Girls from da Hood 11 (19 page)

I had been gone all day. I knew when I left that I wasn't coming back within the hour because I didn't want to see Monica moping around all day long, crying and fussing about the things I'd done. I'd be the first to admit that when it came to relationships, I wasn't shit. I was a dog. I didn't always treat women the way in which they wanted or needed to be treated, and I definitely had some work to do. Thing is, I didn't have the time to give no bitch what she really needed in her life. I made that clear to everybody, that's why I didn't understand why I kept catching hell all of the time. All they said they ever wanted was the truth. But when a nigga told them the truth, they weren't trying to hearing it.

For a long time, Monica kept her mouth shut. But things were starting to change and I didn't like it. That's what made me stay at Keysha's house the other night. That was a big mistake. All that did was make her think there was hope between us. Truthfully, there wasn't. All I wanted to do was take care of Keith and be done with it. But Keysha acted as if the two of them came as a package. Just because I didn't want her, that didn't mean I didn't want him. Sometimes, I felt like taking my kids and running away from all of these bitches. If I didn't have to deal with my kids' mamas, I would run in a heartbeat. But someway or somehow, I did have to deal with them. There was no getting around it.

After I left Porsha's house, I stopped by to chat with Papa James about how to handle everything on our trip. He had been planning this for months so I wanted everything to go smoothly. I was more than ready to do whatever I needed to do to add more paper to our stack. The moment I left Papa James' crib, that's when Porsha had called me. I was in shock that Keysha had been to see her, but even more in shock when I called home and Monica told me Keysha had stopped by there too. When Monica told me she was the one who sent Keysha to Porsha's crib, I was outdone.

“You shouldn't have done that,” I said. “Is it hard for you to mind your own business?”

“You are my business, Tremaine, and that's my problem. I can't do this anymore. You think it's totally okay for you to be out there in the streets doing whatever the hell you want, while I stay here with the kids all day doing nothing. And now that Porsha is pregnant, all you're going to do is tell me to accept it and flaunt your new baby around over here. You must think I'm some type of damn fool, and why don't you respect me enough to know that this is wrong? You say you love me, but love shouldn't feel like this. This material shit is not enough for me to turn a blind eye and pretend that none of this is happening.”

“I know you're upset, but you already know the deal with me. If you're at your breaking point, I can't do anything about that. If you feel as though it's time for you to walk, then do it. Like I said earlier, I'm not going to stop you or hold you back. All I want you to do is make time for me to see my kids. That's all I want you to do, because, truthfully, nothing else really matters.”

I could hear Monica sniffling over the phone. “How can you say this? How can you be so cold and act like you don't care? I've given you years and years of my life, Tremaine. And now you're talking like you don't care about us anymore.”

“I do care, ma, but I'm not going to cry about your decision to walk away from me. I'm not going to change who I am, and I'm not going to accommodate nobody's situation but my own. You want to speak on our years together, but over the years, Monica, I've given you everything. Anything you ever wanted, all you've had to do was ask for it. I tried to show you that I love you more than anyone, and even though I may do my thing in the streets, I always come home to you. The bitches who I fuck with know who I love. They know that when I do settle down, I'll eventually be with you. Unfortunately, my clock is different than yours. What you want right now, I can't give it to you. I'm sorry, but if the love I'm offering ain't enough, what else can I do?”

“It's not enough. Good-bye, Tremaine. I called Vivica to come over here and watch Keith and Lamar. By the time you get here, I'll be gone. I'll call you in a few days to let you know where I'll be. I promise not to keep your kids from you, but understand that I need time to sort things out.”

I was hurt that Monica was leaving, but I wasn't about to plead and beg her to stay. As I sat silent over the phone, a call beeped in. When I looked to see who it was, it was Keysha calling. I ignored her calls, but she kept calling back.

“Hold on,” I said to Monica. “Don't hang up and don't go anywhere, all right?”

I clicked over. “Let me hit you back later.”

“No need,” she snapped. “Why didn't you tell me you were fucking with Porsha and that she was having your baby?”

My face twisted from hearing her loud voice. “Man, I don't have time for this. I said let me hit you back.”

“And I said you're a low down, dirty-ass nigga! You ain't shit Tremaine, I swear yo' ass ain't nothing!”

“I agree. Now, good-bye.”

I clicked back over, but Monica had hung up. When I tried to call her back, she wouldn't answer. Then I couldn't dial out at all because Keysha's calls kept coming through, back to back.

“What!” I shouted into the phone. “We both agreed that I'm not shit, so what else do you want!”

“Why?” she said. “Why in the hell would you go behind my back and screw my friend? Then to get her pregnant was foul! Didn't you know I would find out? What were you going to say to me then, Tremaine?”

“Honestly, I really didn't care. I don't care about none of this, Keysha, and now that you know Porsha is pregnant, maybe you'll be gone and you'll stop fucking harassing me all the goddamn time.”

“Nigga please. I'm never going to stop harassing you, and as long as you're Keith's daddy, I intend to make your life a living hell. As for you and Porsha's baby, you can forget about that shit. There won't be no baby because I just went to her house and beat that muthafucka out of her. By now, she may need your help, so I suggest you get back over there and go see about that bloody bitch.”

I couldn't believe this was happening right now. I had just gotten off the phone with Porsha and everything sounded all good. No matter what was going on, everything had to wait. I had to go home and see what was up with Monica before I did anything else. I didn't want her to leave with my kids. I had a feeling that if she jetted, it would be a long time before I saw them again.

“I hope to God that you're lying. If you did anything like that to Porsha and her baby, you know you're going to jail don't you? If you do, what is Keith going to do? You need to calm the fuck down, Keysha, and think about shit before you act.”

“Don't worry about Keith. I got him all taken care of, me and his daddy both. And surprise, surprise, Tremaine. His daddy is not you. All I ever wanted was your damn paper, along with some of your dick. Now that I've gotten enough of that, feel free to bring my son back home. We're done with you now. With all these kids you got, yo' ass gon' be too broke to support us.”

I didn't know if Keysha was bullshitting or not. But by now, sweat beads dotted my forehead, my palms were sweating as I gripped the steering wheel, and my heart was racing. There were plenty of times when I felt as if Keith didn't look like me. Plenty of times when Papa James questioned me about him, and my boys insisted that he wasn't my son. But I didn't want to believe it. I had made a real connection with Keith that I didn't want to let go of.

“Keysha, you're playing with fire. If you've lied to me out of spite and for money, I swear I'm going to kill you. Why in the fuck would you put Keith in the middle of this, huh?”

“He's not in the middle of anything. And if he is, he won't be for long, daddy. You can threaten to kill me all you want to, but come morning, there will be a restraining order against you. Don't come near me, and what you can do is drop my son back off at my mama's house where you got him. After that, our little deed is done. Good riddance to you, and thanks for playing the fool for years! Sucker!”

Keysha hung up, causing a rage of fury to lock in my eyes. I wanted to turn around and go beat her motherfucking ass. I also wanted to go see about Porsha too, but Monica first. I had to get to Monica then I would see what was up with this situation with Keith then Porsha.

With my mind racing a mile a minute, I slammed on the accelerator, causing my sports car to go faster. By the time I hit the highway, I was going way over a hundred miles an hour. My car whipped through traffic, but all of a sudden a slow pickup truck jumped right in front of me. I slammed on my brakes, but by then it was too late. The impact was so powerful that my car flipped over and my body went straight through the windshield. My eyes fluttered and all I remembered seeing was a cloud of thick white smoke. The smell of burnt rubber filled my nostrils and my entire body was numb. After that, darkness hit me.

All day, every day. The loud beeping sounds was all I could hear. I couldn't move, couldn't talk, and couldn't even open my eyes. Then again, if I strained hard enough, I could open them. My vision was blurred and my mouth was so dry that I could taste blood in the cracks of my lips. I tried to wiggle my fingers, but nothing happened. Attempted to turn my head, but it stayed still. Above me was a squeaking ceiling fan and a bunch of white lights. I heard several people mumbling, but my eyes couldn't shift in their direction. I had no idea how long I'd been lying there, but to me it seemed like a very long time. There was no smell, no nothing. Not even any pain. My thoughts of lying there like this caused tears to rush to my eyes. I could feel those tears running down the corners of my eyes. I tried to blink, but my eyes remained focused on the bright, blinding lights.

After lying there for a while, a pretty face appeared before me. I had no idea who it was, and her voice was so soft that I could barely make out her words. I tried to tell her to speak up, but my mouth wouldn't move. It wasn't until I saw a baby in her arms that I realized that the chick speaking to me had to be Monica.

“Home,” she said in a whisper. “Come home now Tremaine. I want you back. We need you to come back.”

I tried to lift my hand to wipe her tears, but no go. I wanted to hold my child, especially when I heard him crying. Monica rocked him in her arms, trying to quiet him. But as time went on, the cries got louder and louder. Those cries turned into laughter and another chick appeared. Monica stepped away so she could have her say. Her voice was sassy, so I could tell it was Bree.

“What happened to you, Tremaine? I thought you were going to stop by later? Every time you tell me that shit, I get my hopes up. But it is what it is because you know I'ma get mine.”

Bree smiled at me and held my hand with hers. I couldn't even feel her touch. I tried to smile but couldn't. Wanted to tell her to wait for me tonight, but I suspected that I wasn't going to make it.

As I was able to shift my eyes to the left, I saw Porsha with tears streaming down her face. She was holding her belly and kept shaking her head. “What am I going to do?” she cried. “I don't know how I got myself in this predicament, but you gotta get up and help me figure this shit out. I can't do this all by myself, Tremaine. I need you and I'm so afraid right now.”

Afraid of who or what? I tried to ask.
And what about the baby? How is the baby?

Porsha kept sobbing. Unable to hear me she walked away.

Minutes later, everybody had cleared out. I was alone again. I laid there for what seemed like more hours and hours had gone by. My tears kept on flowing. The beeping sound was driving me nuts and those bright lights were killing me. I wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep but this time they wouldn't even close. So many thoughts were swarming around in my head. My mind traveled back to the accident. I saw myself driving fast. I could actually see the crash and my whole body jerked when I witnessed the deadly crash. The man inside of the truck was thrown from his vehicle too. I saw him flip in the air and land hard on the concrete. After that, another car came and ran over his body. There was no doubt in my mind that he was dead, but what about me?

While in thought, I heard the weeping sound of her voice. It was so loud that it made the beeping sounds fade away. Appearing in front of me was Keysha. A black veil covered her face and black, silk gloves were over her hands. She leaned over me, screaming and hollering, “Why?” at the top of her lungs.

“Why, Tremaine? Why did you do this? I need for you to come back to us and handle your damn business. Keith needs you. I need you too! Come back, baby, come back!”

Keysha started pounding my chest real hard. I could feel my body moving and it was as if I was jumping up from the bed. As her fists slammed into my chest, the beeping sounds came back. The frown on her face turned into a smile, and I figured that her pounding so hard on my chest was bringing me back to life. Even I had to smile about that.

“Come on, baby,” she said. “I see you fighting. Fight harder! Harder than that!”

“I'm trying,” I said to myself.

I didn't think she heard me, until she moved in closer and whispered something in my ear. “You'd better try harder than that, nigga! That way, when you get back here, you can welcome your new baby into this world. I'm eight months pregnant and I expect for daddy to step it the fuck up. This now makes me an official member of your baby mama's club, and I intend to drive yo' ass crazy! So get your lazy ass out of this bed, bring me my money, and don't forget the goddamn Pampers and milk! I need that shit too!”

Keysha backed away from me and laughed. Right then, I didn't care if I were dead or alive. I didn't know if I was in my casket or in a hospital bed. All I knew was the beeping sound went flat and I could feel my body being jerked around. The sound of my heartbeat was now thumping in my ears. I was starting to feel more pain. The room was spinning, and when I opened my eyes, I was dizzy as fuck but still alive. Thing is, I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, especially if Keysha's ass was really pregnant.
Fuck
!