Gifted Touch (4 page)

“It’s going good,” Rae answered. “Anthony was just telling me that there were more people—

boyfriends of his mom—that he should have drawn.” Ms. Abramson nodded. “Good sharing, 31

Anthony.” She gave Rae’s shoulder a squeeze, then wandered off.

Anthony loosened his grip on his drawing, and it fluttered to the floor. Rae picked it up—

/AM I LIKE HIM?/

—and handed it over. The reception on that thought was good, she thought absently. Sometimes the thoughts were blurry, barely even clear words.

Sometimes they were practically static—like the noise that came through on an out-of-reach radio station. But this one came through distinctly.

“So, which of these guys do you think you might be like?” she blurted out.

Wait—what had she just done? Am-I-like-him was a head thing, not an out-loud thing.
You can’t do
that
,
Rae,
she lectured herself.
If you do, if anyone figures out you’re still having your brain seizures, it’s
welcome back to the funny farm.

Where the hell had she come up with that question? Anthony shot a glance at Rae. It’s what he’d been thinking about his dad when he drew the picture. He’d never met the guy—well, not that he remembered, at least. He’d been less than a year old when his dad bolted. But he’d always wondered if they had stuff in common. Which might be cool since he definitely didn’t want to be like anybody 32

else in his family.

“I’m not like any of them,” Anthony mumbled.

He wished they weren’t sitting so close together.

Every breath he pulled in smelled like oranges. No, grapefruit. Who wore grapefruit perfume? It made the back of his throat itch.

“What about your dad?” Rae leaned forward and studied the drawing. “Don’t you ever wonder if you’re like him? I mean, I’m always wondering if I’m like my mom.” Rae suddenly grabbed a crayon and began adding more petals to her freaky flower.

“He was a sperm donor. That’s it,” Anthony answered. He definitely wasn’t going to spill his guts about how much he wished he could meet his friggin’

daddy and then go live with him and—Anthony didn’t allow himself to finish the thought. Way too pathetic. Besides, Rae wasn’t even listening. She’d asked him a question, then started coloring away without even bothering to pretend she wanted to hear the answer.

“Okay. Flower. What’s the deal?” he asked. He reached over and snatched the crayon out of her hand so she’d have to pay attention.

“I don’t believe that you think of him as just a sperm donor,” Rae said, finally meeting his gaze with her blue eyes.

“Good for you. Now I’m asking the questions,” Anthony told her. “That flower is not normal. It’s like 33

out of a sci-fi movie. And is it attacking her—I mean you—or what?”

“It’s just a flower,” Rae answered. She folded her drawing in half so he couldn’t see it.

“Bull,” Anthony shot back.

Rae leaned closer to Anthony, getting right in his face. The grapefruit scent filled his lungs, grapefruit mixed with shampoo, and kind of a warm-skin smell.

“And sperm donor isn’t bull?” she challenged.

He didn’t answer. She didn’t say another word.

And neither of them blinked.
Fine,
he thought.
She
wants to have a stare down. Fine.

Before either of them won the battle of the eye-balls, Abramson gave a couple of claps. “Good work, everyone,” she called from the center of the circle. “I want all of you to bring your drawings home. Take a little time before next group to study them. You may be surprised about what insights occur to you.” Rae jerked her chair back around so it was facing Abramson. Anthony hauled his around, too, the metal chair legs squealing on the floor, then he folded up his drawing and jammed it into one of the front pockets of his jeans.

“It’s time to go around the circle and hear how everyone’s doing,” Abramson announced. “Let’s start with David today.”

Anthony obediently looked across the circle at 34

David, but his thoughts kept circling around to his dad, thanks to Rae and her stupid questions.

A couple of years ago he’d actually tried to find his father. At least he’d asked his mom some stuff.

She’d started getting all teary, so he’d backed off and tried doing some Internet searches instead. But he didn’t have enough info to track the sperm donor down.

“Anthony, do you have some feedback for Julia?” Ms. Abramson asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Man, she always knew when he wasn’t paying attention. It was like she had radar or something.

“I think Julia needs to treat herself as well as she treats other people,” Anthony answered, parroting what Abramson said to Julia practically every other session.

“I agree,” Ms. Abramson said.

Anthony suppressed a smile.
Got away with it.

Yeah.

“Your turn, Rae,” Ms. Abramson went on. “Just tell us how your life is going, what’s coming up for you, anything you feel like sharing.” Anthony turned toward Rae. She sat up a little straighter and folded her hands in her lap. He couldn’t help snorting at the good-little-girl pose, which earned him a head shake from Abramson.

35

“Well, I’ve only been out of the hospital a few days,” Rae said. “I start back to school tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. I mean, I love Sanderson Prep.

I think it will really help me to get back in my old routine and see my friends and everything.”
What bull.
Anthony managed not to snort again.

“Any other feelings about going back?” Ms.

Abramson asked.

She knows it’s bull, too
, Anthony thought.

Rae used both hands to push her curly hair away from her face. She raised her eyes to the ceiling, as if she were looking for an answer graffitied up there.

“I’m a little nervous, I guess,” she said finally. “But I know I’m ready.”

Total bull.
Anthony waited for Abramson to call her on it. But she didn’t.

“We’ll all be eager to hear how your first couple of days went at our next session,” Ms. Abramson said.

“That’s it for today. I’m sorry we didn’t get around the whole circle. We’ll make sure we get to everybody we missed next time. And if anybody needs me, feel free to call.” She handed Rae a card. “That has my home number on it and the number here. It’s never too early or too late.”

Anthony didn’t even get the chance to stand up before Jesse was in front of him. “Got a new skateboard. Want to see it? It’s at reception. They wouldn’t 36

let me bring it in.”

I have three little brothers. I really don’t need another
one,
Anthony thought. But Jesse was basically cool.

“Sure,” he said. “I’ve just got to take a leak. I’ll meet you up there.” He grabbed his jean jacket and headed for the door. When he stepped into the hall, he saw Rae up ahead of him.

“Hey, new meat,” he called out, without exactly deciding to do it first. “Rae or whatever.” She turned around but didn’t take a step toward him.
Trying to do her a favor and she has to be all
snotty,
he thought as he headed up to her. But she had been decent when Abramson came up to them during that drawing exercise, so he kind of owed her one.

“If you want to be able to stop coming to our little parties anytime soon, you’re going to have to start giving it up in group,” he told her.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“I’m talking about how you’re looking forward to going back to school and seeing all your friends. I’m talking about bull. Didn’t you see Abramson’s face?

She wasn’t buying it,” Anthony answered.

Rae pulled the straps of her purse higher on her shoulder. She opened her lips, like she was about to say something, then snapped them closed.

“If you want out, you’re going to have to put on the show. Talk about your
feelings.
Crying a little 37

wouldn’t hurt.”

Rae didn’t say thanks. Didn’t say anything. Okay, payback was over. If she didn’t want to listen, forget it. He swung his backpack over one shoulder and started past her.

“It wasn’t bull,” she called out.

Anthony turned around to face her. “Oh, come on.

We’re talking school. You’ve got to know everyone’s going to be talking about you on the first day back, staring at you, wondering if you’re going to go nuts again. Somebody’ll probably ask if they gave you electric shock.”

The muscles in Rae’s throat started to work.
She
knows it’s true,
Anthony thought.
She knows she was
feeding us a line in group.

“That’s not how it’s going to be,” Rae insisted, but her voice came out husky, and Anthony thought he saw a sheen of tears in her blue eyes.

Great,
Anthony thought.
This is what I get for
trying to help somebody out. In another minute she’s
going to be blubbering, and I’ll have to deal with it.

He twisted his head to the side, trying to crack his neck. “Look, I’m not exactly jumping for joy at the thought of going back to school myself. In fact, knowing I’m going to have to be there tomorrow makes me want to puke. It’ll suck for you. But you’ll live.”

38

Rae’s chin came up. “I really don’t need advice from a guy in a Backstreet Boys T-shirt,” she lashed out. At least she didn’t sound like she was about to bawl anymore.

“Fine. Stay in group till you’re eighty. I was just trying to help you out,” Anthony told her. His arms were itching to cross themselves over his chest and block out as much of the Backstreet Boys T-shirt as possible, but he didn’t want to give Rae the satisfaction. How could he have forgotten to turn the T-shirt inside out when he left the house? He’d had to wear it—his little sister would have had hysterics if he hadn’t because it was her birthday present to him. But he hadn’t meant to actually be seen in it.

“Sorry,” Rae muttered, surprising him. He’d have bet she didn’t even know the word. She met his gaze directly, and he realized that they were almost exactly the same height. At least she wasn’t taller. “And thanks, I guess,” she continued. “But you’re wrong about school.”

“Ten dollars,” Anthony said.

“What?” Rae asked.

“Ten dollars says
you’re
wrong,” Anthony told her. “You can pay up at the next session.” 39

Chapter 2

S
omebody’ll probably ask if they gave you
electric shock.
Rae shook her head as she rinsed the conditioner out of her hair. She twisted the hot water knob to the right until the shower was as hot as she could possibly stand it.

Loofah. She needed the loofah. She reached up and snagged it off the little ledge under the high bathroom window, then squirted on a line of her new bath gel and started to scrub her shoulders.

Somebody’ll probably ask if they gave you electric
shock.

Rae scrubbed harder, straining to reach the center of her back. She’d already washed her hair three times and conditioned it twice. She pushed down on the loofah, really working it.

41

Somebody’ll probably ask if they gave you electric
shock.
She could feel the thick fibers of the loofah doing their job.
Use some muscle,
she ordered herself, grinding the loofah into her skin.

More gel. That’s what she needed for truly flaw-less skin. She grabbed the tube and positioned the loofah underneath it. “Oh God,” she whispered.

“Oh my God.” The loofah was streaked with blood.

She could even see tiny pieces of skin caught in the fibers.

Rae’s knees buckled, and she sat down hard on the tile floor of the shower. She rocked back and forth as the water turned from hot to ice cold.
How could I
have done that to myself?
she thought. It was . . .

insane. A new kind of insane. She’d really hurt herself. And if she could do that—Rae forced herself to complete the thought. If she could do that, she could do anything. What if next time she picked up a razor blade instead of a loofah?

“It would be better than what happened to Mom,” Rae whispered. “I can’t live the rest of my life in a hospital. I won’t.”

A knock came on the bathroom door. “I’ll be out in a minute, Dad,” she called, her voice cracking.

“It’s not Dad. It’s Yana. And I have Krispy Kreme doughnuts.”

Get it together, Rae,
she ordered herself. Yana 42

Savari was a friend. Sort of. She’d been a volunteer at the hospital. And even though she and Yana were almost the same age and everything, volunteer-patient friendship wasn’t exactly a friendship. If Yana saw her in crack-up mode, she’d probably report it to Rae’s doctor. For Rae’s own good.

Rae scrubbed her face with her hands. Then she used the slick, wet wall of the shower for balance as she struggled to her feet. “One sec, Yana,” she called.

She pulled in a deep breath, then stepped out of the shower and dried off as quickly as she could, wincing when the towel touched her tender back. “One sec,” she called again. She slipped on her cotton robe, then opened the door.

Yana held up the box of doughnuts and grinned. “I remembered how you were always talking about them at the walnut farm.”

Rae gave a semihysterical snort of laughter.
Get it
together,
she told herself again. “You dyed your hair,” she blurted out.

“You like?” Yana asked, holding up a few of her newly pale blond strands.

“I like,” Rae answered. “It makes your eyes look even bluer.”
Good job, Rae. Very normal sounding,
she thought. She tightened the belt on her robe. “I can’t believe you came all the way over here to bring me doughnuts.”

43

“It’s not that far,” Yana answered. “And I figured we could both use a pre-first-day-of-school sugar rush. I’m on split session, so I don’t have to be at my school until noon.”

“Um, thanks,” Rae said.