Ghost of Christmas Past (20 page)

He was
exhausted, hungry, dirty, and his shoulder now hurt like the very
devil because Thea wielded a mean frying pan but, in that moment,
he couldn’t think of anywhere else he would rather be – except in a
nice warm bed. When a shiver swept over her he realised that she
was lying on a cold stone floor wearing nothing but a thin
nightgown. It took every ounce of effort he could afford to release
her from his kisses but he levered off her and tugged her to her
feet.

“
Come on,” he growled and took a moment to remove the hot pan
of milk from the fire before he escorted her to the door. He made
no attempt to find a cup and merely swept a still dazed Thea off
her feet before he stalked through the house toward the
bedroom.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Thea
sighed and tried desperately to keep hold of her temper. Last night
had been wonderful, sublime even. He had deposited her onto the bed
in her room as though she were made of the finest porcelain and
followed her down with a sensual determination that had been
impossible to refuse. This morning she had felt closer to him than
ever before. It was the first time ever she had woken up in his
arms and loved it. The slumberous look in his eyes as he had smiled
sleepily at her had warmed her heart in a way that left her still
trembling with what had happened before he had allowed her out of
bed.

Now
though, the familiar restlessness had returned with a vengeance and
this morning refused to be appeased with the pages of a new book.
She glared at it in disgust and threw it down onto the table beside
her before she turned her attention to the man who had so easily
captured her heart again. If she was honest she strongly suspected
that he had held it throughout the last four years, but she
couldn’t bring herself to tell him that so early in their
re-acquaintance.

“
Look, Rupert, I have done everything you have asked of me. I
have stayed away from the windows and remained inside, but I am not
a prisoner. I have done nothing wrong and cannot live like a hermit
until the Star Elite capture this Frenchman. There is nothing to
say that he is even in the area, let alone interested in what goes
on here.”

Rupert
sighed deeply. He had known this argument had been brewing and, in
all conscience, was struggling to find ways to fight it. She was
right; Fornier had not ventured anywhere near since their walk in
the park. She couldn’t remain a prisoner at Ridings or she would
soon come to hate the place and that wasn’t fair on either her or
John. He had seen the same restlessness in her yesterday and had
hoped that the sexual trysts they had enjoyed last night would have
been enough to leave her in bed for at least the rest of the
morning. However he had lost sight of the fact that this was Thea,
who had spent much of the last four years predominantly in bed
recovering from severe injuries to her legs. He couldn’t blame her
for not wanting to be confined to the house again, especially now
she was fit and well and excited to see London.

“
So where do you want to go?” He mentally ran through the list
of things she had drawn up.

“
I just wanted to go to the dressmakers to get something more
fashionable,” Thea sighed. “I have been living in the country for
so long that my wardrobe is rather outdated to say the very least,
especially for London. Although I have no plans to go out for the
time being, I should like to at least be able to wear more than the
three dresses I have brought with me. When I left Leicestershire, I
didn’t realise that my movements would be so severely restricted. I
need all sorts of things to be able to get by, Rupert.” She fought
to keep her voice from rising but could still see lingering doubt
on his face, although he had yet to voice any real refusal. Sensing
she was at least starting to gain ground she issued him with a
stern look. “There is nothing on the list that I would even
consider for one second allowing you to purchase for
me.”

Rupert
smiled and shook his head. “I could arrange for a modiste to come
here. At least you could then sit before the fire and enjoy having
someone wait on you. There are several excellent ones nearby. I am
sure that one of them would be available.”

“
I need fripperies, undergarments, and shoes,” she began to
pace backward and forward in front of the fire. It did little to
ease her frustration but at least it was movement. If she didn’t do
something she was going to go stark raving mad. “I need personal
items that only a lady should know about and I need to see people.
I am starting to feel that I am in prison, Rupert. I refuse to live
like this.”

Rupert
sighed and studied his feet. He had been going about his work and
had left the house on several occasions. He had never stopped to
consider what it was like for Thea to have to remain indoors for so
long. He knew that he had lost the battle and searched desperately
to find some sort of solution that would appease them both but
failed miserably. She was right. There were undoubtedly things she
needed to get that only ladies should know about. With a sigh of
defeat he rubbed a hand down his face and pushed to his
feet.

“
I need to go and speak to Marcus and see if he can keep watch
on the house,” he grumbled and stalked across the room to stand
before her. He placed on finger beneath her chin and stared hard
into her eyes. “I am going to hail a cab while you get your coat.
There is a dress maker I know not far away who will see you without
an appointment but I warn you here and now Thea, do you as you are
told. If I say it is time to leave, don’t question me, don’t argue
and don’t hesitate to do as I tell you to. I don’t know if Fornier
is in the area, but if he appears I don’t want you to take any
unnecessary risks.”

“
Oh, but -” Thea gasped, however Rupert didn’t wait to hear
what she said and stalked out of the door with determined strides.
Sensing only a partial victory, she frowned at the empty doorway
for a moment before the heady scent of freedom propelled her into
action. She met him by the front door minutes later. The dark scowl
on his face warned her that he was far from happy with the
situation but knew there was little he could do about
it.

“
Sir?” Argus called as he hurried toward him. “A gentleman
dropped by and left you this.”

“
Did he leave a calling card?”

Argus
shook his head. “He said that you need to read it and he would see
you later to discuss it at the usual time and in the same place as
before.”

Rupert
scowled at the butler for a moment before he took the note and
shoved it into his pocket.

“
Thank you, Rupert,” Thea sighed once they were in the
carriage and on their way. “I know that you are not happy about
this but there is nothing going to go wrong, you’ll
see.”

Rupert
studied her for several minutes and remained quiet. He was damned
well positive that nothing was going to wrong. He had his loaded
gun on his hip, a knife in his boot and nothing and nobody was
going to go anywhere near Thea, except for the modiste and only
then she was going to hold nothing but a piece of chalk.

Once the
carriage was weaving its way across London, Rupert removed the note
from his pocket and opened it. His curse broke the silence of the
gloomy interior as he read the contents before stuffing the note
out of sight. Bitter frustration swept through him. If only Argus
had given him the note several minutes earlier.

He
studied the joy on Thea’s face which was for once without frowns or
shadows, and knew deep in his heart that he couldn’t order the
carriage to turn around and head back to Ridings. Thea wasn’t the
nagging type, but she would be sad and restless again and he
couldn’t bear to see her like that. Now that they were in the
carriage and on their way he had to let her pay a visit to the
modiste. He knew of one that sat hidden in the far corner of a
small mews that was discrete but also very fashionable.

How he
was supposed to be at the modiste with Thea though, and over at the
docks to help close down a gang of thieves and pick-pockets at the
same time heaven only knew.

“
Penny for them?” Thea said quietly. She hated to see the
dark, almost forbidding, expression on his face and wondered if he
was grumpy because he had been forced to give way and allow her out
of the house.

“
Things are changing quickly with the investigation, Thea.
This is a note from my boss asking for my assistance across town. I
can hardly refuse.”

“
He is your boss. If you are needed, that’s fine. I am going
to be perfectly alright at the modiste, you’ll see.”

“
God I hate this,” Rupert growled, and shook his head as he
stared at the floor. He hated the thought of dropping her off and
leaving her even for a second, but had little choice without
dashing her excitement.

“
I am a grown up, Rupert, and perfectly capable of going to
the modiste by myself. Besides, I don’t think that the Frenchman
you are after is going to be all that bothered with me when he has
the Star Elite breathing down his neck.”

Rupert
sighed and knew she was right but his gut instinct was screaming at
him that he should not leave her alone. Unfortunately, Marcus had
just finished his overnight watch and, although he had agreed to
keep watch over the house while Rupert was gone, would need sleep
as soon as he had finished helping Rupert with the gang. Everyone
else was off doing other investigative work and, even if he could
find them, they were already committed elsewhere and wouldn’t want
to spend the afternoon at the dressmakers.

“
You don’t have to babysit me, Rupert, I am a grown up. I am
sure that I can manage to find my own way home,” she persisted,
hating him to feel obligated to look after her.

“
It is my responsibility now Thea.”

“
I am not your responsibility.”

“
You are now, especially after last night,” he sighed and
moved across the carriage to sit beside her. Her hand felt small
and delicate against his large, work-roughened palm and he cradled
the fragile bones tenderly for several moments. “I am afraid that
after last night you and your welfare are very much my concern
now.”

“
Last night was -” What was it? Was it a one night stand
again? Tender? Intimate? Wonderful? She wasn’t quite sure what to
call it and began to wish that she hadn’t spoken.

“
Last night was perfect, and something we are going to do as
often as possible just as soon as my work with the Star Elite is
done,” he warned her.

Thea
felt her cheeks flood with colour and she shifted uncomfortably
against the wild thrill of pleasure that rushed back as she
remembered what they had shared last night.

“
We need to talk about last night, Thea, and what this means
to us.”

“
I don’t see that it has to change anything between
us.”

“
Of course it does. How can I let you walk away
now?”

Her
stomach flipped at the calm determination on his face but she was
slightly stunned at his declaration.

“
I can’t really walk, it is more of a hobble,” she replied
wryly and sat back warily when he immediately leaned forward and
braced his elbows on his knees.

“
They don’t bother me, Thea; the scars. They are a memory of a
time when I should have stayed and fought for what I wanted, and
didn’t. I am still not certain whether I would have preferred to
change any of the last four years, I will be honest with you. My
life now has got purpose, drive and has made me realise just how
precious some aspects of life really are. You, more than anyone,
should know not to take anything to granted, not even your health.
I have seen death and destruction the likes of which no man should
ever witness and I have killed and maimed in my fight for survival
but, throughout all of that, I have witnessed acts of human
kindness, benevolence and sacrifice that has left me questioning my
own beliefs about everything. I thought I didn’t want hearth and
home, marriage, and any degree of commitment to anyone, but I am
sick of spending my nights out in the cold, where it is dark and
danger lurks in every corner. I want something solid to go home to
and that something solid for me is you.”

Thea
blinked against the stinging in her eyes and wished it could be as
simple as that. She had no idea what she wanted right now, except
she knew with absolute conviction that she really wanted him, but
did she want to give up her freedom and independence for someone
who disappeared for hours and risked his life every day? Her uncle
John had learned just how much peril Rupert faced on a daily basis.
Could she live each day not knowing if Rupert would ever come home
again? On the other hand, could she live with the knowledge that
she had pushed him away and turned her back on a love she knew she
would never experience again?

She
opened her mouth to speak only for the carriage to turn into the
small mews that contained a small shop with a discrete sign hanging
above the single doorway. A brightly coloured array of hats and
fripperies on display in the window was the only indication that
they were at Madame Coulieu’s dressmakers.

“
It’s one of the finest in London, or so I am told,” Rupert
sighed as he jumped down and dropped the step.