Gilda Joyce: The Bones of the Holy

 

TO: GILDA JOYCE

FROM: GILDA JOYCE

RE: SPY REPORT

 

Okay--I know snooping in someone's suitcase is wrong, but sometimes it's also necessary. My reason for spying: Mom suddenly announced that she's going on something she called a “Mom's Getaway” trip to Florida. That's right; she's heading for the beach and leaving me and Stephen behind in Michigan. I mean, I can understand leaving my older brother behind. But me?!

“You mean to tell me, you're abandoning us and heading for the Sunshine State?!” I protested. “You're leaving two defenseless teenagers to scrounge for scraps of lunch meat in the city Dumpsters, while you burn your freckles on some nude beach?”

“Very funny, Gilda,” said Mom. (I admit it: Mom is fun to tease because she never has a good comeback.) “Anyway, it's just for a short weekend,” she explained. “You'll survive without me for two days.”

Mom had a point: I've been telling her for years that I'm old enough to stay home by myself. I also knew that it wasn't really Mom's fault that I wasn't invited. Her friend Lucy had won two flights to Florida in a fund-raising raffle. Even so, I was jealous, and I wasn't about to make it easy for Mom to leave without me. “Some parents might worry about leaving two teenagers home alone,” I said.

“I'll ask Grandma Joyce to come over and check on you,” Mom replied.

I wasn't too pleased about this since Grandma Joyce has a way of turning a perfectly fun pizza-and-a-movie night into a tedious clean-up-the-whole-house night. “That's okay,” I sighed. “Grandma Joyce doesn't need to come over. We'll be fine.”

I suppose it's a little ironic that I'm jealous of Mom's trip. I guess I always assumed that if Mom ever went anywhere, it would be to somewhere boring--perhaps a bedpan-cleaning convention in Ohio or a nineteenth-century slipper museum in downtown Detroit. I never expected Mom to announce a trip down to sunny Florida without me!

Just then, the phone rang, and Mom jumped up like a jackrabbit to answer it. I noticed that she disappeared into the hallway to take the call, which seemed a little suspicious. While she was talking, I took the opportunity to peek at some of the clothes she had hidden at the bottom of her suitcase. What I saw hidden under her beach towel made me even more suspicious. NEW things. A new black bathing suit instead of her usual mom-style floral tankini-with-attached-skirt. A new sundress with matching sandals. Earrings and a necklace. A toothbrush. DENTAL FLOSS. (Okay. I guess those last items were normal enough for Mom.) Still. Mom doesn't buy new things very often since she's been saving money to help pay for Stephen's room and board at college next year. And she definitely doesn't dress up just to see her friend Lucy, whom she sees dressed in hospital scrubs practically every day of the week.

I pressed my ear against the wall, trying to hear what Mom was saying on the phone. I couldn't make out any words, but I heard the familiar nervous giggling that usually signaled a first date. I've been hearing it every few weeks, ever since Mom joined that online dating service over the summer, so I had a gut feeling Mom was talking to a man--and not just a friend either.

What is Mom up to? I wondered. What is she hiding?

“Who was that?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant when Mom returned to finish packing.

“Oh, just Lucy, reminding me to pack some sunscreen.”

“Are you SURE it was Lucy?”

“Why wouldn't it be Lucy?”

One thing I've learned in my career as a spy and sleuth: When you confront a person with something (“Did you steal my sandwich?”) and they answer your question with another question (as in, “Why would I want to steal your sandwich?”), the chances are good that they actually DID the very thing they're denying. Especially when you're dealing with an inexperienced liar like Mom.

As I stared at Mom's open suitcase, watching her nervously fold and refold clothes with her freshly manicured hands, I distinctly felt a psychic signal--that little tickle in my left ear I sometimes get when something unusual is about to happen. Sometimes it means there's spirit activity in the area. Other times, it's a premonition of danger.

I realize I have no proof, but I'm almost certain that Mom is hiding something about this trip to Florida. I just need to figure out what and why.