Ghost Detectors Volume 1 (4 page)

“It has to warm up,” Malcolm said.

Dandy looked at Malcolm like a kid lost in a department store. “Huh?”

“It'll make a noise,” Malcolm said.

“We're not professionals,” Dandy said.

Malcolm gave him a sour look. “Speak for yourself.”

Dandy picked his nose and rubbed his finger on his shirt. “Okay, let's try it out.”

“It's not that easy,” Malcolm said. “We have to decide where we're going to try it.”

“How about right here?” Dandy suggested.

Malcolm laughed out loud. “Here? You think there'd be ghosts around here? Come on, Dandy. The scariest thing around here is Grandma Eunice when she takes her teeth out at night.”

“Then where are we going to find ghosts?” Dandy asked.

Malcolm dropped down on his bottom, right in the middle of the floor, and crossed his legs. He was careful to hold the specter detector with both hands. “That's what we have to figure out.”

Dandy squatted down next to him and said, “How about the library?”

“Why the library?” Malcolm asked.

“I heard that sometimes the books drop off their shelves by themselves for no reason!”

“Dandy, that rumor was started by Mrs. Crutchmeyer. She's a lonely old librarian who will say anything to get people to come check out books.”

Dandy just grunted in agreement. Malcolm suddenly had an idea.

“I've got it!” Malcolm jumped up and hurriedly put the specter detector in a drawer.

“What?” Dandy asked, still sitting.

“The McBleaky house!”

“No!” Dandy shot up off the floor. “No way!”

“Can you think of a better place?” Malcolm argued. “There's no doubt that it's haunted. Everyone knows it.”

“And everyone stays away,” Dandy added.

“Be a coward, I don't care,” Malcolm said. “But I'm going there right now to check it out.”

Malcolm headed toward the stairs, then looked back at Dandy. “Are you coming, or would you rather stay here and watch my sister hop around like a kangaroo with the chicken pox?”

Dandy stood for a moment considering. “Let's go,” he finally said.

M
alcolm and Dandy snuck out the back and raced around to the front. They ran down the sidewalk, their sneakers pounding hard on the hot concrete.

After two blocks, Malcolm decided it was safe to slow down and walk, but he still hurried. He hadn't had this much fun since he invented a windshield wiper for his safety goggles with Cocoa's toothbrush.

The midday traffic hummed as the boys walked toward town. But instead of turning left on Main Street, they turned right and headed uphill, away from the buzz of the community.

Malcolm could see the McBleaky house, standing gray and gloomy up ahead. And the
closer they got, the slower they walked, Dandy lagging several steps behind.

“Maybe I should wait here,” Dandy said. “I wouldn't want to scare off any of the ghosts.”

Malcolm gave him a look. “You couldn't scare a flea off a dog's behind. Keep walking.”

Dandy crept slowly behind Malcolm, then shouted, “Wait!”

Malcolm nearly jumped out of his jeans. “Don't give me a heart attack like that! What's wrong?”

“You didn't bring the ghost detector.”

Malcolm exhaled a barrel full of nervous air. “I know. We're just scoping the place out right now. Besides it's pointless to try and detect a ghost during the day. Don't you watch horror movies? They only come out at night.”

“So when do you plan to look for ghosts?” Dandy asked.

Malcolm grinned. “Tonight.”

Dandy turned a sickly shade of white. “A-alone?”

“Don't be silly,” Malcolm said. “You're spending the night tonight.”

Dandy's face drooped. “Tonight?”

“Don't be such a baby. Let's go.”

Malcolm and Dandy walked up to the crumbling picket fence. It was an awesome sight. Even in the middle of summer, the trees looked dead and mossy. The weeds were taller than the first floor windows, and the second story of the house sagged. The top windows reminded Malcolm of sleepy eyes, waiting and watching.

Malcolm stepped onto the creaky McBleaky porch. He grinned.

“Dandy,” he whispered to his jittery friend, “a creaky porch is a definite sign of a haunted house.”

A cottony cobweb guarded the front door. “Bingo,” Malcolm said. “Another sure sign.”

And when he opened the squeaky McBleaky door, he knew he couldn't have picked a better place. Malcolm was sure that nothing was living here. But just as they were about to step in, two hands grabbed their shoulders. Malcolm and Dandy whipped around with a scream.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!” A most hideous monster stood inches away!

“I'm going to tell Mom you came here,” Cocoa said, pursing her lips.

It took Malcolm a few seconds to catch his breath. “You followed us!”

“That's right,” Cocoa said. “I told you I'd pay you back. Now you're in big trouble, mister.”

“Well, if I'm in trouble then so are you. You're here too.” Malcolm gave Cocoa a smug grin.

“Not if I tell Mom that I followed you because I knew you were up to something,” Cocoa said.

“And I'll tell Mom that you don't mind your own business,” Malcolm argued.

Cocoa pressed her fists to her hips. “I'll tell Mom that you could have been killed out here, and I was only doing it for your own good.”

“I'll tell Mom that I saw you kissing Carson O'Donnell behind the school last week.”

Cocoa gasped and covered her mouth. “You didn't see that,” she whispered.

“Yes, I did,” Malcolm said. “And you're just lucky I haven't told Mom before now.”

Cocoa stood up tall and raised her nose in the air. “Fine. I won't say anything if you won't.”

“Fine,” Malcolm said. “Now go away.”

Cocoa stepped off the rickety porch and pushed through the tall weeds. She looked back and yelled, “But you better bring back my blow-dryer!”

Once she was gone, Dandy shook his head. “Your sister is weird.”

Malcolm nodded. “But not as weird as this old house. It's perfect. We're definitely coming back tonight.”

M
alcolm sat with his family at dinner that evening, but his mind was on ghost detecting. Everyone was unusually quiet. Dad had the TV blaring from the living room so he could hear the six o'clock news. Malcolm saw his chance to launch Step One of his ghost-hunting plan.

“Mom, can Dandy spend the night?”

“Of course,” Mom said. “He can keep you company while you watch Grandma Eunice.”

The spaghetti in Malcolm's mouth suddenly tasted like lead. “I'm watching Grandma Eunice tonight?”

“It's just for a few hours,” Mom said.

“Why can't Cocoa watch her?”

Mom laid down her fork. “Because Cocoa is going with me.”

“Why can't I go?” Malcolm asked. He didn't really want to go anywhere with them, but he wanted to protest.

Mom sighed and lifted her fork again. “You can go if you think you'll enjoy shopping for Cocoa's new dress.”

Cocoa wrinkled her nose and smirked at him.

Malcolm wouldn't give up. “Why can't Dad watch Grandma?”

“Bowling night,” Dad said, shoveling spaghetti into his mouth.

Malcolm sank in his chair. It was useless. He looked over at Grandma Eunice, who didn't seem to notice they were talking about her. She had a large napkin tucked in her collar, and there appeared to be more spaghetti on her chin and fingers than on her plate.

He spoke to her in a defeated voice. “I'm staying with you tonight, Grandma Eunice.”

She gave him a tomatoey grin. “That's nice.”

His plan to sneak back to the McBleaky house might not work after all.

That evening, Grandma Eunice sat on the edge of the sofa, watching an old black-and-white
TV show. Dandy was lying on the floor, using Cocoa's blow-dryer to balance a ping-pong ball. The ball floated on the steady jet of warm air—a trick Malcolm had shown him a few weeks ago.