Give a Boy a Gun (2 page)

Gary was enormously bright. You wouldn't know it, because he was one of the quiet ones; never raised his hand. I noticed it first in math. He almost always did perfectly on his quizzes, unless he made a careless mistake. But the computer was the real tip-off. I wanted to do a class Web page. Gary volunteered to do it. No matter what the problem, he seemed to know three ways to fix it.

—Stuart McEvoy, Gary's sixth-grade teacher at Middletown Middle School

A lot of kids play computer games and junk, but it was different with Gary. The thing about him was he was on [the computer] all the time. I'd call his house and he'd answer with this faraway voice, and I'd know he was online. He'd sound weird because there'd be this split-second delay in his conversation, and those typing sounds. Like he was doing two things at once. Then one day I was over there, looking over his shoulder. He had three instant message screens open and was chatting with someone different in each one.
And
he
was on the phone. That's when I realized that when I called, he wasn't doing two things at once. He was doing four.

—Ryan Clancy

I brought [Gary] to a psychologist. I hoped he'd let out a little of what he was feeling. She said he was guarded. I don't think she ever got close to what was going on in his head. It's obvious now that none of us did.

—Cynthia Searle

I'll give you an example of how bright Gary was. After the first month of sixth grade I got a message one day to call his mother at work. I remember the phone call because she seemed reluctant to say exactly what was on her mind, but I finally got the impression that she was wondering why I didn't give more homework.
Apparently, Gary rarely spent more than half an hour a night doing it. The funny thing was half the parents in the class were complaining that I gave the kids too much homework.

—Stuart McEvoy

“The outcasts, obsessed with violent video games and intrigued by German rock music and Nazi culture, also had pastimes as wholesome as baseball; they were part of a tight circle of friends, earned top grades, held jobs and looked forward to life after graduation—factors that no doubt reassured their parents.”

—
New York Times
, 6/29/99

It's easy to look back now and dissect the stuff you did for every little clue. Like one summer Gary and I had these magnifying glasses, and we'd burn bugs and caterpillars alive. It was kind of cool to watch them twist and squirm. Is that a clue? Or something a dillion other kids do too?

—Ryan Clancy

I still find it difficult to believe he was part of what happened. The guns and holding those poor children hostage in the gym like that. What they did to that football player. That wasn't the Gary I knew. If you're looking for answers, don't look at him. Look at Brendan Lawlor.

—Ruth Hollington

To the good people of Middletown:

I hope this gets printed in big, bold letters on the front page of the newspaper, because it's something every single one of you should read. I'm gone now, and you want to know why I took your kids with me?

Here's why. You made my friggin' life miserable. How? By the way you raised your kids to all want to be the same and to hate anyone who dares to be a little different. Oh, no, you're probably thinking, you didn't do that.

You sure did. I've seen you in your cars staring at me and my friends.
Look at those creeps. Look at their clothes and the music they listen to. Why can't they go out for sports or at least root for our team?

Brendan Lawlor and his family lived here [in Springfield] until the middle of seventh grade [when they moved to Middletown]. I'd say from second grade on I was about his best friend. There were times when we got into fights and wouldn't talk for a while, but mostly we were friends. I always thought Brendan was a really cool kid. Popular, too.

He was smart and funny and a pretty good athlete for an average-size, thin kid. He was fast. He could really dis anyone to pieces, and he was one of those guys who would think up a cut-down right on the spot. I'll never forget one time when we were goofing on this one kid because he had B.O., and Brendan said, “Your armpits smell so bad, the teacher gave you an A for
not
raising your hand.” That really cracked us up.

—Brett Betzig, a friend of Brendan's from Springfield

Brendan was one of the more vocal boys in the class, but also a very good student. He always had his homework and projects in on time. He was very good at expressing himself on paper, although his grammar and spelling were atrocious, which is often the case with boys his age. He could be temperamental, but that's also not unusual.

— Katherine Sullivan, Brendan's sixth-grade teacher at Springfield Middle School

You couldn't have asked for better neighbors than the Lawlors. Tom and Samantha Lawlor were so nice, always offering to help pick up a child or drive someone somewhere. They kept a neat house and a neat lawn, and I can count on one hand the number of times I heard either of them raise their voice to Brendan. I was very sorry when they moved away.

— Kit Conner, a neighbor of the Lawlors' in Springfield

Brendan and I were on the same soccer teams because our dads were friends and they coached together. I was usually in a forward spot because I liked to score. Brendan was usually on defense. He was funny about soccer. Sometimes he'd race across the field and throw his body in front of the ball like his life depended on it, and other times he acted like he couldn't care less. I always had the feeling his dad wished he'd play harder and take it more seriously.

—Brett Betzig

You know how some people seem really relaxed and at ease with themselves? Not Brendan. He never seemed comfortable. He was always a little on edge, a little wary. It was like his brain couldn't stop, even when we were just having a good time.

—Julie Shore, a friend of Brendan's from Springfield

“ ‘[Mr. and Mrs. Kinkel] were devoted parents in a tight-knit family. . . . Bill had tried everything with Kip.' ”

—a friend of the Kinkels',
New York Times
, 6/14/98

One thing about Brendan: He hated injustice. I remember there was this soccer game, and some kid on the other team should have been called for hands. It was really flagrant, but the ref didn't see it. A couple of seconds later their team scored. Brendan went ballistic. He was right in the ref's face, shouting and cursing like a madman. The rest of us were actually embarrassed. Mr. Lawlor had to come out on the field and take Brendan away. But Brendan just hated stuff like that.

—Brett Betzig

I was out in the front of the house when Samantha [Lawlor] drove into her driveway and got out of the car. She used to drive Brendan to school. This particular morning she looked like a wreck. Like she was going to cry. I asked if everything was okay, and she said Brendan had given her a particularly hard time that morning. I invited her in for
coffee. I think she was hoping that because I'd raised two sons, I could give her some advice.

“ ‘Sue [Klebold] was more patient and gentle and kind with her kids than I was able to be.'”

—a friend of the Klebolds',
New York Times
, 6/29/99

She actually cried a little and confided in me that Brendan could be very difficult. He wasn't cooperative about doing chores, and he would blow up when he got upset. She said there were days when it was practically impossible to get him out of bed and dressed for school. It seemed so odd to me. His parents were both the opposite—even-tempered. Samantha especially was soft-spoken and gentle. Maybe he was too much for her.

—Kit Conner

We used to play video games a lot. One of our favorites was
Need for Speed
. The idea was to win the race, but we had just as much fun crashing into each other and trying to run each other off the course. Then Brendan got a demo of one of the
Doom
games. I remember we were totally blown away by it. For a couple of weeks it was all we did after school. And it was only a demo. I remember Mrs. Lawlor coming into his room one afternoon
and wanting him to turn off the game and go out and play. And it was like Brendan didn't even hear her, he was so into that game. She said it again, and Brendan told her to go away. He didn't even look up. Mrs. Lawlor looked totally stunned that he'd said that. Of course, Brendan didn't notice a thing. He was too busy playing. But that was the only time I ever heard him be fresh to her.