Gifts of Love (14 page)

She turned her head to regard him challengingly. “If you turn the pages for me.”

His dark gaze did not waver from hers. “All right.”

“Splendid,” Sophia exclaimed, rifling through pieces of music to find what she wanted. “It’s a pity you cannot play, Jason, otherwise I would choose something you could do together. I suspect you never had the patience for lessons, hmmm?”

He smiled. He did not point out that pianos and music lessons had not been a great concern for a family that had scratched and clawed for every penny. “Page-turning is one of my more underappreciated talents,” he said, guiding his wife to the piano bench and helping her sit. He arranged the music in front of her. “Now, Laura,” he said silkily, and she knew he was enjoying her annoyance, “when it is time for me to turn, just nod your head.”

She glared at him discreetly. “I’d rather kick your leg.”

One corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. “You’re full of surprises today,” he said. “I’m beginning to wonder if my Irish temper hasn’t rubbed off on you.”

She began to enjoy being pert with him. “My temper is entirely my own.”

“I didn’t know Bostonians had tempers.”

“They do,” she said crisply. “The slow-burning kind.”

“Better to let out their anger at once and have done with it.”

“I doubt you’d enjoy having a wife who gave vent to explosions of temper whenever she felt inclined.”

“You’re wrong,” Jason said, resting his weight on one leg and draping his forearm on the piano. A lock of black hair fell over his forehead as he stared down at her. “I’d enjoy having her very much.”

Laura’s cheeks turned apple-red. She touched her fingers to the keys and tried desperately to remember how to play. There was no possibility of getting through the piece without making countless blunders. Not when he was near—not when he was in the same
room
with her.

But somehow her hands moved, recalling the sprightly melody with ease, and she did not falter. His lean fingers turned the pages at just the right pace. And all the time she was so terribly aware of him. When he leaned close enough that his shoulder brushed hers, she felt an unfamiliar ache in her breasts.

She finished the piece with a short sigh of relief and graciously accepted compliments from Sophia and the others. Jason helped her up, his hand strong at her elbow, and someone else took her place at the piano.

“Well done,” he said.

“Thank you.” Laura wished he would take his hand from her arm. She could not help remembering what had happened earlier today, the weight of his body pressing hers into the snow, his demanding mouth teaching her things she had been innocent of.

“Why don’t you play for me at home?” he asked.

“Because I don’t wish to,” she said bluntly.

He scowled, drawing her to the side, away from the others’ observation. “Why the hell not?”

“Jason, your language—”

“Tell me why not.”

Recklessly she cast aside her fear of his temper and told him. “Because I would not like having to perform at your command, whenever you wish to be entertained, or whenever we have guests you wish me to play for like some…. some trained monkey!”

“Dammit, Laura,” he said softly, “I won’t be blamed for depriving you of something you enjoy. If you don’t feel like playing when I want you to, tell me to go to hell.”

In spite of their quiet tones, the tension between them was perfectly apparent. Laura sensed the glances being directed their way, and she straightened her spine until it resembled a fireplace poker. “I won’t be drawn into public arguments with you,” she whispered sharply. “That may be done where you come from, but it’s not done in Boston society!”

“It’s done all the time in the North End,” Jason said, relaxing a little, sliding his hands into his pockets. “And my grandparents thrived on it in County Wexford. Perhaps we should give it a try once in a while.”

She looked scandalized. “Jason, the very idea—”

“I’ll buy you an iron skillet to threaten me with. That will lend us a touch of authenticity.”

In the midst of her anger Laura felt a smile tugging at her lips. “I do not want a skillet. And I do not want to play for you.”

Jason looked at her with those disturbing black eyes, and although they were in a room filled with people, she felt as if they were alone.

As the hour grew late the guests became drowsy. They began to retire, the ladies gliding to their rooms, where maids waited to assist with the removal of bustles, petticoats, and corsets, and the brushing-out of intricate coiffures. Laura walked upstairs with Sophia while Jason remained with the men, who lingered over cigars, brandies, and unfinished conversations.

“Things seem to be going rather well,” Sophia remarked as they neared Laura’s room.

“You’re referring to the guests?” Laura asked cautiously.

“Two in particular,” came the airy reply. Sophia stopped and pressed her cheek to Laura’s. “Good night, dear.”

“Good night,” Laura replied ruefully, and went to her room, where a small, cheerful fire was burning in the grate. The bedroom was decorated in bright floral chintz patterns of coral and green, the windows draped with cream lace curtains. A light netted canopy hung over the old high-post bedstead. But what most attracted her eye was the masculine trunk in the corner of the room, opened to reveal her husband’s possessions.

She and Jason would be sharing the room. Laura remained still, while inside she felt a flurry of panic. Foolishly she had not considered the possibility until this moment. Of course they would be expected to share a bed…there were so many guests, and Sophia barely had enough rooms for all of them.

“Missus Moran?” The maid’s quiet voice broke through her scattered thoughts. “Would ye like me to help wi’ yer dress now, or—”

“Yes, do,” Laura said, still staring at the trunk. She hardly felt the tugs at the hard-to-reach fastenings that trailed down the back of her gown.

Jason would want to stay the night with her. From the way he had been behaving lately, she had no doubt of that. But he had claimed he would not force her. If she pleaded with him to keep his distance, what would he do? Certainly he would be angry, but she did not think he would hurt her.

But
would
she ask him to leave? A mixture of fear and excitement nearly made her dizzy. What if she let it happen? What had Hale said…these matters were simple…just show Jason she was willing to accept his attentions.

Am I willing?
she thought to herself. She could find no clear answer. It was up to Jason. If he approached her in a kind manner, if she could just let herself believe that he would not mock or hurt her, she would be willing.

She dressed in a white nightrail embellished with hundreds of tiny ruffles and tucks, the long sleeves and bodice ornamented with frothy lace. The white cambric wrapper she wore over the nightrail was even more elaborate, bordered with three deep lace ruffles at the hem and more lace from the wrists to the elbows.

Deciding to attend to her hair without assistance, Laura dismissed the maid with a smile of thanks. She sat at the walnut-veneered dressing table and stared into the small tilted looking glass. One by one she pulled the pins from her hair until the tangled chestnut waves fell down her back. Brushing it would take a long time, and the task was soothing in its monotony.

Laura was nearly finished with her hair when she heard a rap on the door, and her husband entered without waiting for permission. Their eyes met in the looking glass, his very dark, hers wide and green. Slowly she set the brush down. Still watching her, Jason pulled off his green-and-black-patterned waistcoat and narrow black necktie, and tossed them onto a chair.

The silence was heavy between them, the tension deepening until Laura could not bear it. With an incoherent murmur, she jerked up from the chair and strode rapidly to the door. She didn’t know where she was headed, she only knew that she could not stay there alone with him another moment.

Jason caught her easily, his arm wrapping around her waist. He pulled her quaking form against his. “No, don’t,” he whispered against her ear, his hand sliding under her hair. His palm stroked up and down her narrow back.

“Not now. Please, not tonight,” she managed to say.

“It all started with that damned wedding night,” he murmured, fondling the back of her neck. “It was all my fault.”

“No.” She swallowed and shifted against him, and his hold tightened. “I behaved like a child,” she ventured. “I—I turned you away.”

“I didn’t understand why, not at the time.”

“I was…you were…” She flushed, overwhelmed by the memory…

Their wedding day had been long and nerve-wracking and tiresome, and by the time they had retired for the night Laura was exhausted. Jason had been emotionless and matter-of-fact throughout the wedding and reception, and she wondered if he had any feelings for her at all. After allowing her time to change into her nightgown, he appeared in her room with his shoulders squared as if for an unpleasant duty. Since that was precisely what her mother had informed her was soon to follow—an unpleasant duty—Laura regarded her husband with a mixture of reluctance and alarm.

Jason had never looked as tall and overpoweringly large as he did in that moment. In order to hide her fear, she kept silent and looked away from him, her heart thumping violently as she heard the sound of his breathing. He slid one hand behind her head and the other around her rigid back. His warm, hard mouth pressed against hers for a long time, and she squeezed her eyes shut, her body frozen with confusion. She knew that something was wrong, felt that he wanted something from her that she was not able to give. His hand moved over her back and then to her breast. It was when he touched her there that she pushed him away in a quick, nervous movement. “Don’t,” she said without thinking.

His eyes narrowed in anger, as if he had been expecting the rejection. “You’ll have to get used to the idea of being my wife,” he said, and reached for her again.

This time his mouth was hurtful, and his hand roamed over her body with insulting boldness. She tolerated it for as long as she could before jerking away with a tearful plea. “Don’t touch me, I can’t bear it!”

He looked as though she had slapped him. She covered her face with her hands, her whole body shaking. It was with relief and horror that she had heard him walk out of the room and slam the door…

The episode had been repeated a few times since then, until Jason had not approached her anymore. Until tonight.

“You were so strong,” Laura whispered, “and you wanted so much. Things I didn’t understand…things I still don’t understand. I know now that you didn’t intend to frighten me, but you did. There was such a look in your eyes…” She took a trembling breath.

It was fortunate she did not look up, for the same expression was in Jason’s eyes right then, a hot glow of hunger.

“I didn’t realize how innocent you were,” he said, raising his hand to her head, stroking her flowing hair. “The mistake was mine. I was too damned impatient for you. When you stiffened and pulled away from me, I thought it was disgust you were feeling, not fear.”

“Disgust?” she echoed in bewilderment.

“Because you knew I was so far beneath you. Because you’d been forced into marriage with someone whose ancestors were nothing but peasants in the poorest country in Europe. I knew what everyone had been telling you, that I was not fit to touch—”

“No!” Impulsively she covered his mouth with her fingers. “I was not forced into marrying you,” she said in astonishment. “Did you think I had no choice?”

His blank look was her answer.

“Oh, Jason, my father gave me every opportunity to refuse your proposal! Didn’t you know that?” She smiled tremulously as she saw the shock on his face. Had he been so accustomed to prejudice from others that he had expected it of his own wife? “No wonder you made those remarks about buying me! But I was more than willing to marry you. The decision was mine to make.”

Jason pulled Laura’s hand away from his lips. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I’m not lying, Jason. It’s the truth.”

He shook his head stubbornly. “I made the bargain with your father before I proposed to you.”

“And you thought he would have made such a bargain without my consent? You thought I was merely a pawn with no say of my own?”

He scowled at her. “Yes.”

“You were wrong,” she said with a touch of impatience. “I
wanted
to marry you. For heaven’s sake, I’ve wanted to be your wife since I was fifteen years old!”

Suddenly Laura realized what she had said, and she covered her mouth with her hand. The bald declaration seemed to echo in the small room.
Don’t let him ask why
, she thought frantically,
please don’t let him ask why.

Mercifully he didn’t.

But he stared at her strangely, his black eyes seeming to read her most private thoughts. Blindly she lowered her head, and was confronted with the broad, shirt-covered expanse of his chest. He spoke softly, his mouth against her hair. “I want to set aside the past, Laura. I want to share a bed with you tonight.” The tip of his finger traced the delicate edge of her ear, causing her to shiver. “Most of all, I want you to trust me to be gentle with you.”

She had imagined and dreaded this moment for so long. Jason had never been this way with her before, so tender and careful. The choice of surrender was suddenly made easy. Tears sprang to her eyes. “I don’t know what to do,” she faltered.

“I’ll show you.”

Three

D
eftly his fingers moved among the buttons and bows of Laura’s wrapper until the garment slipped from her shoulders. Jason pushed the white cambric down her arms and over her wrists. She stood before him in her nightgown, her soft body unconstricted by stays and laces. He settled his hands on the natural curve of her waist, his senses enthralled by the scent and nearness of her.

Little by little he sank his hands into her loose hair until he was cradling her scalp. He bent his head and covered her mouth with his. Laura shivered at the masculine brandy-taste of him. The tip of his tongue coaxed her lips to part, and he kissed her as if he would never have enough, his hands easing her head back. Swaying dizzily, she reached for his waist to keep her knees from buckling. He wrapped his arms around her until her breasts flattened against his hard chest and her thighs were leaning into his. Her mouth twisted wildly, her tongue seeking his, her slim body molded to him like a second skin.

They broke the kiss at the same time, gasping roughly. Laura took advantage of his loosened arms and stepped back, clasping her hands to the center of her chest. Her heart thundered in a way she thought he must be able to hear. She glanced from Jason’s flushed face to the thrusting outline at the front of his trousers. Hastily she looked away, but not before he had seen.

“Curious? Here, come closer.” He drew her forward, tender and predatory. “Don’t be afraid.”

“No, Jason, I don’t—” She stumbled against him, and he caught one of her hands, bringing it to his groin.

Heat radiated through the cloth of his trousers, seeming to scorch her hand. She blushed and tried to pull away. He covered her hand with his own and kept it pressed against his rigid flesh.

“Have you ever seen what a man looks like?” he murmured among the wisps of hair at her temple.

She turned her hot face into his shoulder, shaking her head.

“Never spied on Hale and his friends taking a swim, or—”

“No, never.” She gave a choked laugh, still hiding her face.

A teasing note entered his voice. “You were a proper little girl.” Slowly he let go of her hand. Her fingers remained against him for a scant second, then withdrew to the safer territory of his waist.

“My mother made certain that all of her daughters were proper.”

“She wanted to keep you sheltered from men,” he said without asking.

“Well, she…has never had a good opinion of them.”

“Because of your father.”

“Yes.” Laura stared at him curiously. “Hale must have told you about that.”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“My father is a good man, a kind one. But…there have always been other women. Sometimes his involvements are merely flirtations. Sometimes they are more than that.” She shrugged helplessly. “He has always been discreet, but Mother has known for years. She says it’s to be expected that a man will be faithful to a wife for only so long. She says that most husbands will stray because…” Abruptly Laura fell silent.

“Go on.”

“I don’t think—”

“Tell me.”

She obeyed reluctantly. “Because they are creatures of a bestial nature.” Her green eyes met his. “Mother also said that you were probably more bestial than most.”

Jason grinned, knowing that of all the people who had disapproved of their marriage, Wilhemina had objected the most. “Her opinion of my character has never been a secret.” He became serious, lifting her chin with his fingers. “Do you believe what she said about unfaithful husbands?”

Her gaze skidded away from his. “I don’t know.”

His voice was very quiet. “Do you think I’ve been unfaithful to you?”

Startled, she looked up at him. Her mouth went dry. “Things have not been right between us,” she managed to whisper. “You’ve had cause to be.”

There was a flash of something vibrant, perhaps anger, in his eyes. But his hand was still gentle on her chin. “By now you should know me well enough to be certain of a few things,” he said, his gaze boring into hers. “I never lie. When I make a promise, I keep it.” Laura wanted to shrink away, but she was mesmerized by his intensity. “I took you as my wife because I wanted you and no one else. I made a vow to forsake all others. It’s been hell going to bed alone, knowing you were just a few doors away. More than once I thought about going to you and taking what was already mine.”

“Why didn’t you?” she whispered faintly.

“Pride. That and the desire for you to open your arms to me willingly.” His smile had a self-mocking quality that made her uneasy. “And so I’ve waited. And since the day we were married I’ve been planning my revenge for all the times I couldn’t have you.”

Laura turned pale at his quiet tone. “What…what kind of revenge?”

He drew closer, his hard-planed face serious, his mouth nearly touching hers. “I’m going to give you such pleasure that you’ll weep for each and every night we could have had together.” He picked her up and carried her to the bed.

The firelight spread its wavering glow throughout the room as Jason lowered Laura to the mattress and stripped back the covers. Ferociously he tore off his shirt and bent over her, his hands framing her face as he kissed her. Instinctively she adjusted her mouth to his, answering the sweep of his tongue with delicate touches of her own.

Curiously she touched the hair on his chest, trailing her fingers through the thick, springy mass. She found a thin line of silken hair arrowing down to the waist of his trousers, and she rubbed the back of her knuckle across it in a questioning touch. To her surprise, she felt Jason’s breathing turn ragged.

He growled low in his throat and sought the peak of her breast through the bodice of her nightgown. Finding the hardening tip with his mouth, he nibbled gently. Laura gave a startled cry and twisted away from him, holding her hand to her breast.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked huskily.

Her cheeks pinkened, and she shook her head.

He pulled her protective hand away, replacing it with his own, his thumb circling the throbbing nipple. As he caressed her, he stared into her eyes, watching the green depths soften with pleasure. “You’re so beautiful, Laura…I want to see the rest of you.”

She didn’t make a sound while he untied the bodice and took hold of the hem to draw it up her legs. She pressed her knees together modestly, feeling the cool air sweep over her legs…hips…waist…chest. Casting the garment aside, Jason gathered her slender body against his. When he pulled his head back to look at her, there was an absorbed expression on his face that she had never seen before. For him, too, time was suspended, and the outside world had disappeared. His kiss was relentless, flavored with desperation as he sought to make her understand how much he wanted her. Laura clasped her arms around his neck and sank her fingers into his black hair.

With a muffled groan, Jason let go of her just long enough to shed the last of his clothes. He pulled her to the mattress with him and slid his hands over her body with incredible gentleness. Her gaze wandered over him, and for a moment she couldn’t breathe as she saw his naked, fully aroused body, primitive and golden in the firelight. Pinning her between his muscled arms, he lowered his head to her breasts. He covered the point of her nipple, his tongue gliding wetly across the aching bud. “Do you like it when I kiss you here?” he murmured.

“Yes…oh, yes…”

His mouth swept over her breasts, and he used only the lightest touches of his teeth and tongue. Wonderingly he stroked the length of her neck, the vulnerable hollow between her breasts, the downy smoothness of her stomach. Laura explored his body with the same sensitive lightness, bashfully touching the hair under his arms, the lines of his ribs, the lean surface of his flanks.

His palm ventured over her knees, his fingers tracing the line between her thighs. Her legs were still clenched together, resisting as he insinuated his hand between them. “Laura,” he muttered, and she understood what he wanted. She felt the power and urgency contained in his body, the turgid length of him burning against her hip. “Laura, open to me.”

She closed her eyes tightly and parted her knees enough to allow the gliding pressure of his hand. Jason kissed her breasts, her throat, whispering that she was safe, that he would take care of her. His lips brushed against hers, coaxing them apart, and his tongue reached for hers in skillful enticement that sent every hint of fear spinning out of reach.

His fingertips trailed over her stomach and dipped into the hollow of her navel. He paused at the triangle of soft chestnut hair at the top of her thighs, playing lightly through the curling strands. She began to breathe hard as his fingers slid deeper between her legs, stroking and withdrawing. Biting her lips, she tried to hold back a moan.

In spite of the desire that raged within him, Jason smiled triumphantly at the dazed, almost unwilling pleasure on Laura’s face. He had brought that look to her eyes. He was the only man who would ever know her intimately. Watching her closely, he slid his teasing fingers inside her. She groaned with pleasure, her hands climbing up his back.

Although her caresses were unskilled, they stirred Jason to violent readiness. Wanting her too much to wait any longer, he pushed her thighs wider and lowered his body between them. He felt her tense, and he cupped her head in his hands, his lips brushing against hers. “Sweet darling…easy now,
mo stoir.
It will hurt, but only for tonight.” He positioned himself and pressed forward, gritting his teeth with the effort to be careful.

Laura clung to him, moaning his name as he sheathed himself within her. There was pain, a white-hot burning that caused tears to spring to her eyes. She writhed and tried to push him away, but he rode her movements easily. His lips drifted through the tear tracks on her face. “Easy,” he whispered. “
Gradh mo chroidhe…
you belong to me now.”

She began to relax as he cradled her in his arms, the hard force of him buried inside her. His mouth moved to her breasts, pulling gently on her aching nipples. Her heartbeat roared in her ears, and her lips parted as she breathed his name. He slid deeper within her, his hands beginning a slow sojourn over her body. The steady thrust of his hips brought pain, but she felt an urge to push up against him, and the sensation was intensely sweet.

His body surged into hers, pulled back until he had almost withdrawn completely, then surged forward again. Laura gasped as she felt the inner tension increase. Her muscles tightened, and she gripped his upper arms until her fingers were numb. Half-frightened by the unfamiliar sensations, she tried to draw back from them, but it was too late. A burst of pleasure filled her body, causing her to strain against him with an incoherent sob. Jason smothered her cries with his mouth and pressed deep within her until her shuddering ceased and she was satiated and quiet beneath him. Only then did he release his own desire, thrusting one last time and groaning with violent satisfaction.

Laura was too exhausted to move or speak. Jason rolled to his side and pulled her with him. It took the last of her strength to lift her arm around his waist. For a long time they lay with their bodies entangled and their breath mingling.

Jason was the first to speak. “You’ll never occupy a bed without me again, Laura Moran,” he said lazily. His fingers brushed away the tendrils of hair that clung to her forehead and cheeks.

A shy smile stole over her face. “Jason?” she asked, shivering as he cupped her breast in his warm hand.

“Mmmm?”

“What did those words mean?”

“Which words?”

“The Gaelic words you were saying…before. It sounded something like…” She paused and wrinkled her brow thoughtfully.
“Masthore.
And then you said something like
gramma-cree.”

Jason was frowning. “Did I say that to you?”

“Yes.” She looked at him expectantly. “What does it mean?” To her amazement, she saw a flush of color that went across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. “Jason?”

“It means nothing,” he muttered. “Just…words of affection.”

“But what
exactly
—”

He kissed her, and as he had intended, the question flew from her mind. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he said against her lips as his hands wandered from her breasts to her thighs. “I’m going to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

She laughed unsteadily, for Jason had never said anything of the kind to her before. All at once he seemed younger, the usual harshness of his face softening in the darkness, his smile almost boyish. “There’s nothing I want,” she told him.

“A golden carriage, drawn by horses with diamond bridles,” he mused, rolling to his back and swinging her above him.

Laura crossed her arms modestly over her breasts. Her long hair hung in a curtain around her. “That isn’t necessary.”

“Ruby rings for your toes…a castle with silver towers, a ship with moonlight sails to carry you across the sea—”

“Yes,” she said. “I’ll take the ship.”

“Where would you like to go?”

“Everywhere.”

Jason laced his fingers behind her neck. “Would ordinary sails do? We’ll travel anywhere you wish—perhaps spend a few months in Europe. Or the Orient.” He raised his brows suggestively. “Or the Mediterranean.”

Laura stared at him in wonder. “Jason, you’re not teasing, are you?”

“I’m being serious. We never took a wedding trip.”

“You said you couldn’t afford to leave your work.”

“I can afford it now,” he said dryly. “Where would you like to go?”

“Cairo,” she said with dawning excitement. “I’ve always wanted to see the pyramids.”

“And make an excursion up the Nile?”

She blinked in surprise. “How did you…” She frowned suspiciously. “Is there anything Hale
hasn’t
told you?”

Jason chuckled. “No. But that’s the last of your brother’s meddling. And you have my promise for a trip in the spring.”

A sweet smile curved her lips. “Thank you, Jason.”

He stared at her as if spellbound. “You can thank me another way.”