Gertie's Leap to Greatness (3 page)

The frog was lifted high, and everyone turned their faces up to see him—his long legs scrabbling against Gertie's arms, his green-brown skin gleaming in the sunlight that streamed through the window.

“Gosh he's big,” Ewan said, and Ms. Simms was so stunned by the mega awesomeness of Zombie Frog that she forgot to tell Ewan not to interrupt.

“One day,” said Gertie, “when I have a real laboratory, I'll be bringing people back to life just like I was Dr. Frankenstein.”

“He was exactly
how
dead?” asked Ewan.

It was all in the telling. “
Utterly
dead. As a doornail.”

Roy crossed his arms. “
How'd
you bring him back?”

“Turkey baster.”

Roy frowned at the ceiling, thinking. Then he nodded.

“Can we see him?” asked Leo.

Gertie carried the frog around so that everyone could look straight into his resurrected eyeballs. When her classmates had appreciated him, she put Zombie Frog back in his box and snapped the rubber band around it.

“Thank you, Gertie,” said Ms. Simms, and she wasn't giving anything away, but Gertie knew she had to be pleased.

Phase One was going to be an instant success.

After Gertie, Ella Jenkins talked about going to her grandmother's house, which wasn't nearly as good as a zombie frog.

And Junior's speech was painful to watch. “Ummm,” he said. “Well.” He chewed on his thumbnail and stared at his shoes for so long that the class started laughing again, which made his shoulders hunch.

“Did you go on vacation?” Ms. Simms asked.

Junior looked up. “Like the beach or wilderness camping?”

“Exactly!” Ms. Simms smiled.

“No,” said Junior, shaking his head. “No, I didn't do anything like that.”

Roy blew a raspberry against the back of his hand, and Junior's neck turned pink.

“I spent the summer at my mom's salon,” he said. He looked at Ms. Simms and pressed his lips together so tightly it was clear she'd need a crowbar to get another word out of him.

“Right. Thank you for sharing.” Ms. Simms checked her list. “Mary Sue Spivey, will you take over from Junior?”

The seat-stealer stood and turned to face the class.

“I'm Mary Sue,” she said. “I didn't know we were going to have to say anything. We don't do this at my school in California.”

“You're from California?” asked Leo.

“Los Angeles,” said Mary Sue. “My father's a film director. We only moved here because he's shooting a new Jessica Walsh movie nearby.”

“Hold the mayo,” said Roy. He banged his cast against his desk. “You know
Jessica Walsh
?”

Everyone stared, breathless, at Mary Sue. Jessica Walsh had her own television show and her own collection of sticker earrings and her own cotton-candy-scented shampoo.

Mary Sue looked at them all, sitting on the edges of their seats. “Of course,” she said, lifting one shoulder. “My father is Martin Lorimer Spivey. He's directed lots of Jessica Walsh's films. He's filming in Alabama, so he brought me along.” She pulled a phone from her pocket and started thumbing the buttons. “I think I have a picture with her.”

Ms. Simms didn't mention that phones were against the rules. Instead, she went to look over Mary Sue's shoulder. “Oh my goodness, it's really her,” she said.

Mary Sue passed around her phone.

Gertie looked at the picture of Mary Sue Spivey standing beside the most famous twelve-year-old movie star in the country before she handed the phone to Jean.

“I'm sure you'll have a lot of stories to share with us,” said Ms. Simms. “We'll have to talk more later.”

Mary Sue's speech had been interesting, but it wasn't because
she
was that interesting, thought Gertie. It was because Jessica Walsh was. But everyone was whispering and craning their necks to get a better look at the new girl, like
she
was the famous one.

“Thank you, everyone,” said Ms. Simms when they'd finished. “I feel like I know all of you a little better. Mary Sue, you're new here, so you should know that we keep phones off and put away during class, please.”

Gertie's heart lifted.

“And, Gertie,” Ms. Simms said, “I think it would be best to release that impressive frog during recess, don't you?”

“What?” Gertie grabbed the corners of the box. “Can't I take him home and put him back in his culvert?”

“I'm sure he'll be just as happy here.” Ms. Simms frowned at Roy as she said, “I'm sure he needs plenty of fresh air.”

*   *   *

At recess, Gertie, Junior, and Jean carried Zombie Frog toward the back of the playground.

“What if he can't find his way back home?” Gertie said. “Do you know how horrible that would be? Lost. Cars almost running over you.
Squish.
”

Junior shuddered.

Gertie trudged on, stopping where the trees grew right up against the sagging fence that marked the edge of the school property. She knelt and set the frog on the ground.

“He
is
an impressive frog.” Junior scuffed his shoe against the leaves. “That's what Ms. Simms said.
Impressive.
”

Gertie hoped Ms. Simms had meant it. But if Ms. Simms had loved Zombie Frog, she wouldn't have wanted Gertie to get rid of him, would she? She would have wanted him to become their class mascot or pet or something. Gertie had thought Phase One was in the bag, but now she wasn't sure. Had Mary Sue's speech been better? Gertie had to be absolutely certain that she was the
very
best before she carried out Phase Two.

“It's ridiculous.” Jean leaned against the fence. “Everyone likes her just because she's new.” She didn't say which
her
she was talking about. “And rich. And kind of famous.”

Zombie Frog eyed Junior's twitchy foot until Gertie nudged him, and when he hopped into the woods, he
did
hop with impressive leaps. Gertie watched him until he disappeared. She hoped he was impressive enough to hop himself far away to a better place.

On the other side of the playground, a small crowd had gathered around the new girl with yellow hair. It was possible, thought Gertie, that Mary Sue Spivey was something even worse than a seat-stealer.

 

4

What's a Mary Sue Spivey?

When Gertie got home, she slammed the screen door so that Aunt Rae would know she was back and would come and greet her. She waited. All alone. In the empty kitchen. She drooped her shoulders and hung her head so that her ponytail flopped over her face, and she was sure that she must have been the saddest little sight anybody ever saw.

Only nobody did see it, because nobody came to greet her.

Normally, somebody—her father when he was home or Aunt Rae or
somebody
—came to the door to tell her to wash the playground out from under her fingernails or to ask her what important things she'd done at school. But today, when she was about to have a nervous breakdown because an evil seat-stealer was trying to ruin her entire life, nobody cared.

If Aunt Rae had really loved her, she would have been able to sense that Gertie was unhappy, like how dogs could smell fear and earthquakes and alien invasions, and she would've run to the kitchen, hollering, “Gertie, baby, what's
wrong
?”

Gertie added Aunt Rae's unlovingness to the long list of everything that had gone wrong that day. She sighed and dragged her bag through the kitchen.

When Gertie stepped into the living room, Audrey Williams was upside down on the sofa. Her feet stuck up over the back, and her head hung down over the edge of the seat cushions.

Aunt Rae and Gertie kept Audrey during the hours between when kindergarten ended and her parents finished work. Audrey was obsessed with a television program called
The Waltons
, which was about this big family that wore old-fashioned clothes and talked about how much they loved each other. Gertie thought it was the most boring show in the world.

“You're not supposed to watch TV,” Gertie said, because it was true that Audrey wasn't supposed to watch television. Also, being responsible and bossy made Gertie feel grown-up.

Audrey's eyes reflected the images on the screen. She didn't make a move to turn the television off.

Sighing, Gertie reached for the remote, but Audrey snatched it away and rolled off the sofa. Gertie grabbed for her, and she dodged. Gertie lunged, and Audrey dived. She hopped on the coffee table and flittered back to the sofa.

When Audrey was once again watching television upside down with the remote resting on her stomach, Gertie asked, panting, “Where's Aunt Rae?”

Audrey pointed one foot toward the laundry room, and Gertie stomped over to the door.

“Oh my Lord! How can you be doing laundry at a time like this?”

Aunt Rae looked up from the shirt she was ironing. “Hey, Gertie, I didn't hear you come in.”

“I don't know how you didn't,” said Gertie. “I slammed the door as hard as I could.”

“Really? Maybe I should check my hearing aid.” She acted like she wasn't upset at all about Gertie's feelings or her own unlovingness.

She handed Gertie the shirt, hot off the ironing board. Gertie sighed and folded the shirt in half.

Aunt Rae swayed back and forth with the movement of the iron.

Gertie folded the shirt in half again and then again. She sighed one more time.

Aunt Rae kept ironing.

“Don't you hear me sighing?”

Aunt Rae looked surprised. “I thought you were just breathing extra loud today. Did something happen at school?”

Gertie gave up folding the shirt in halves and rolled it into a tidy log. “We did the summer speeches.”

“What'd they think of your frog?” Aunt Rae asked. “Bet they never saw a resurrected frog before, huh?”

“Someone else did better,” Gertie said.

“How'd they do better?” Aunt Rae yanked the iron cord out of the wall.

“It was just more … impressive,” Gertie said. “I've got to be the most impressive person in my class.”

“I already think you're very impressive.” Aunt Rae took the shirt out of Gertie's hands, refolded it, and stacked all the laundry in a basket.

Gertie tried to let Aunt Rae's words make her feel better. But it wasn't enough for
Aunt Rae
to think she was impressive. She needed to prove it to Rachel Collins, too. “What can I do to be a better person?”

“You could play with Audrey. She's got a bad case of the mopes lately.”

Gertie groaned. “Aunt Rae, I can't play with Audrey. She needs to play with her own kind.” She had explained over and over to Aunt Rae that the only thing five-year-olds and ten-year-olds had in common was that they both had eyebrows. “Besides, I need to be more … more … more like…” Gertie threw her arms out and wiggled her fingers, trying to make Aunt Rae understand.

Aunt Rae stared at her.

“I need to be better than Mary Sue Spivey,” Gertie blurted.

“What's a Mary Sue Spivey?”

“A no-good, seat-stealing new girl,” Gertie answered at once.

“I bet she's not all that bad.” Aunt Rae was determined to be unhelpful today.

“Jean doesn't like her either,” Gertie said.

“Well, Jean's not exactly a little ray of sunshine herself.” Aunt Rae carried her basket away.

Gertie didn't care whether or not Jean was a little ray of sunshine. She wouldn't want to be friends with a little ray of sunshine anyway. But she tried to think of something to say that would prove to Aunt Rae what a kind person Jean was. She thought and thought and thought. “Anyway—”

“Why do you want to be better than Mary Lou Spivey?” Aunt Rae used her bottom to bump Gertie's door open.

“Mary
Sue
Spivey.”

“Well.” Aunt Rae dropped a pile of laundry on the bed. “Why do you want to be better than her?”

Gertie knew that her aunt wouldn't like this mission, because she didn't like anything that had to do with Rachel Collins. Whenever Gertie or her father even mentioned Rachel Collins, Aunt Rae's nostrils would flare, and she'd heave herself off the sofa with a
humph
and start cleaning the house so violently that Gertie felt sorry for the dirt and grime. Gertie decided it wasn't a good idea to tell Aunt Rae about her mission.

“I just want Ms. Simms to like me,” she said instead. “I don't think she likes me at all.”

Gertie followed her aunt into the living room. Aunt Rae reached over the back of the sofa and tickled the bottom of Audrey's foot, which made her shriek and flail, which gave Aunt Rae a chance to steal the remote. She turned the TV off.

“I'm sure your teacher likes all her students equally,” Aunt Rae said.

“I don't want her to like us all equally,” Gertie said. “I want her to like me most.”

“Okay,” Aunt Rae said. “I'm sure that she likes all of you just the same. Especially you.”

But Aunt Rae was wrong.

 

5

Nope

Gertie researched how long it took people to shoot movies, and it was ages. Mr. Famous Film Director Spivey would be here for a few more
months
.

So she and Jean got to work, brainstorming ideas for how to keep Mary Sue from utterly ruining Gertie's mission. Because Phase One had failed, the second phase had to be postponed, which was frustrating because Gertie couldn't stand waiting. Now Gertie's blue notebook had an entire page of ideas, titled “The New Phase Two.” She had to find a way to end Mary Sue's awful reign as the lip-glossed queen of Room 5B so that she could move on to Phase Three, becoming the greatest kid in the world. And finally Phase Four, returning the locket.