Girl in the White Dress: Sam's Story (9 page)

             
“Interesting. And you own this place?” I asked

             
“Kind of. Austin, my best friend from way back, wanted to start the business and needed some financial help. I like pool so I figured why not.”

             
“I see.”

             
“Well, I don’t.” It was at that moment that I realized we were both totally ignoring Danny and the very confused look on his face. “You two know each other?”

             
“Yeah, we work at the same school,” Tim said. “And we’ve hung out a few times.”

             
“Oh,” he shot Tim a look. I was an only child. I clearly just missed something important because Tim said he had to go.

             
“Ok, ready for some nine ball?” Danny asked.

             
“Sure.” I could not believe they were brothers. That was just my luck. We played a few more games and he beat me a couple of times. Then he wanted to go to the bar. As soon as we walked in, we heard someone belting out “Lost in Love” by Air Supply, badly I might add. So badly, that I only knew the song because Trinity had an obsession with Air Supply and pretty much any cheesy eighties band.

             
“You want to look at the book?” he asked.

             
I just stared at him. “Yeah, no. I am not singing. I am not that drunk,” I laughed.

             
“Uh uh. I told you that you were going to sing tonight.” He went to get the book. Son of a bitch. I saw him walk over to the karaoke guy. I was seriously going to kill him.

             
“Ok, names are in,” he said when he got back to the table.

             
“Pardon?” I was going to kill him.

             
“You heard me.” What kind of sadistic first date was this? A few more singers went up. Some were good. Some were bad. Then it was Danny’s turn. He got up and would not tell me what he was singing. I heard Bon Jovi come on. Sweet. He had better not screw this up, I thought to myself. I loved Bon Jovi. When he started singing, I was surprised yet again. He seemed to be full of surprises. Tim came over to sit with me. I did not realize he was still there. It was only a little strange, since I was on a date with his brother.

             
“So, you and Danny, huh?”

             
“First date,” I said. “But he’s great.”

             
“Yeah he is. Just don’t break his heart. Or I will have to personally kick your ass.”

             
I laughed. “I’d like to see you try.”

             
“Would you like me to run into you again?”

             
I flinched remembering the bruise on my ass from that day. “No, that’s ok.”

             
Danny finished the song and came to sit back down. He shot Tim another look. Tim stood up and said, “I will leave you two alone.” I very much needed a sibling decoder.

             
“Ok,” Danny said. “You’re up after this person.”

             
I gazed daggers at him. “I know I couldn’t possibly have heard you correctly.”

             
“You did. And you can’t not get up to do it.”

             
“Why not?”

             
“Because secretly you know you want to sing.”

             
“Oh really? You know me that well already?” Part of me wanted to kill him and part of me knew he was right. I loved karaoke but when I was drunk and did not remember it. I was definitely still quite sober and would most likely embarrass myself. “Ugh, fine. What am I singing?”

             
“Now that, I can’t tell you.”

             
“And why not?”

             
He smirked. “Because that’s no fun.”

             
I could not actually be mad at him because, in all honestly, I would have done the same thing. We were a lot more alike than I would have guessed. The woman singing “Black Velvet” was done and it was my turn. I could already feel myself turning red.

             
I was standing in front of the prompter and heard someone yell, “Go Sam!” Danny was a dead man. As soon as the music came on, I wanted to laugh. Karaoke to Britney Spears. Priceless. “Hit Me Baby One More Time” could not have been a better song. My rendition was sad but that was ok. I rocked it.

             
I went to sit back at the table and only saw Tim. “Are you ok?” he asked.

             
“Fan – freakin –tastic. Where is your brother?” I demanded. “I’m going to kill him.”

             
He laughed. “He went to get you another drink. He figured you would need it.”

             
“Good boy.”

             
Danny came back to the table and Tim cleared out. The rest of the night was fun. We ended up shooting some more pool before we left. He drove me back to the dorm and was a gentleman and walked me upstairs. I actually did not want the date to end.

             
“I had a nice time, Danny.” How cliché.

             
“Even with the singing?” he asked.

             
I smiled. “Yes, even with the singing.”

             
“Good.” Now was the usual time awkwardness sets in on a first date. I was waiting for that standard awkwardness but there was not any. He leaned in and went for the kiss. Wow, he was confident. His lips were soft. Damn, he was an awesome kisser. He pulled back slowly. “Goodnight, Sam.”

             
“Goodnight, Danny.” He turned and walked back to his dorm. I took a second before I went in because I knew Trinity was waiting up for me. I could not believe how much fun I had with him and how totally different he was from what I first thought.

             
I opened the door and, sure enough, Trin was right there waiting. “Hi,” I said.

             
“Hi, so?”

             
“So what?”

             
“Sam! How was the date?” I filled her in on the details. I also admitted that it was not horrible and that I hoped he would call me again.

             
“I knew it!” she said. “But back to an important detail. He’s Tim’s brother?”

             
“Uh huh. Weird, right?”

             
“Completely.”

             
I looked at the time. “I need to go to bed. Feel free to get Danny’s view in class.”

             
“You know I will. Night, sweetie.”

             
“Goodnight, crazy lady.”

              That night I slept well. I kept thinking of Danny and how amazed I was that I had a good time. When I woke up, I was dreading that evening with Matt. I had finally taken a step in the right direction in getting over him. Clarification on “right direction”? Well, those two months that I had skipped over in detail previously included some pretty bad behavior. I had met a few guys online, which was not too smart. There were a couple that I dated very briefly, but I was being far too sexually active. I was a mess and was doing whatever it took to make me happy. So, you can see why dating a nice normal guy would be the right direction to be going into. Of course, this one was not going to be without complications. I had a crush on his brother. (Yes, I finally admitted that to myself.) Nevertheless, I was hoping that would not become an issue. Besides, at this point who knows if Danny was even going to call me.

             
I had a voicemail from Matt about where to meet. I saw him call but refused to answer. I loved caller ID. He, of course, picked the restaurant that we always went to. Bastard.

             
I was getting ready for dinner or whatever with Matt all the while replaying our relationship in my head. The biggest mistakes were him leaving and me thinking he would keep it in his pants. I took a deep breath. I did not want to go into this angry. I was tired of being angry. All the nights cooped up “studying”. Most nights I was hiding and writing. I did not want to admit I was depressed. I was still fun loving and happy Sam on the outside but on the inside, I was miserable. I realized last night that I was missing out on life. Danny was a great guy and I had a lot of fun. Tonight was going to give me, me back.

             
I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked fabulous. Fortunately, for me, Trinity was at Derek’s for the night and Miranda and Kiley were upstairs so I would not have to explain myself to anyone. I arrived at The Rose Café about five minutes early. Well, there was a first, I thought. I was the type that would be late for their own funeral.

             
I did not see Matt yet so I went to the bar to get a drink. Liquid courage was definitely in order. I was just about to take a sip when I saw Matt come through the door. He looked gorgeous. Bastard. Yes, I was aware that word often comes out when Matt’s name was mentioned and no, I did not have anger management issues. He was supposed to look like I felt, like crap. He spotted me staring. So much for having the upper hand. At least I looked fabulous.

             
“Hi, Sam.”

             
“Hi.”

             
“Do you want to go grab a table?” he asked.

             
I scoped out the room. Of course, the only table conveniently available was the romantic one in the back of the room. I had clearly done something in a past life to piss someone off. “Sure.”

             
We made our way to the “romantic” table. Matt ordered us drinks. I had downed my vodka and cranberry the moment he walked through the door.

             
“Ok,” I said. “You wanted to talk, so talk.”  I did not want to leave myself any chance to get soft.

             
“That’s it?” he said. “No, hi how are you?”

             
“Hi, how are you? Now talk.” I could not be weak.

He looked hurt. Good. I did not
care how he was. Ok, that was a lie. I did care. Although, it was only if he was hurting like hell. “Ok…”

“You’re lucky I even agreed to this, Matt.”

“I know,” he took a moment. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

Dude, seriously?
I stood up and made a motion towards the door.

“Wait,” he said.

“Wait? That’s all you had to say? I’m sorry?” Pathetic. “Bye.” I took a step towards the exit.

“Sam, please sit down.” Out of my better judgment, I sat. He continued, “I’m sorry I hurt you.
I am sorry I fucked up. I am sorry about Kelly. I am sorry I left. I miss you. I miss us. I feel so empty without you. I realize that I was stupid.” Well, stupid was an understatement.

             
I was fuming. Did he really think that was going to make things better? “You miss us? How dare you even say you miss me! You broke my heart, Matt. You shredded it into tiny pieces.” No sense in sugar coating it. “Because of you I cried myself to sleep for weeks. Because of you, I hid from my friends so they could not see the pain I was in. But you miss me. Is that supposed to make it all better?” I wanted to hit him. Ok, maybe I did have anger management issues.

             
“No, not better. I truly did not mean to cause you pain. I know I screwed up. I will do better, Sam. I will be better. I still love you.”

             
I just stared at him. The audacity. Was he serious? I did not know what shocked me more. The fact he wanted to try again or the fact that I did not. He broke me and somewhere in the past few miserable months, I fixed me. I looked at him. “Matt, it is over. What we both should have realized was that the moment you got on that plane it was over. You chose your career over us and I am ok with that now. Then you chose Kelly over us and that I am not ok with. I am not going to waste anymore of myself on you. Bye, Matt.”

             
I turned and walked out of the restaurant with my head held high. I probably should not have but I peeked over my shoulder and he just watched me walk away. That just made me happier with my decision. If he really still loved me, he would have chased me out of the restaurant. On the other hand, maybe he was just in shock that I basically told him to go to hell. Either way, it was over.

             
Now my only problem was that I was all dressed up with nowhere to go. It was still somewhat early. I decided to go to the pool hall and see if Danny was there. I was in the mood for some more of him. He made me genuinely smile.

             
I pulled up and did not see his car. Maybe he was there with friends. I went in and went straight for the bar. I was apparently becoming a lush. Well, I did not see Danny in the bar either. I was disappointed. At least I could listen to some bad singing. That had to cheer me up.