not my fault.”

“Who’s fault would it be?” asked Joe. “Are you telling me that Genny is the one at fault here? Are you telling me that you told her you loved her and she left you anyway?”

“I never told her anything except that we’d—”

“Have no children,” Nettie finished for him. “Seems to me the only child in your relationship was you. Grow up, Stuart. Women dying in childbirth is a fact of life. There’s often no reason. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes the mother is simply not strong enough to survive the pain. The reason doesn’t matter. But to do what you did, also ensures there is no joy, no sorrow, no happiness as well as no pain. There is nothing. That life provides a hollow existence and she couldn’t live like that anymore.”

“That’s enough, Nettie.” Stuart’s anger rose and his voice quieted.

Nettie threw her napkin down on her plate. “You’re right. That’s more than enough.” She left the table and stomped off to her and Pete’s bedroom.

Every man at the table stared at Stuart.

“This is not my fault.”

Joe shook his head. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t lie to us. Every man at this table would make a better husband to Genny than you are. The trouble is, she fell in love with you.”

What am I hearing?
Stuart stared at his brother. “Fell in love with me?”

“You are an imbecile, big brother. Genny has loved you for weeks, maybe since you first married. She opened her heart to us, all of us, and only got arrows through hers in return.”

Was he really that bad? He thought he’d treated Genny well. He was polite and kind, but he had made sure she didn’t get close.

He wanted to leave the table, but with Nettie gone, he needed to feed his children and put them to bed. No rest to be had for the wicked.

*****

Genny’s first night as a waitress was a success. Feeding all those people at the ranch had been good experience after all. The second night was going just as well when there was a small hiccup. Half way through her shift, Becky told her that the gentleman at one of Becky’s tables asked for Genny by name.

Heart pounding, Genny walked over. The man had his back to her so she couldn’t see who it was but her stomach fell to her toes and she was sure it was Stuart.

Genny’s heart pounded in her chest. “May I help you?”

The man at the table turned to face her.

She let out the breath she’d been holding. “Joe. What are you doing here?” Her heart slowed and she caught her breath.

“I came to ask you to come back home.”

She smoothed her skirt and then pulled out her order pad. “The ranch is not my home, Stuart made sure of that. I just worked there for a while like any other ranch hand. Now I work here. What would you like to eat?”

“Genny. Give him another chance. He misses you.”

She stiffened her spine and jerked her chin upwards. “If that’s true, why isn’t Stuart here? Why isn’t he asking me to come back? I’ll tell you why, because he knows only one thing will get me to come back and he’s not willing. I want a real marriage, with all the pain and joy and trials and laughter.” She squeezed the pad in her hand nearly folding it in half. “I want it all, Joe. Not just the work.”

“Genny, he’s so confused right now. Give him another chance.”

“No. When he’s ready for me to come back home, if he ever is, he’ll come. Until then, I’m staying here. Now are you having dinner or not? I want to keep this job, so please order.”

“Fine. Bring me the steak, rare, with mashed potatoes. We’re not done here, Genny.”

“Yes, we are Joe. Stuart knows what needs to be done.”

She walked back to the kitchen and put in Joe’s order. In a few minutes his food was prepared and Genny carried it to him. He still had his back to her.

“Here you go, Joe.”

She leaned forward to set the plate on the table and saw…Stuart. The plate clattered to the table.

She turned back toward the kitchen. “Enjoy your supper.”

Stuart grabbed her wrist.

“Genny, please come home. The children miss you.”

Pulling free, she gave a short laugh. “The children will get over it.”

“I miss you.”

He said the words so quietly, she almost didn’t hear him.

“You what?” she answered just as quietly.

“I miss you. I want you to come home.”

His voice soft, so other diners couldn’t hear.

“You know I can’t,” Genny whispered. “I won’t go back to that travesty of a marriage. I want a real marriage with all the joys
and heartaches
that go with it.”

Stuart looked away.

She gave a huff. “There you have it. You’re not willing to give yourself to me, nor are you ready to take me for myself. I want to be more than your friend. I want to be your wife. Goodbye, Stuart.”

Genny walked back to the kitchen before she let the tears fall. She would not cry for that man. He made his decision and she wasn’t a part of his life, so he could damn well live his life alone, just as she would. She had no plans to remarry. Ever.

She wiped her eyes and went back to work. Her next order was ready and she picked up the plates and walked out to the dining room to deliver them. She glanced over at the table where Stuart was but the table was empty.

So be it.

Genny finished her shift that night and she dragged herself back to her room. The thought of her lonely bed wasn’t inviting. She missed Stuart.

Combining her tips and salary she was earning as much as she did at the factory for a fifteen-hour day. But here she only worked nine hours, through the midday dinner and supper hours. Most of the time there was little to do—clean the tables, sort the utensils, sit around until someone came in.

But from the hours of eleven o’clock to one o’clock and again from four o’clock to eight o’clock the restaurant’s ten tables were packed and there were always people in line waiting to be seated. Their clientele included the townsfolk, but most of their customers were miners in just after or just before their shifts.

Her room was lovely. The bed had simple wood head and foot boards. Around the room stood a bureau, commode and night stand, none of which matched but were all made from a light colored wood. There was a chair by the window that she’d spent too much time looking out, hoping to see Stuart coming for her. None of the furniture was fancy, but she didn’t mind.

She pulled out the letter from Katie she’d picked up that day.

December 15, 1890

Dear Genny and Julia,

So much has happened since my last letter. I would tell you about the events, but then you would worry about me, so I’m just going to tell you that our home is now happy and filled with love. Even Mother O’Malley has changed and we are good friends now. Sometimes there are reasons why people are so angry and I learned that she had every reason to be unhappy. But that is all in the past, and Daniel and I are so blessed.

I’m expecting our first child sometime in late August. We’re both so excited and his mother’s busy knitting blankets for the little one. I’m thrilled to be starting our family and can’t wait to see our child. Of course, I worry with the death of my family that my child could become an orphan, but I try not to let those thoughts intrude. And even if it happens, I know my mother and father’s presence is what guided me. If the worst happens, I will guide this child as well.