Give Me Four Reasons (12 page)

‘Tell us all about him,’ the girls shriek.

I rack my brain for details about Jack. ‘Well, his name is Jack and he’s sixteen.’

‘Sixteen!’ the girls chorus.

‘Yeah,’ I continue. ‘He’s won all these junior pro-surfing tournaments. He travels around the country going from comp to comp. He’s really good.’

‘So what does he look like?’ Brooke asks.

‘Well, he has long hair that’s bleached by the sun and it’s always messy. And he is really tanned, of course.’

‘Sounds hot,’ Miff says. ‘Any friends?’

‘Yeah, he was camping with three other guys—Shane, Tex and Spock.’

‘So when can we meet him?’ Sidney says. ‘And his friends?’

‘Um, well, he did say he was coming down this way in about a month. He said he’d drop by.’

‘Did he give you that cool pendant?’ Miff asks.

‘No, another friend from up there gave me this.’

‘Jeez, Paige, how many boyfriends did you have?’ Sidney says. ‘But that’s okay. I guess a girl like you would have lots of boyfriends.’

I am about to laugh, because I suddenly realise that they think Jack was
my
boyfriend. But then the second part of Sidney’s words hit me.

‘What do you mean, a girl like me?’

‘Cool, of course!’ Sidney says. ‘You must have ruled your school last year.’

The Starshine Girl thinks I’m cool! I can’t believe I’m having such a crazy first day of high school.

‘So tell me about you guys,’ I say. But at that moment the bell clangs.

‘We’ve got Maths now,’ Miff groans, consulting her timetable. ‘I’ve heard Mr Handler is mean. Instant detention for anyone who talks in class.’

‘Meet back here at lunch, then,’ Sidney says. It is not a request, more of a command. But I don’t mind. The Starshine Girl wants to see me again. I wonder if she is the stylish, fair-haired girl that Claire, the Queen of Clairvoyance, said would bring happiness to my life. I hope so.

I’m about to say I’ll be back at lunchtime for sure, when I remember something. ‘I … I don’t know,’ I mutter apologetically. ‘I’ve got to see that Mrs McKenna first. She might put me on detention or something.’

‘Well, let us know what happens,’ Miff says. ‘Good luck.’

‘Yeah, good luck,’ the other girls chorus. Sidney squeezes my arm.

Just then I look up to see Elfi and Rochelle staring at me from the balcony above the cockroach hole. I raise my hand and wave at them, but Mandi, the Chinese girl, high-fives it.

‘Read It and Weep, Paige,’ she says.

Rochelle and Elfi turn away.

* *

‘Paige Winfrey,’ Mrs McKenna says. She stares at me from across a desk the size of a football field.

‘Mrs McKenna,’ I answer. I hope it is the correct answer. I’m not completely sure there was a question.

‘Let’s try that again,’ says Mrs McKenna. She stands, sighs, and then leans forward over the table. ‘Paige Winfrey.’

‘Mrs McKenna?’ Suddenly I’m not so sure of her name. Maybe I’ve got it wrong. Am I pronouncing it right?

‘
Yes
, Mrs McKenna!’ Mrs McKenna roars.

‘Yes, Mrs McKenna,’ I reply.

Silence.

Mrs McKenna walks to the coat stand in the corner and puts on her jacket. ‘I know your type, Paige Winfrey,’ she says as she buttons it up. ‘You’re a troublemaker.’

My mouth falls open with surprise. Me? A troublemaker?

‘You think school is too boring and too slow and taught by teachers who are too old.’

I start to shake my head.

‘You’re smart, you’re pretty, and people sit up and take notice of you,’ Mrs McKenna continues.

I nearly burst out laughing.

Mrs McKenna stares at me. ‘You think it’s funny, do you?’ she says. The left side of her face starts to twitch.

‘Um, yes …’ I try to explain. ‘I’m nothing like that at all. Maybe you should read the transcripts from my last school.’

‘Read It and Weep, you mean? I don’t need to read it. You identified yourself as soon as you walked in late to that assembly hall, wearing that short skirt and giving me cheek.’

‘I … that’s not really me. I lost some weight and my skirt didn’t fit any more … so my sister——’

Mrs McKenna holds up her palm and shuts her eyes. ‘I don’t want to hear it. Just know this, Paige Winfrey. I’ll remember you. And I’ll be watching you. Now go.’

I try to scuttle from the office. But, in my hurry, I bump into the filing cabinet and trip over the rubbish basket by the door. I kneel down and scoop the screwed up papers back into the bin. I glance back to see if Mrs McKenna is watching.

She isn’t.

* *

I head off in the direction of the cockroach hole, scurrying as usual with my head down, hoping no one notices me. But I can’t stop thinking of Mrs McKenna’s words. I am the ‘Read It and Weep’ girl. I am a troublemaker. I am … smart and pretty. How could she have got it so wrong?

Two girls leave a classroom and walk down the corridor towards me.

‘Hi, Paige,’ the taller girl says.

I stop, dumbfounded. Do I know this girl? Is she someone I met years ago at ballet or Little Athletics or tennis, or at any of the other activities my parents tried and failed to get me interested in over the years?

‘How’d you go with Mrs McKenna?’ the other girl asks.

‘Yeah, she’s a bit of a cranky old biddy for the first day of school,’ the first girl adds.

I blink, stunned. ‘Um … no, she’s all right. She … um … just told me I’m on her radar and to watch my step. Um … then I tripped over her garbage bin on my way out.’

‘You didn’t?’ says the taller one. She sounds impressed.

‘You’ve got guts, Paige Winfrey,’ says her friend.

They think I tripped over the bin on purpose, to be rude to Mrs McKenna! I’m about to explain it was an accident, when the first girl asks, ‘Hey, do you want to come and sit with us?’

‘I … well …’I glance towards the cockroach hole.

The girls, Mia and Holly, hook their arms through mine on either side and lead me off to the quadrangle. Kids stare at us, and I wonder if Mia and Holly have starred in TV adverts, too. But then I realise they are looking at
me
. I am the ‘Read It and Weep’ girl.

We see Sidney, Miff, Mandi and Brooke sitting in their normal spot by the tree. Nick and the other boys are sitting close by again. I think they all have a crush on Sidney.

‘Hey, Paige!’ Sidney calls. ‘How’d you go?’

We walk over and I tell the story again. This time I make it sound like I tripped over the bin on purpose.

Sidney and the others crack up laughing.

‘You’re going to drive Mrs McKenna nuts all year,’ Sidney says. Then she turns to Mia and Holly. ‘We’ve played netball against you two, haven’t we?’ she says. ‘Saturdays at Empire Park?’

‘Yeah,’ Holly says. ‘We’re in the Purple Dredds.’

‘I was wondering who your friends were, Read It and Weep,’ Miff says.

I look at the two girls I just met five minutes ago. ‘This is Mia, and this is Holly,’ I say. I hope I’ve got it right.

‘Are you keeping the same team this year?’ Sidney asks.

‘No,’ Mia says. ‘We lost our Shooter and our Centre. Boarding school. So the team’s folded.’

‘Well, we’re looking for some players for the school comp that’s starting soon,’ Sidney says. ‘Defence?’

‘Mia and I share Goal Defence and Goal Keeper,’ Holly says.

‘Perfect,’ Miff says. ‘What about you, Paige? You’re probably not tall enough for a Shooter, but you look like you’d make a mean Wing like Mandi here.’

Me, play netball? To do that, I’d have to be able to run and throw and catch a ball properly. I’d have to know the rules of the game. I’ve only ever played netball in school PE lessons, and I was always stuck playing Wing Defence, where I didn’t have to do very much except stand there and daydream.

But these girls
want
me to play. They
want
me to be on their team. I look at their pretty, eager faces, smiling at me and I
so
want to be on their team, too.

‘Yeah, I play Wing,’ I say.

‘Great,’ Sidney says. She wraps her left arm around me and her right arm around Miff. I put my left arm across Holly’s shoulder, and Holly grabs Mia with her free hand. Mia joins with Mandi who joins with Brooke. Brooke completes the circle with Miff. Seven of us. ‘Girls,’ Sidney declares. ‘It looks like we’ve got ourselves a team! Read It and Weep!’

I suddenly feel like I’m being watched. I look up at the cockroach hole. Elfi, Rochelle and Jed are looking down. I smile and lift my hand from Sidney’s shoulder to wave. Elfi crosses her arms. Rochelle does, too. Jed attempts a wave before his arm is nearly ripped off by Rochelle.

The circle breaks up and I have the chance to leave, to go up and see my best friends. But I hesitate. My best friends who don’t notice when I miss my turn in the Give Me Four Reasons game? My best friends whom I haven’t seen all summer and who were too busy to talk to me on the phone last night? My best friends who didn’t listen long enough to hear my news about my dad? I don’t want to be ignored and invisible any more.

So I stay sitting down with Sidney and Miff and the other girls, with my back to the cockroach hole.
They
don’t think I’m boring and invisible.
They
asked me about my holiday and listened to my answers, even if those answers were not quite the truth.

I smile at these new girls and promise myself that everything I tell them from now on will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

16

Rochelle and Elfi are not waiting for me after school. But Jed is sitting on the fence next to the entrance gate, swinging his feet and banging his heels into the steel mesh.

‘How was your day?’ I ask him.

‘It was okay,’ he says. ‘Some guys I used to hang with at my old grammar school are in my class.’

‘So where’re Elfi and Rochelle?’

‘Er … something came up. Dance practice, I think.’

I look sharply at Jed. ‘Elfi and Rochelle don’t take dance classes.’

Jed jumps down from the fence and we walk in silence towards the park beside the school. When we get there, we sit on a splintery wooden bench and stare out over the dry grass of the cricket oval. I can’t believe that only two days have passed since I was standing with Shelly on the hilltop overlooking Bloodstone Beach. It seems like ages ago.

‘So what’s going on?’ Jed begins.

I turn to look at him. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean the short skirt. The tan. The hair?’

‘Did Rochelle and Elfi give you a list?’

Jed grins. ‘Yep. You know I don’t really notice stuff like that.’

I shake my hair. ‘You didn’t notice that my ponytail is gone and that I’ve now got a fringe?’

‘Well, yeah,’ Jed says, staring at me. ‘Why?’

‘I felt like doing something different for a change. A new look.’

‘A new look or new friends?’

‘What?’

‘Why’d you diss us today?’

‘I didn’t. I just got caught up with stuff.’

‘With other people, you mean?’

‘Yeah, just like you did with your old friends from grammar school.’

‘So tomorrow everything will be cool again?’

‘Of course,’ I say.

Jed sighs, relieved. ‘Good. Because I started to see a whole new side of Elfi and Rochelle. They weren’t being very nice. It’s like the three of you have all morphed into different people or something.’

‘Morphing’s not allowed,’ I say. ‘Remember our motto?’ I thrust my arm out, palm down.

Jed slaps his hand onto mine. We twinkle our fingers up in the air, then he slams his hand back down onto mine again. ‘
Track three!
’ we say.

But I have already broken the pact. Something has changed over the summer. I got healthy, I got a tan, and I lost my dad to a new girlfriend. Not only that, since I got back, I got a taste of what it’s like to be noticed and to hang with the in-crowd.

And I like it.

I want more.

But I decide not to mention any of this to Jed for now. I reckon I can be popular
and
keep my old friends.

* *

My father comes over to see us that night. We have just finished dinner and I am loading the dishwasher.

‘Dad!’I run into his arms, forgetting for a moment that he has a new girlfriend, forgetting for a moment it was my fault he left us. I have missed him so much.

He hugs me tight, and we walk into the lounge room. Then he holds me at arm’s length and stares at me. ‘What happened to you? Hasn’t your mother been feeding you?’

‘Of course I’ve been feeding her,’ Mum snaps. She is folding the washing and organising it in piles across the lounge. She angrily shakes out each t-shirt and towel.

‘I think she looks great,’ Felicity says. She has come out of her bedroom, where she’d retreated to do her homework, and is now leaning against the hallway wall with her arms folded.

I stare at her, shocked.

‘Merry Christmas, girls.’ Dad hands each of us an envelope. Inside is a gift card from the mall for two hundred dollars.

Felicity whoops and throws her arms around him.

‘Thanks, Dad,’ I whisper.

‘You can buy anything you want,’ Dad says.

Mum snorts.

‘Great.’ I try to keep the tremor I’m feeling inside from sounding in my voice. ‘So where have you been staying, Dad?’

‘I’m renting a place in Juniper West,’ Dad says. ‘I know you don’t know that area, but it’s quite similar to here, really.’

‘Are you by yourself?’ I am afraid to ask, but I have to.

‘Not exactly,’ Dad says.

I don’t want to hear any more. I go over and help Mum with the washing. We flap and shake each item until it almost snaps in half. The TV is on and I can only hear snatches of Dad’s conversation with Felicity, but I can see his face glow as he talks.

‘Chloe … always wanted … loves the beach … good company … happy …’

Felicity doesn’t seem too upset by the news of Dad’s girlfriend. She is soon telling Dad all about Jack. I guess falling in love with a new person just like that is okay with her.

Dad walks across the lounge room and comes to stand next to me. ‘So how was your first day of high school, Paige?’ he asks.

‘It was okay,’ I mumble.

‘Big change?’