Ghost Island (19 page)

CHAPTER 36

This shore boat driver was younger than Daniel, and overweight with a ruddy complexion, a wide grin, and overpowering cologne.

“Hey, now.
Don’t cry,” he said. “You’re going to be fine. In a few minutes you’ll be on that ship out there.” He pointed through the drizzle. “And tomorrow, once the weather clears up, you’ll be back in Los Angeles.”

“Where’s Daniel?” I asked, still leaning on Grace.

“Daniel who?”

“The other driver.”

“Don’t know him,” he told me. “Lots of the guys just do this gig part-time. Me, I’m usually here twenty-four seven. When the storm hit, it was my week off, and I was hanging out with some buddies in Two Harbors.”

“You must know him,” I said, wiping my eyes. “He’s tall, African-American, and he speaks a lot of languages. He really helped us, and I want to thank him before we leave.”

He shook his head.
“Probably a part-timer.”

But Daniel said that he had been on the island for twenty years. Had he been real? Or had he shown up to help us because doing so fulfilled some unfinished business of his own? I remembered his husky voice when he talked about having kids once. What had happened to them, and was that the reason he went out of his way to protect us? Yet he and Aaron knew each other. That only raised more questions. Although I had always been aware that there was more to our existence than just life and death, I now realized that there were more levels of life—and death—than I had ever imagined.

“The storm washed out the road to the hotel,” the driver said, “but my radio’s still working. I just heard from the hotel manager. Your group got out in time.”

“How many?”
Grace asked, in a tense, tight voice.

“I don’t know, but I think it’s all of them. They’ll be here any minute, and then I’ll take you out to that ship for the rest of the night. That’s probably them over there. See the golf carts.”

Tears filled my eyes again. We were going to get out of here, after all.
Grace, Johnny, Charles, Ms. Gates, and me.
But so were Emily and the others.

Johnny was the first one onto the shore boat. One look at him—his clear dark eyes—and I knew he was okay.

I hugged him, then Charles, and then Ms. Gates, who seemed to have forgotten how mad she had been at me.

“Thank goodness you’re all right,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry we missed the cruise.”

“Don’t be,” I said, and I could tell by her expression that she knew I was talking about more than missing out on a trip.

Charles and Grace embraced and hung onto each other. Emily and her friends filed onto the boat behind them and smiled politely at me, as if I were a stranger in line at the grocery store.

The wind blew Emily’s hair straight back from her face. She didn’t bother trying to restrain it.

“Remember what I told you,” I said. “Once we get out of here, I’m going to tell the real Emily’s family the truth about what you are.”

“As if anybody would believe the daughter of a murderer, Livia.”
Then she shifted and stared out at the ocean and the lights of Avalon.

***

The shore boat delivered us to the ship that would take us to Los Angeles the next day. Although it wasn’t as large as the one that would have taken us to Mexico, it had room for all of us to sleep. Grace and I decided to share a berth, the way we had that first Friday. It was larger than the one on the catamaran. I slept without dreams, and I guessed that she did too. By dawn, the rain had become a soft shower, and then it slowed and stopped.

Aaron didn’t come. Not that night, and not the next morning. Even as we all drank coffee and talked about how great it would be to get back to Los Angeles, I thought about leaving this ship, demanding that the shore boat come back out and take me to the casino. Aaron wouldn’t be there, though. If he could be anywhere, it would be here with me. That’s how simple the truth was, and how complicated. I had loved Aaron enough to stay. He had loved me enough to make me leave.

CHAPTER 37

Grace and I stood together on the sunny pier in San Pedro, outside Los Angeles. She had taken off the dark sweater, and her arms glowed in the sun. I had done the same, and I had also pinned up my hair. It felt like a boulder on the top of my head.

Johnny’s congressman dad was sending a limo, and Johnny invited me to ride to the airport with him. He was a few feet from us, on his phone, talking to the driver as Grace and I tried to say goodbye. Her mother, no longer trusting public transportation, was on her way from Seattle.

“She’s really scared,” Grace told me. “I didn’t realize how Felicia’s running away affected her. I thought I was the only one who was destroyed.”

“You’re not destroyed,” I said.
“Far from it.”

“I almost was. Not knowing where my sister had gone controlled every choice I made in my life. Every smart-ass remark I made, every bad boy I dated. Even what almost happened back there on the
island.
Not anymore, though.”

“You mean that?”

“Hey, Felicia’s the one who checked out. I can’t blame myself anymore. Maybe someday...” She shrugged. “Who knows? For now, I’m glad I’m going home, and I fully intend to spend some time with Charles.”

“Seattle’s not that far away from Canada.” My lip trembled. “Or from the Bay Area, either. I mean, if your mom ever lets you come to California again.”

“You know I’ll come.” She hugged me, and I could see tears in her eyes. “Better yet, Livia, why not visit me in Seattle? We’re a weird family, but we look out for each other. You’ve got to keep me posted about your dad, too.”

“He’s innocent,” I said. “It’s just a matter of time until everyone else knows it.”

Johnny walked toward us, and she whispered, “Sacramento’s not that far from you either, girlfriend. Maybe you and Johnny can get together.”

“Maybe.”
I forced a smile.

“Livia.”
She grabbed my wrist, her eyes wide and scared. “Don’t do this. Please, don’t even think about Aaron.”

“I’m not thinking about anyone.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

I wanted to tell her that Aaron wasn’t one of the spirits who came in with the storm. I wanted to say that he returned to Catalina Island because he spent happy times there, and quite possibly the last moments of his life. I even wanted to say that he made sure that I didn’t stay on the island and leave myself vulnerable to one of the spirit girls. But Grace wasn’t ready to hear it, and I was not ready to say it.

Instead, I hugged her again, really hard. We were both crying when we stepped apart.

“Remember what I said,” she told me.
“About you-know-who.”

Johnny walked over to us, and she wiped the tears from her eyes. He pretended not to notice.

“Sure you don’t want to join us, Grace? The driver will be here in three hours.”

“Can’t,” she said.

He grinned.
“Meeting Charles?”

“Who else?”
She started walking toward the pier, then turned one last time and waved at me. It was as if she was sending me on to wherever I would go next. But she was also putting out her hand to me, acknowledging our connection, regardless of the distance between us.

“Remember,” she said.

“I will. And I’ll miss you, Grace.”

She turned back, and I knew she was crying again.

“Well,” Johnny said, “I guess that leaves us. Want to walk around?”

“Sure.”

We had some time to kill before his flight to Sacramento, and when I saw a hair salon, I knew what I needed to do.

“
Walk-ins welcome
,” the sign read, and I walked in.

The thin, blond woman told me to sit in her chair.

“Trim?” she asked.

I met her gaze in the mirror. “Cut it.”

“Locks of Love,” she replied, as if answering a question she hadn’t been asked. “Lots of the high school girls donate their hair to kids with cancer.” She stretched out a section of it. “How short do you want it?”

“Short.”

I watched as she sectioned my hair into three ponytails and secured them.

“This much,” she said.
“How’s that?”

“More.”

“You mean business, don’t you? Okay, then.” She began snipping. How easily the weight of it fell from me, onto my shoulders, onto the floor.

Finally, she looked at my shorn head in the mirror as if deciding what to do next.

“I feel as if I’m seeing a blank canvas,” she said.

I studied myself in the same way she had.
“Me too.”

By the time she finished, I could see only my bangs and eyes.

Johnny had waited for me outside the shop. “Wow,” he said. “You look fantastic. How do you feel?”

“Light.”

My knees buckled and I leaned against him a moment. I realized the effects of what we had been through wouldn’t just disappear once I was home. I could not imagine going back here, where my life was on hold while I waited for my dad to be freed and for my mom to be found. And she would be found, I knew. I was more certain than ever that she was alive.

In the limo, I looked out the window at the first b
lu
e sky I had seen in weeks, at the women in jeans and white shorts, their suntanned arms.

“I’m coming to see you when we get home,” Johnny said. “I’m only an hour or so away from the Bay Area.”

“I’d like that.”

“Now, don’t get all excited. I don’t think I could handle it.”

“Johnny, please. We’re both worn out.”

“Answer one question and I’ll shut up.
Deal?”

I laughed.
“You and your deals.
Okay.”

“Tell me the truth and don’t worry about my feelings.”

“I kind of saved your life, and you think I don’t care about your feelings?”

“You did save it, and I’m
lu
cky I don’t have a black eye.” He rubbed his cheek where I had slapped it. “Here’s my question. You think I’m funny, right?”

“Hilarious,” I said.

“You think I’m cute?”

This was starting to get sticky. “Yes,” I told him. “No thinking necessary. And for the record, that was two questions.”

“I’m funny, I’m cute. You just saved my life, so we’re bonded. But you’re not into me, are you?”

It was the last thing I expected. How did I answer? Grace would have some smart response that might sting, but only momentarily, something that would let both of them off the hook.

“I’ve just been through too much, Johnny. We both have.” The limo stopped at a red light, and I watched a couple openly embracing at a sidewalk café.

I knew right then that I wanted what they had, the breeze-tangled hair, the wrapped arms, the human touch and drinking in of scent.
The love.

The way Johnny had wanted Matt, Charles had wanted money, and Grace had wanted to be reunited with her sister. I had wanted love, a passion powerful enough to lift me from my life.

“Is it because of the drinking?” he asked. “Because if it is...”

I shook my head, squeezed his hand. “You’ve fought bigger demons and won. I know you’ll be okay. Once you level with your dad, he’ll be able to help you.”

“If my drinking isn’t the problem, it’s got to be Aaron.” His gaze was steady and focused.

I was afraid to move or blink.

“He’s not real,” I said. “Let’s talk about something that is.”

“What’s real, Livia? I don’t know any more. Do you?”

“No. So let’s not be so freaking serious.”

I shrugged and socked him in the arm. We made faces at each other. We laughed.

At the airport, we hugged, and it felt good. He kissed my cheek and the top of my head.

“I don’t want to let go of you, Livia.” His eyes were bright. “If I do, I might never see you again.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course, you will.” Still, I was choking up as well. “I’ll text you when I get back home.”

“You’d better.” He straightened, turned, and walked away from me.

I watched his navy b
lu
e shirt until it became a tiny dot among the many baggage-laden b
lu
rs heading the same direction he was.

Then I turned, hurried out of the airport, and ran toward the first cab I saw. I would have time here before my flight left in the morning.

Time to make sense of my feelings.
Time to rest, maybe even dream.
Right now, though, I was going to start searching—for a family named St. John and a street called Aberdeen.