Gifts of Desire (22 page)

             
Ceann
looked up from where he sat talking to Ethan as the door burst open.
 
Ella
came in, breathless and windblown, her cheeks pink and her eyes sparkling. 
The
light from the candles above contoured her high cheekbones
and finely sculpted nose. 
His own breath caught in his throat.  She was beautiful,
and God, how he wanted her
.  She
lifted her skirts and
ran
across the hall, calling to one of the other women as she went. 

             
“Elizabeth!  I’m
so
sorry I’m late, I forgot the time.”  Laughing
and murmuring to one another
, the two women disappeared into the kitchen
together
.

             
“
Ceann
?”
 

    
Too late,
Ceann
realized he had been staring after her like a fool.
 
Damn
.
 
He turned back to Ethan.  “Aye?”

             
Ethan grinned at him.  “I was just saying how lovely
Ella
looks this evening…
I wonder where she was, that made her la
te to help the other women.  It’
s not like her, to be late to lend a hand.  Come
to think of it, where is
Colin
?
  I
don’t
think I’ve seen him all day.
”

             
E
ven though he had a feeling, no,
he
knew
Ethan was
only
baiting
him
, the bloody bastard,
Ceann
couldn’t stop the rush of anger that flowed
through him like a great river.
  The thought of
Ella
in a man’s arms, her cheeks rosy not from the night air, but from a stolen moment of passion
…
He couldn’t think.  Ris
ing too quickly from his chair so that it toppled over behind him,
he turned toward the door and went out into the night.

             
Gregor raised an eyebrow at Ethan from his seat across the table
, pointing a drumstick he was chewing on
.  “
You
keep at him like that, one of the
se times he’s going to break
your
face
.”

             
Ethan gave him a
sly
smile.  “I
know
it well, but someone has to
harass
the man.  He can’t see wh
at is right before him.
”  He tore a piece from a loaf of bread and reached for the dish of butter.
 
“
Oh n
o
, he
insists instead on
needlessly
torturing himself, like a bloody monk!
  The love of a good woman will make him a new man.  Aye, he may even smile again one day, wait and see.”

             
Gregor
snorted at that.  “If
you
say so…
I’ll be
lieve that when I see it with my
own two eyes.
  The
laird
can be as stubborn and hard-headed as any rock
I’ve known
.
”

             
Ella
finished clearing food from the now abandoned tables, nearly running into Elizabeth on her way back into the kitchen.  Eliz
abeth took the platter from her, her round cheeks curving up with a smile.
 

             
“Go!
Off with
you
.  Find that man
that stalked out in a fit of jealous rage over you
and do something about his foul temper, it would please all of us!”

             
Ella
felt her mouth fall open at the other woman’s words.

             
Elizabeth
smiled slyly
.  “Oh, come now! 
You
think I can’t
see the way
you
look at
him, and the way he watches
you
? 
Ever since you arrived, he hasn’t been himself at all. 
Our laird hasn’t
looked at any other woman that way,
and believe me there are plenty here who have tried for his attention.  But you, it’s
like he wants nothing more than to throw
you
down on the floor and…”

             
“Elizabeth!” 
Ella
chastened, but her hand flew to her mouth to cover her smile.
 
Whatever
had gotten into the women around here lately?
  She hoped it was
perhaps
catching.

             
She found
Ceann
at last, sitting alone on the
battlement
wall overlooking the loch.  The moon was full again, and she was surprised to think
she
had already been
here
a month
.
  So much could change in one month’s time.  Softly
, she moved to stand behind him
, her heart beating
far
too fast in
her chest, trying hard to remember to breathe.
 
Now she knew her task, or at least that it had to do with the beautiful man before her. 
He knew she was there, she could see his muscles tense ever so slightly, but he did not turn
to look at her
.

             
She folded her arms across her chest, shivering a little
.
  “It’s chilly, with the breeze.
What are you doing up here so late?” 

             
His lips quirked in
the
shadow of a rueful smile.  “The full moon always makes me restless”, he said.

             
She smiled.  Those had been h
er words. 
His hair was loose, and the gentle wind blew it back from his face, so that the moonlight limned the strong angles of his jaw.  His eyes held a far-away look. 
She sat down beside him
, looking up at the heavens
.
“
Have
you
ever tried wishing on a star?  They say the wish comes true, sometimes.
”

             
He scoffed, “Wishes on stars do not come true,
and
L
ord
knows
I’
ve tried.”

             
“
H
ave
you
then
? 
W
hat did
you
wish for?”

             
“Nothing and everything”.  He
turned and
gave her a smile
that did not reach his eyes
.  “
Maybe they did come true, because that’s exactly what I have.”

             
“What do
you
mean? 
You
do
have so much.  All of this belongs to you”, she gestured to the castle and lands beyond.  “
And all of these people are yours to lead and protect. 
W
hat is it, then, that you want
?”
  It was a question she desperately wanted to know the answer to.

             
He did not
respond
, but only stared at the sky as if
lost
in his own world.
 
Ella
did not heed him, but pushed on, sensing she was close
r than ever
to understanding
what was most important to her
.
 
“Why don’t
you
marry?
”  She asked softly.
 
“
Don’t
you
ever
want a wife and children?”

             
He turned to
fix her with a fierce look
,
but
his eyes
were full of
pain behind the façade of anger.  She knew
then that
she had
touched upon
the source of his
grief
.
  She could feel it
even
now, a dark storm
gathering,
though
he fought
hard
to control it.
 
“I
don’t
want to marry”, he bit out
.
  “I have no need for a wife.”

             
She knew
now
that wasn’t true
.  “But certainly
you
must want someone to…
”

             
“Why
don’t
you
just leave me alone?
”
  He ran his hands through his hair in a gesture of utter frustration. 

             
She put her hand on his arm, and felt the muscle there tense as if
her touch
had
again
burned him.
  He tried to pull away, but she held on.
  “
Because
I don’t think
you
really
want t
o be alone”, she said gently.
“
Why
don’t
you
want a wife?”

             
He stood
abruptly
and turned
to
face her, ripping
his arm
from her grip
.  His fisted
his hands
at his sides,
and
she had never seen him look mor
e f
urious.  He trembled with it, and w
hen he spoke, hi
s voice was deadly calm,
his eyes nearly black.  S
he wondered
in
a moment
of uncertainty
if she had pushed him
too
far.
 

             
“Have
you
not heard of the curse of
my
line
Ella
?
”  He stepped forward, forcing her to take a step back.
 
“
Have none of
your
new friends told
you
of my fatal flaw
? 
The reason I will forever remain alone? 
It was my father’s gift to his only son.
”  He took another step, and she retreated further.
 
“
I can never sire a
child of my own
”
,
he said in a voice filled with
rage and
anguish
,
“
and I
wouldn't
take a woman to wife
knowing
I
would never
be able to give her a babe
of her own to hold
.  Even I am not so cruel.”

             
Her eyes widened for only a second, before she reached for him again.  “
But
Ceann
…”

             
He
brushed
roughly
past her
with a low
growl
and stalked away, leaving her standing there
alone
atop the castle wall.
She was left stunned by his sudden admission, when she had been trying so hard
for so long
to learn the truth of him. 
H
e could not sire a child…
why did that matter so much to him? 
Most men she knew only cared whether they had an heir, and m
any childless couples adopted orphane
d children and were very happy…
she knew of several herself
. 
He was a man who liked children.  She had seen him many times over the past weeks, bending down to speak with one of the castle’s children, or swinging a giggling lad over his shoulder… 
B
ut wait,
had
he
said something about a
curse?
What curse? 
She
wanted badly to follow
after him,
but no, no good could come of that
in his present mood
.
  He needed some time
alone
to calm down.
  Better to find Magg
ie
.
  Maggie had been at the castle since
Ceann
himself
was a
child, she was bound to know what curse he was talking about
.