Ghostwriting (2 page)

I THINK YOU only truly appreciate your mother once you become a parent yourself. I'm not just talking about the long and arduous labour, or the damage done to her body in order that you might be in the world — I am talking about the worry and anxiety that never ends. I adore my mum, if only for managing to keep me alive this long. Dad, too, but that's another story.

My mother's original name is Beryl-Ann, but she was christened Carol. Apparently, there is no saint by the name of Beryl-Ann, so the old priest performing the service refused to christen Mum until her parents rethought their choice. Mum ended up with Toni because her grandfather had expected her to be a boy.

My mother and myself began to explore esoteric thought at around the same time. I was getting married, Mum was getting divorced.

Just in case any readers might be mistaken in thinking that esoteric doctrine has something to do
with the devil, the word esoteric simply means ‘withheld, not clear'. It is ancient wisdom, knowledge of the etheric world and its inhabitants; it teaches a belief in the soul-mind and the inner realms of the cosmos.

Mum and I have aided each other to unravel some of life's mysteries during our many deep discussions about the secret mysteries of this planet, the nature of spirituality and mankind. Much of what we have theorised is hidden beneath the plot lines of my tales, but it is up to the reader to define their own boundary between fact and fiction.

Thanks to Mum I have come into contact with many psychics, channellers, healers, and even a few spirits. These experiences and connections have helped me to explore my view of the Otherworld and have given me an active insight into the world of the unexplained, which I find irresistibly intriguing these days.

My mother has completed several motivational and spiritual courses; has studied parapsychology, Bowen therapy and is a Reiki Master of some years. Recently she travelled to India to visit the Ashram of Sari Baba, whose teachings she devotes herself to following in every aspect of her life.

So, if any of you have ever wondered where I get my inspiration from, much of it comes from the experiences I have had in the company of my mother and her friends. Needless to say this group of people
do wonders for my research and after speaking with them I never lack for story ideas.

It was one of Mum's close friends, Lynny Rainbow (actress in ‘Number 96' and countless other film, TV and theatre productions) who first read
The Ancient Future
and loved the manuscript so much that she sent it to a literary agent. This kind act was the defining moment of my career as a published writer, an event that never would have happened without the subtle guidance of my mother and her belief in my talent.

Ask anyone who knows my mum and they will tell you that she is as spiritually wise as she is kind and caring; it is healing just to be in her presence. From her I have learned what it is to love intelligently and think lovingly. Together we have discovered how to create our own reality, to see the wonder in life and the best in people.

 

‘A Piece of Time' was originally a short story that I wrote to accompany a present that my mother was being given on her fiftieth birthday. The gift was an antique fob watch, and although this story has been dramatically altered from the original tale, the fob watch and general storyline remain the same.

The redraft of this tale happened when
New Idea
wanted a short fiction piece from me. They hoped to
capture the younger audience with my tale, so the character that my mother had played in the original version reverted in years to a young modern version of my own mother. She would probably like me to mention here that she would never have her nose pierced, but besides this bit of creative licence, my character was pretty well spot on.

‘A Piece of Time' appeared in
New Idea
, July 29, 2000.

A WEIGHTLESS SENSATION of euphoric peace liberated her entire being from the days of pain and struggle, whilst around her doctors and nurses shifted into a state of emergency. It was
her
body bleeding to death on the operating table below and yet she couldn't bring herself to feel anything for the physical persona she'd left behind; it was nothing more than an outdated suit of clothes that she desired never to wear again.

‘She's haemorrhaging,' a nurse stated, shifting the grieving husband out of the way.

Christopher!
She felt her husband's panic and sense of betrayal. This was to be the happiest day of their lives — the birth of their first child.

‘What's happening?' he demanded to know, only to be ushered further out of the way. ‘Helen? Helen!'

The dread of their imminent separation drew her perception back toward her body and sent a sharp stabbing pain through her heart. He didn't deserve to be abandoned with a new baby to raise alone. He was a tender, intelligent man, whom she would miss terribly.

No more!
She pulled against her desire for the earthly pleasures her lover had bestowed upon her; she had done with her time amidst the uncomfortable constraints of matter.

The heart monitor changed in tone to alert all in the room to a pending disaster. ‘We're losing her,' the head nurse told everyone.

‘Get him out of here!' the doctor ordered, referring to Christopher, as the staff made ready to try and resuscitate their patient.

In the corner, pushed out of the way and screaming for attention, was the child she had borne and would never hold. But not even the loss of that pleasure could induce her to give up her newly-acquired state of liberation and peace. Their association was not meant to be this time around, but she would watch after her boy's interests and aid him through the tests this lifetime held in store for him.

As the doctors exhausted themselves trying to keep her with them, she followed her husband out into the corridor, where he had collapsed on to a seat.

He was clutching to his heart an old fob watch that had been her first gift to him and had rarely left his person since.

Eerie that she could hear every breath he took, the beating of his heart and the ticking of the fob watch pressed against his chest. The tick, tick, ticking of the watch seemed greatly amplified in comparison to his heartbeat and the sound became offensive to her senses. She willed the noise to cease!

Her husband was immediately alerted to the failure of the piece he clutched so tightly. In desperation, he opened the golden covering to view the watch face, which had stopped dead on the hour of one o'clock. The look of horror on his face indicated that he knew his wife had departed this world.

 

As Tani emerged from her doze, the first thing she became aware of was the tick, tick, ticking of the watch she clutched to her chest. In retrospect, and considering the dream she'd had, she realised that it had startled her awake. Her eyes opened and fell on the digital clock on her bedside table: it was 1.00 a.m.

‘Christ!' She'd half scampered off the bed before she'd realised that all was well — she'd only had that bloody dream again. ‘Freaky.' She tossed the fob watch on to the bed and held her arms around her chest to recover. The coincidence between the time she'd awoken and the time in her vision was just too spooky.

Chistopher, the handsome young widower in the vision, had clung to the same watch she now eyed from a distance. Tani considered whether the universe had perhaps cursed her with the taunting episodes for buying the watch on a frivolous whim.

In order to purchase the rare fob watch, Tani had dived into money she'd been saving to travel overseas. There were so many mysterious destinations and other cultures that Tani wanted to experience before a mortgage and family life got hold of her, as it had many of her friends. She would fly away from the mundane, she'd decided, which was probably why she had yet to meet Mr Right — Tani was convinced he awaited her abroad at some exotic destination.

It had been her romantic heart that had landed her in this disturbing situation. The fob watch had so lured her upon sighting it, as jewellery seldom had, that Tani imagined the timepiece and herself were destined for each other. She was not too sure she still thought so.

‘I don't know what I was thinking,' she said, as if it were the pointless waste of money that disturbed her and not the vivid dreams she'd had both times she had fallen asleep with the watch on her person. The other thing that was a little disturbing was that Tani had only wound the watch once since she'd purchased it two weeks ago, and it had yet to stop ticking. She retrieved the fob watch from amidst her
bedding and placed it in its green velvet case, out of harm's way. ‘I'll just take it back first thing tomorrow,' she resolved, as if she truly believed the solution would be that simple.

Flashes of the tragic circumstances unfolding in her dream recurred to taunt Tani and challenge her resolution when she returned her head to the pillow.
It is not my business to chase up ghosts
. She attempted to justify her decision, but it seemed her heart and sense of adventure were in distinct disagreement with her logical brain and better judgement.

 

Outside the antique dealership the next morning, which she passed every day, Tani waited patiently for the owner to arrive and open up.

All night a feeling of foreboding had been welling within her, and although her decision to return the timepiece looked like making her late for work, Tani couldn't hold out until lunchtime to have this dilemma resolved.

She recognised the owner as he approached bearing a bunch of keys. All she received from him was a vaguely perturbed look, probably due to having a customer waiting to hassle him before he'd even had a chance to sip the coffee he'd purchased. Tani, sensing his mood, did her best to hang back and not rush the man, even though the hour of nine was imminent.

‘Can I help you?' he inquired, seeming mildly appeased that she had at least waited for him to collect himself.

‘Yes.' Tani snapped to attention, pulling the green velvet case from her bag. ‘You might remember I bought this here a couple of weeks back? I wish to return it.'

‘Do you have the receipt?' he queried indifferently.

Tani had forgotten about that little detail. Still, she knew she'd shoved the slip of paper in the back compartment of her purse with all her other important receipts. ‘Sure do,' she assured the frosty salesman. Opening her purse, she expected to find the docket staring her in the face, since it was so recent. ‘Hold on …' Tani begged the man's patience as she pulled a mound of little white papers on to the counter and proceeded to sort through them. ‘
Oh
… where could it have gotten to?'

‘No receipt, no refund,' the owner concluded coldly, in a rather pompous English accent.

Tani could hardly believe the stand he was taking, and she smiled as she spoke her mind, not wanting to provoke a heated argument. ‘Surely you remember me? I came in several times to look at the watch before I decided to buy it.'

He glanced her over briefly. ‘No, I don't remember you.'

Now either the old guy was going senile, or he was lying to her. ‘Then surely you recognise the
watch. It is a very distinctive piece.' She opened the case and held it up for him to view.

The gentleman looked down his nose at the rare item. ‘It
is
lovely,' he commented, in a noncommittal fashion.

‘So you do recognise it?' Tani prompted, desperate to speed things along.

‘No,' he stated matter-of-factly.

Tani drew a deep breath, and opted for a different tack. ‘In that case, would you be interested in purchasing this
lovely
piece?'

The gentleman eyed Tani up and down again, this time taking in her all-black attire, complete with black leather jacket, short jet-black haircut and silver nose ring. ‘How do I know it's not stolen?'

Tani rolled her eyes, thinking the answer was obvious. ‘Because you sold it to me! Where am I, in the twilight zone or something?'

‘Miss, if you have a drug problem that is your concern, not mine,' he told her rudely and Tani's jaw nearly hit the ground. ‘I have already told you that I have never seen you or this piece before and therefore I must bid you good day.'

Stepping out into the street, Tani truly felt as if she'd entered another dimension. The gentleman at the reputable dealership had always been very congenial to her, and she'd never imagined he would attack her personally. Surely he didn't treat all of his customers this way? So she dressed in black quite a
bit, but it wasn't like her clothes were tatty, or that she wore dark make-up or appeared half out of it. How dare he make her feel inferior? She had a good mind to go in there and give him a piece of her mind, but where would that get her?

‘Just more infuriated than I am now, most likely.' Tani exhaled heavily in the hope of ridding herself of some of her fury. Not only was she late for work, but she was stuck with the damn watch.

 

That night Tani made sure she left the watch inside its case, inside her bag, at the other end of her unit. She would sleep tonight and put this little problem behind her. In reality, she'd probably just created this whole scenario surrounding the timepiece to make her life seem more interesting.

 

The tick, tick, ticking that woke Tani was a rude shock to her system.

No, it can't be,
her semi-conscious brain reasoned, as she perceived that she was holding an item to her heart. As she reached for the bedside lamp, she broke into a panicked sweat already knowing what the light would disclose. The digital clock by the bed read 1.00 a.m. and Tani's heart jumped into her throat. Even once the light was on she still felt trapped in the nightmare — the fob watch was in her hand. Deeply shocked, Tani placed the offending item aside and lay back down.
I never
sleepwalk!
She mentally rejected the only rational explanation. The night air was freezing; if she had braved beyond her warm covers, she would have known about it. ‘Please, please, leave me alone!' she sobbed into her pillow, weary from lack of sleep and even more frightened by the cause.

Tani didn't have any close family she could discuss her problem with, and most of her friends were having babies, or had boyfriends and had lost interest in such esoteric mysteries.

‘I need professional advice,' she reasoned, as she wiped away the fearful tears that escaped her eyes. ‘Tomorrow is Saturday, and I know one such professional.' With this resolution the panic that had gripped Tani ebbed a little. She always looked forward to seeing her clairvoyant and, although it could be considered another frivolous waste of money, she felt confident that his advice would prove more beneficial than any doctor she went to visit at this stage.

 

Tani's clairvoyant was a fairly hard man to see on short notice, but as she was a regular customer, Winter had managed to squeeze Tani in during his lunch break.

Winter wasn't at all mystified or sceptical as Tani outlined what had transpired since she'd bought the watch; rather, he seemed to relate totally. ‘Well, what we seem to have here is a very personal case of
psychometry. And you, my dear Tani, are the psychometrist.'

‘I'm the what?' she queried, wide-eyed, stunned by his deduction.

‘Psychometry is when you handle an object and perceive information pertaining to the object's history or previous owner,' Winter explained. ‘I have for some time been a psychometrist myself, and yet all I can tell you about this piece is that it was made in England.'

‘How do you know that?' Tani queried, mystified by his words.

‘It says so, here on the back,' Winter pointed out with a cheeky grin. ‘Obviously, you are the one who is meant to figure out this mystery.'

‘But why me?' she protested. ‘I'm not a psychic! If I were, I wouldn't be here speaking with you.'

Winter held Tani's hands to reassure her. ‘You're obviously much more clairvoyant than you give yourself credit for. Use the information the watch has given you. Follow your intuition.'

‘What information? I have nothing to go on … not even a gut instinct.' Tani appealed for more aid. ‘I cannot continue to endure this kind of sleep deprivation! I need to solve this thing quickly.'

‘Well, then …' Winter cocked an eye to have a think about it. ‘Perhaps the fob watch has been lost, or stolen and it's trying to get home.'

Tani couldn't prevent the sarcastic smile from creeping across her lips. ‘Get outta here.'

‘Laugh if you will.' His tone allowed that it might sound far-fetched. ‘But stranger things have happened. Sometimes ghosts have been known to attach themselves to objects.'

Tani glanced warily about her, finding the notion a little creepy.

Winter had another bite of his sandwich and reached for the morning paper that he had yet to read. ‘How long ago was it when you first noted the watch in the store window?'

‘Only a week or so before I bought it, and when I asked the jeweller about it, he said that he had only recently acquired it. Or at least that's what he said back in that other dimension when he acknowledged my existence,' Tani scoffed. ‘Why?' She frowned curiously and moved around behind Winter to find that he was scanning the classifieds.

‘If the watch has been lost or stolen, the authorities might have inquired around at the local dealerships to see if it was flogged off to any of them,' Winter theorised. ‘Your pompous friend might have been protecting the reputation of his business by denying he'd ever seen the piece.'

Tani considered this to be a fair explanation as to why the shopkeeper had displayed such an adverse reaction to her wanting to return it.

How do I know it's not stolen?
She recalled the antique dealer's question. Perhaps it wasn't his assessment of her character that had prompted his
rudeness, but a recent scare the jeweller had experienced? ‘Interesting,' she granted at last.