Girl to Come Home To (13 page)

And then came another tiresome song. How perfectly pestilential! Probably this was somehow a workup to get the younger boys ready for going overseas. There was no telling. But how could a thing like that help anybody to be patriotic? They ought to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” or some really patriotic song. Who in the world arranged a stupid program like this anyway? She wished they had asked her what to sing. Even though it was in a church they were entertaining a returned serviceman, weren’t they? Why go so ultra religious?

The melody was carried as a solo by an exquisite voice, but everybody seemed to know the song and the choral accompaniment of humming voices was rather wonderful.

There was not much time for Jessica to be thinking about leaving, for the program hurried along almost breathlessly, and somehow even the sneering gang
had
to listen.

Suddenly seven servicemen in uniform marched up to the platform and it was announced that instead of having the scripture read, these seven men would recite it, as each had experienced it overseas.

Then each spoke, with heartfelt accents, what was evidently a truth each had felt.

“The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. Psalm 34:7,” said the first, a tall marine.

“We will rejoice in thy salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners: the Lord fulfill all thy petitions. Now know I that the Lord saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:5–7.” This was the word of a corporal in the army.

Then came a private on crutches, his face emaciated, his skin sallow, his eyes with haunting memories hidden by a great light. It was whispered about among the audience by some who recognized him that he had recently escaped from a prison camp after two years’ confinement, and his contribution, spoken in a clear, ringing voice was, “Praise the Lord, O my soul … The Lord looseth the prisoners. Psalm 146:1, 7.”

Next came two navy men. The first a tall fellow with a clear voice and many decorations, and he spoke a ringing word like a testimony: “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. Psalm 91:1–3.”

Then, without a pause, his companion went on, “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

“Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day. Psalm 91:4–5.”

Then followed a young army officer. In a steady voice, like an official oath he was taking, he said, “In Thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou has redeemed me, O Lord God of truth. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies…. Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:1, 5, 15, 24.”

And next came a navy flier with a kind of ringing triumph in his voice: “I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1–2.”

“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8.”

The gang in the gallery listened astonished. They could not laugh, they could not sneer, for those words were too solemnly, too earnestly spoken, from men who obviously had been but lads so short a time ago. They bore marks in their faces of having been through fire and flood and death, and even worse than death. For just an instant, while those boys were speaking, even Jessica got a little glimpse of what the war must have meant to these men who but recently were to her just so many more to dance and flirt with. Now they were living souls who had been through something of which she had no concept. She was frightened. Her impulse was to turn and flee, but she had not the courage to do it.

And then there came another surprise. Another soldier in uniform stepped up beside the seven, and they all began to sing, a double male quartet.

The voices were beautiful, and the words were distinct. The audience was very still as the singing went on to the end. Then very simply the pastor of the church introduced Jeremy, not giving his history nor a list of his great achievements in the war. His decorations could tell that tale to those who understood.

Jerry stepped forward quietly and began to talk:

“I asked the fellows to sing that song for me,” he said, “because it was a verse of that song that came to help me when I started out on my first bombing mission. Up to then I hadn’t been greatly stirred by the things I had been through. I had rather enjoyed it all while in training, and I hadn’t been in any serious fighting. I knew my duty, and it hadn’t seemed to me anything very difficult to do as I had been trained. The element of fear hadn’t been in it yet for me. Not until I was in my seat ready to go out on my first serious mission did I realize that I was going into possible death.

“Of course when I enlisted, I saw by the expressions on the faces of my family that there was dread and fear ahead for them. But I laughed at them and went on my way, enjoying every hard thing that came my way. My mother was brave and courageous. She never voiced her fears. She did not try to dissuade me. ‘We are putting you in God’s hands, son,’ she said with that sweet, patient look in her eyes. That was Mother. I expected cooperation from Dad and Mother.

“Oh, there had been prayers for me every night and morning in the few days before I left, and I listened to them as if they had been unnecessary farewell presents to bear me on my way. My family had always prayed for me, and I would be sure they would now as I was going off to war. We always had family worship, morning and evening in my home, and sometimes as a little kid it had rather bored me, but that last morning, it seemed the right and fitting thing. My father always read a passage of scripture and prayed, and sometimes, when we had more time, we sang a hymn. That morning I went away we sang that song the boys just sang.

“I remember when we reached the second verse that somehow those words seemed written for my mother, and I felt she was singing them to herself, although all our voices were joining in.

“Those words stuck in my memory, and for an instant I had a brief vision of the night my older brother went away to war, and I had a passing sympathy for what Mother must have suffered during the months he had been away. Now she was having to take it again! But she was brave, and she would stand up and trust, with that wonderful faith of hers. A gallant little mother. And a father with a strength and a faith like a rock.

“So I went out.

“I didn’t have any fear then. I think I must have supposed that when
I
got into the war, that would end everything. But it didn’t take me long to find out my mistake. Nevertheless, I went through the preliminaries, thrilled with the enormity of the undertaking to save the world for peace and prosperity. And it was not until I was seated in my bomber, awaiting the word for me to start out on my first solo mission, that I began to realize what it all might mean. Oh, I had been out with others, I had watched some battles, I had seen some of my comrades fall, but as yet I had no fear that it could come to me. Death? Why, I was young and strong. I was
trained
. I had courage to go right among the enemy and down them. Of course I didn’t exactly say that to myself when I started.

“Now I couldn’t understand this feeling of fear that had come over me. It was like the time when I began to play football and I saw the other side rounding up against me. Suddenly I found that I hadn’t experience in meeting just such a setup as was coming, and I began to quake. How I despised myself. Then I was just a sissy after all. Afraid to go out and fight. Me! Jerry Graeme!

“Then strangely there seemed to come to me a strain of a song. But it was very far away, like all my old courage that I had always been so proud of. And then at that instant came the signal to start, and I
had
to go. I must not be an instant behind.

“I started. My hands did the things that they had been trained for; my brain out of habit directed my actions, but I was going out all alone with nothing but the strain of a hymn to give me heart:

“But it was so far away, as if it scarcely belonged to me, as if it were a song out of some other fellow’s memories. But my mind grasped out for it, to make it mine. ‘Thy God doth undertake.’ Would God undertake for me? I had always supposed of course that God was on my side. But now I wasn’t so sure. I began to go over my life, swiftly. There wasn’t much time to take stock of one’s self then, but I had heard that when a person faces sudden death his whole life in every little detail comes over him in a flash, and it was so with me. I thought I had been fairly good, no sin, except the original sin I had been born with and taught about. Or was that true, no sin? Well, suddenly I wasn’t so sure. I had lived a clean, moral life. Yes, but was that enough to help me meet God if I had to go at once into His presence?

“It was almost as if I were talking the matter over with God, presenting my claims to enter His presence.

“ ‘I’ve always gone to church? Why, I
like
to go to church. Of course I’m a
member
of the church!’ But still that did not seem to make things any better or give me any comfort. Well, I wasn’t a liar or a thief. I had never killed anyone, no, nor hated anyone enough to
want
to kill them. I began to count over the cardinal sins, and my estimate of self began to bulk up before me, but none of those things seemed to count, and then I remember that my mother used to teach me that the one great sin that included all others was unbelief. But even that was not my sin—
was
it? I had grown up knowing the Bible, believing in God, that is, in God with my mind. I believed what God had done, I believed that Jesus Christ had lived and then died for me. I had accepted all that a sort of a formula of doctrine. I believed He was the Son of God and that He not only died but had risen from the dead. I knew and believed that when Christ died He took my sins upon Himself as if they had been His own, He who never sinned Himself, and that He bore the sins, as well as the penalty for my sins. I could remember that when I united with the church they had asked me if I would accept what He had done and take Him for my personal Savior, and I had assented. Quite casually it must have been, or so it seemed to me as I rode along in God’s air, about to come into His actual presence, perhaps, and I didn’t feel ready. I just didn’t
know
the Lord. Oh, I had prayed and read my Bible, but now it began to seem to me that it had all been almost nothing but a mere form, done because it was the thing a Christian was supposed to do. And my heart quaked within me.

“I began to see planes ahead of me. I would soon be at the scene of my first great activity, and I was so engaged with thinking that I didn’t know God and might be going right into His presence that I couldn’t seem to keep my mind to the duties that were before me.

“And then, suddenly, as the critical situation approached, I felt I was not alone. A Presence was there beside me. There was glory in the air. And then I realized it was the Lord. He had come to me in my need! And I felt a sudden strength, and the fright that had made me weak before went away. I looked into His face and I was not afraid anymore. ‘Don’t be afraid, I will go with you,’ He said, and His voice was clear, in my heart. And I wondered why I had never taken such joy and strength from Him before. Then I realized that I had never really looked into His face. I had not seen Him before. I had not
known
Him. But now I knew Him
Himself
, and I could do
any
thing. That is, anything He wanted me to do. I could accomplish my mission. I could crush the enemy. And if it meant I was to meet my death, too, it would not matter, for I would be with Him, either in life or death, with Him forevermore!

“The enemy was all but upon me then, the sky was full of the sound of battle, but I was not afraid because God was with me, and He was undertaking. One swift resolve I made, and that was that if I went through this war and ever got home, I would go to all the fellows who were going over pretty soon and would tell them that they must get acquainted with God before they went. It made no difference how much they were trained or how skillful they were in the use of the implements of war, if they didn’t know God, their preparation was not complete, for only in the strength of the Lord Jesus Christ could they be fully prepared to do the best that a serviceman could do. And that is the message I am bringing to you tonight. If there is only one fellow here tonight who is pretty soon going out to the great fight, my message is to you. Get acquainted with the Lord Jesus Christ,
now
while there is time. Get to know Him so well that there will be no fear in your heart no matter what situation you may be called upon to go into. But there is one thing about it, once you have seen Him with the eyes of your believing heart—and you cannot help but believe in Him when you have
met
Him—once you have seen Him you can never be afraid anymore of anything that your enemy the devil in the form of evil men and arms can do to you.”