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Authors: Daniel Birch

Get Some (16 page)

BOOK: Get Some
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I had spoken to Joey earlier on that day. I wanted some good ideas. We had come up with quite a few, but most of the ideas we conjured up between us were ideas that we as men would find hilarious, which was no good really because it had to be special for her.

Now Joey’s best idea I thought was using a donut. He said I could stash the ring in a donut, wait until she knew it was in there, and pop the question. I thought it was funny but the thought of Emma choking to death scared me, so the donut option was out. Joey also thought that a re-enactment of the end scene of pretty woman would be good but I didn’t want Emma thinking I saw her as a prostitute. Besides, if anyone was saving anyone, she was saving me.

We came up with some right crackers, but I had a plan I thought she would like, and I was going to go with it.

I had the ring, I had the setting, and I made some calls.

Impressing a woman is easy, if you put the time in. For my proposal with Emma, I was going all the way, I wanted her to laugh like crazy, but also I wanted her to know in her heart I wanted to be with her as long as I was breathing.

If I couldn’t have her, I didn’t want anybody.

I took a taxi to where I needed to be. I didn’t drive a car so me getting anywhere was always dependant on lifts off folk or a taxi. The fucking public transport was a joke and I had stopped taking the bus because of the arseholes who get on it. I’m not saying I’m too good for public transport, not at all, it’s just the social menaces such as the scallys and chavs just grate on me. The last time I took a bus was the time I was on leave and ended up fighting with a bunch of them. I had asked this young 18 year old lad to turn the music down on his phone.

He had gangster rap blasting out with ‘fuck your bitch’ this and ‘you motherfucker’ that. The thing is there were people with kids on the bus.

Whatever happened to headphones I wondered?

Yeah, so anyways, I asked, he refused, I grabbed the phone and threw it out of the window. Three of them came at me, but they were little bitches who couldn’t fight for shit so I gave the three of them a few whacks and got off the bus before the driver called the police. People actually clapped me as I walked off.

So arriving at my destination I walked into the popular Connelly’s Club and met the owner, Mr Jack Swayby. I had known Jack years back and I had put in some time with him when he was getting his club kitted out. I managed to get him a cheap stage for his acts to use, so Jack owed me a favour. Jack was great. He agreed to what I wanted.

I went into the staff room as Jack introduced me to the chef and a few of the waiters. I talked with them and slipped them a 20 each. I then headed back home to chill out and relax for the day before the big night.

Once I got home I decided to contact Lorraine. Lorraine was married to Dave and I know she had had the funeral for Dave already but I just needed to talk to her. If Spade had any family I would have done the same for him too, but he was a man on his own in the world. Such a shame really because he was a top bloke, they both were.

I spoke to Lorraine for about two hours over the phone, I would have visited her personally but she had moved to Ireland after Dave’s death. She wanted to know everything. I pleaded with her, I begged her not to ask me, but she was adamant. She wanted to know what his last moments were like.

So I told her, I told her the truth, sort of. I said that we were having a right good laugh up until the OP went FUBAR, I told her what the military couldn’t tell her. I told her about the Black OP and how it went down, but I left out the bits about me and Trigg. She didn’t need to know. She wanted info on Dave and I gave it to her.

What I meant by the term ‘sort of’ was I told the absolute truth, all apart from a few bits.

Nobody can call me for trying to make it easier on Lorraine. I told her Dave didn’t suffer because he had been subjected to a chemical agent which had blown up near the place in which he was killed. I told Lorraine Dave had been subject to an obscene amount of sodium thiopental which is actually an anaesthetic. It is such a powerful anaesthetic that it is the first of the three shots given to people who get the lethal injection, along with the death doses of potassium chloride and pancuronium bromide. I had copied a story Dave had told someone else’s wife. He used to read about chemicals and science type stuff and it sounded believable, so I used it.

I told her when Dave was shot, he told me to tell her he loved her, and would always love her. She cried over the phone but also said she was so happy he didn’t suffer.

Telling lies have never been a strong point of mine, but in a way I was telling her the truth because I had seen the letters he used to write before every mission. He did some that day but they were never found.

I knew what he would have said, that’s why I told Lorraine what I did. It’s what Dave would have wanted.

I felt better having spoken to Lorraine, it was one of them things you know you have to do but you put it off because of the awkwardness, but it was done now. During our marathon conversation I told her I was popping the question to Emma that night. She laughed when I told her my plans and wished me all the best.

Chapter Thirty


Just keep walking gents,’ I said as Malcolm and Pete pleaded with me to call the police.

We kept walking calmly. Malcolm asked me who the men were, but I had no idea. Pete seemed the most scared and kept saying ‘What if they try and rob us’ to which I replied ‘Rob us for what? I don’t have my cards on me, just cold hard cash tonight, and that’s gone too.’

We turned and the men had gone. Pete was relieved to say the least and Malcolm seemed to lighten up too. ‘Told you, boys, just drunks lost or something.’


Whatever, Malcolm, they looked bloody scary individuals to me and Joey said he had seen them near the club. They could have been following us, you know.’


Bollocks.’

I stopped them mid-argument. A car was coming towards us rather fast. ‘Lads.’

Both Malcolm and Pete kept yapping until I had to shout to get their attention.


Lads!’

By the time Pete and Malcolm heard me, the car had stopped a few feet from us. It all happened so fast then. Four men in balaclavas jumped out and one in particular aimed a gun at me. Pete and Malcolm were proper panicking as the other three men threw both Pete and Malcolm to the floor. There was a lot of shouting as the man who had the gun on me pressed it hard into my temple.

Make no mistake, I was scared.

Looking around and trying quickly to assess the shit as it was going down, I knew that two of the guys were the guys who had followed us. I could tell by the white shirt of the one and the bouncer-like look of the other. They must have been picked up and come around for us in the car.

But who were they? What had I done? Or what had we done?

My only guess, as I stood there defenceless, was that I must have pissed an old client off, either that or it was just a random thing. I was never a big believer in random, though, due to my line of work perhaps.

The man with the gun on my head spoke amidst the shouting. I knew his voice wasn’t local. He kind of had a Manchester-type twist to his lingo.


Right, everyone, shut the fuck up. You too, lads. We’re here on a job, yeah?’

The other three lads standing over Pete and Malcolm all nodded and said yes to the guy with the gun on me, so it was safe to say he was the big cheese.

What got me is he said ‘Job’. A job? What the hell?

It was then I knew this couldn’t be random… fuck.


Get them up,’ the man said, referring to Pete and Malcolm. Getting up sheepishly, Pete and Malcolm both did as they were told.

The guy with the gun took the gun off me. I have to say I got my heartbeat back then because I thought I was in trouble, big trouble. He looked at me in the face, then he went into his pocket and looked at a photo, he looked at his guys and nodded, then looked at me again.


You Graziano? Joey Graziano?’


Yes, that’s me. What’s the problem here?’


No problem,’ he said. He then looked at his guys as he walked towards Pete and Malcolm. I hope he wouldn’t hurt them because he was the one with the gun. He put the gun on them. ‘Any of you two fucks move and your dead. You watch.’

Both Pete and Malcolm nodded their heads in compliance.


Right lads, do it, but don’t kill him,’ he said as I stood there paused for a second, the words seeming to bring it home in one quick bang that I was just about to get the living shit kicked out of me.

The words ‘not the face’ came to mind.

Chapter Thirty One

THE PROPOSAL FROM TOMMY’S POINT OF VIEW

Now I don’t care if you’re a lawyer, a bricklayer, or a cleaner, shit I don’t care where you work or what your status is. Throw some money around and you will be treated like fucking royalty.

It doesn’t have to be crazy amounts of money either. Let’s say you’re taking your better half out. You notice the place is packed and you want some quiet time. It really is easy. Just stick a 20 in the host’s hand and smile, then tell him or her you want a quiet table, a romantic little spot.

Chances are you will get it.

When you leave, be the man, find the manager and say hello, tell him how good the food was, tell him you like how he runs shit, throw him a 20 and get his card. The next time you want a table, you ring him and it’s done. No more waiting in the bar spending daft money on overpriced watered down beer.

Having done a few good turns for Jack Swayby at Connelly’s, I was already in his good books, but I had managers of restaurants eating out of my hands in most places due to the fact I played the game, and played it right.

Like I mentioned before, this night was going to be special. Emma was taking ages to get ready, and I didn’t moan at her once. I just chilled watching the TV as she did what women do when getting ready.

When she finally came downstairs, I was gob smacked. She was stunning. Wearing a figure-hugging blue dress with matching shoes and her hair in ringlets, oh man, she really did look way too good for me. I could have jumped her right then and there.

I had told her it was just a romantic dinner for me and her.

We took a normal no-frills taxi, she asked were we were going and I told her. She was concerned because she had some friends who couldn’t seem to get a reservation at Connelly’s but I told her it was sorted. She asked what entertainment was on but I kept it all hushhush.


It’s a surprise, babes,’ I whispered in her ear in the taxi.

Being in the line of work I had been in before the Army, I guess it was inevitable that I would love movies such as ‘Goodfellas’. So, me being me, I went for the Goodfellas entrance. It was all arranged by Jack.

THE PROPOSAL FROM EMMA’S POINT OF VIEW

Before we set off I looked at him and he looked so cool. He was smart, don’t get me wrong, but he kind of was like a scruffy smart, something he did very well and it drove me crazy.

On the way there I nagged him to find out where we were going, what was on. I have to admit I can’t keep sane when I am being surprised. It was the excitement. After all this time I was being wined and dined by the only person I would want to do it for me.

When we got there the queue was stretched out from the club doors way out into the car park. I wouldn’t have waited like that, especially with the dress I had on. It was freezing.

I told Tommy we didn’t have to go in Connelly’s. I told him I wouldn’t wait like the people standing outside in the cold.

He smiled at me like he was as cool as Han Solo himself.


Follow me, we don’t do queues, babe.’

Looking around the alley Tommy led me down my first thoughts were that I was hoping he hadn’t taken me down the alley for a quickie - not yet anyways.

Luckily he hadn’t. We got to an old brown door where a waiter greeted us.


Evening, Emma,’ he said as he opened the door for us and took our coats.

We were taking the ‘Goodfellas’ route. I couldn’t believe it. I remember telling Tommy when we watched the film on VHS many years ago how cool it was. He had remembered. I could hear the famous song which was used in the film by the Ronettes ‘And Then He kissed Me’ playing in the club.


Wow!’, I thought. Tommy was really surpassing his usual efforts, not that I complained, because a tin of Roses and a smile was usually about the limit. He had changed, that was for sure. He just seemed so damn grown up, and happy - it was fantastic to see.

Walking past the hallways and through the kitchen where the chefs and cooks all knew my name somehow was overwhelming, It had me laughing my arse off and I remember thinking ‘How the hell did Tommy get the club to do all this? For me?’

But, to my surprise, the best was yet to come.

As we walked out of the kitchen, a waiter led the way carrying a table just for two above his head. He placed it down at the front of the main floor which was packed with people all wining and dining. They all clapped us. it was surreal.

We sat down and the Manager, a Mr Swayby, came over and introduced himself to us, or me, because the way him and Tommy laughed when they shook hands it was obvious Tommy and he had history.

BOOK: Get Some
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