Get It Girls (15 page)

The boys had little doubt that she was serious. Jessica looked each and every one of them in their eyes to show she meant just that. She grabbed her brother by the arm and brushed past the man and into the building.

Walking up the stairs Jordan was shaking like a leaf and started explaining to his older sister. “Jessica, I, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to threaten them like that. They carry guns and . . .”

Jessica stopped and turned to her brother and threw him up against the wall. “Jordan, they are the last motherfuckers you need to be worrying about! You need to be worrying about me kicking your fucking ass for doing what you did to Mama!”

With a nervous twitch he stared into his sister’s eyes and lowered his head in shame. Jessica towered over her weakly and frail brother, who looked as if he hadn’t eaten in month. Jessica released him and grabbed him by his collar up the remaining flights of stairs and into the apartment. She pushed him into the living room.

“Sit down, Jordan.”

He looked around the bare apartment and asked in a low tone, “Is Mama home?”

“No, she is not home yet.”

He looked around, still nervous and admitted, “You, know she don’t want me here, right? You know she put me out?”

“Why she don’t want you here, Jordan?” Jessica hissed. “Tell me why she put you out?”

Still finding it hard to control her anger, she stopped pacing and stood in front of him and yelled, “Because you robbed her fucking blind, Jordan, just to smoke that shit! You stole her televisions, radios, and food.”

She looked down upon him with disgust and said, “You even went in her room and stole money from out of her bra, Jordan. Her bra?”

Jordan sat motionless and ashamed of what he had done.

“Jordan, Mama is afraid to have you around because she thinks you may hurt her. She thinks that her own son, the one who supposed to protect her, the one she raised, will one day kill her if she doesn’t give you money.”

Jordan looked away as his eyes became watery and reality of it all began to set in.

Jessica walked over to him and got on one knee. “Jordan, I’m telling you right now that I will not let that happen. Before I let you hurt Mama or see you hurt yourself like you doing, I’d rather see you dead. And Jordan,” Jessica lifted his chin so he could see directly into her eyes, “believe me when I tell you, I will do it.”

They stared into each other eyes a few seconds longer until Jordan began to break down. “I can’t take this shit anymore, Jessica, I can’t take it!” he cried. “This crack shit got me fucked up and I don’t know how to stop. I, I tried to stop but this shit keeps calling me back. I don’t know how to stop, Jessica. I need your help, Jessica, I need your help!”

Suddenly, Jessica saw the little brother of old in him and she began to break down too. She got up and sat next to him and hugged him for dear life as they cried together like it would be their last.

“I’m going to help you, but you got to be willing to help yourself.” Jessica pulled away from him. “Look at me, Jordan.”

He wiped his eyes and lifted his head.

Jessica grasped her brother’s hand. “You got to go away into one of those programs. That’s the only way I’m willing to help you. You hear me?”

Jordan thought about it for a moment then nodded his head.

Jessica smiled and said, relieved, “Ok, all we got to do now is make a few phone calls.”

Jessica stood up and went to the phone and opened up the yellow pages. She made about twelve phone calls before she finally found the right one. After they spoke for over twenty minutes and finalized everything, she hung up. She looked at Jordan and smiled.

“Well, it’s done. They got a bed waiting for you in the morning where you go into detox first for about ten days. Then after that you fly to Minnesota into this thing called a Therapeutic Community which lasts for eighteen to twenty-four months.”

“Minnesota, Jessica? Twenty-four months?” yelled Jordan.

“What else do you got to do, Jordan? You need to get out of Harlem anyway. These people are going to save your life. You said yourself that you need help because you don’t know how to stop on your own. So either that or die on those streets.” Jessica waited for a response from her little brother.

He thought about it for a long while and finally answered, “All right, I’ll go.”

Jessica smiled.

“Where am I gonna stay till the morning, because Mama ain’t gonna want me here.”

“Don’t worry about Mama. I’m going to take care of that.” Jessica frowned and said, “In the meantime, I want you to get in the bathroom and take a bath. You stink.”

Jordan looked at the clothing he wore laughed. “You right, I haven’t changed in weeks.”

Jessica stood up and said, “You still got clean underwear and clothes in your room. I’ll get you some.”

As she was walking away Jordan called out, “Jessica.”

She turned.

He continued softly, “I missed you, and I’m glad you home.”

Jessica smiled and nodded. “Thanks. I missed you too.”

When Mrs. Jones got home Jordan was at the kitchen table eating the dinner that Jessica had prepared for the family. Jessica met her at the door as soon as she heard her key enter the lock.

“Hey Mama,” said Jessica as she opened the door for her to pass. “Let me help you with your bags.” Jessica took them out of her hands.

Her mother frowned when she entered the living room and asked, “What is that smell? It smells funky in here.” She walked into the kitchen and paused when she saw her son at the dinner table and turned toward Jessica. “I want him out of this house right now, Jessica.”

Jessica put her hands up and pleaded with her mother. “Ma, just listen to me for a second.”

“No, I don’t want to hear it. I want him out.”

Jordan tossed the napkin into his plate and stood up from the table to leave, but Jessica stopped him.

“Jordan, wait a minute!” Jessica screamed. She turned her attention back to her mother and said, “Mama, you said yourself that Jordan needs some help.”

“You don’t—” Her mother tried to finish, but Jessica cut her off.

“I am taking him to a detox program in the morning and he needs to stay here so he can at least have a chance to get there in the morning.”

Her mother’s face showed reservations, and she said with apprehension, “Jessica, do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” She looked at her son and screamed, “He’s a liar and a thief and you can’t trust him!”

Jessica approached her and said softly, “Mama, I just don’t want to see my only brother die on those streets without at least giving him a chance to recover.”

There was a long pause. Mrs. Jones looked into her daughter’s pleading eyes and said in a steady low tone, “Jessica, I gave your brother all the chances in the world and all he did was disappoint me.” Mrs. Jones looked at her son with sullen eyes and continued. “I just feel sorry for you when you see for yourself how much of a liar he really is, and when he breaks your heart I pray to God that he doesn’t turn you cold like he did me.” She walked around Jessica and toward her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

Jessica looked at her brother, who had his head down shamefully.

“I’m sorry for turning her that way, Jessica. I really am. I didn’t mean to.”

She walked over to her brother, hugged him, and said, “I know, but, Jordan,” she pulled away from him, “you got to do it this time or she’s never going forgive you again. You hear me? You got to come through this time.”

He exhaled deeply and agreed by nodding.

Jessica then asked him the question that was nagging her for days. “I want to ask you something.”

He shrugged his frail shoulders. “Go ahead.”

“How did you start getting high on that shit in the first place?”

He turned his head and spoke as if he’d told the story a million times. “After I lost you and Daddy, I had nobody. Then when we lost the house and moved to this block I was getting into fights from the day I got here. Nobody liked me because I was different. They began to pick on me and call me a retard because I rode the yellow bus. Then after being by myself for a few years, I met this dude. He let me hang out with him and his friends, partly because I always had some money, and we use to chip in to buy some weed and some wine and that was the first time I ever drank or did drugs.

“I felt accepted for the first time in my life. I didn’t even like it, but I did it just so I could fit in.” Jordan paused as he remembered the moment. “Then one night they was with these other dudes from the neighborhood, they was real fly and popular and they asked for money to put in for some smoke, but this time they asked for ten dollars. I thought that was way too much, but I put it in anyway because I just wanted to be accepted. When the dude came back he pulled out some the weed, some cigars, and these little bottles that I never saw before. I watched them cut the cigar open and fill it with the weed and another dude emptied the bottle and put these little white pebbles in a dollar bill and crushed it up then sprinkled it all over the weed then rolled it up all together. We stood in a circle and they lit it up and began smoking it and passing it around. I looked at each boy’s face as they did it and saw their eyes light up like they went to the moon or something.”

He looked at his sister. “They call that getting beamed up. Then they passed it to me and I took a pull for the first time.” He closed his eyes as he thought back and smiled.

Jessica was confused.

He opened his eyes and explained, “As soon as I smoked it, sis, I felt powerful, I felt invincible. It took me outside my loneliness and had no more worries at all. For the first time in my life I felt like everyone else instead of the retard that I am.”

Jessica melted as she looked at the sincerity in her brother’s eyes and she knew he was serious. She again looked him in the eyes and placed both hands on his cheeks. “You are not a retard; you just learn things slower than others, and you don’t need any drugs to make you fit in. You hear me, Jordan?”

He nodded.

They sat up the rest of the night and caught up on old times when the subject of their father came up. “You know, Jessica,” Jordan said, “when you went away, Daddy was messed up over it real bad.”

Jessica put her head down as she listened.

“It was like when you went away a piece of him just died. He retired early because he got real sick and just hung around the house. Then he just stayed in the bed and wouldn’t eat or nothing. And that’s when he had his first stroke.” He shook his head, trying to fight back the tears. “When he finally was let go out of the hospital he was real small, half his size, and no longer able talk in full sentences. He would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night calling out your name over and over.”

He looked up at Jessica with tears falling from his eyes. “And not long after that, he just gave up and died.”

Jessica was devastated because this was the first time she’d heard any of this.

Jessica stood up quickly and changed the subject to prevent her from shedding tears and said, “We got a big day tomorrow, so you better get some sleep so we can get downtown early. You sleep in here, and I’ll sleep in the living room, ok?” She smiled and exited the room and said before she left. “Jordan, I’m proud of you.”

He smiled back and said, “Thanks, sis.”

Jessica approached her little brother and hugged him affectionately. She pulled away and stared into his eyes and said seriously, “Jordan, I love you with all my heart and I know you love me, but before I let you live and suffer another day in hell on your knees from these drugs, I’d rather kill you myself so our mother can live in peace.” Jessica never blinked her eye. “You understand, Jordan?”

He looked in her face to see if she was joking. He realized she wasn’t and simply nodded.

She rubbed the back of his head and said, “Good. I’ll see you in the morning.” Jessica closed the door.

It was about 4 o’clock in the morning when she was startled and saw someone standing over her as she slept. Jessica adjusted her eyes and rubbed them and saw that it was her mother looking down upon her.

“Mama?” asked Jessica. “What’s wrong?”

Grim-faced, her mother answered, “Are these your pants, Jessica?”

Jessica adjusted her eyes again and looked at the jeans in her hand and nodded.

“Well, I found them at the front door.”

Jessica was confused for a moment when suddenly she jumped up off the sofa and ran down the hall to Jordan’s room. She swung the door open and switched on the lights and looked at the bed. He was gone.

Jessica ran back to the living room and snatched the jeans from her mother’s hand and quickly checked the pockets. She checked all four pockets before realizing that Jordan had in fact stolen every dime of the money Vonda had given her. Jessica looked at her mother, who simply shook her head knowingly and walked back to her bedroom and closed the door.

B
efore Jessica exited her building that day she was fuming because she felt used by her brother. One part of her wanted to ball up and cry, and the other part of her wanted lash out and hurt somebody, and that was the reason she walked downstairs with a baseball bat sure that she would be able to release some frustration. Before she even made it downstairs to the front of the building she accosted a male and female smoking crack in the stairwell. They barely paid her any mind until she lifted the bat and banged it against the railing.

“Get the fuck out of this building right now!” yelled Jessica. She watched the two scramble down the stairs as if their lives depended on it. Jessica continued down the stairs and threatened everyone she crossed paths with until finally the dealers ran inside the building to see why everyone was running out.

The dealer, a young boy no older than nineteen, looked up at Jessica coming down the stairs palming the baseball bat in her hand and yelled, “Bitch, what the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?”

Jessica was not fazed by his slurs and walked right up to him and swung the bat without even hesitating. The bat hit the boy in his shoulder and he backed out of the building screaming more obscenities at her. The remaining boys were caught off guard as they watched their homeboy cry out in pain.